Micro Schtick @MicroSchtick
It's not that we don't want to be friends, It's that you'll take our jokes personally. We're Funny MutherEf'ers! Join us, BEFORE we join you! meetup.com/Micro-Schtick/ Eugene, OR Joined December 2013-
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#Cannabis = toolset. MxMatched correctly, objective-evidence of refractory issue mitigation can be documented by both Pro/Con DR's #MxSafe
Plz vote & RT for PORTLAND!!!! @Akili_King: @ElBullBear hey brother could you vote to help @BizModel l3an.com/1lJehMs
@FunnyJokeBook Don’t ever say that, you just date POS's because you feel sorry from them and vry-low expectations mean a vry-happy hottie!
@MicroSchtick Please RT to anyone in #Eugene or at #UO
#Comedy in #Eugene an Ale House Dinner Idea: Join Us, before We Join YOU = CelticDinner+Bits among friends 4 friends bit.ly/ComedyEugene
Strippers just make better instant GF's. They have so many issues that you can dial in your relationship, from 1-100% in the first 2 days.
@Funny_Truth you're not the slutty one are you, because I never date the slutty one first.
that's just the 'joy of sex book'. These laws just hate happy people.
How is it that some girls are so good at doing things themselves, and others are professional damsels in distress? Roll of the dice!
Odd or even!?! I don't think girl recess games were on the same level as boys'. Less fun, prolly. Less fear, definantly. B-B-Bridges, ne1?!?
"Wash my balls song" a song to remind me to wash ma balls. 20x( 2x( Wash my balls, my balls, ma balls.) 2x( Waash my Ballzz) 4x( my ballz) )
Hippies r probably the meanest people. They're not only stupid like republicans & liars like democrats they're completely hippocritical
Girls probably wouldn't just sit around a play with a head chopper offer, unless it was a millimeter from their eye and they were going out.
I think girls r more afraid of weird or strange shit than guys r. Which's odd because girls have WAY more weird & strange shit than guys do.
@girlposts Or... either your arm is always tired, or your legs are always tired.
"If ur stupidity got us into ur mess, why can't it get us out of ur mess?" If u say it, then ur auto-authorized to BITCH SLAP the listener
@girlposts It's why sex is so adventurous with the one you love!
@MicroSchtick Save ur friends life, Call/text them 759 today! It's the only way a GREAT friend can protect idiot friends w/ psychotic SO's
759'er a code that forces u DROP the weirdo ur dating w/o notice, comment or explanation. U can slow down in a car going faster than 35mph.
Smoasma @Smoasma128010
6 Followers 458 Following A scholar is like climbing a mountain. He will gain height by moving. It is like sleeping for a long time, and he will gain strength after a long time.
common bond @commonbondfl
1K Followers 2K Following
Cannabis VentureFund @CannaVF
40 Followers 152 Following We invest in capital efficient companies w/ high growth potential. Canna Venture Fund is privately managed & a non-resident accelerator. A @CannaVCG Project.
Cannabis Seed Fund @CannaSF
105 Followers 237 Following We support capital efficient companies w/ high growth potential. Canna Seed Fund is privately managed & a non-resident accelerator. A @CannaVCG Project.
Chill Tweets @Live_Dreams12
46 Followers 265 Following My real name is Tanner, Just let me be me, I'm just trying to live my life, Alarm clock off chasing my fucking dream #PartyHard
-TD, MX @ElBullBear
936 Followers 2K Following Babies & puppies luv me. MxBiotech: Mx:Scale/POAP Project. ChemEng, Med O-Chem & Startup fella, w/ pinch of Psychologist. I am how you say 'Illitwiterate'.
candeeh gonzalez @Candee_mily
354 Followers 2K Following
SeuAcervo_music @SeuAcervo_Music
87K Followers 85K Following There have been Others But never two Lovers Like Music, Music and Me...(MJJ)
Starve Ups Eugene @StarveUpsEUG
213 Followers 478 Following Starve Ups was launched by founders and is solely for founders. The group works tirelessly to change the game to make startups exponentially more successful.
Texas pun Slinger @SlappedSchtick
828 Followers 1K Following Drink, Smoke, Party, Rinse and Repeat...
MxSafe Passage @MxSafe
27 Followers 22 Following MxSafe Passage are the patients who ARE proof states and the federal government want re: cannabis. They all need safe passage back to their medical specialists.
Fight/Reaction Memes ... @2026fights
188K Followers 11K Following We post fight videos (We do not claim rights to the ownership of our content, videos can be removed by request) 🔗 https://t.co/05ImHdk217
SeuAcervo_music @SeuAcervo_Music
87K Followers 85K Following There have been Others But never two Lovers Like Music, Music and Me...(MJJ)
Russell Brand @rustyrockets
10.2M Followers 819 Following Join me weekdays LIVE on RUMBLE | 10 AM (PT) | 6 PM (BST) | 1 PM (ET)
Seth Meyers @sethmeyers
4.2M Followers 870 Following
1Weather @OneLouderApps
3.7M Followers 37K Following 1weather - trusted source of weather for 35M users
CONSERVATIVE @ConservativeOG
413K Followers 440 Following Reject Modernity. Embrace Tradition. 🇺🇸 https://t.co/uwaWD73vHx
Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
20.7M Followers 159 Following Husband, father, random sayer of stuff.
KevinSmith @ThatKevinSmith
2.7M Followers 67 Following It begins with me covered in sperm, trapped in my old man's balls. Then, suddenly... ESCAPE!
Adam Savage @donttrythis
1.2M Followers 866 Following Editor-in-Chief of @testedcom and author of #EveryToolsAHammer. Former co-host of #MythBusters. Inquiries: @wmespeakers
Teller @MrTeller
335K Followers 41 Following
Penn Jillette @pennjillette
1.5M Followers 164 Following I'm Penn Jillette, I work in the Penn & Teller Theater in Las Vegas and I work on http://t.co/1xAkunv6mr I do other stuff too.
Jason Sweeney @sween
856K Followers 209 Following limited edition, macaroni and glitter on construction paper
Liz Buckley @liz_buckley
23K Followers 733 Following Head of A&R at Ace Records. Resident music guest for Standard Issue podcast. Also a cat owner, so it’s mainly records and cats here, to be fair.
Boring Tweeter @b0ringtweets
156K Followers 100 Following Life is a roller coaster, just got to ride it.
AstonishingSod @AstonishingSod
6K Followers 1K Following JAMES THOMAS @HumuorMagazine @CrimerShow @TerbilDraems PODCAST https://t.co/0yMJdcMHCZ BOOK https://t.co/BFhFGsW33H PATREON https://t.co/udstHZRyXc he/him
Robin Flavell @RobinFlavell
16K Followers 2K Following Writer, copywriter and content creator. Where the tweets have no aim. Views my own.
Baby Jesus @JCautomatic
11K Followers 252 Following I once donated some sperm. The man shaking the charity bucket was not impressed though.
Amanda @Pandamoanimum
92K Followers 679 Following Welcome to my head. Please excuse the mess. Also on Bluesky: https://t.co/TOrnVfkzQ1 Threads: https://t.co/pmlQc89QB5
Alan Stoob OBE @nazihunteralan
9K Followers 2K Following Formerly Britain's Premier Nazi Hunter™. Now retired + solving cold cases across Bedfordshire. BOOK https://t.co/V6RjzhxSzj POD https://t.co/cdwUN8qsdR
Alice White @alicewhitey
17K Followers 711 Following
sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet
184K Followers 2K Following Please buy my book, I owe people money. enquiries: [email protected]
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
90K Followers 920 Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
Bill Mc7 @BillMc7
21K Followers 351 Following Current head writer for all the TV shows. Opinions are my employer's. They're terrible. Really terrible. I wish they'd get their own account.
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
25K Followers 2K Following Read my novel DEAD WRITERS IN REHAB : https://t.co/MPYiVYghqt
Megan Amram @meganamram
880K Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom
Molly McNearney @mollymcnearney
130K Followers 462 Following ep and co-head writer for jimmy kimmel live, emmys, oscars. i will squeeze your baby.
Sarah Beattie @nachosarah
428K Followers 566 Following writer. comedy person. I hate your ex boyfriend. Sorry I meant mine. I have big tits
Nostalgia @ComedyPosts
1.8M Followers 112 Following
Jerry Seinfeld @JerrySeinfeld
3.7M Followers 114 Following The Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee Book is available now!
Albert Brooks @AlbertBrooks
1.4M Followers 3 Following Filmmaker, actor, author Albert Brooks. Originally joined Twitter to promote my book. Now trapped. Can't get out. HELP. https://t.co/UJ2cdAYZ57
Tweriod @tweriod
67K Followers 151 Following Twitter tool that lets you know the best time to tweet! We analyze your followers. We also integrate with @buffer! @tweriod + @buffer = Awesomeness
Speak Comedy @SpeakComedy
1.9M Followers 40 Following Bringing you some of the funniest content on the internet - @Aly Email me: [email protected]
CrowdFund Eugene, OR @CrowdFundEUG
161 Followers 361 Following The brightest minds in Oregon working together to help our startups. Please join our team! http://t.co/x3dp3YKU8N
Cannabis Startups @CannaStartups
149 Followers 168 Following We RT #CannaStartup We help Marijuana & Cannabis Startups. Business Formation | Strategy | StartUp Svcs | Funding. What do u need to get in front of Investors?You might like
