Pulp Election @PulpElection
THRILLING tales of BIZARRE candidates locked in a HORRIFYING election cycle! Joined February 2016-
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The media ran negative story after negative story about Donald #Trump on the risky assumption that some of his supporters could read.
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To say #Sanders upset #Clinton would be an understatement. It was more accurate to say that he massively pissed her off. #MichiganPrimary
Trump's schedule was packed w/ appearances & interviews leaving almost no time for him to strangle a kitten so he could achieve an erection.
There was nothing @realDonaldTrump could't attain through sheer force of will, except hair that didn't look like a fucking optical illusion.
As #Romney stepped out onto the stage, his supporters cheered. He'll save us, they thought. Republican John Kerry will save us.
"TED CRUZ" — A Bad Lip Reading youtu.be/v75wCTMZoSY via @YouTube
#Carson announced he would not attend the next debate, this time physically as well as mentally.
Pulp Election retweeted
There's just one question on Chris Christie's mind. #SuperTuesday
"For #SuperTuesday I thought we'd watch Superman," said #Jeb with a DVD in his hand. The living room was empty but his wife had left a note.
#Hillary stood unwaveringly on the side of love and kindness--at least until polls indicated she should shift her position. #SuperTuesday
Of course #Cruz had plans in case #SuperTuesday went poorly but they were complicated and all involved finding another host body.
"My Tuesdays are more than super," declared #Trump. "They're fabulous, luxurious Tuesdays. Tremendous motherfucking Tuesdays!" #SuperTuesday
It was all in his head, #Christie realized. @springsteen hadn't really been taunting him. He wiped his forehead with a red bandana. THE END.
#Christie swerved. "We'd go down to the river," sang Bruce. The car flew over the side. "And into the river we'd dive." Blackness.
If #Christie could get across the river he'd be free of Springsteen. And Trump. And the guilt. That's when he saw it. The bridge was closed!
#Christie drove wildly towards Fort Lee to escape his own conscience. @springsteen materialized in the passenger seat. "Born to run, Chris."
Shelly @Shelly85934488
61 Followers 4K Following 😈❗️ I'm Shelly!❕ Нeге is mу album аnd my nаked рics!)) Vote for mе, рlеаse:💕 https://t.co/uA2iFRfVnc
Nowell Mann @NowellMann
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BUSBY'S West @BUSBYSWEST
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ANDTheatre Company @ANDTheatreCo
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Tell Us We're Funny a... @arewefunny
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Sacred Fools Theater ... @SacredFoolsLA
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Jeff Stone! @WheelbearGo
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Tara Jean O'Brien blu... @tartarsauce1
1K Followers 2K Following Performer/Writer/StandUp, Nicholl Q-Finalist, @craptaculus, former headline writer for @theonion. Bad knees. Good speller.
Heather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell
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Josh @bosdcla14
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Doug Lief & The Elect... @humanjaysherman
98 Followers 354 Following Host of Nostalgium Arcanum (@nostalgiumpod), co-host of Let’s All Go To The Marvels (@gotothemarvels) and A Podcast, But Evil (@podcastbutevil)
Tell Us We're Funny a... @arewefunny
43 Followers 29 Following L.A.-based humans @LaurenFlans (Another Period) and @DernErster (MADtv) meet weekly to discuss the news and do dumb bits every 15-30 seconds. New ep every Tues.
93.7 The Rock @937TheRock
549 Followers 725 Following Denver's Newest Radio Station. Playing the top hits from every decade! Hal Moore 6-10 am, Jimmy Rock 4-7 pm & Brian J. 7-10pm
Brian J. Hunt @BrianJHunt
744 Followers 448 Following Pinnacle Advertising *LEGO City Adventures * 93.7 FM The Rock * Dad Style Comedy
Josh Covitt @JoshCovitt
886 Followers 1K Following Mildly acclaimed Actor, Writer, Director. Too many superlatives & accolades to fit here. “Easily one of the best accounts on all of social media!” -Anonymous
Dave Buckman @davebuckman
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SF Sketchfest @SFSketchfest
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Pop My Culture @pmcpodcast
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Cole Stratton @colestratton
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Scott Takeda @ScottTakeda
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landon kirksey @itslandon
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Daegan Palermo @daeganpalermo
61 Followers 57 Following Actor, Los Angeles. RTA Agency. (310) 321-8484 11500 W Olympic Blvd, Ste 400 Los Angeles, California
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12.7M Followers 505 Following Go check out my new album "Lush Life: The Lost Sinatra Arrangements" out now!
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The Daily Show @TheDailyShow
8.9M Followers 1K Following Jon Stewart and The Best F**king News Team. Weeknights 11/10c on @ComedyCentral. Next day on @paramountplus. New episodes September 8th!
The Onion @TheOnion
11.1M Followers 7 Following America's Finest News Source. A @globtetrahedron subsidiary. Get the paper delivered to your door: https://t.co/jJP2Apbhe8
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4.7M Followers 554 Following You know... the weird one. Instagram: alfredyankovic Bluesky: alyankovic Threads: alfredyankovic YouTube: alyankovic Facebook: weirdal TikTok: alyankovic
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Heather Anne Campbell @heathercampbell
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436 Followers 58 Following Owner of Boom Chicago (the Amsterdam comedy show) and author of Boom Chicago's Urban Amsterdam blog about his favorite city. There is no u in favorite.
Matt Chapman @TheMattChapman
469 Followers 413 Following Director - FunnyOrDie, Disney, TruTV, Comedy Central, Boom Chicago, Improv Olympic, UCB's The Midnight Show. Deez thoughts my own. https://t.co/k78O1cSOxk
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1.3M Followers 39 Following On tour in 2023. New Album “Only The Strong Survive” out now! Listen Here: https://t.co/8pURk3cdFA
William Shatner @WilliamShatner
2.4M Followers 551 Following Father to 3 women. Canadian *NOT POLITICAL* be warned or be blocked! Calendar: https://t.co/4Jwy1dww25 Charity: https://t.co/HmIzHkPLvx No Podcasts! https://t.co/82IXIOYEVo
Lost Moon Radio @lostmoonradio
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