Matt Gertz's Forehead (non-parody) @SuaSponte2020
🎶 There was something in the air that night, the stars were right, f'thagn 🎵 🐈 Joined November 2020-
Tweets34K
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Followers407
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Following342
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Likes39K
Read the screenshotted tweet slowly, word for word, imagining someone is telling you this in real life. Read it with as dramatic and as serious a voice as possible. Escalate the intensity & passion every time you come across a period.
if you watch My Girl backwards, an angry mob of bees have a change of heart and bring a child back to life with their asses.
Slept in my King Missile t-shirt, woke up with my penis missing again.
You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
If you seek to continue to grow as a person, at a certain point your primary form of reading can’t be superhero comics made for children.
If you seek to continue to grow as a person, at a certain point your primary form of reading can’t be superhero comics made for children.
They admitted it. It's about the fear of being compared to a "greater" man.
@Johnanomous @gol_mia I desperately need you to get real problems
How do you make everyone hate you? Write a book about killing your dog. THE END
I know they don’t play about this teacher 💀
You're not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.
Various Christian views of Hell as GIFs. 1) Eternal Conscious Torment (Dante style). Hell is God's *retribution* for your sins. The fire is literal. Level of punishment is scaled to fit your sins, but the worst part is the separation from God forever. Held by: Augustine.
I have never looked this cool in my life
I have never looked this cool in my life https://t.co/tkqkk1EOZU
Benjamin Netanyahu eat my entire ass you whiny little bitch. Signed a Jewish person you do not and never ever will speak for or represent.
“We don’t trust teachers to teach or pick books, but we trust them with guns” has to be one of the stupidest takes ever.
“We don’t trust teachers to teach or pick books, but we trust them with guns” has to be one of the stupidest takes ever.
It is the most beautiful video game ever made
The replies brutally murder poor Charlie.
The replies brutally murder poor Charlie.
@Acyn STOP PRETENDING I'M NOT AMERICAN BECAUSE I DISAGREE WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING SIMPLETON!!!
This is my yearly rant. My father survived the OKC bombing. He was on the 7th floor when it was attacked. If all you talk about today is the “Oklahoma Spirit” and say “never forget” but don’t talk about how the GOP is now carrying McVeigh’s flag you’re doing it all wrong.
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Jennifer Lee Rossman .. @JenLRossman
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Dr. Christine Sartesc.. @DrSarteschi
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@CheyCab Is this billboard.... In Minneapolis? The city that has fallen?
@CheyCab Lots of buildings for a city that fell
@TheStarman923 You can easily balance a pencil if you push it up.
@TheStarman923 The person who dismisses rockets because he can't accept that the thrust can be adjusted on a gimbal to keep the rocket flight steady, blindly accepts the wonder of technology that is a modern smart phone.
Dial back the faux surprise Jesse . According to my friend @KatiePhang who is a lawyer and she is on tv, “under NY law and procedure, the moving party (in this case the prosecution) must meet their burden to have someone held in contempt.” Judge Merchan ruled the prosecution met…
Watters: They are threatening to throw the Republican nominee for president in jail for talking. I am not a lawyer… It’s unconstitutional
@kairyssdal I’ll tell you why. They don’t ever listen to their front line people who actually do the work that makes the company money and who know what works and what doesn’t. They regard them as a special interest group, disposable, & who don’t work as hard as they do.
@kairyssdal You could toss all those words up in the air and whatever order they landed would make just as much sense.
A reminder for anyone that needs to hear it: the dystopian post-apocalyptic hellscape depicted in Fallout is still infinitely more hospitable to human life than the Martian surface
Read the screenshotted tweet slowly, word for word, imagining someone is telling you this in real life. Read it with as dramatic and as serious a voice as possible. Escalate the intensity & passion every time you come across a period.
Marijuana is not as dangerous as heroin. There is no reason for them to be in the same class of controlled substances. We should celebrate the fact we’re finally changing course from the failed, racist legacy of the War on Drugs.
Breaking: WASHINGTON (AP) — US drug control agency is moving to reclassify marijuana as a less dangerous drug in a historic shift, AP sources say.
I don't have an opinion on any of this BS so I'm not going to comment... oh wait...
@CBoTheEggman I like when multi billionaires tell me how cheap things are.
I cannot imagine being this fucking stupid
@thescottbarber My first thought was can you imagine a pastor going to a neurological conference, and the panel is being asked about historical theology?? The panel starts spouting about how Athanasius and Calvin wrote the canon. JMAC would go nuts.
Since police have zero self control when they’re called in to do crowd control the end result is always the same: taxpayer funded lawsuits the victims win every time. Not only are they overfunded but they get a perpetual blank check of your money on top of it to do this shit:
Shocking footage shows several officers at Washington University St. Louis beating a professor, slamming him, and dragging his limp body. SIUE history professor Steve Tamari is reportedly hospitalized with broken ribs and a broken hand. One doctor told him he's lucky to be alive.
@SuaSponte2020 The sheer amount of Elon schlong sucking in that thread is unreal.
@SuaSponte2020 HE DID x.com/elonmusk/statu…
@MuskBreaking I personally wrote the first national maps, directions, yellow pages & white pages on the Internet in the summer of 1995 in C with a little C++. Didn’t use a “web server” to save CPU cycles (just read port 8080 directly). Couldn’t afford a Cisco T1 router, so wrote an emulator…
@Prauphett Absolutely, it will be my movie of the week this Saturday
@SuaSponte2020 @TheGeneral_0 @historyinmemes I actually still have it hanging in the garage
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