Associate Deans @ass_deans
Making fun of middle management in colleges and universities. Because you can never have too many associate deans conspiring to be THE dean. Inside an Ivory Tower Joined June 2014-
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The new dean is a Milton scholar. I hope this informs you about our organization and culture. (Someone explain it to the engineers)
The new VP is from New Orleans. After the announced program cuts, he’ll lead a second-line to HR.
There are two types of professors. Those who protest and those who enjoy watching their colleagues getting arrested.
“ . . . meaningful, lasting and impactful committee product.”
Administrative experience is far more important than in substantive expertise in the field! English professors who have been deans can manage the engineers!
Please refrain from calling the Tuesday/ Wednesday / Thursday schedule people ‘twats.’
Why did I become an associate dean? All my friends were becoming associate deans, so I thought I would too!
We got out in front on these compliance issues, even before we even had to. You suffered for it, but now other universities are looking to our college as a leader on compliance!
Yes, we can track when you’re on campus. And we do! We just don’t access those data until we need to.
The tents on our campus are for our adjuncts, not protestors. This ain’t the Ivy League.
Your teaching evaluations aren’t great, you aren’t publishing much, and you have no external funding, have you considered going into administration?
Finals are so stressful! Everyone needs approvals and signatures under tight deadlines! That’s why I always take vacation during finals, it reduces my stress so much!
Sometimes institutional memory is useful. Especially if it comes from the last century.
Please forgive the typos, I am responding on my phone from my beach house.
No, your department’s job candidates aren’t seasoned and experienced, they were fired from jobs at even lower ranked institutions.
I understand rent seeking behavior and appreciate your efforts to secure rents for yourself, but there are no rents for you in this college. Not now, not ever.
We measure the effectiveness of our communication by the number of emails we send. #winning
The problem is neither the product, nor the organizational culture, nor the organizational leadership.
When recruiting new students, please refrain from telling our applicants to go to their first choice. You aren’t helping.
Run like a business they said! So we jacked up tuition, added a bunch of hidden fees, and made jobs at the college more conditional, temporary, and less secure. Apparently they don’t want us to run like a business. Not a successful one anyway.
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If Ass Dean keeps being so compassionate, they’re going to get demoted.
There are two types of professors. Those who protest and those who enjoy watching their colleagues getting arrested.
@ass_deans @esdsantos Like your account but this wasn’t helpful, actually, the opposite
I wish
The new dean is a Milton scholar. I hope this informs you about our organization and culture. (Someone explain it to the engineers)
@ass_deans Depends on the colleagues - if they are Ass Deans 🙃
@ass_deans There's no associate dean on earth who knows or cares what a Milton scholar is
@ass_deans Milton Bradley board games. Office fun with Candy Land!
Sorry. That’s a good one.
There are two types of professors. Those who protest and those who enjoy watching their colleagues getting arrested.
The uni where I worked for 13 yrs GREW and flourished with leadership of opera singer president and medieval English lit provost. Alas, the president was too successful, so was appointed somewhere bigger. Then a new non-humanities prez and provost arrived, and enrollment tanked.
The new dean is a Milton scholar. I hope this informs you about our organization and culture. (Someone explain it to the engineers)
"There are two types of professors. Those who protest and those who enjoy watching their colleagues getting arrested." - @ass_deans
@ass_deans @profjmb Those that “lightly hit” a police officer on the head & then are surprised when they get arrested.
@Econ_Marshall @adam_tooze Refreshing constantly to see what @ass_deans has to say about all this.
Looks like @ass_deans had a sign posted at the edge of the faculty parking lot to remind professors about their “research duties as assigned”
On point. Same with industrial action …
There are two types of professors. Those who protest and those who enjoy watching their colleagues getting arrested.
Better to reign in Hell, than to serve in Heaven.
The new dean is a Milton scholar. I hope this informs you about our organization and culture. (Someone explain it to the engineers)
@ass_deans Getting my popcorn ready to watch the fun !
@ass_deans Oh, that's a little too close to home right now. . .
@ass_deans I’d protect students —they’re allowed a couple of bad ideas when they’re young—but I’d stand by and watch with giddy delight as my vapid woke progressive colleagues @COMatBU (almost all of them privileged, race obsessed, white women) were carted off
@ass_deans Our soon-to-be-outgoing SENIOR ass dean @COMatBU has no industry experience. Sincerely. None. A career academic who studies First Ladies, writes slobbering papers about Mrs. Obama and calls it scholarship. It doesn’t deter her from micromanaging colleagues who actually produce.
@ass_deans Engineers: it means we're fancy
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