Jon @giftedrascal

My knob is the same size as a Greggs sausage roll. I'm no longer allowed in Greggs. Joined January 2014

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101K
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Jon @giftedrascal

9 hours ago

I don't know who this woman is but she's brilliant and I wish her every happiness

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Jon @giftedrascal

13 hours ago

Is he talking about the accusations totting up, or his age?

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Jon @giftedrascal

15 hours ago

I don't know much about cricket apart from the fact they have their tea far too early. Most people are still in work. 6pm is a good time for tea.

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Jon @giftedrascal

18 hours ago

Someone asking me what my plans are for the weekend. It's Wednesday. I don't know my plans for the next hour. My life is lived on the edge.

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Jon @giftedrascal

a day ago

Can't believe I read this nonsense. Caught in a trap

Mirror Celeb @MirrorCeleb

a day ago

Can't believe I read this nonsense. Caught in a trap

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Jon @giftedrascal

a day ago

What if you're wearing 2 shirts, one under the other. Would you still be booked for removing it?

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Imagine if your workplace was like football, I'd take my shirt off end get sent home early and have a lovely day off. Or just turn up bare arsed like Winnie-the-Pooh. "Don't come in tomorrow Jon, we'll see you Monday"

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Jon @giftedrascal

2 days ago

Had a dream that on a Friday I crushed up some Xanax and put it in the office milk, so everyone who drank brews had a nice peaceful chilled Friday afternoon. Was gutted when I woke up and realised it's only Tuesday

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Jon @giftedrascal

2 days ago

This makes him look like he's in the WWE and his finishing move is putting paracetamol in your mouth

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Jon @giftedrascal

2 days ago

Totally agree. I have to sleep on the left hand side of the bed. Can't settle otherwise

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Jon @giftedrascal

2 days ago

Anyone know what time the rapture starts? Only I was planning on putting some washing on the line. I'll use the dryer if its gonna happen before lunchtime.