mackhale @global_fluency
I retweet things Joined July 2011-
Tweets6K
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mackhale retweeted
ladies u have $10 to build ur perfect man: $12 - has feet $15 - knows how to talk $10 - is randy jackson $11 - doesn't have aids
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mackhale retweeted
[using ouija board] R2...L2....L1....R2...LEFT...DOWN... "what the hell?" [everyone is suddenly carrying like 8 different guns]
mackhale retweeted
chipotle never wraps my burrito right
mackhale retweeted
"can i see ur phone" me: umm hol up
mackhale retweeted
Good Cop: tell us where you hid the money Cop Who Likes Space Jam: Let's watch space jam
mackhale retweeted
Joel "Splash" Embiid? Through the first 10 games of his career, he has made more 3s (11) than Stephen Curry did in his first 10 games (9).
mackhale retweeted
Hey diddle diddle The cat had no middle It was basically a head & some legs.
mackhale retweeted
I'm sitting around Seattle fans and can say two things: 1. They travel well 2. They are undoubtedly the absolute worst
mackhale retweeted
she slim thicc 🍑🍆😍👏 need me one like this 😋👌💦👀
mackhale retweeted
"Harry Caray" reminisces about 1908, when the Cubs won it all and Theodore Huxtable Roosevelt was president: es.pn/2eCmYOB
mackhale retweeted
[hears baby crying] Wife: can you go check on him Me: no way he's finished in the bath already
mackhale retweeted
most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns
mackhale retweeted
Unbelievable they won't let me take my toilet to gate 1
mackhale retweeted
[screaming at Weird Al] THOSE AREN'T THE WORDS
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