john @howlinghuman

"Frustration is at the heart of human drive. It shows a sense of desire, a dead end and overcoming. Just like this syringe for heroim which now shows emptiness. I will fill this fucking bitch oncemore. Ok class dismissed." [Class walks out feeling enlightened but confused]

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

All these assholes who escape responsibility of sending a dickpic by saying it's an accident.... You are really fucking over us who chronically send dickpics by sincere accident.

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

I am dad. The leaning Tower of Pisa needs some Viagra. Ha. That feels good. It's soothes the vains.

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

I like being alone since some of thoughts can go very deep. Like about tunnels, caves, wells. I also like being alone since I have always liked sitting in tunnels, caves, wells.

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

Your worst nightmare... a Tetris player's most brain stimulating challenge yet, lots to think about

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

Even the priests get mad when another priest double-dips a child in the holy water. "It's just gross, I brought the water from the mountains with a bucket and a stick, so like wtf is this shit" said one priest in disdain.

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

Whats the deal with hockey? You're basically using knife boots to cut ice, what are you making? ice cubes? (Crowd's not laughing, I tell everyone to fuck off and die)

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

With my new pizza delivery service we rush through your doors with active fire alarms to notify you of how dangerously delicious our yummy pizzas are

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

My new favourite word is heteronormative, it's just so useful.

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

If the flat earth society and the flat mars society had a war, it would be the biggest match up ultimate frisbee has ever seen.

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daytime_friend0 @daytime_friend

8 years ago

In heaven feeling sad is illegal

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john @howlinghuman

8 years ago

Just like the assassin spins on his silencer, I spin my mouse wheel on the timeline Just like the assassin holds his breath to pull the trigger on a target, I click my mouse on Pepsi advertisements.