amateur observer 🧫 @in_the_database
😃 🕳 Joined September 2022-
Tweets364
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Followers30
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Following204
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Likes2K
I’m under your chef’s hat pulling your hair and making you react with 🥴 to your boss’s messages on Slack
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You know I had to do it to em
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
bro you gotta check out this new show it’s streaming on shbleebo and you log on through your health insurance account
I’m On my way! To pick up my stuff from your apartment. I never want to speak to you again
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
My self-driving Tesla crosses four lanes of freeway traffic in an attempt to jackknife an oncoming subaru. In the final seconds of my life, I’m filling out a captcha to try and regain control of the vehicle, but I don’t know which squares in the grid are “woke”
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
(Guy with no object permanence getting pussy) You stole it! You stole my thingy!
Don’t worry babe we don’t need a condom my dick has been treated with an antimicrobial process
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
Drunk guy: (pisses the couch) Me: (knowing this will make the host mad in a later act) That was Chekhov's piss
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
You can tell a lot about a person by violating HIPAA
If it was my regime I would sentence 15000 people to death for playing thunder by imagine dragons
under my fingernails is wakanda for monkeypox
:O I didn’t know they looked like that
that mf has a low threshold for contentness
amateur observer 🧫 retweeted
Alec Baldwin just bought a ticket to Car World Gala 👍
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692 Followers 174 Following hi im gordω flunk!! i love tweeting and making friends and to having fun!!! ^___^
Riley Read-Only @HotForMoot
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