fluent in fartgasm @suicidepussy
clumsily using chopsticks to eat kids menu tendies& french fries at Chinese restaurant & making gagging barf noises every time my date takes a bite of her sushi Joined October 2020-
Tweets6K
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Followers23K
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Following716
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Likes11K
retail gambling should be illegal. if you're in front of me at the gas station and you pull out that little plastic keno envelope thing stuffed full of bet slips I should be allowed to citizens arrest you and run your head over with my car
every time there's a tesla behind me on the highway I brake check like 6 times in a row to try and make it explode
media tab reveals no selfies/fit pics in the past 2 months or so... am I to assume you've taken a beau in my absence
the patriarchy either exists or it doesn't. a womans experience coming up in it, is either shaped by/through it, or it isnt. therefore, the "its misogynistic!" critiques of poor things are deliberately disingenuous or just vapid. All that aside, the movie sucks because it is Twee
are you ashkenazi by chance? yea i figured, can tell by h9w dense&heavy your breasts are. whats your take on Israel btw? I think we should sink it, lol. but yeah no u should definitely go pee the cum out, like asap. something is legit weird with mine, it makes ppl sick. like ill
1pm: I really need to save money. I'll just read more, in my free time. I have plenty of books, it costs next to nothing. and it will enrich me 1am: I should buy fancy hardcover editions of all my fav books yhat cost $100 each. it would make my shelves look insane and fix my life
adidas should give kanye his shoe deal back now. they should also give him an evangelion mech and air drop him into tel aviv
I like that ai is breathing new life into gay unfunny ideas that would otherwise die as 1-sentence, 2-fav throwaway posts. good. somebody should feed their entire timeline into one of those things post by post
tmz reports she's been spotted out on the town w some new suitors in recent weeks, on Friday dining at per se with Adam Cockroach, and just yesterday dancing awfully close up on Draymond Serpent
tmz reports she's been spotted out on the town w some new suitors in recent weeks, on Friday dining at per se with Adam Cockroach, and just yesterday dancing awfully close up on Draymond Serpent
I really hate seeing those little mini fleets of like 3 or 4 national grid trucks all driving in a row together lol. whatre youbguys all fucking gay together or something. are those your 3 little boyfriends
the more I think a out just stopping paying rent and living in my car for a year the more sense it makes. if I don't drink myself to death I could save up like 20k. do you have any idea how big of a 24k gold curb chain that could buy?? like 26", 10mm links easy
whats ur top pet peeves/red flags🚩🚩?! Mines is Being rude to service workers, Not being in therapy, and gym selfies! I hate the way ppl talk. and laugh. humor in general, thats another big one. I also dont like when ppl who think they know shit. the way women move their hands,
wow. actually its called avoidant attachment style annd its basically a disability. so its cuh-razy for you be mad at me for anything, that I do. bc of it. would u yell at a retarded kid for not being able to catch a football? I would. but thats bc I also have borderline persona
jake @jakebrodes
38K Followers 1K Following lord I dont have to do a goddamn thing but sit around and wait to die. @drunkuncleatx. the other guy from @pendejotime
Nathan J Robinson @jesuslasupajew
35K Followers 2K Following I'm a stress free kinda guy V 16🇻🇪🤝🇨🇳 non actionable parody I am not affiliated with any accounts I parody pls don't report me it makes me sadface :((
Daggerlad @Daggerlad2
36K Followers 953 Following Stories to tell your grandchildren. @lilmeaties factory worker
rock and roll photos @yesitsmyaccount
35K Followers 985 Following writer for @yesitsmyaccount/drums for Ames Harding & The Mirage
Katie D'Angelo @KatlynDAngelo
296 Followers 565 Following Infamously a one-time caption contest runner-up for a Sex And The City themed Instagram account
throatgoat666 @cuntcrunch
3 Followers 24 Following
Malcolm Gillies @MalcolmGil97326
7 Followers 195 Following
Benedict Gilman @BenedictGilman
227 Followers 2K Following
Wayco Perkins @Gundarjk
17 Followers 161 Following
lil boo sleep ☁️ @lilboosleep
4K Followers 804 Following 🫧‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾☆ ★ ☆☽༓🫧 give me some 🍰 Inztagram @lilboosleep ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Z
Horse Cock Clayton @prolapse_puppy
198 Followers 225 Following im 19 ✮✮ world record holder for most bongs broken
zack (derogatory) @dyslexicgoatz
29 Followers 157 Following dont care + the Pattern told me so + didnt ask
Heathcliff_fan @heathcliff_fan
0 Followers 150 Following
Henry Powel @powel_henr48124
458 Followers 3K Following https://t.co/27GkmtQNug Hi, I'm TV service provider. Are you looking for better and reliable TV subscription with your all favorite channels please?Thank you
greytel @vvGreytel
295 Followers 5K Following ✨ tell me your password and i'll tell you which astrological sign i think you are ✨
zach and zach and zac.. @plundersundered
157 Followers 649 Following my head is too far from my feet
Whatnot @Whatnot544064
12 Followers 1K Following
Joe @lock0ff
0 Followers 44 Following
Lucky Chickna @hungryhardfool
9 Followers 262 Following
capybara @commentbelow
0 Followers 401 Following
Richard Nixon, Teenag.. @pastanovice
50 Followers 142 Following Don't the Sun Look Angry Through the Trees?
inclinatio @texturedwarp
13 Followers 83 Following
retard ryan @loco_edger
6 Followers 58 Following My parents blame the vaccine for why I'm such a fucking stinkbrain 😈😈
Nick @Dominicculus
60 Followers 679 Following
DefensiveWhale @DefensiveWhale_
26 Followers 129 Following
اتففتخخهل @pussyinbiobot
179 Followers 757 Following $٩@/٦/٦:٧٨٢٨/HolyPussy In Bio❤️(6764;:)7$)($&&&
Riptide @MrDrRiptide
123 Followers 223 Following
erica @ericanextdooor
10K Followers 9K Following making parlays & petting strays • 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞
kitchen gun @slorrmp
1K Followers 344 Following
kfghy27468 @kfghy27468
11 Followers 30 Following
pm-me-manifestos @pmMeManifestos
1 Followers 9 Following
Barnaby @pisseckel666
117 Followers 787 Following Warrior Dad, Warrior Husband, Warrior Senior Sales Manager 1776 🇺🇲
jake @jakebrodes
38K Followers 1K Following lord I dont have to do a goddamn thing but sit around and wait to die. @drunkuncleatx. the other guy from @pendejotime
Nathan J Robinson @jesuslasupajew
35K Followers 2K Following I'm a stress free kinda guy V 16🇻🇪🤝🇨🇳 non actionable parody I am not affiliated with any accounts I parody pls don't report me it makes me sadface :((
Daggerlad @Daggerlad2
36K Followers 953 Following Stories to tell your grandchildren. @lilmeaties factory worker
rock and roll photos @yesitsmyaccount
35K Followers 985 Following writer for @yesitsmyaccount/drums for Ames Harding & The Mirage
Katie D'Angelo @KatlynDAngelo
296 Followers 565 Following Infamously a one-time caption contest runner-up for a Sex And The City themed Instagram account
gruh @GrahamSig
2K Followers 3K Following “Writer” ??? | Funland | Reviews in Broken Pencil | YOUR PUBLICATION HERE | Atrocity Exhibition with @mykreal | K:D Ratio with @hegelbon
1999 Live @25YearsAgoLive
22K Followers 25 Following Live-tweeting as a reporter embedded in history. Follow 1990s life! Curated by @MannyMarotta. Companion to @100YearsAgoLive and @50YearsAgoLive. DM for contact.
PhD in Don Bluth Stud.. @PunishedToponi
307 Followers 631 Following Dynamic American Tail of A Land Before Time scintillations
Herky Lipschitz @Phreakdawg69
1K Followers 3K Following "Autistic" and "disabled" people do not interact
Janie Danger @Wifesucker
9K Followers 701 Following Hypnagogic Powerviolence. New album East Atlanta Sober, drops June 20th.
The Cardigans Officia.. @ohcrapohno
1K Followers 3K Following reality is a simulation generated by a monolith on the dark side of the moon. The cube shaped storm on saturn is a soul recycler and reincarnation is a trap
Dickmaster at the Mov.. @dickmasterfilms
51 Followers 39 Following On this account im a movie critic
ward j littell @TheHazeFoley
467 Followers 706 Following Future General Secretary and Secret Police Chief of American Communism 🚨🚔
King Von Force Ghost�.. @RaceplayShawty
21K Followers 403 Following Retired Obama impersonator @marvelousdeath
Freddy @CannyExecutive
5K Followers 609 Following
Himothy McVeigh @CokeSipper
3K Followers 716 Following
Dopey The Dumbfuck @pete_irons87206
8K Followers 1K Following
Nikki Polansky @nikkifaceful
38K Followers 20K Following Former child actress. Now I try to tweet the funny on the internet. And shoes. Follow me, I swear I know what I'm doing.
My Dinner with Andre .. @SparrowAdorer
1K Followers 533 Following Glass barely bends before it cracks
joe castle baker @joecastlebaker
26K Followers 1K Following I’m gay and I love seeing gay guys cooking together on YouTube!
food safety isn't a b.. @sacrelicio
677 Followers 1K Following
julian @YEAROFTHEWIZARD
1K Followers 694 Following You're gonna feel my foot. That's the way it's gonna go down.
DeWitt B. Fartin @DeWittBFartin
5K Followers 322 Following
queen of the rodeo @watchheat1995
1K Followers 714 Following waitin around to die. alt: @nypdsleepercell
POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha.. @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
12K Followers 3K Following i can't read or count. triple threat, baybeeeeee
ROTTEN BOY 2 @deputyfuck
254 Followers 224 Following imagine me smoking a cigarette in Jacksonville Florida
ｖｅｎｋｏ @cybrevenko
32 Followers 412 Following combat jacking on the poster's battlefield. i write programs for fun and money
Pregnant Rodney @SkinnyTuna
51K Followers 1K Following being a R.E.M. fmab enby with my masc ahab ybne wife IT/ITS (not a joke) #Imrodny weeeeeeeeeeee boygrri and zerosuitcamus created me tod estroy the world it wor
hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge
18K Followers 891 Following FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME FOLLOW ME
@suicidepussy I did caused a crash between a Tesla and BMW on accident, I was distracted driving on the freeway and had to slow down abruptly, the BMW behind me then had to do the same and he was rear-ended in turn by the Tesla.
Me: IM tired of being alive! Whats the point! NO one has a crush on me! Pewdiepie: Thats not true! *blushes* Markiplier: Meep! *blushes harder* jacksepticEye: Oh for the love of potato! We all have crushes on you!
The wholesomeness of John Krasinski mixed with the chaotic energy of Ryan Reynolds is not something I knew I needed.
Finally telling our families in person this weekend that we’ve got a baby on the way who should be here around Halloween! Looks like a little kewpie doll on the ultrasound from last week.
I don’t think of myself as a bad secret-keeper, but part of me definitely doesn’t like sitting on news
I can't imagine going a day without corn syrup
People want to be congratulated for being lazy and incompetent
reminder that it’s never actually been a thing in human history for every individual person to cook
Whenever an IDF soldier posts a tiktok of them sitting on a chair they made out of toddler skeletons, someone at Twitter HQ has to run to the basement and pull on the big lever that puts the most annoying, infantile people on earth at the top of everyone's timeline
The left is so violently against disabled people’s needs every single week on here. Good luck with your movement. You’ve alienated a very large marginalized group
surprised to see so much praise for the zone of interest when simple things like the mise en scene were totally amateur. you could see trains and other setpieces in the background and even hear audio bleed from other soundstages which totally detracted from the family movie.
More than 450 Jewish creatives, executives and Hollywood professionals have signed an open letter denouncing Jonathan Glazer’s “The Zone of Interest” Oscar speech. bit.ly/43pma3T
Facehuggers being scary again is soooo awesome lfg
Alien: Romulus | Teaser Trailer youtu.be/GTNMt84KT0k?si… via @YouTube
Millennials have it bad in terms of money but they have it good in terms of getting to grow alongside the full arc of the internet in its prime. The Internet used to fuckin rule, dude. Gen Z missed all that and is ironically more technologically illiterate because of it
After seeing Jonathan Glazer's speech at the Oscars I have elected to aggressively misunderstand his movie
‘The Zone of Interest’ — a Holocaust movie without Jews – Read more from Peter Rutland here: cnn.com/2024/03/19/opi…
i was so confused when Höss found that jawbone. i was like, hey! what’s that doing there? i couldn’t understand the movie at all after that scene,
@suicidepussy Literally nothing wrong with an m wife… except she’s maybe a little old for a woman
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