Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

California, USA Joined May 2017

Tweets

108
Followers

24
Following

161
Likes

317

Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

3 years ago

My 3yo daughter just told me I look like a queen… But with a mustache. #selfesteemboost #sayitlikeitis #toddlersarejerks

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

3 years ago

My patience and thought-to-speech filter are both in retrograde with a rising FAAFO moon. #treadlightly #astrology #itisinthestars

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Caleb Wilde @CalebWilde

12 years ago

As a mortician, I always tie the shoelaces together of the dead. Cause if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, it will be hilarious.

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

4 years ago

Y’all. My 2 year old just called me “Bruh”. Please send prayers and wine. #toddlerterror #parentingishard #parentlife

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

4 years ago

RIP, my sanity. My toddler wants dinner and she’s beside herself in hysterics screaming that she’s hungry. Y’all… We are at the table eating dinner. #toddlerterror

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

4 years ago

If you enjoy listening to small humans arguing about what the color orange sounds like, you should definitely have kids.

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My husband fixed our sprinklers last night. I know that because my neighbor just stopped by to tell me one of the sprinkler heads has been hissing/leaking into his yard all day through the fence. #diyfail #adulting #whatinstructions

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

4 years ago

Listen-I’m not a perfect person or a perfect parent. But my toddler’s exclamation of, “Oh, damnit!” after dropping her cup of cheese cubes proves I’m a perfect example of what not to shout in front of your children. #followmeformoreterriblehabits #imtrying #toddlersareparrots

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

5 years ago

Me: (to my 6 year old) Hurry up in the tub. I want to go hang out with your dad for a bit tonight. My kid: Why?

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Sam Stryker @sbstryker

6 years ago

This video of brothers Andrew and Chris Cuomo fighting ON AIR about their mom’s favorite child, calling their parents, and breaking curfew growing up is better than anything Shakespeare ever wrote

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Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes

6 years ago

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

6 years ago

We had almost as much fun as @mrBobbyBones does during his work day today @ Florence Place Senior Living in Florence, SC! As soon as the Bobby Bones Show ended, we all switched gears to greet our adorable red sneaker-clad celebrity visitor, Finley, the Miniature Horse! #tmsg

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

6 years ago

We had almost as much fun as @mrBobbyBones does during his work day this morning at Florence Place Senior Living in Florence, SC! As soon as the Bobby Bones Show ended we all switched gears to greet our adorable red sneaker-clad celebrity visitor, Finley, the Miniature Horse!

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Kristin Galloway @kngrzech

7 years ago

I refuse to have a creepy elf on the shelf. I convinced my kid the dogs would eat it so she doesn’t want an elf. The kid agrees with me that it would look bad if her dogs ate the guy Santa sent to report on her. #parentingwin #elfontheshelf #parentingtips