James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9 jamesbreakwell.substack.com Indianapolis, IN Joined August 2012

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

8 months ago

Don't be jealous of my best feature. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/makeup-games

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

8 months ago

It was the only trip to a restaurant that's ever sent me into a spiral about the meeting of my entire life. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/the-conveyor…

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

8 months ago

I thought I was out of new milestones at my age, but, for the first time ever, I used my electric razor on my ears. Oh, the joys of growing up.

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

8 months ago

Nothing makes kids happier than a precisely measured competition with publicly announced winners and losers. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/spaghetti-an…

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

Here's a full explanation of the questionable decision-making that led me to taking my family out in the worst weather of the year. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/football-in-…

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

Pro tip: The best time to take your kids to their first NFL game is when tickets are super cheap because your team has already been eliminated from the playoffs and it's the middle of a blizzard.

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

Our New Year's Eve tradition is to play Rock Band together as a family. There are only two guitars but a room full of singers, especially when Journey comes on.

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

I told my wife there were rumors about a Star Trek Enterprise Lego set coming out. She just stared at me. I thought she didn't care. Then she asked if it was the Enterprise D. That's how I know she's still the one.

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

Some babies are angrier than others. This is the angriest one of all. jamesbreakwell.substack.com/p/rage-baby

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

My kids made up a game to play together. The first rule was "no hurting each other." I couldn't tell you what the other rules were. They immediately broke Rule 1.

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James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn

9 months ago

It was kind of Facebook Messenger to remind me that, on this day three years ago, my wife sent me a picture of Tupperware from the store. Truly a moment I'll treasure forever.