1up @mushroompower
I do it all. North America Joined April 2009-
Tweets927
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Followers40
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Following122
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Likes41
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The michmash diet plan-> @CodyNielsen7: You know, that's 390 calories? @michmash01: What the fuck is a calorie?
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Tap into the power of nature. @GA is giving away a trip to one of the most scenic hiking experiences on the planet: goo.gl/u5gAfB
@13spencer ummm.... You might be too late buzzfeed.com/davidmack/dick…
I'm pretty certain Diane Rehm is going to croak any minute.
I love my family dearly. But fuck i can't wait to not be home for a little bit.
You are most definitely an asshole if you say the word fuck more than three times in one sentence.
1up retweeted
"You're getting an MFA in English? Wasn't your Bachelor's useless enough for you?" -second degree burn
Theories are the best 'cause they are always right until proven wrong.
@michmash01 Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me (Album Version): youtu.be/AgSF350_BI0 via @YouTube
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I've got half a mind to slap your fat face. The other half is for finger painting and stuff.
1up retweeted
Oh maaaan, this wine bottle is all out of the wine!
Shit... I might be stupid, but at least I aint got no money!
If you are writing 'swag' in the bathroom stall, you don't have swag.
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Why does my mustard bottle insist on peeing in my sandwich before dispensing my mustard?
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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If you've never had to apologize to complete strangers about my behavior then we've obviously never drank together.
1up retweeted
Inches? Shit, I measure my dick in Comcast® remotes.
Eric Parrish 🏳️�... @prince_bge
180 Followers 2K Following he/him/his, director, singer/actor, educator, union member, gay, voter, Christian, son, uncle, @Gustavus and @UNC_Colorado grad
Ashley @ashley_faye3
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Cate-monster 5000 @CateMonsterroar
192 Followers 850 Following I'm a creative being. Accidentally passionate, completely ridiculous. I have no concept of time, just ask anyone who's seen me NOT wait for cookies to cool.
jay Hernandez @jaynandez_daddy
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Virulent Regime @VirulentRegime
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technicolor dreams @notdys167
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egokiller @egokiller
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Kirstie Garrison @always_kirstie
852 Followers 1K Following Co-host of @beyondserious, WWE fan. Likes puppies, trashy reality shows, and junk food. I'm that chick that drunk dialed you that one time.
PEPE BULDAK SUPPORT T... @Soloaxcytokenz
146 Followers 983 Following World's First "Offline Realization Memecoin" Project. Anyone can start "Buldak Franchise" by just https://t.co/ciYqAGtLtp...
your dad @dixinormus10
7K Followers 6K Following The friendliest asshole you'll ever meet. Father of 3 daughters who are trying to kill me. No fucking pants.
STARVING @Kyoketsu_Shoge
10K Followers 9K Following Fuck Twitter. Something like Punk. Words pop from my head like a toaster. Don't waste time giving them more meaning than I do. I tweet to kill time. That's it.
Monstrum ❤️ $BLOC... @pingismonstra
12K Followers 14K Following #nft #nftartist #nftcollector #crypto $portal @Portalcoin
Brian O'Sullivan @osullivanauthor
98K Followers 93K Following Author of the Amazon bestselling novels CLUSTERF*CK and THE BARTENDER! All 16 of my novels are available on Amazon. Hope you’ll give them a shot :)
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i Like Weed Daily @i_LikeWeedDaily
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The Alicianater @leechee420
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post nasal droll @alldrolledup
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334 Followers 680 Following She is clothed in strength and dignity, and will laugh at days to come
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233 Followers 634 Following After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Snapchat; shoeconverse
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Alexander Lohr @AlexWithSpikes
2K Followers 2K Following -Fittest Dad on the Playground- Partnerships @hoka 🕊️ Former:Air Force ✈️. opinions do not reflect my employer”
Cate-monster @CateyStar
294 Followers 1K Following I'm a creative being. I live larger than I am. I speak louder than I ought to. I only sleep when I have to and enjoy all things coffee flavored.
Carmen Toft @carmentoft
911 Followers 1K Following "I've appointed myself in charge of morale." Board member @ImmunizeSD. Co-founder of @LEADSouthDakota. #HealthCareVoter 🥥🌴
Becca Erickson @Becca_May3
98 Followers 178 Following
Appassionato @WeEnjoySoup
451 Followers 546 Following Musician, teacher, scholar, lover of children & intelligent conversation, at best. Lost in my own mind, at worst. That is all.
kara dumke @dumbkey
64 Followers 158 Following
The Best Vines @TheBestVinesY
328 Followers 31 Following Love comes in all forms, shapes, sizes & tongues ~ Love is love! ♥ :)
First Date Questions @firstdateqs
46K Followers 0 Following The truly important questions to ask on a first date. (By @MattBellassai for @YrBFF)
harold @haroldintech
2K Followers 287 Following Sr. Software Engineer @Netflix. Previously @Google and @Microsoft. 🇵🇷🏳️🌈 ADHD/Dyslexic. Life is all about perpetually learning to live.
N0!@N @n_leehy
172 Followers 459 Following
Leon from Mathclass @LeonEarlgrey
10K Followers 5K Following here's the deal. if you like terrible puns, dad jokes and wasted twitter humor you will follow me. it's where I get all my self worth. please advise.
Hassan Ishan 🇲🇻 @seefromthesky
42K Followers 7K Following I love to create and share the beauty around and get involved in issues faced by community | Living in Maldives 🇲🇻🎥🏝️ . لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله
KangaRufio @Topangaroo
25K Followers 19K Following Do you ever wonder why your life is so hard, and then you're like "Oh, that's right. I'm an idiot"?
andy motett @motett
12K Followers 12K Following Keys player. Inthemoment, improv, hooknmelody adventures https://t.co/RhvoMqoCL2 https://t.co/qkgnbgtVtp https://t.co/ZK6dXRmNaS
Daniel Plainview @10InchesPlus
16K Followers 5K Following Generic-equivalent of a real Twitter account
egokiller @egokiller
2K Followers 3K Following Rec breakin UK JAMBAND - Guest BBC DJ's, 57 singles + Album in 1 year 4 Big issue in the North, Shelter, Crisis. We NOT Left/Right -We common sense Anti-fascist
technicolor dreams @notdys167
523 Followers 702 Following I accidentally strangled myself while trying to tie my shoes, so now autocorrect writes my tweets.
✌ IDestroy_ENT ✌ @iDestroy_Ent
20K Followers 22K Following
your dad @dixinormus10
7K Followers 6K Following The friendliest asshole you'll ever meet. Father of 3 daughters who are trying to kill me. No fucking pants.
TheRealBoiledEgg @TheRealBoiledEG
3K Followers 3K Following My thigh gap is slightly above my cankles. http://t.co/djfN36pntU
GINGERATLAW @GingerAtLaw
13K Followers 9K Following now everywhere is loneliness and it’s in everything
Gezahegn Negash @nuthima
11K Followers 10K Following
STARVING @Kyoketsu_Shoge
10K Followers 9K Following Fuck Twitter. Something like Punk. Words pop from my head like a toaster. Don't waste time giving them more meaning than I do. I tweet to kill time. That's it.
Middle Class Problem @middleclassprob
28K Followers 2K Following Real problems but not real actual problems, just middle class ones. The Middle Class Problems book is OUT NOW
Upper Middle Trash @UpprMiddleTrash
2K Followers 143 Following The only thing stopping me from being pure white trash is my lack of motivation.
Monstrum ❤️ $BLOC... @pingismonstra
12K Followers 14K Following #nft #nftartist #nftcollector #crypto $portal @Portalcoin
Kirstie Garrison @always_kirstie
852 Followers 1K Following Co-host of @beyondserious, WWE fan. Likes puppies, trashy reality shows, and junk food. I'm that chick that drunk dialed you that one time.
Brian O'Sullivan @osullivanauthor
98K Followers 93K Following Author of the Amazon bestselling novels CLUSTERF*CK and THE BARTENDER! All 16 of my novels are available on Amazon. Hope you’ll give them a shot :)
Schmuck Dynasty @collinoeight
2K Followers 2K Following Doctor. Genius. Hero. Comedian. Ladies man. Compulsive Liar. http://t.co/9UWIWNYGOY
i Like Weed Daily @i_LikeWeedDaily
6K Followers 5K Following You like weed, I like weed, we all like weed daily. #TheLoveOfBud Break it up, roll it up, light it up. #StonerFam
Tyga @tygasarmyuk
6K Followers 5K Following
Jade Joseph @itsjadejoseph
11K Followers 600 Following Let's create our most fulfilling lives together✨ mostly on IG / Threads / TikTok / Blue Sky as @jadejosephwrites - You are not alone💖
The Alicianater @leechee420
14K Followers 4K Following Beard connoisseur. I once used the word whom correctly in a sentence. @LuckoftheDraw86 is the Jack to my Coke.
Will Rodgers @xWILLRODGERSx
134K Followers 16K Following From Comic to CEO; Turning laughs into leadership, Building businesses with the same passion that once filled the stage FAITH-FAMILY-FITNESS
Joel Jeffrey @joeljeffrey
14K Followers 3K Following 6"2', 200lbs, misshapen head, beautiful skin. https://t.co/V6a78Mvhgc
James Breakwell, Expl... @XplodingUnicorn
854K Followers 760 Following Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9
The Invisible King �... @OutGrindU
213 Followers 177 Following Life aint fair only reason you should be looking in someone elses bowl, is to see if they have enough to eat. If it dont touch my soul I cant listen to it. ❤️🐾
Deanna Carlyle @deannacarlyle_
24K Followers 23K Following Screenwriter, award-winning novelist, and #INFJ. TV comedy & mystery credits overseas.
Spencer @13spencer
7K Followers 725 Following I play music in Black Market Heart and Into The Valley of Death, sometimes I sleep.
Maisy Millar @MaisyMillarTV
22K Followers 21K Following The REAL synthetic girl. Unpacking and dismantling pop culture and vintage cinema through a satirical lens. 🍸 🎬 Full episodes on YouTube 👇
Loki @loki_god_of_fun
9K Followers 3 Following re my parking ticket I would like to invoke trial by combat please (all tweets are from a butt fone) I am the highest paid sperm donor in America after Donald.
DemonDastardly @mydmac
63K Followers 1K Following My tweets are my own, unless it’s a common ass phrase or cliche, ya moron -Memento Mori https://t.co/1xSHeAgHMT
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