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myr @myracles

wannabe nerd | pretty princess | internet addict yummyr.tumblr.com jumping in the air Joined September 2008
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myr @myracles

7 years ago

Air quality is down to 66, thanks to me ordering a case of masks online that won't be here until tomorrow. You're welcome, Seattle.

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myr @myracles

7 years ago

Moana, but with cats.

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myr @myracles

7 years ago

Me (getting ready to run down to the condo garage): Hold on I'm putting on a hoodie; I'm not wearing a bra. 4 y.o: Just walk like a grandma. Grandmas don't wear bras.

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myr @myracles

7 years ago

4 y.o.: Mommy, that lady wants money. Me: Yeah, I'm sorry but I don't have any money on me. 4: Then why don't you get your own sign?!

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myr @myracles

7 years ago

Fly in my juice: dump it out. Fly in my wine: drink around it.

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myr @myracles

9 years ago

Laundry is like a good steak: it needs to rest for a week out of the dryer before being put away. Pretty sure I'm making steaks wrong.

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myr @myracles

10 years ago

B: Sometimes I think about our son and I want to cry Me: That's so sweet! What about me? B: Every time I think about you I wanna cry *punch*

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

How exactly does one get ready for this jelly? Peanut butter?

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Necessity is the mother of invention because it nags at you until you do it.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

If you didn't spend all your money on sharpies and cardboard, you wouldn't 'need $20 to go home', homeless dude.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Sorry I'm late. Murphy's Law woke me up by punching me in the face.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

I get that this building has no accessible staircase but I will still stare you down when you press 1 anyhow. Assface.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Centipede. Millipede. Bajillapede.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

I just noticed LMFAO doesn't say 'hooray!' in *I'm sexy and I know it*. Not even once. He must not really want to show it.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

I put my work pass in the front of my skirt so now I unlock the doors with a thrust of my hips. Yes I'm proud of myself.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Someone just called me Pamela and I didn't correct her. I guess my name is Pamela, now.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Zynga's new game: Taking a Shit With Friends.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Dear people who walk really slowly: explain yourselves.

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

YOUR FOOD IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD!

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myr @myracles

13 years ago

Between my keys jingling when I walk and my flip-flops, this is the worst song ever.

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