slim pickins @old_clockwise
trying his best Joined October 2016-
Tweets928
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Following118
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Likes7K
slim pickins retweeted
friend: yeah man you can have the aux but don't play that fucking spngebob band again the playlist I cued up:
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slim pickins retweeted
she will hear from me tonight
slim pickins retweeted
oh my goodness gracious........
oh my goodness gracious........
slim pickins retweeted
Gn moots
slim pickins retweeted
Need drunk discourse with a lesbian or I’m going home
slim pickins retweeted
The people on money should be mascots made up just for the money. Mr. 100
slim pickins retweeted
shooting the shit with the contractor on site today, he was like “Yeah clients decided to swap to a steel hearth at the fireplace, it’s gonna look super slick man” and i was like “Steel huh isn’t that gonna get really hot” and he froze for like ten seconds & whipped out his phone
slim pickins retweeted
Kash Patel every time a crime happens: “Have you checked the bullets? There’s probably an engraving on it. Yep there it is! They used the bullet as their diary!”
slim pickins retweeted
r/bedbugs is awesome because every post is a picture of a bedbug captioned "is this a bedbug?" And 200 replies saying "you're fucked"
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Bitcoin? Yeah I wanted to make sure it was real
slim pickins retweeted
I would love to watch a cop drama style tv show about OSHA investigators piecing together how horrible workplace accidents happened and sometimes they get into a shootout with the employers
slim pickins retweeted
could not have fucked this one up worse if i tried
slim pickins retweeted
The prequels should have had at least 90 more minutes of the battle droids chilling / having fun
slim pickins retweeted
Grok! “Green m&m shpreadin it for me” At once!
slim pickins retweeted
there’s an ambiguously southern accented voice in my head telling me to git. go on, it tells me
slim pickins retweeted
CVS gotta be the worst place to do commerce
slim pickins retweeted
my stepdad got me mucinex for my birthday and nothing else
slim pickins retweeted
your farts deadass aren’t even funny bro you’re stinking up my honda
slim pickins retweeted
This is Sirhan Sirhan's fault. Now RFK Jr. is scared of shots forever.
slim pickins retweeted
love being an uncle. u can just tell them anything. yo little man. if u flip a light switch enough times it gives you $1
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