carter hambley @carterhambley
comedian. writer. full of shrapnel instagram.com/carterhambley?… los angeles Joined July 2015-
Tweets8K
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Followers107K
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Following1K
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Likes98K
i will go anywhere if a pretty girl asks me. its tuesday afternoon why am i smiling at the dojo
worst part about my car getting stolen is i cant stop muttering shit like “we will rebuild”
hate seeing a child on horseback like how did u two even meet
guy who stole my kia soul i hope u never feel fulfilled creatively
workin late with my tutor tonight. he’s holding up flashcards of chappell roan remi wolf and sabrina carpenter and shocking my balls when i get them wrong
me, my boyfriend and our male mutual friend trying to figure out how to see challengers
woke up during surgery and the doctors were huddled up watching porn on my phone
u ever tar and feather a guy and realize ur out of feathers so u just give it to him straight and say listen buddy. gonna be mostly tar today
im in a Challengers situation with a 80 yr old barber and a piglet
fell asleep first at the sleepover and everybody took sharpies and marked all the plastic surgery i need
whenever im on a date and it gets quiet i just point at a building and say “thats my ancestral home”
@carterhambley add these to ur records.
1st Annual Imitation Crab Boil was a massive success until that shootout with the FDA
it’s so fucked that i have to work 3 separate food service jobs just to cover my 12 bodyguards
the doctors are once again pumping my stomach out of jealousy
An amazing new friend just texted me some of the best news ever
im the guy who pulls bodies out of the river, and ive noticed a startling pattern: they are all wet and gross
Will Sennett @Senn_Spud
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jon drake @DrakeGatsby
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Natalie @jbfan911
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Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 979 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
zane @Zabrams6
3 Followers 123 Following I created this account as a challenge to all other that share the same name as me.
chelsea at €VA*🦋 @exmouseketeer
125 Followers 576 Following they call me dagger, chelsea, queen, teenage dirtbag, dream machine, pirate, thief, and worst of all, the scum of the scene, who had a great fall
Dan Griffin @dancgriffin
54 Followers 246 Following Orthopaedic Surgery Resident at Georgetown University. Former Healthcare Banker. Scrolling past the health policy tweets to see where to eat and drink in DC.
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Reidddddd @ReidLuedecke
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Drunk Cigarette @threefaceted
76 Followers 186 Following the one o o one o one one cunt the two one two the cunty one
existentialcrisisboy2.. @ethelcainscooch
57 Followers 166 Following my existence is a tragedy, and these curated retweets are rather testimony to it.
Grateful Goose Gizzar.. @WaltonsJoint
990 Followers 2K Following Brett • Do you like Goose? • Gluten Intolerance Sufferer • Pretentious Movie Enjoyer • Disciple of Trevor Lawrence • Tall people GANG
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itzel @abusivehamster
9 Followers 77 Following I can't promise to make you laugh, but I can promise to confuse you. Meow! 😸
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Snuggler ☺️ @danksnugs
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evan thomas @Pinmis505
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JJ @TXPL432
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🐒 Stephen 🐒 @Tarzan_Stan_
281 Followers 1K Following Climbing Trees & Trading Commodities https://t.co/7iT2bbfHv8
Will Sennett @Senn_Spud
115K Followers 1K Following the warrior in the garden @pod197424 / @CloserLookPod
charlie @chunkbardey
101K Followers 909 Following here for a good time and a long time. ultimately a comedian. is this helping??? i have a podcast called @ExplorationLive
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
Natalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 711 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/her
Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad
56K Followers 2K Following When all else fails, all roads lead back to margaritaville. Cohost of @MinorBreakdown. the blue check is for ad rev, I hate Elon
Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmi.. @GKuhlenschmidt
163K Followers 1K Following straight lesbian comedian. she/her,,, [email protected]
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25
coolgirlonline @coolgirl0nline
32K Followers 212 Following vince vaughn appreciator . 🐸JIMMY AND BABY🐸 new cartoon out now! 👇
Zach Zimmerman @zzdoublezz
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36K Followers 199 Following
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17K Followers 457 Following Firm believer that reality died with Kobe… Podcasts: Hate Watch with Devan Costa and @lemonpartyshow https://t.co/6FVGzVKxKA
Gabrielle Williott @grabbyelle
4K Followers 962 Following amazing father figure | executive producer at cracked
Currently on Criterio.. @Criterion247
4K Followers 6 Following Featuring what is currently playing on the Criterion 24/7 feature on The Criterion Channel | run by @Liam_The_Nerd & @AveryEvening
RJ Palmer @arvalis
190K Followers 5K Following Concept Artist | Past: Ubisoft, Detective Pikachu | Paleoartist | Server https://t.co/iFk5cVuLzF | [email protected] | he/him | Store: https://t.co/enwDabPDkC
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4K Followers 187 Following 23 she/her full time stinker - 18+ content ONLY in bio - tips appreciated 🧝🏼♀️ $morgiarco
Maddie @Madd_dogW
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priscilla page @BBW_BFF
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shayIa 🗡 @bog_VVitch
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linus 🎞🛸 @linusnhiscamera
54K Followers 996 Following los angeles based photographer. lighting by me, always shot on film
sarahbennett.pdf @sarahbastard69
2K Followers 579 Following writer....lover. bastard. highly skilled in many ways...
her @horny4hooters
9K Followers 969 Following ｡ﾟ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ❁ུ۪ ❃ུ۪ ❀ུ۪ ﾟ｡ | cashapp $bpimayor | @bpialt
suburban cutie @blatherwhick
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Melissa’s World �.. @meliss_anne2
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47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
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baby g @higirlsaysbruh
4K Followers 1K Following u may be in first and I may be in coach, but ur a saltine and I’m a brioche.
Jason Pargin, author .. @JasonKPargin
59K Followers 1K Following Author of John Dies at the End & the Zoey Ashe series. Former Editor at https://t.co/rPxhhz6fP4, now: https://t.co/rHIoNS0xCv
Fench fries with just a liiiiittle bit of butter 😋
Can't really imagine a Laufey concert. That is a woman meant to sing in the highly exclusive jazz bar she owns as she makes her way through an audience that is wholly and deeply in love with her
when I ask you as a customer how are you please don’t be honest. what do you mean “c plus” I’ve been thinking about that for six hours now
I’m sick of your shit ziggy
ZIGGY 2024 Tom Wilson 4-26
ralphing is sooo by far the best word for throwing up. so vague yet so descriptive
What do we think boys
Got a haircut appointment at JC Penney’s tomorrow. If you haven’t yet, follow my page to stay in the loop.
Had a dream last night that I was telling Josh Hartnett how genuinely excited I was for Trap, and not just bc of him. Waking up was pain
I went to Balls Ferry and everyone knew you
ok i met him on the street today and can confirm he’s an absolute chiller. fully buzzing off it now. wow
finally managed to find a copy of the daniel arnold book it is as good as everyone says
we need to shame people who leave the house with only apple pay to get them by that amount of hubris needs to be eliminated
he saw Challengers and knew he had to lock in
Tom Holland and Zendaya are reportedly planning marriage. (Via: people.com/zendaya-tom-ho…)
The criterion closet is so beautiful. To see filmmakers reclaim as a space of prestige, honor even, the locker that normal kids shoved them into
So exciting that CHALLENGERS Fever has woken everyone up to the truth some of us could see this whole time: 2018 SUSPIRIA is good actually
What the hell are you talking about
@MeganBitchell pitch a series where you are in San Antonio , Tx and you gain 20 lbs per episode thru season 1. other actresses would be scard (julia louis dreyfuss to name one example) not that ur not humorous now : but in the finale where you're 310lbs....... this is a great idea
Stopped to see if this sad road casualty was ringed, assuming it was dead. Happily not - seemed stunned with no sign of external injuries. Placed it in a nearby tree in the hope of recovery. Will call back later to check🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Okay no more mustaches. You’re all abusing the system. We’re done with mustaches until we can figure out what’s going on.
Now THAT is an establishing shot; I’ll tell you what
i need you to clarify what exactly you think color grading is
whatever happened to colour grading
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