Pete Jacokes @petejacokes
Stuff and Things Joined September 2008-
Tweets9K
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Followers662
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Following397
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Likes12K
Madam Web was so spectacularly bad it actually killed my Tv...
I have never, in my life, met a human being who has as much trouble drinking water, as my child. It's... It's... Yeah.
Psychologists have now discovered what causes homophobia It's 'being a moron'
According to the Ferndale School District? Suzan M. Jacokes and I have been seperated since 2021. Thank you retroactively for your thoughts and prayers during this apparent dark time.
I cannot properly express how excited I am for this show! See y'all July 7th at 9:30. SIDE NOTE: You do NOT need to have seen the first one to get this show. We're just creative with titles.
This kid's justification for why she chose what we would watch on Tv tonight: "I'm just so tired watching the same thing over and over again. So I picked this." What did she pick? The Netflix show "Is it Cake?" THE SHOW SHE HAS BEEN WATCHING NON-STOP FOR THREE WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Trump did nothing wrong. And if he did do something wrong it wasn’t illegal. And if it was illegal, it’s not something people are usually prosecuted for. And if it is something that people are usually prosecuted for, a former president still shouldn’t be prosecuted for it.
I tell ya what? The unique experience of your face constantly changing shape? Not a fan. 0 stars.
After trying to make my kid laugh: Me: Hey kiddo? Just so I know? At what level are you ignoring me, right now? Like at a hard 10? Or a laid back 2? Her: How about 1000..? ... ... No, I'm kidding. Probably just a 5.
Kiddo is working on a project. This is her first slide.
Didn't have "Get my life threatened, by a drunk" on my weekend Bingo card.
Driving home from school today: Her: Dad! I had 5 tests today! No! 6! No! 5! Me: Was one of those tests "my patience?" Because you're currently failing. Total silence. Her: Dad, see the difference is, when I tell a joke, it's ACTUALLY funny.
Thank you @JamesGunn. The holiday special, was everything I hoped for.
bergs @aseriousmang
946 Followers 664 Following ceo at my own boss. member of whatever the opposite of mensa is. coiner of phrase “what if mcdonalds had beer”
Jess Kay @JessLoriaKay
569 Followers 1K Following IVF mama // Twin mama // PPH/Hysterectomy survivor // Also I wrote a book of porn about US presidents. She/Her.
Garrett Fuller @GarrettDFuller
863 Followers 680 Following Detroit. Looking to buy Dee Jay's car from Hustle & Flow.
Jenny Haddo @totallyjenny15
572 Followers 747 Following I'm so happy they found me. Love is all around me. #Iamن
Margaret Edwartowski @MargTowski
529 Followers 701 Following Used to be funny for money. Now I do it for free. You’re welcome. Opinions are mine.
Tim K @timothyjkay
632 Followers 532 Following Writer. Director. Producer. History nerd. Dad to two cool dudes.
Jaime Moyer @Jaime_Moyer
4K Followers 924 Following *actress* *writer* *improviser* *Bob’s Burgers* *AP Bio* *Modern Family* *KC Undercover* *Great North* *naps* *love em* *like, with the window open?* *so good*
Devin Jetski @DevinRosni
2K Followers 590 Following simply having a wonderful christmas time. Daft Punk Podcast: https://t.co/tAJyIRol5W Music: https://t.co/sK3LqIfkgZ Comedy: @planetantdet @mcsweeneys @reductress @splitsider
Lorin Kozlowski @Cassidy2099
1K Followers 2K Following Watch DRUG WAR, listen to @roachkoach; self appointed Dean of Nu-Metal. Abolish ICE. Get a life.
Andy, the one from Pl.. @andy_enthusiast
201 Followers 134 Following Dance until your physical self becomes the instrument that renews the spiritual | co-host of ALIVE: A Daft Punk Podcast | local comedy/house music/theater
My Neighbors Are Dead @mydeadneighbors
2K Followers 5K Following Comedy #podcast interviewing the lesser known characters from your fav horror films As seen in Vulture, WIRED, AV Club, The Guardian @adampeacock13 @natedufort
Jenny Bloomer @jennybloomer
896 Followers 829 Following A person. Nu-Metal Canon-er @roachkoach she/they
Dez Walker @Dez_Walker
2K Followers 1K Following Born and raised in Detroit. There's no south Detroit btw. I love life, I have fun with it. Relax, it's just Twitter. Homer to state of Michigan sports. #GoBlue
Larry Joe Campbell @LarryJoeCampbel
6K Followers 2K Following Husband, dad of 5, friend, Football Coach. Actor: According to Jim, Hall Pass, The Orville. Lions/Red Wings fan, CMU/WSU alum.
Leanna Swire @lea_swi
67 Followers 5K Following
Gianna Ram @GiannaRam256689
70 Followers 5K Following
Sabrina Tamer @TamerSabri10986
45 Followers 5K Following
Therese Abate @theres_aba
65 Followers 5K Following
Florence Wilshire @FWilshire48958
88 Followers 5K Following
Tristan Canupp @CanuTris
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Bluebell Inhulsen @BluebellIn69467
90 Followers 5K Following
Kylie Bambace @KyliBambac
34 Followers 5K Following
Amber Giannakopoulo @AmbGiannakopou
42 Followers 5K Following
Leia Corbelli @CorbelLei
66 Followers 5K Following
Shanti Elion @ElionShant
40 Followers 5K Following
Lovetta Outzen @LovettaOut76220
76 Followers 5K Following
thanh @thanh756065
550 Followers 4K Following
Breagha Dautrich @DautricBrea
46 Followers 5K Following
Hannah-leigh Turnbow @leigh_turn29584
80 Followers 5K Following
Hali Barriere @BarriereHa18890
51 Followers 5K Following
Ronnie Brunswick @BrunswiRonni
60 Followers 5K Following
Lera Lerow @LeraLerow5488
77 Followers 5K Following
Clelia Julye @clel_jul
43 Followers 5K Following
Ludie Genzel @GenzelLudi24621
96 Followers 5K Following
Nikola Jolie @JolieNikol
18 Followers 2K Following
Jess Porteus @JePorteu
91 Followers 5K Following
Ali Jefferys @JefferysAl47383
42 Followers 5K Following
Marcene Rodde @marce_rodd
81 Followers 5K Following
Rolanda Roner @ron_rolan
49 Followers 5K Following
Roseanna Linkous @LinkouRoseann
35 Followers 5K Following
Mabel Briney @BrineyMab
60 Followers 5K Following
Larissa Kemmler @LKemml
36 Followers 5K Following
Joury Otutaha @otutaha56426
59 Followers 5K Following
Marissa Macintyre @MarissaMac4370
57 Followers 5K Following
Xiomara Kimmer @XiomaKimm
48 Followers 5K Following
Jacqueline Buckwalter @Jacqueline80985
90 Followers 5K Following
Michaela Osaki @michae_osak
75 Followers 5K Following
Jeri Feron @feron_fe
58 Followers 5K Following
Loise Cranmer @LoisCranm
68 Followers 5K Following
Annis Beseau @a_besea
87 Followers 5K Following
adpsaon8gfme @aon8gf57049ybx
37 Followers 1K Following Awesome, you can earn 500-5000 usdt every day here, join now telegram:https://t.co/qPnXw0g0Tv
Elyse Sahm @ElyseSahm55604
43 Followers 5K Following
Avah Hoy @AvahH46810
46 Followers 5K Following
Michael Manganaro @ManganarMichae
69 Followers 5K Following
Dannielle Reichardt @DannielleR61880
92 Followers 5K Following
Renee Norr @rene_norr
34 Followers 5K Following
Clemencia Homewood @ClemencHomewo
50 Followers 5K Following
Layla Lonero @LLonero27383
75 Followers 5K Following
Caitlin Benhaim @CaitBenha
41 Followers 5K Following
bergs @aseriousmang
946 Followers 664 Following ceo at my own boss. member of whatever the opposite of mensa is. coiner of phrase “what if mcdonalds had beer”
Jess Kay @JessLoriaKay
569 Followers 1K Following IVF mama // Twin mama // PPH/Hysterectomy survivor // Also I wrote a book of porn about US presidents. She/Her.
Garrett Fuller @GarrettDFuller
863 Followers 680 Following Detroit. Looking to buy Dee Jay's car from Hustle & Flow.
Jenny Haddo @totallyjenny15
572 Followers 747 Following I'm so happy they found me. Love is all around me. #Iamن
Margaret Edwartowski @MargTowski
529 Followers 701 Following Used to be funny for money. Now I do it for free. You’re welcome. Opinions are mine.
Tim K @timothyjkay
632 Followers 532 Following Writer. Director. Producer. History nerd. Dad to two cool dudes.
Jaime Moyer @Jaime_Moyer
4K Followers 924 Following *actress* *writer* *improviser* *Bob’s Burgers* *AP Bio* *Modern Family* *KC Undercover* *Great North* *naps* *love em* *like, with the window open?* *so good*
Devin Jetski @DevinRosni
2K Followers 590 Following simply having a wonderful christmas time. Daft Punk Podcast: https://t.co/tAJyIRol5W Music: https://t.co/sK3LqIfkgZ Comedy: @planetantdet @mcsweeneys @reductress @splitsider
My Neighbors Are Dead @mydeadneighbors
2K Followers 5K Following Comedy #podcast interviewing the lesser known characters from your fav horror films As seen in Vulture, WIRED, AV Club, The Guardian @adampeacock13 @natedufort
Jenny Bloomer @jennybloomer
896 Followers 829 Following A person. Nu-Metal Canon-er @roachkoach she/they
Dez Walker @Dez_Walker
2K Followers 1K Following Born and raised in Detroit. There's no south Detroit btw. I love life, I have fun with it. Relax, it's just Twitter. Homer to state of Michigan sports. #GoBlue
Larry Joe Campbell @LarryJoeCampbel
6K Followers 2K Following Husband, dad of 5, friend, Football Coach. Actor: According to Jim, Hall Pass, The Orville. Lions/Red Wings fan, CMU/WSU alum.
daniel @sirjacksonIV
389 Followers 401 Following Yes, hello? is this the number for my local dollar general?
Matt Naas (Gnawcx) @MattNaas
2K Followers 2K Following Dad, Husband, Podcaster, Improviser and Veefriend/ABS/GFC/Fame Lady/Lucky Maneki/Dapper Dino Fan. How can I help you? (Gnawcx on Discord) WAGMI
Dana Quercioli 🏳�.. @DtoTheQ
2K Followers 1K Following IMPROV LEGEND. @thosewhoaunt podcast. 🇮🇹🏳️🌈 she/her![A podcast where @cassidy2099, @jennybloomer, and @mattnaas create a Nu-Metal Canon, one album at a time. Listen on iTunes. [Email: RoachKoachPodcast at Gmail]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/748358001669484545/jMExapMq.jpg)
Яoach Koach Podcast @roachkoach
798 Followers 546 Following A podcast where @cassidy2099, @jennybloomer, and @mattnaas create a Nu-Metal Canon, one album at a time. Listen on iTunes. [Email: RoachKoachPodcast at Gmail]
Princess @Polish7Princess
44K Followers 1 Following Come get lost in my world 😈 😏🔞 the link you want https://t.co/WBr8kGrvtG
Monkey D. Mo 👾 @KoumoriMo
70K Followers 876 Following Perpetual loser 🔞https://t.co/1qeooiXpUS 🔞@KoumoriMo2
Marshall Mathers @Eminem
22.2M Followers 0 Following
yvette nicole brown @YNB
513K Followers 4K Following Caregiver. 💖💚 Emmy nominated💫 Spoutible & Bluesky: @YNB Post: @TheYNB Mastadon: @[email protected] IG & Threads: @yvettenicolebrown
Ken Jeong @kenjeong
984K Followers 4K Following @maskedsingerfox Soundtrack Of My Life Night is 5/1! Catch up on previous episodes and seasons on @hulu!
Roux @rouxrouxxx
186K Followers 34 Following nyc ♡ natural redhead ♡ Top .03% 🌶️ I respond to dms on my onlyfans:)
Brian O'Halloran 💙 @BrianCOHalloran
40K Followers 3K Following The Official Twitter Page of @SAGAFTRA Actor-Producer from some films with a cult following. Host of the @TheOHalloRant Convention Booking thru @zscentertain
𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐑.. @LovelyNoraOF
941 Followers 216 Following 🍑ʙᴀᴄᴋᴜᴘ ᴀᴄᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ🍑 🆓ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ 7 ᴅᴀʏꜱ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴀᴄᴄᴇꜱꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴍʏ ᴏꜰ 🔞 ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʙᴇʟᴏᴡ👇
Kate Holmes @RecycleRex
468 Followers 600 Following Writer | Comedian | Also Tired | Producer @DWCFest
Patty Rooney @PROONS
275 Followers 691 Following Detroit-ish. Writer/Filmmaker. Trying to get some Z's, P's & Q's, & some LOLz. Instagram: pattyrooney
Midlife Chrysalis @PjJacokes
164 Followers 628 Following NEW ACCOUNT! all of the Pj. none of the NFTs
Mr. Bob Odenkirk @mrbobodenkirk
1.2M Followers 84 Following Mr. Show, Better Call Saul, Nobody, then there's this, my favoritest thing: ZILOT, a book of silly poems I writ with my kids. OCTOBER 10 in stores for all!!
✨Jenna Madison✨ @didshereallyomg
114K Followers 349 Following THIS IS MY ONLY ACCOUNT! don’t get scammed!! subscribe to my 🌶️ site for all of my content 💞 I DO IT ALL ON THERE 😛
Andy Serkis @andyserkis
269K Followers 115 Following Virtually Actor. Definitely Father. Mostly Imagineer.
Christopher Lloyd @DocBrownLloyd
428K Followers 72 Following Welcome to the official Twitter account for Christopher Lloyd, run by the family.
Kevin Bacon @kevinbacon
917K Followers 234 Following Trying to do what I can with what I’ve got @SixDegreesofKB
abby govindan @abbygov
179K Followers 1K Following mgmt: [email protected] personal:agovindan97@gmail | i reply to DMs on passes | #sagstrong
Cary Elwes @Cary_Elwes
243K Followers 3K Following “No one is free until we are all free.” ~ Fannie Lou Hamer Igram: caryelwes
diego luna @diegoluna_
2.7M Followers 1K Following Nací en México... Siempre dije que no entraría en Twitter y aquí estoy...
Ur Secret Mom @ursecretmum
205K Followers 60 Following We can keep this between me and you :) https://t.co/C915c4p6Fe
The Motivated Creator @motivatecreate_
57 Followers 110 Following Nancy Hayden is a creativity coach who helps people connect with the pure joy of creating. Making what YOU love is the key to happiness and success.
William Shatner @WilliamShatner
2.5M Followers 578 Following Father to 3 women. Canadian *NOT POLITICAL* be warned or be blocked! Calendar: https://t.co/4Jwy1dww25 Charity: https://t.co/HmIzHkPLvx No Podcasts! https://t.co/82IXIOYEVo
Erik Voss @eavoss
141K Followers 231 Following Film analyzer, co-host, and Head of Content for @NewRockstars on YouTube. I didn’t find Mephisto… He found me.
Frank Oz @TheFrankOzJam
134K Followers 69 Following Director of a dozen feature films. Theater director. Yoda performer. Years ago was with The Muppets.
David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111
1.2M Followers 3K Following President- Leaders We Deserve. A March For Our Lives founder and board member. Text JOIN to 954-954. [email protected]
Miles Teller @Miles_Teller
692K Followers 541 Following “You do not merely want to be considered just the best of the best, you want to be considered the only ones who do what you do." Jerry Garcia
Toks Olagundoye @ToksOlagundoye
15K Followers 984 Following Actor. #FatalAttraction #Arcane #BeavisAndButthead #TheRookie #DuckTales #Castle #CarmenSanDiego #VEEP #BigShot #TheNeighbors Usually running after my toddler💋He could’ve just not said anything
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson says he won't endorse Joe Biden in 2024, after he backed him in 2020.
Super fun night watching our hometown heroes tearing it up. From seeing these guys at their beginning to walking out on the Fox stage was wild. Also, we got to hear the April in the D song live.
An ITYSL live show in Detroit, after a Tigers win on opening day at home, on a FRI DAY NITE. If you’re in the D for this and going to the show, you’re truly blessed. Enjoy.
I made this graphic and it took me a good 45 minutes and I’m still learning and messing with photoshop and stuff but I’m sure you’re gonna see better tweets today from MGM casino or whatever least you could do is retweet it but I’m not gonna beg you on this trash app I’m a HUMAN
HONORED TO HAVE TWO ICONIC DETROIT BRANDS MERGE AS ONE. 🤘🏻🐙🤘🏻
Hell of a year for the Lions. Nothing to be ashamed of but take the points for the love of god. Stefanski I hope you were watching! #LionsPride #Browns
Once again, our state lopped off the map. Michigan Versus Everybody.
Gronk actually doesn’t own a home. He just goes to a new TV commercial set each day and acts silly til he falls asleep for 8 hours.
It is complete! My wall of @michigandaily covers commemorating this incredible @UMichFootball run: 1-3. Three unforgettable wins over OSU 4. U-M's first No. 1 ranking since 1997, after the 2023 B1G Title Game 5. The Rose Bowl win 6. National Champions
Lions 🔛🔝 #AllGrit
Baker Mayfield..What’s next? Butcher Mayfield? Candlestick Maker Mayfield? Rub a dub dub get his stinky butt in a tub
My 79 year old Mom is watching the #DetroitLions game and just texted me " LFG! " I had to look it up...LETS FUCKING GO! 🦁💙💙
🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁
Who’s house..? OUR HOUSE!! 🦁🦁🦁 #OnePride
I saw James Earl Jones was trending and got scared. Luckily it’s because it’s his birthday!
Worth it I guess Up the town 🏴 #gobirds #FlyEaglesFly
@JalenRose @realchriswebber I’m gonna need the link for that hoodie 👀
today is one of those days where the furnace is on full blast, but the house is like “nah, imma stay at like 60 degrees” #itssocoldintheD
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