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weryæm @pevbim

Everything, etc. Joined September 2014
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pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

7 months ago

(pretend I tweeted this 10 years ago) what idiot called it pig slop and not shoatmeal

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

3 years ago

many homophobic politicians are actually closeted he/theys

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

I’ve decided to make a sequel to 12 angry men, where I expand the scope. I call it, “1200 angry baby einsteins”

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

trick to being alive: just let your neurons do all the work while your soul sits back and watches contentedly

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

A big flashing neon sign that says “private property no trespassing”

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

When I die, I would like to donate my children to science

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

“I’m with stupid” traffic sign with arrow pointing at the cars

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

she got that flowers for algernon pussy. she got that bridge to terabithia pussy. she got that grave of the fireflies pussy

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

There’s a long line at an ice cream parlor and a nervous guy is asking “can you please let me cut, I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die! Please!” Eventually he gets to the front and gets his ice cream and is about to lick it when he immediately falls down dead

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

When I got slimed on nickelodian they had to restrain me to keep me from slurping it all up

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

me when I see it’s raining: dear me, the outroom is positively SOPPING 😍

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

space is real, but only until the edge of the milky way. all the other galaxies are just images painted on the inside of a large sphere. to believe otherwise would be too ontologically costly

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

in some sense, god is always pointing a gun at you. therefore it is always justified to kill god in self defense

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

most comedy is just people saying things. not very funny :/

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

my superpower is that I have eleven different noses, which allows me to smell things with 20% greater accuracy

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

it’s called a gondola because it gondles on a wire

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

if it ain’t broken, daint fixen

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

I think that if the universe was destroyed, I would continue to exist. But some of you aren’t ready to hear this

pevbim Profile Picture

weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

it’s called plumbing because whenever you finish unclogging a pipe you have to say “what a good boy am I”

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weryæm @pevbim

4 years ago

if you ever feel anxious, just remember that jeffrey epstein is in heaven, getting tortured by Jesus Christ💞

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