Honest Restaurant Manager @phileagle_
From Relationships to Restaurants and everything in between. linktr.ee/phileagle Canada Joined January 2019-
Tweets2K
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Followers10K
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Following286
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Likes709
Just had a guest wave me over to order something while their server was at the other end of their table taking orders. The end times are truly here
A lot of murders are planned at the server station.
Manager: HANDS! Servers: Do you hear something? Manager: I NEED HANDS! Servers: No I don’t think so… Manager: I NEED A FOOD RUNNER Servers: Place must be haunted.
Some of you haven’t closed, gotten historically intoxicated, stayed out until 5am, rolled in late to open just to get mad at the close job and it shows.
Sometimes you watch the night crew roll in and you just know that no real work is going to get done tonight
Don’t tell me you can’t accomplish anything. I’ve seen a line cook who has been wearing the same torn up pants for 3 months straight start dating a 3rd year nursing student because he knew when to drop chicken strips in the fryer.
Me: Farewell innocent one. The light of life in your eyes will soon fade. Before long your dreams of a bright future will be replaced by bad decision and the thirst for the instant gratifications of this world. New Employee: what? Me: I said this is your trainer, Jessica.
I like when you’re cutting a guy off and he’s like “Do you have any idea how much money I spend here?” And it’s like: Ya man, and we’ll be fine without your 3 rye cokes and 5% tip.
Restaurants are dangerous because you’re 21 and having so much fun and then boom, you’re 40.
Restaurant staff have it made. We work with all of our best friends, all we do is eat and drink and we have a reason to get out of every family holiday.
Hell hath no fury like a middle aged person who has to wait like 20 minutes
Me: The manager has been in the office for 3 hours playing on his phone, the kitchen crashed and the bartender threw my chit in the garbage because he’s too drunk to work. If I don’t make 20% tonight I quit. Customer: ….I just want some mozzarella sticks.
Calling in sick for work: School: We will get a substitute Office: can you work from home? Restaurant: Put the surgeon on the phone.
Why you work in a restaurant by age: 15-18: Favour/first job/MomPop 19-24: Pay for school/Fun 25-29: OMG I make so much money I’m never leaving. 30-32: This feels like I made a mistake 33+: The Void.
Rude people really need to understand that leaving and not coming back is not a threat, It’s a tease.
If you make $300 in a night and then sit down at the bar top after and spend $100. You made $200 and drank for free.
Restaurant staff will literally go a week with 4 hours of sleep, only consuming French fries, red bull, wine and bar garnish and say things like “I don’t know why I’m so tired”
One day in the distant future, some archeologist is going to find a servers order pad and they will start some new religion based on the illegible script that doesn’t seem to match any known human language.
99% of Restaurants: “Chef may I?” 99% of Restaurants: “Yes Chef” 99% of Restaurants: “HEARD!” Always that one Restaurant: Sup Kitchen Daddy?
Don’t mind me, I’m just getting a little emotional thinking about how lucky my workplace is that they get to experience my presence on a daily basis
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@phileagle_ Haha Best tweet I’ll see today!
@phileagle_ Yo, glad to see you back in the twitter world. Hope you’re doing well
@adamrank If the knee's that bad he can't play. But it's all the more reason why Balt didn't give him the contract. He's hurt and not available for the playoffs. He has an injury history and his game doesn't project long term. If Cam Newton couldn't last at 6'6 260, he's on borrowed time.
#Chiefs HC Andy Reid on the receiver group after minicamp: "I like the mixture that we've got going." He mentioned rookie WR Skyy Moore, says that he looked strong, has big hands and is a good route runner.
George Pickens love from @gregcosell #Steelers
@phileagle_ You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. I fell the same way about people that use chip clips and that cork their wine. Both are single servings
I like to be the one who orders the most Pasta in the restaurant. The Alphaghetti Male, If you will.
@phileagle_ Thanks for reminding me, I still need to pass over those $10 I found on the ground while running out a couple weeks ago.
The Rockies are building quite the 5th place team. Grichuk will hit a lot of bombs at coors
Love this sweet message Chris Godwin’s wife Mariah posted to him in her Instagram stories. “If your younger self could see you, he would be in awe. You did it.”
@phileagle_ Anyone who would pass on hot homemade cinnamon buns needs to reevaluate their choices
@phileagle_ A margarita in each hand and someone feeding you grapes
@phileagle_ Rank em: 1. Chips and Guacamole 2. Mozzarella Sticks 3. Sushi 4. Vermicelli Bowl
*on my floor/bed/chair
I sure have a lot of clothes in my closet for someone who only wears 5 outfits
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