angelheaded hipster @sometimesyoufly
cranky, dorky, foul-mouthed, bisexual, atheist, comedy junky. #C4FknL now with autoimmune diseases! Some of my photos are nice IG: nopesanddreams nashville Joined October 2011-
Tweets14K
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Followers235
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Following337
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Likes18K
@AshlieJere My husband has somehow managed to save one from each of our dogs. They are adorable - tiny and obscenely sharp.
@eflind You have made the correct decision. 👍🏼
@emgyres Yeah, but that only matters if you don’t want women to die. They could not give less of a fuck.
@Joey_LaRoo Exactly right, as usual. I don’t really have anything else going on but can I interest you in some Cooper butt?
@Joey_LaRoo It’s pretty damn good. The ensure by itself has a bit of a fake sugar aftertaste but even that isn’t bad. I tried to drink the thick kind but naah. For my mini vacation I made popsicles out of it. Didn’t want to pack the blender/annoy everyone using it constantly. Also good.
@Joey_LaRoo I’ve been making slushies for myself lately (frozen fruit, the “clear” version of ensure, fruity lemonade, a peach juice to balance out the lemonade & sprite). They’re so damn delicious I’ve almost made myself sick drinking them. Even with the protein from ensure, not dinner.
@Manglewood My aunt lives in that world. I know she made the first hat below and most likely the pj’s.
Meanwhile, my reasonable former teacher / current painter aunt is having fashion shows with her chickens. And it’s...the greatest?
@eflind I love you. Evil is just hot. We didn’t make the rules. 🤷🏻♀️ Sylar & Hannibal are at the top of my fictional, fuckable evil list.
@ChadRiden Ooh, I stayed in a tiny B&B somewhere out there with natural hot spring hot tubs outside that were responsible for one of the best hours of my life. I’d love to visit one day. See Chad go full hermit. Assuming it doesn’t burn, which is a concern. But no floods or tornadoes. 👍🏼
@ChadRiden I would go if I had an immune system that halfway functioned. I would say I’ll miss you but after 2+ years at home, I already miss everything/one, so… I need more trees around me long-term but I love to visit places like that. Just a gorgeous landscape. Enjoy!
Damn. Mic drop of a thread.
Love hearing about ‘the sanctity of life’ from the same people who have spent the last two years arguing that killing grandma is a small price to pay for being able to sit in an Applebee’s.
@Kerrie_Murphy I can only keep to a schedule if that schedule is 24/7/365.
@Joey_LaRoo Yay!! Congrats on that room that doesn’t look like it’s made of spiders, dog hair, & sadness. I’d like one of those some day. PS - 100% not the point but the lighting on that step stool is glorious. Like, I might get mad about it. 😉
@fscott24 Do you buy your dairy separately from your other groceries?
@fscott24 That has been happening here ALL THE TIME with all kinds of food for…probably the last half of the pandemic. Juice, meat, all the produce. I suspect companies are trying so hard to fulfill orders that they’re slacking on quality.
@ChadRiden Fucking seriously.
@CaughtStealing Hell, I’m constantly re-evaluating. If I felt a bit better or lived in a state with a higher vax rate, I would get out more. Also: if I were single I’d take more risks (or would have offed myself already). Paul still wants me around for some reason, so I’m extra careful for him.
@CaughtStealing Don’t feel bad! Friends I’ve known for decades & family members have asked if I am doing / want to do certain things. Asking is always better than making assumptions - and no one knows exactly what risks anyone else is comfortable taking these days.
Murphers Paradise @Kerrie_Murphy
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Thetheak @Thetheak192583
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13_Natalie @13Natalie225022
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Men's Money Monthly @MensMoneyMonth
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Joseph Angelo Warner @jangelowarner
540 Followers 336 Following I make shirts and other cool stuff at @EstoyMerch. Art Director and Product Creative for hire.
Autoimmune Health & N... @AutoimmuneHN
706 Followers 3K Following We want to take the nutritional needs of families and help provide a tasty option for mothers, fathers, and children.
The Hostess With The ... @bone_angelique
37 Followers 142 Following One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered Drive-In mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Tub of Terror @Pimento_Sleaze
435 Followers 753 Following One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Journal of Auto Immun... @autoimmunediso
16 Followers 111 Following WEB-http:/autoimmunediseases.imedpub.com/
redjimmy @redjimmy
497 Followers 5K Following
Myhealth.FYI @MyhealthFYI
154 Followers 206 Following Download Nutribite with link ⬇️ for healthy dining suggestions. We also specialize in #autoimmunedisease management recipes. Follow us : #myhealthfyi
The Gunkhole State Pa... @gunkholepod
233 Followers 299 Following An improvised podcast about the least majestic state park in Colorado.
Kc Zealot @kchidozie58
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The Curmudgeon Files @FrankEPantz
634 Followers 2K Following The heart of curmudgeonry is contrarian truth. Our purpose is to challenge conventional wisdom, because true wisdom is rarely conventional. Plus, I like books.
Mags ♡ @lupuswarriormj
132 Followers 590 Following hi! I'm an SLE fighter, spoonie, an INFJ and chronically sleepy. Just wanna make someone's day better one nap at a time. ♡
🖤🌺 яαιηвσ... @SpoonfulOfPain
814 Followers 2K Following 🙉🙈🙊 • Engaged • ⚖️ • Chronic Illness/Pain • Autoimmune • Mental Health • Hope • Pray • Laugh • Love • Support • Uplift • 🐱🐱🐱 📖 🎶 🧶 🎮 **@soscdesigns**
haley white @ShadyD87
6 Followers 25 Following Check out this weird corn tooth in my pic. Too poor for braces.
Heather Fowler @mylifeasICit
36 Followers 201 Following
WhichPersonalityIsIt @Which1IsItToday
3 Followers 106 Following Sometimes what I say to others. Mostly what the different voices inside are feeling. Who knows. Society and being PC is exhausting. #Venting
Emma whammy @EchoDale9066
4K Followers 5K Following moon-soft, mood-swingy 🌙 mutuals only but i follow back
ourfrankpodcast @ourfrankpodcast
18 Followers 114 Following a podcast with jackie and @jensilverreed
Lao Minhang @LaoMinhang
587 Followers 2K Following Bookish Eurasian who loves Eve Online and space shit #tweetfleet transhumanist, if I can.
deadtruecrime @deadtruecrime
1K Followers 4K Following Historical #truecrime books about serial killers, bizarre cases, and little-known murderers. https://t.co/bMJkiFcD4x
NextLevelPods @NextPods
30 Followers 288 Following Next Level Pods Improved Coil And Wick For Flavor J..L And OVNS Pod Kit Compatible Nic Salts // EJuice // Leak Resistant [email protected] ✌️!!
Meredith McWilliams @approxqueenjane
307 Followers 711 Following
ProfOaky @ProfOaky
13 Followers 126 Following No sleep till Hippo, Clown from the neck down, WHERE MY CUDDLAZ AT?
HippyChick @MountainLady14
789 Followers 2K Following #Resist! #CloseTheCamps #TrumpForPrison2020 #VoteouttheGOP2020 #FreeTheChildren #TrumpCrimesAgainstHumanity
Approved With Mark @ApprovedWith
390 Followers 3K Following Mortgage Expert / Homes For Heroes / Certified Divorce Lending Professional (CLDP) / Lover of Baseball and Football
Serina Martinez @Awe_Organics
49 Followers 542 Following We strive to create 100% Natural and Pure Organic Products. We create Bath Bombs, Soaps, (CBD) Items & more.
Front Row Andy @FrontRowAndy
845 Followers 2K Following Just read The Chicken Runs at Midnight, take back all I said about Ed Sedar.
Kittens McTavish @Kitty_McTavish
291 Followers 501 Following Cat slave, mixed media artist, avid bibliophile, practitioner of logic. (she/her/ally to all) Experiences are better than things. Except pizza.
Taco Church @tacochurch
24 Followers 33 Following Pls consider joining the Church of the Holy Taco. Have you had a taco this week? If so, then you are blessed. #AsadaAmen
Comedian Ben Bailey �... @RealBenBailey
217K Followers 171K Following Comedian, Actor, Host of #CashCab - NEW comedy special: “Ben Bailey: Please Tell Me What I Said”
Madaline Zannes @zanneslaw
38K Followers 20K Following Lawyer: business, tech, media & entertainment @zanneslawfirm | Co-founder @havenworkspace DMs are not monitored. For firm inquiries: [email protected]
kristen r. @khubs1
519 Followers 1K Following Comms professional. Runner. Working mom. Wife. Coffee addict. True crime lover. The husband did it #SSDGM 🏃🏻♀️☕️💻
Wine & Crime Podcast @WineandCrimePod
29K Followers 4K Following Join 2 friends as they chug wine, chat true crime, & unleash their worst MN accents.🍷🔪😘 https://t.co/crEl50DOav #WineCoven #WineandCrime
Nobody @AnyKeyCC
756 Followers 5K Following All tweets meet at least one of my following criteria: desperately sad, amusing or notable. I make no further comment.
National Comedy Cente... @NtlComedyCenter
7K Followers 2K Following The United States' official cultural institution and museum dedicated to the celebration of the art of comedy and preserving its heritage for future generations
IPhone @IPhone74897679
6 Followers 173 Following
Roger grone @Rogergrone1
0 Followers 19 Following
Jessica Haywick @haywicky
1 Followers 76 Following I can tie my shoes really fast. I can also drink water, and I eat food.
Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.0M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjle
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
99K Followers 6K Following Standup / Late Night Writer / Book “Dead People Suck” / Hulu special “Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" (Hulu, Amazon, Apple TV) - On Tour
Gareth Reynolds @reynoldsgareth
55K Followers 2K Following Stand up comedian/Writer/Cat dad/Podcaster: The Dollop, We’re Here to Help and Next We Have!
The Dollop @thedollop
53K Followers 60 Following An American history podcast with @DaveAnthony and @ReynoldsGareth Send suggestions to: [email protected]
Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA
299K Followers 888 Following I'm a triple threat; writer, photographer, arsonist
kurt braunohler @kurtbraunohler
46K Followers 2K Following New Special PERFECTLY STUPID available everywhere now!
Murphers Paradise @Kerrie_Murphy
1K Followers 1K Following Illegal underground dinosaur fighting ring organiser. She/Her
river buddy butcher �... @rivbutcher
88K Followers 2K Following comedy central half hour "a different kind of dude" streaming 1.27 https://t.co/47zAFADQ9V
matt @dogfather
174K Followers 676 Following head human for @dog_rates and @dog_feelings, currently working on @15outof10 | inquiries: [email protected]
Tub of Terror @Pimento_Sleaze
435 Followers 753 Following One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.6M Followers 3 Following
Jurassic Park Updates @JurassicPark2go
353K Followers 11 Following @pjayevans @NotJosephGarcia @rajat_suresh @Colinoscopy @totallymorgan @julieabridged @astonoha @quakerraina @carmchristopher @jayweingarten @dlicj @sarahsquirm
Taika Waititi @TaikaWaititi
1.3M Followers 708 Following Bespoke tweets hand-crafted from locally sourced vintage dickhead.
haley white @ShadyD87
6 Followers 25 Following Check out this weird corn tooth in my pic. Too poor for braces.
James Fridman @fjamie013
2.1M Followers 1 Following Do not submit any personal photos that you do not want to be made public. Terms and conditions apply. https://t.co/WWtgLUgpub
lord crunkington III ... @postcrunk
27K Followers 249 Following film photographer 📸 https://t.co/wIizMmfWNM
darth™ @darth
181K Followers 4K Following not the darth you are looking for @[email protected] @darthbluesky.bsky.social
Louis Virtel @louisvirtel
148K Followers 1K Following Keep It! podcast on Crooked Media Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Meredith McWilliams @approxqueenjane
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Dog Solution @DogSolutions
292K Followers 10 Following Gluten free dog solution. You can assured we proivde highes quality Dog & Solutions direct, dog free money fast, dog blockchain, dog cloud services, dog dot tv
click click bitch @JoMo5760
513 Followers 2K Following chef, aspiring pop culture gadfly, walking imdb and a bitch. queer, demi, aro, she/they
Comedian Ben Bailey �... @RealBenBailey
217K Followers 171K Following Comedian, Actor, Host of #CashCab - NEW comedy special: “Ben Bailey: Please Tell Me What I Said”
Yesterday's Print @yesterdaysprint
109K Followers 1K Following A collection of old photographs, historic newspaper clippings and assorted excerpts highlighting the parallels of past and present. https://t.co/J12Ubid7fr
Everyone Relax @TOFOP
8K Followers 75 Following Official Twitter of Everyone Relax, which suggests there's unofficial ones. Guess what? There isn't.
Hannah Gadsby @Hannahgadsby
198K Followers 909 Following I am the sleepy time tea bear 🐻 #actuallyautistic On tour now: https://t.co/F1Gt0CwsXo. Tour updates by HGHQ.
Benjamin Sawyer @Ben_Sawyer
2K Followers 892 Following Historian at MTSU & host of @Road_To_Now on SiriusXM 124. Interested in the history of economic systems. Comic at @SawyerComedy
Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster
1.2M Followers 1K Following noun | a reference source containing words alphabetically arranged along with information about their forms, pronunciations, functions, and etymologies
Nick Thune Notary Pub... @nickthune
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Billy Jensen @Billyjensen
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Paul Holes @PaulHoles
84K Followers 136 Following Retired Contra Costa DA's Office. Had something to do with solving the Golden State Killer case. Consults with law enforcement and media re: true... real crime.
Wine & Crime Podcast @WineandCrimePod
29K Followers 4K Following Join 2 friends as they chug wine, chat true crime, & unleash their worst MN accents.🍷🔪😘 https://t.co/crEl50DOav #WineCoven #WineandCrime
Lucy @LucyFitz46
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MaybeIt'sYouPodcast @MaybeItsYouPod
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