Alf @whoelsebutalf
Devon Comedian Chris Leworthy from #BGT. Oh no, I've just won the UK Humblebrag championships again. #TraitorsUK #TheTraitorsUK #MaskedSingerUK #UKPunDay ko-fi.com/whoelsebutalf Devon Joined May 2011-
Tweets24K
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Followers16K
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Following15K
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Likes103K
Not my sort of usual post. Anyone got any racing tips for Punchestown? I'm thinking i'll probably go with 'Dinoblue', 'Montys Star' and 'Mystical Power'. #Punchestown #PunchestownFestival
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I've got a pet Panda called 'Little Richard'. He eats "A WOP BOP A LOO BOP" A Lot of Bamboo.
You may know me as the guy that pulls the ropes in your local church tower. Ring any bells??
People who disrespect the National Anthem. I won’t stand for it!! #LunchPun
Now Hiring: 'Karma Sutra the musical' needs you!!! Plenty of positions still available.
I knew I was going to win the Lizard naming world Championships, from the Gecko.
Slept in my Parklife t-shirt and ended up getting rudely awoken by the dustmen. (It was a wednesday)
Slept in my Parklife t-shirt and ended up getting rudely awoken by the dustmen. (It was a wednesday)
Slept in my wham! t-shirt and woke up before I needed to go go.
Forgot to post any jokes this morning, so to make up for it here's a photo of Lex after his recent operation.
The gig was very pleasant as I knew it would be. 😀 A full house and I got an encore. Shame I didnt record any of it however, you'll just have to take my word for it.
The gig was very pleasant as I knew it would be. 😀 A full house and I got an encore. Shame I didnt record any of it however, you'll just have to take my word for it.
You must always try on an Australian hat before you buy it. Just incase it's corked.
Think I might try some new material. Country Dancing bit. (Wear my) Bubblewrap waistcoat. Sing 500 miles. New famous Actor bit. I'll try and record it so you can all witness the car crash) 😀
Think I might try some new material. Country Dancing bit. (Wear my) Bubblewrap waistcoat. Sing 500 miles. New famous Actor bit. I'll try and record it so you can all witness the car crash) 😀
My 3 favourite drinks all come with a straw. 1. Um Bongo 2. Capri Sun 3. WD40
Tomorrow night i'm performing comedy in deepest darkest Cornwall at a night I know nothing about and by the fact that it's not been promoted anywhere, neither will the people of Lostwithiel. So what i'm saying in #prayforalf (I'll post an update tomorrow evening as I leave)
Alf retweeted
My jokebook "It's a Punder Fool Life" has been published! Available on Amazon as Paperback (£7.99), Kindle (£4.99) or contact me for signed copies! Please retweet/share & consider purchasing. Thanks to all the #LunchPun community :-) amazon.co.uk/Its-Punder-Foo…
Last time I was in Boston i got arrested for shouting abuse at the red sox. They're never going to let me back in that launderette again. #LunchPun
Tomorrow is International Hard of Hearing Day. That's something to shout about.
My English teacher always told me that spelling doesn't matter because in the future we'll have autocorrect and for that advice I will be eternally grapefruit.
I'm not sure what it is about this Herb Catapult, but when I'm playing with it..... Thyme flies.
Daniel Edison @DanEdisonComedy
13K Followers 8K Following One-liner comedian / writer of nonsense. I post original jokes. Jack of all trades, master of pun. Also on Instagram.
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Nic @tismenic70
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Fi 🇪🇺 @rahhead01
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Richard Stone @RichardStone21
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Jacko @albolt76
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Anne Eller (my drawin.. @anneeller
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Yusuf @Yusuf83542694
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Sara Benomara @SaraBenomara
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brayne wady @tell3dmonds
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Mª®t¡ñ Pմʝძ�.. @MartinPujdak
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Amanda Lay @Mandathebelle
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Nora van Doren🌊�.. @DorenNora
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Monica @monicagivati
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just say no @RobLow_7
995 Followers 1K Following Mackem & proud : Music is my drug and Motörhead is my dealer.
@IanYorston@mastodon... @IanYorston
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Sue @sue_panter
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Bernie McGreavey 💙 @BernieMcgreavey
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5K Followers 4K Following Using Twitter for testing material for puns for my comedy shows. And trust me, you will be tested... https://t.co/jVMaxloF5j
Gary Delaney-next tou.. @GaryDelaney
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Nic @tismenic70
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Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot
9K Followers 7K Following I've been called Witty. Though I'm sure I just misheard what was said? Anyway love and kindness.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
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Katspaks @katspaks
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Steve Austin @SteveAusti93881
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Andy Mac @AndyMacCreative
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George Milburn @Pschorsch
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🇵🇸 - t - 🏳�.. @SlowPiracy
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David Rowe @mrdavidrowe
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Blind Lemon Steve @blemon
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KISS ARMY @KISSARM48156677
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Miss Freda Wallace �.. @Freda_Media
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Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew
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Paul Downess @PDowness
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Tom Crean @TimothyMur92052
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Andy The Chee @dundeeandy
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Tony McChrystal @tonymac5
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Gareth Reynolds @gajamaflake
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Den Was The Menace @NaughtyDen
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Mark Watson @watsoncomedian
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Mat Riches @matriches
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Jay Richardson @jayirichardson
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Chivi 😘 @chivalroustube
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Sir Mike @MikeHWillemsen
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Steve Evans @SteveFM
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ange1ina @ange1ina
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christopher brooke �.. @TWRHQ
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James Rolph @JAMESEROLPH
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I went to bed in my Divinyls shirt. I woke up...wait, I'd better stop there. I don't want to get banned. People of a certain age will know.
Slept in my wham! t-shirt and woke up before I needed to go go.
I went to bed in my Donna Summer shirt. I woke up in MacArthur Park.
Slept in my wham! t-shirt and woke up before I needed to go go.
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Monkees’ shirt, and then I saw her face….
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Bowie Fashion shirt. Now I’m a goon squad coming to town, and I can’t stop turning to the left.
Q) Which dog is the best at hyphenating? A) The dash hound
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Bowie shirt and woke up sitting in a tin can.
@monalisa4068 @whoelsebutalf So long as you didn't wake up with the man from Mars, eating bars, cars or guitars!
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Hoodoo Gurus shirt and woke up tired.
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Guns and Roses t-shirt and woke up in the jungle
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Journey T-shirt and woke up just a small town girl.
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Mojo Nixon T-Shirt and and woke up in a big rig that come from outer space.
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my KoRn shirt and woke up blind
Slept in my Faithless t-shirt, but I couldn’t get no sleep! 😉
Slept in my wham! t-shirt and woke up before I needed to go go.
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my Primus shirt and woke up in Winona’s Big Brown beaver
@whoelsebutalf Weak Bladder... will piss it... Dinnertime is 12/1 Cre O'Sote - is great on fences... Dusty Carpet - has never been beaten... Blue Dye - always runs well... V-neck - is a very smart jumper... My NAP is Foundations... You can put your house on it...x
@whoelsebutalf Slept in my 'Astral Weeks' t-shirt and woke up in the slipstream, between the viaducts of your dream.
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