Brandon Scott Wolf @BrandonEsWolf
Writer, Producer, Coworker 🦀 Co-Founder of Twin Fungus Productions 🦞 Watch RUBBER BANDS now ⬇️ youtu.be/zNXBZYksStE?si… Tinselville, baby! 🎞️ he/him Joined April 2009-
Tweets2K
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Followers15K
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Following5K
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Likes285K
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
Dentist: have you been flossing? *mouth pooling with blood* Me: most definitely
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Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
What are clothes if not giant napkins?
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
3pm? sorry that’s my time to be the most tired I’ve ever been in my life everyday
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
It’s crazy that this ape has a first and last name. I have to respect him
It’s crazy that this ape has a first and last name. I have to respect him
Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
to my knowledge “margaritaville” is the only song about alcoholic regret and self-loathing that was turned into a chain of restaurants and resorts
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
A “murder” of crows is so dramatic for a group of birds. Like what if it was a “grand theft auto” of ostriches
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
i hate gen z. they don't know who andy capp is and why he's the mascot for hot fries. news flash, assholes: he's from an old comic strip or something and i don't know either!!!
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
Literally nothing more hateful than wishing someone “well”😈
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
existential crisis at the drive-thru
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
Things will be fine, eventually, in thousands of years, for rocks
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
My wife and I have been together for 3 live action Spider-Mans
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
Never know what topic Bluey is gonna hit you with. Just watched the new one and now I have to talk to my kids about why we slice debt into risk-defined tranches, bundle it into securities, create derivative markets to shift the credit exposure, and sell insurance on the defaults
Brandon Scott Wolf retweeted
Combos are definitely the closest thing to a dog treat that I’ll willingly eat
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Michael Dean @mikewritesalot
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cc5c4w6i9nu3 @e5oe559mdutl2d
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Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
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pat++ @patsatweetin
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
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Whacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
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6K Followers 437 Following Giving away little pieces of myself every day, FOR FREE! #StocktonProud @BattleBots 🤖
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155 Followers 461 Following At this point, I’m just excited when my socks match.
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Garfield and Friends .. @GarfieldScreens
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Leslie Jones 🦋 @Lesdoggg
1.4M Followers 2K Following I'm LESLIE F*CKING JONES. Hit the link to grab my book and see me live!
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first ethical space c.. @cowboybecsbop
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George Reinblatt @georgereinblatt
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Brent Delaney @Brent__Delaney
524 Followers 710 Following I write true stories, biopics, and philosophical films. Academy Nicholl Fellow '23. PhD | Philosophy
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Papa Woof und Krampus.. @woofknight
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Emma Beasley🐝 @JustBeingEmma
14K Followers 9K Following My eggs are expired, I ran out of bread, my husband got fired. I wish I was dead. https://t.co/IVfhz3nNnT https://t.co/eY8BG3lLqc
Slime @Im_The_Slime
2K Followers 815 Following Seriously never serious. Now laugh: https://t.co/Rluk6Ah1bF
Nate Armbruster @natecomedy
3K Followers 2K Following I like to write jokes. And tell those jokes to audiences in the form of stand-up comedy.
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Trevor Zhou @TrevorZhou
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T-Pain @TPAIN
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Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds
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Haus of Decline @hausofdecline
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Michael Green @andmichaelgreen
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Danny Trejo @officialDannyT
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Grimy Ghost! @TheGrimyGhost
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Said this to a few writers in the moment — I think the Tyrese Maxey game-tying logo three tonight was the single best play any Sixer has made in the Joel Embiid Era. Beats the Jimmy Butler game-winners, beats the Harden shots against Boston, even beats the Embiid windmill. Nails.
Tyrese Maxey to Joel Embiid: “I got you, let’s go.”
There’s one reason why the Sixers are still alive, and it’s because Tyrese Maxey refused to go home. For all of this team’s faults, he is an absolute superstar.
Tyrese Maxey extends the Sixers season, Titanic edition
What a game. This is the most shocked I’ve been in a long time that the Sixers won a game. Thank you Tyrese Maxey. Amazing.
TYRESE MAXEY TONIGHT: 46 POINTS 5 REBOUNDS 9 ASSISTS 17/30 FG 7/12 3PT PHILLY AVOIDS ELIMINATION 🔥
7 points in 29 seconds for Tyrese Maxey. Insane. 🔥
Tyrese Maxey practices this shot every. Single. Day.
The emotion from Tyrese Maxey after forcing overtime ❤️
Tyrese Maxey was drafted 1,259 days ago on November 18th, 2020. Since then he has gotten 1% better every single day. If you compound that daily for 1,259 days you get 27580873.6% better.
JOEL EMBIID WAS TRYING SO HARD TO LOSE THAT GAME AND TYRESE MAXEY SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT
How Tyrese Maxey's game-tying 3 and end of the 4th quarter sounded on MSG "One thing the Knicks can't afford is a three-point attempt!"
TYRESE MAXEY. THREE-POINTER TO TIE THE GAME IN THE FINAL SECONDS WITH THE SEASON ON THE LINE TOM MCGINNIS ON THE CALL
Raw emotion from Tyrese Maxey at the end of regulation, from the TNT OT feed.
Tyrese Maxey watching his game 5 highlights vs the Knicks
Tyrese Maxey to Jalen Brunson in the fourth quarter:
Tyrese Maxey credits Buddy Hield for picking him up during a down moment in the fourth quarter: “I was on the bench and really upset. Really upset with myself, missed three free throws. Turned the ball over. Buddy Hield just kind of grabbed me and said listen dude, you know what…
Regardless of the final outcome, Joel Embiid has a half of basketball to avoid an excruciating amount of criticism, and would be largely deserved. Brought the absolute worst energy he could. Disappointing but true.
For the first time in the history of this account, a boo has been rescinded
Wondering if the guy who hacked Glen Danzig ever paid the ultimate price
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