Casey James Salengo @caseyJsalengo
I’m a stand up comedian and I’m emotional! Queens, NY Joined October 2009-
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Casey James Salengo retweeted
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The Taco Bell cantina burrito is one of the greatest foods I’ve ever tasted I wish I was being paid to say this
One of my favorite activities is giving someone a big hug hello and saying I missed them while not being fully sure who the hell the are
Please sign my petition to make diarrhea medicine easier to open link in bio
I wish everyone in the world could have big naturals if only for a day
You’re telling me an 18 year old can go fight and die in battle but he can’t give me a little kiss?
It’s ok to let them vote
Casey James Salengo retweeted
Using Ron Goldman’s last words in an advertisement smdh
Casey James Salengo retweeted
How is this guy always having such a good time and I lie awake feeling guilty about something I said in high school
How is this guy always having such a good time and I lie awake feeling guilty about something I said in high school
The Dunkin app is down looks like I’ll have to go outside and talk to ppl
If there was a god why would he make you so fucking stupid?
Casey James Salengo retweeted
me vibing at 4am then realising i gotta work tomorrow
Casey James Salengo retweeted
one thing that has never happened, and will never happen, is a high school boy getting hormone therapy and publicly coming out as trans for no reason other than to have a better shot at going all state in girls soccer than boys soccer
I gave my cat a spoonful of ice cream and he gave me the same look I gave my dad when he was in a manic state, gave me $400, and dropped me off at the mall for 5 hours
If you get mad when ppl you’ve never met mispronounce your name have you considered getting a personality?
Just found out my boss is 26 I’m gonna shove this kid in a locker and go home
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Sometimes my co-workers will ask where I go on my lunch break because I’m never in the break room and I tell them I meet up with friends but they don’t know that these are the friends
@caseyJsalengo this endorsement carries a great deal of weight for me
Somehow this is even more off putting than his IDF photo. “I think movies are bad but this Pop Tart project really spoke to me.”
As an anti-Zionist Jew, and one who will be observing in the homes of far more frum relatives who cheer the barbarism of the occupation and its’ “defense”, this Passover will be an awkward and at times painful one, I fear. However the I will celebrate the strength and bravery
@caseyJsalengo more room in the clothes! bigger blazers, better material
@caseyJsalengo Hey man, it could happen
KILL BILL: VOLUME 2 was released 20 years ago this week. The concluding part of Quentin Tarantino’s martial arts saga, it has a behind the scenes story as crazy as the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad… 1/31
My disrespectful ass son and I hope you watch my special this weekend.
My three dream roles are The Noid, Count Chocula and Mac Tonight. Two to go.
Last night my friend told me they thought Ed Harris was 45 and I may never recover
@caseyJsalengo (it’s definitely not one at ours. heavily frowned upon)
There are entire Twitter accounts dedicated to sharing epic clips of comedians being about half as funny as the guy you chill with at the bar after work while Conan continues to be one of the funniest guys in show business doing the silliest shit.
Can't think of any reason Krazy straws aren't offered at more places. Things taste better after they've gone on a lil ride.
@caseyJsalengo No that's when you're allowed to get on Grindr
@caseyJsalengo If my cat can decide whether he wants beef or turkey wet food, he should be allowed to vote.
i was shopping in a kroger in stone mtn, ga. they announced it over the intercom. everyone gasped; a couple of men yelled out, "I TOLD Y'ALL!" i passed a woman repeating "i can't believe it" into a pay phone. couldn't tell if she was happy or sad.
For those of you who were around, where were you when the O.J. verdict was given?
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