Evan J'daté Kessler @EvanJKessler
Comedian. Author of Raisins are Good for You: A Child's Guide to Eating A Raisin-Only Diet. Host of the "Won't You Be My Killer?" podcast. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/won… Los Angeles, CA Joined April 2008-
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Haven't watched Baby Reindeer yet. Assuming it's on Disney Plus.
I love sports, but I’ve always felt like a fucking idiot every time I’ve worn a jersey as a fan.
Makes sense. Licking boots was actually part of their initiation.
Makes sense. Licking boots was actually part of their initiation.
Only reason I follow the last few rounds of the NFL Draft is to see if I like any of the players' names.
I'm sure all of this bad stuff will stop if we just donate to Democratic candidates before their quarterly donation deadline at midnight.
Just saw an ad for an app aimed at helping me teach my horse to do dressage. Anyone want to buy me a horse?
As a Jew, I keep thinking that this horror is the evilest possible legacy of the Holocaust, that it could warp history in such a way that the descendants of those they tried to exterminate would themselves commit genocide. It’s so perverse it takes your breath away.
Anyone who pays 60k tuition should be legally allowed to start a revolution
Writing a movie about voters who, armed with only their voices, confront a militarized police force that owns state-of-the-art surveillance gear, is accountable to no one, and is backed by legislature afraid to cross them. The movie is called "Getting Murdered By The Police"
My mom won't even listen to my podcast, that's how you know it's good - but I'll let you be the judge, jury, and executioner! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/won…
Refaat Alareer wrote a poem called “If I Die,” asking people to fly a kite in his name if he’s killed to give hope to orphaned children. He wrote it for his daughter, Shaima. Israel killed him. Months later Shaima had a baby. Israel killed Shaima. And her husband and baby.
Not going anywhere near the person who wrote this article.
Not gonna read the article. Just gonna assume they all went to a Sandals in Punta Cana and had a great time.
Not gonna read the article. Just gonna assume they all went to a Sandals in Punta Cana and had a great time.
It’s unfair to pigs to call them pigs
It’s unfair to pigs to call them pigs
Everything I would ask AI, I can just google.
They buried the lede here, which is I haven’t had sex in a while.
They buried the lede here, which is I haven’t had sex in a while.
Unpopular opinion: We’re supposed to be living in a Democracy.
So funny when people brag about being “politically incorrect,” like “incorrect” isn’t right there in the description.
Think about how fast this country sent hordes of riot police with tear gas, batons, and tasers to arrest anti-war students & their teachers. Now think about every medical bill you've paid, every homeless person you've seen, every school that relies on bake sales to buy supplies.
Just updated all my dating profiles to mention my podcast, so I will definitely not be matching with anyone anytime soon.
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharksAlex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.ellory smith @ellorysmith
70K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy nominated writer who is always looking for corporate workBrendan Cooney @CooneyOrDie
10K Followers 1K Following Jokester. Long time ago a friend bought me followers to prank me. Link is to my podcast: Raccoon TweetiesChris Estrada - Texas.. @ChrisEstrada85
12K Followers 2K Following Stand-up Comic / Star & Co-Creator of @thisfoolhulu / https://t.co/vbztYeLh78 / My Don't Tell Comedy set in the link below.mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
210K Followers 1K FollowingBrian Gaar @briangaar
80K Followers 2K Following Finally a bearded white dude in comedy. https://t.co/z1EDZmqdBo Bluesky: https://t.co/XkLVhTtCfvKatrina Davis @katrinasivad
3K Followers 2K Following One joke teller’s graveyard of half-thoughts. My first special Figuring It Out is streaming now! https://t.co/P9ecaVgGDhDC Pierson @DCpierson
57K Followers 6K Following Wrote the novels THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SLEEP AND NEVER HAD TO and CRAP KINGDOM. Was in DERRICK. https://t.co/RSs3cRMrDr [email protected] he/himgianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coachRex Huppke @RexHuppke
96K Followers 1K Following (VERY SERIOUS) @USATODAY humor(ish) columnist. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).Marcella Arguello @marcellacomedy
45K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Known Bitch. HBO special #BitchGrowUp on MAX. Comedy albums: Mercury in Reggaeton & TheWokeBully. Podcast: Comedy Is Dead! ░T░I░X░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░0░Greg Edwards @GregtheGrouch
7K Followers 2K Following Comedy Central/Thug Notes Ridiculousness/MTV/ENTWeekly/BET/ Tavis Smiley/ NYTimes/ Comedian/Actor/Artist https://t.co/lFXCfLvAEDTed Travelstead @trumpetcake
50K Followers 5K Following I'm not everyone's cup of teeth. https://t.co/97Pa1xYSHhMary Kobayashi @MaryKoCo
22K Followers 2K Following Formerly 1/4 of The Perfect Women on @adultswim 🍟 Currently 1/2 Japanese 🇯🇵Jeff 🇵🇸 @usedwigs
11K Followers 901 Following Executive Producer of 'Nephew Swap.' Runner of trails.Simon Gibson @simeygibson
10K Followers 1K Following Watch my comedy special “Best I’ve ever done” at the link below! Sideline reporter for Cannonball on USA Network. Inside Jokes on Amazon Prime. Taller in personVanessa Guerrero @nessguerrero
13K Followers 2K Following Horror dork. Formerly at @kickscreampod @g4tv @aots @elrey Currently @GameGrumps 🇬🇹 🇸🇻 🏳️🌈 she/theyChristine Nesrallah @xnesra
669 Followers 4K Following For 🍉 Qs & myths check out: https://t.co/4pATfZbEy2. For Zionism: https://t.co/TOJ2NRgeTb #BLM #DeGrowth #ClimateCrisisBooktasters Authors @BooktastersAuth
33K Followers 33K Following Get your book reviewed on Goodreads. Follow our community of reviewers on @Booktasters.Noor Hamdan 🇵🇸 @noorhamdn1
1K Followers 3K Following Trying to show the suffering of my people in the occupied land, willing to help the marginalized groups through our campaigns and our productsAlex Draper @giana_and_alex
104 Followers 777 FollowingBookTasters Premium @Premium_authors
19K Followers 19K Following Get your book reviewed on Amazon and Goodreads. Check our community of reviewers @BooktastersThe Gay Swami @thegay.. @TheGaySwami
807 Followers 1K Following Building Brands and Belting Gin One White Line at a Time.Nedaraez @nedaraez13275
156 Followers 2K FollowingJoe Hill @JoeHill389406
74 Followers 261 FollowingKate Linda @katelinda8640
46 Followers 650 Following I'm cearing and honest lady I'm a billionaire I came from a wealthy family I came here to help the poor once not everyone opportunity is a scam💯Degen Fantasy @degenfantasybet
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120 Followers 470 FollowingPandora @payta89946
188 Followers 4K Following See the world on the road, and get to know yourself on the way!Deborah @cousleet47374
172 Followers 4K Following See the world on the road, and get to know yourself on the way!Make money easily @9HZC84U1jCrLsee
13 Followers 594 Following MEXC focuses on financial management, stocks, cryptocurrencies, digital assets and investments. Currently, new users can get free dollars when they sign up.Farley Burge @BookFarleyNow
464 Followers 1K Following Hey, I'm Farley, a stand-up comedian, actor, comedy creator, and joke writer. Come on, let's laugh at each other and ourselves.Logan Holt @The_Logan_Holt
244 Followers 1K Following Just your friendly neighborhood bullshiter comic/entrepreneurRoman Bussey @850datbartender
749 Followers 4K FollowingMehrdad Modjtahedi @DrMehrdad
154 Followers 1K Following I started this account in medical school. I never finished. So, my account name is a complete lie. Sorry for breaking your heart.SugarAndSass @SugarAndSass918
605 Followers 2K Following ✨️NSFW✨️ A southern girl who is anything but simple. 29. Milf. Small titties & Big ass. let's connect 💋 https://t.co/337ApKJxc5Bluesky Invites @blueskyinvites_
95 Followers 112 Following Register at https://t.co/Y6mDuhV6AD for Bluesky invite codes or join our private Discord for priority invites - https://t.co/B9RrOP969Ykaiti ミ★ @laveeboheme
598 Followers 791 Following enthusiast of donald o’connor, frasier, old hollywood & broadway #penpalooza #genzgenealogistSarah Lewitinn Patter.. @ultragrrrl
15K Followers 2K Following Famous Jewish Person. Married to an even more famous Jewish person. fuck Elon Musk.mallison ick @allison_mick
3K Followers 2K Following fart noise maker (mouth and butt) horror/comedy writer, visual artist, vo, postprodGrohsAsuncion @AsuncionGrohs
204 Followers 409 FollowingBalwinPok @BalwinPok
91 Followers 259 FollowingTaya Rai @TayaRai6
19 Followers 507 Following 32 year-old old guy from dilwalon ki dilli. Mahira Sharma ka diwanaBrandon Christensen @TheNewBrandonC
167 Followers 1K Following Art person, loves a Meighan, likes music and stuff. 4 time JD Power award winnerjesy @jesyfarnance
170 Followers 788 FollowingTara Tacotta @Smile_alotta
21 Followers 125 Following If I'm witty on Twitter, am I Twitty? Mom. Wife. Acute Care PT. Trying to discharge patients home safe and sound.L @Ann_Hedonia1
2K Followers 2K Following Non-committal hockey fan. Psych student. Part-time nihilist. Pro cat. Film enthusiast. Not fun at parties.Brandie Posey - tour .. @Brandazzle
11K Followers 4K Following Comedian, podcaster, ska kid. @PictureThisShow & @Lady2LadyComedy are my babes. #OpinionCave is my album. 🏁🌹✊💋Slater's 50/50 San Jo.. @SlatersSanJose
262 Followers 263 Following 🍔 Burgers. Bacon. Beer. 📍 925 Blossom Hill Rd., San JoseDoctor Daigle @doctordaigle
1K Followers 2K Following CEO, https://t.co/ydcm7RBxjw 🤖 We provide education, training, certification and AI powered software for individuals & companies wanting to leverage AIDeb Verla - Register .. @villaverla
29K Followers 27K Following 💙 Eternal optimist 💙 Kindness matters 💙 LGBTQ+ ally 💙 #Voterizer Indivisible @FieldTeam_6 🌊 #FBR 🌊 #IFollowBack Threads, Mastadon, Post=@villaverlaTenneyNaumer @NaumerTenney
1K Followers 2K Following Blogger: Climate Change: The Next Generation; CFE, CPA, MBA, MAcci literally do not ca.. @outerspacetaste
2K Followers 5K Following Studio violinist/performer 🎻 #antiracist #transrights ✨LA native (valleyy) #freepalestine #freecongo anarchist but I love all leftists❤️ @pabstbluebaby IGMartin Rodriguez @MartinR23810288
3 Followers 36 FollowingJosh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharksLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.Alex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.ellory smith @ellorysmith
70K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy nominated writer who is always looking for corporate workBrendan Cooney @CooneyOrDie
10K Followers 1K Following Jokester. Long time ago a friend bought me followers to prank me. Link is to my podcast: Raccoon TweetiesEden Dranger @Eden_Eats
91K Followers 642 Following Sorry I don’t have the “NUDES" in my bio you were looking for (I write TV shows and movies).Chris Estrada - Texas.. @ChrisEstrada85
12K Followers 2K Following Stand-up Comic / Star & Co-Creator of @thisfoolhulu / https://t.co/vbztYeLh78 / My Don't Tell Comedy set in the link below.mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
210K Followers 1K Followingandy™ @andylevy
194K Followers 979 Following co-host of the daily beast podcast “the new abnormal.” "one of the former greats" - paul f tompkinsBrian Gaar @briangaar
80K Followers 2K Following Finally a bearded white dude in comedy. https://t.co/z1EDZmqdBo Bluesky: https://t.co/XkLVhTtCfvSean O’Connor @seanoconnz
45K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Writer. Mets fan. SOLAR OPPOSITES (Hulu), CLOSE ENOUGH, Norm MacDonald Live and other shows.Katrina Davis @katrinasivad
3K Followers 2K Following One joke teller’s graveyard of half-thoughts. My first special Figuring It Out is streaming now! https://t.co/P9ecaVgGDhDC Pierson @DCpierson
57K Followers 6K Following Wrote the novels THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SLEEP AND NEVER HAD TO and CRAP KINGDOM. Was in DERRICK. https://t.co/RSs3cRMrDr [email protected] he/himlauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
53K Followers 2K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. my brain is @deeppawghts on IG tiktok: @sbellelaurengianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coachRex Huppke @RexHuppke
96K Followers 1K Following (VERY SERIOUS) @USATODAY humor(ish) columnist. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).Marcella Arguello @marcellacomedy
45K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Known Bitch. HBO special #BitchGrowUp on MAX. Comedy albums: Mercury in Reggaeton & TheWokeBully. Podcast: Comedy Is Dead! ░T░I░X░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░0░Greg Edwards @GregtheGrouch
7K Followers 2K Following Comedy Central/Thug Notes Ridiculousness/MTV/ENTWeekly/BET/ Tavis Smiley/ NYTimes/ Comedian/Actor/Artist https://t.co/lFXCfLvAEDpepper hart is on OF .. @realpepperhart
633 Followers 52 Following your favorite ginger slut is back, and she's hungryTalia Jane @taliaotg
60K Followers 531 Following reporter, researcher, canary in the coal mine🌻100% people-funded🌻tips: [email protected]🌻 expect typos🌻 be good; i love you ❤️🔥🖤Barbara Lee @BarbaraLeeForCA
72K Followers 1K Following California’s Effective Progressive. Candidate for US Senate. Proud Congresswoman from the East Bay. Text 'LEE' to 43100.The Gay Swami @thegay.. @TheGaySwami
807 Followers 1K Following Building Brands and Belting Gin One White Line at a Time.Adam Greene @TheFirstMan
887 Followers 3K Following NFL Writer for https://t.co/qnmonZwQwT and https://t.co/0XWPAM3DFy Writer. Photographer, Funny Person, Man at Arms. https://t.co/2qeFRCQaqG IG: adam.greeneYes on Measure HLA @healthystreetla
788 Followers 111 Following On the March 5, 2024 ballot in the City of Los Angeles! This account is being used for campaign purposes by Healthy Streets LA - Yes on HLA.David Berman Bot @DavidBermanBot
10K Followers 0 Following I tweet David Cloud Berman lyrics & poetry every few hours (Silver Jews, Purple Mountains, Actual Air)Read Let This Radical.. @JoshuaPHilll
318K Followers 2K Following Earthseed | Abolition | Anti-capitalism | (he/him) Join my newsletter at the link in bio 🙏🏻Matt Lieb?? @mattlieb
54K Followers 2K Following Jewwwww, Good @Mythical Morning, Emmy Winning #StarWarsShow, Co-Creator of Newsbroke @AJplus. Shill on Frotcast & @PodYourselfAGun and Bad Hasbara @mostmoralpodChris Fleming @chrisfluming
180K Followers 740 Following you can watch my new special Hell out on Peacock nowWould it dong? @would_it_dong
211K Followers 1 Following In how many parks would that hit have donged? //venmo.com/u/Daniel-Morse…Umpire Scorecards @UmpScorecards
372K Followers 1 Following Umpire Scorecards posted for every game, every day. Find game, team, and umpire data, and FAQs, at the link below. Support us at https://t.co/GTnpOLedZFSarah Lewitinn Patter.. @ultragrrrl
15K Followers 2K Following Famous Jewish Person. Married to an even more famous Jewish person. fuck Elon Musk.mallison ick @allison_mick
3K Followers 2K Following fart noise maker (mouth and butt) horror/comedy writer, visual artist, vo, postprodeduardo jose escobar @escobardelapica
36K Followers 384 Following Baseball Player y de La pica palo negro venezuelaL @Ann_Hedonia1
2K Followers 2K Following Non-committal hockey fan. Psych student. Part-time nihilist. Pro cat. Film enthusiast. Not fun at parties.Dave Kass @dkass
2K Followers 2K Following Sr. Publicity Director : Avid Reader Press : Simon & Schuster : Opinions Are My Own : "The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for."Hona Costello @HonaCostello
131K Followers 144K Following Godfather of Chicago a Fox in sheeps clothing MIXTAPE (Coming Soon) Official: @HonaCostello Blk Fox Recordings / Symphonic #godfatherofchicagoLibby Rose @LibbyTheRose
105 Followers 158 Following I haven’t streamed games on Twitch in a year and only cry some of the time. Generally into garbage culture.Rich Chassler @richchassler
3K Followers 3K Following Actor. Comedian. Writer. Director. Award-winning film maker. Watch my award winning anti-bullying film STOP! https://t.co/dgM7FDPtWEnick griffin @thenickgriffin
20K Followers 6K Following https://t.co/al4O0qbzSP i am a comedian. Conan. Colbert. Letterman. I have a special on amazon. #CheerUp. Also a horror podcast on iTunes called Scary Monsters.sep @okthatwasrude
249 Followers 67 FollowingNamelotsonumbers @Namelotsonumbe1
288 Followers 581 Following Politics, Sports, Wrestling Fan. NY Jew living, working and raising my kid on Oahu since 2007 https://t.co/U36EjcqBOeKrista Doyle @kristakdoyle
3K Followers 994 Following AI marketing @heyjasperai | Ex: @twitter @hbo | 1/3 Off The Clock Pod | Ex @holyswiftpod | Chief Swiftie @taypediaÓgra Shinn Féin @Ogra_SF
41K Followers 31 Following Ireland's largest youth wing: Poblachtánach🇮🇪 Sóisialach🚩 Feimineach♀️ Timpeallachtach♻️ Idirnáisiúnach🌍 Contact: [email protected]Michael Gibson Jr @Nebula_One
1K Followers 4K Following 🇯🇲 born 3x Emmy winning Sr. Producer @NBCDFWCommunity. Co-creator of award winning @AloraFilm. Host @AYE_Pod_. Photographer. Comic. https://t.co/pn7w6wkFvlSamHarter @SlamHarter
2K Followers 972 Following Goods from the woods cyberpunk professional breakdancer tmz live placed 2nd in high times weed olympics comic with disability https://t.co/nSYjJ8hcpWDonutHawk @StruggleDisplay
18K Followers 1K Following My bio doesn’t exist just like my interest in anything Mark Wahlberg.Matthew Tynan @Matthew_Tynan
12K Followers 2K Following Spurs coverage @cknewsletters | Member @ProHoopsWriters | Former: @TheAthleticNBA | Should spend less time on here | matthewtynan on bsky | 🌵Alison the Read @alisontheread
3K Followers 1K Following I have a headache. Probably researching something depressing. Quaker. she/her. https://t.co/OuK118DSunMidge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol𝙣𝙖𝙥𝙤𝙡�.. @NapVeg
8K Followers 6K Following developer alt: @nexxai | inventor of joke x | vaccine enthusiast | 4 time therapy world champion | ▪️P▪️U▪️S▪️S▪️Y▪️ | avi by @gazpachomachine | he/himrich (believe it, pal.. @ohnothatsrich
516 Followers 1K Following contributor @reductress, comedy performer in LA/NY Co-host of @tvpilotslicense podcast, photographer 1989 Soul Train Awards Top .001% on Better HelpJakery never said @jakery
8K Followers 4K Following @jakerydont on TikTok, Twitch, and YouTube. Playing simulation games with far less fear than is appropriate.cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.whatever @e11enLN
2K Followers 2K Following cartoonist, comedian, and writer… special skills include covering up anxiety with dumb jokes she/herHe Called Me Greenhor.. @WhatsAGreenhorn
9K Followers 3K Following He called me Greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.E. B. White Widow @vonDoomstein
619 Followers 960 Following Academy Award-watching writer, voice actor, and audio engineer. Credits: Cyanide & Happiness Shorts, Freakpocalypse, et ceteraelon musk is my fathe.. @kariassad
4K Followers 471 Following please put on live comedy show thank you🇨🇦 Garth Collin.. @Voiceofgarth
10K Followers 6K Following Voice overs and narration from the wintry woods of Western Canada. Pro-science secular humanist.the fact that biden is laughing at snl skits proves he’s too old to be president.
Went to the CUNY Solidarity Encampment today. Vibe was very chill, sweet, and dorky. While I was there they had a teach in about the connection between the NYPD and IDF followed by a reading of Palestinian poetry. The encampment felt well organized but not hierarchical.
It’s sad that there is a perfect form of protest that addresses everything the right way and solves the problems being protested and is serious without being threatening and peaceful without being frivolous, but no one is allowed to know what it is :(
Columbia University students think this dance will somehow ‘Free Palestine.’
Whoever gets paid to tweet this I want their job
What’s the vibe w bird flu like do we have to be afraid of it
I stay making plans & life just be pulling out his dick & peeing all over my lil bitty plans.
You can’t call something a dive bar and have craft cocktails. It’s not an affect or branding. You need a guy with a bald spot and a ponytail. I need to believe you could have a donkey show in here and it’d be a draw
That town has declared war on South Dakota #KristiNoemIsAMonster
So annoying when hiking actually improves my mood
Seeing a rattlesnake and saluting before screaming and running away.
Not drinking at a bachelorette party and instead having 2500 cups of juice and soda
She stays losing
Sonja Christopher -- the first person ever voted off the show "Survivor" -- has died. 🕊 All we know 👉 tmz.me/fJIrlTp
I’m tired of being told I need to vote when I don’t respect or trust any of the candidates. I’ve never respected a politician - they are all lying crooks. I’m tired of the whole “you just gotta pick your poison” stance.
Idk who needs to hear this but dont expect all the students involved to be perfect little activists, especially with this large a movement. Yeah, some of them do just want selfies, thats just how it goes. Focusing on them is not helpful. Instead our eyes should be on the leaders.
Please, I need
David Cross and Bob Odenkirk were meant to star in a docu-style comedy about rival cult gurus manipulating the minds of their deluded followers. The series got scrapped as the analytics & marketing department didn’t get it. (Source: variety.com/2024/tv/news/d…)
@EvanJKessler I just saw a Jamari Thrash. Great football name.
i don’t understand why universities who refuse to divest from israel are getting mad about protestors camping out. i thought they looooove occupied land