The Local Savage @KnackF
this is THE hub for hilarious savageroasts!! dm me for inquiries!! ✊ twitter.com/KnackF/timelin… Joined June 2014-
Tweets225
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Followers36
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Following127
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Likes486
Another unrealistic standard for women implemented by the media
Son, I didn't buy you an iPad so you could talk to me alright, I don't care about how your day at school was, play games
911: what's your emergency Me: SIR I NEED HELP NOW, I AM CURRENTLY BEING ROASTED IN THE GROUPCHAT COME QUICKLY
ALERT: THE FIRST 1000 PEOPLE TO FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT WILL RECEIVE FREE AWESOME TWEETS
@TheTimmyToes I have a feeling this is a load of crap
@stephenjmolloy this sounds pretty desperate but I never caught your mailing address so this kinda sucks
I wip out a ham sandwich but it's just 2 oatmeal cream pies between a couple pieces of yarn
@i_eat_fruit perhaps it's pronounced "ham sandwich"?
Priest: Good morning everyone! Merry Christmas! From crowd: wow, could we please use 'Happy Holidays'
@dongfuture like you could make a lil pizza and by the time you were done makin it, they wouldn't even be famous anymore
@Cheese_Pile "diarrhea'ed" Is that like the possessive form or..
Son (very kind and gently)- "dad I love you" "Hey bud what did I say about talking to me?"
@TheTimmyToes where's the logic in this tweet? What's the point? How is this possible? How could one have so much hair? Or such big toes?
"Dad, can we eat food please? I love you" He asked so nicely but I know I can't give in- "Hey bud, what did I say about talking to me"
@imskytrash nah... It's a cow just layin in some grass
Family tree: John Johnson Johnsonson Johnsonsonson Johnsonsonsonson
APEX WORX @TheApexBros
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Propose a toast @toast_club
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Life is beautiful @mazro_a
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M @yossarean1
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Dave Callan @davecallantwit
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tick [tap to view] @achewave
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an pigeon @imskytrash
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Grover @XGroverX
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Glenn Loury 2.0 Darke... @justabloodygame
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Brandon McCarthy @BMcCarthy32
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dan mentos @DanMentos
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Brian M. M. Doyle @WritePlay
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Michael Erhart @MichaelJErhart
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@[email protected]... @philmann
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gerry hall @gerryhallcomedy
5K Followers 5K Following Owner of two, count 'em TWO, televisions. https://t.co/HVph4oI6qB
the freaky franchise @jimmytorosian
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Jeffw @Jeffwni
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Ben @0point5twins
13K Followers 588 Following I write jokes and longer stuff. Occasionally for money. Now also at: https://t.co/OK3aAqVOqY
Pete Lynch @PJTLynch
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Joe West @joejwest
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Michael is cool and n... @mikeylarrick
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denise @Stellacopter
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regular keith @ghostkrogh
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