Martimar @MMLumpy_Oatmeal
Joined January 2015-
Tweets576
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Followers478
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Following1K
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Likes936
Martimar retweeted
When another man step inside the octagon to fight you,he deserve that you take him seriously. Congrats Michael Bisbin! Amazing performance
Martimar retweeted
I worry I'm wasting my life until I remember I run a twitter account that entertains literally tens of people every month.
Martimar retweeted
95% of the time when Im smiling at my phone it's bc of something I said, not something someone sent me. Im hilarious
Martimar retweeted
Who named it "Viagra" ..... and not "Miracle Grow" ?
Martimar retweeted
[during sex] You're asleep, aren't you?
Martimar retweeted
If you hear, "I got chills" and don't automatically think, "they're multiplying", we can't be friends.
Martimar retweeted
Just ate some kale and now I don't know what to do. Like, do I drive to a yoga class? Buy an ironic shirt? Disinfect myself with Whiskey?
Martimar retweeted
You make me want to be a stabbier person.
Martimar retweeted
Has anyone ever noticed that Caitlin Jenner has man hands?
Martimar retweeted
That delete tweet option is a pretty important tool to have in your drinking and tweeting arsenal.
Martimar retweeted
I was born without that thing that resists temptation.
Martimar retweeted
Sugar&Stone team up to take the belt from Russia Memorial Weekend May 28th 2016 @GilaRivArena
Martimar retweeted
Fap, fap, fap, is just the sound my upper arm now makes when I wave at people. Welcome to 40's hell.
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