Sarah Kendall @Sarah_Kendall
comedian, writer, AI-generated thirst trap Joined April 2009-
Tweets1K
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Followers34K
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Following461
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Likes25K
SNL deleted their "Legally Blonde: The Musical" teen production parody from their YouTube Channel so I am re-uploading it bc it is important for the culture
I love when people show up with the facts. Makes me all tingly. 🥰
I’m calling it: the guy is a serial killer. The t-shirt is him giving you fair warning.
I’m calling it: the guy is a serial killer. The t-shirt is him giving you fair warning.
Don’t get me wrong: I despise this man. But most photo shoots do generally look and feel this pathetic.
Don’t get me wrong: I despise this man. But most photo shoots do generally look and feel this pathetic.
This is not goofy. A goof will: -smear chocolate brownie in the napkin and pretend to wipe her bum -pour ketchup into a tissue, blow her nose and pretend it’s a medical crisis -pepper conversations with ‘asphinctersayswhat?’ so that you say ‘what?’ My culture is not a costume.
First they came for Tzatziki, and I did not speak out
First they came for Tzatziki, and I did not speak out
He sings just like Woody Allen!
He sings just like Woody Allen!
Horse ate peeking through the W
Horse ate peeking through the W
And yet when I swallow a beach towel I get nothing but insults.
And yet when I swallow a beach towel I get nothing but insults.
Bottom right has ambition and I like that in a bat.
Bottom right has ambition and I like that in a bat.
This is always worth the wait.
This is always worth the wait.
Also seduced Jackie Collins when she was 15.
Also seduced Jackie Collins when she was 15.
It was shot on location, on the Planet of the Apes. How did they even get there? Wait. Oh my god. OH MY GOD
It was shot on location, on the Planet of the Apes. How did they even get there? Wait. Oh my god. OH MY GOD
I have 10,000 of these cooked and ready to serve.
I have 10,000 of these cooked and ready to serve.
Yes I’m grieving that I’ve finished all eps of the fucking glorious #girls5eva and I ALSO just realised that when Sara Bareilles saw Richard Kind she said ‘Bing Bong!’ and Paula Pell voiced Riley’s dream director in Inside Out. I’m fun.
Holy moly Girls5Eva is so fucking hilarious. I just accidentally inhaled all 3 seasons in one week. Someone please make more pleeeeeeaaaasssse
This looks like Joe Biden, Barack Obama Bill Clinton, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes are celebrating Jason Bateman’s release from a foreign prison.
I love that Chi has responded to this nasty bullying schoolyard bitch shit by just being her talented hilarious self ❤️
I love that Chi has responded to this nasty bullying schoolyard bitch shit by just being her talented hilarious self ❤️
In true form, my Nanna’s given us one last laugh…as my Dad’s been sorting her funeral he found her Mum’s birth certificate and therefore discovered the name of HER Nanna. Excuse me while I get up off the floor to catch my breath
Nature is so gross
Nature is so gross
Ed Gamble @EdGambleComedy
274K Followers 2K Following Extra dates to my brand new tour on sale now👇 Photo by @MrMattCrockett he/him
Mark Watson @watsoncomedian
262K Followers 4K Following ‘One of the most genuinely joyous presences in comedy’ - The Times. Tour dates and book details on website. Personal messages https://t.co/4P0kjAp17O
Taskmaster @taskmaster
280K Followers 160 Following Official account for #Taskmaster. New episodes Thursdays at 9pm on Channel 4. Watch full episodes on All4 and YouTube.
Nish Kumar @MrNishKumar
451K Followers 2K Following Comedian & great friend. Albums: https://t.co/3mphPZ5HDp (He/him) Pic by @JazzShaniceArt co-host of @podsavetheuk
Rhys James @rhysjamesy
112K Followers 1K Following Former young comedian. Not a surname to his name.
Katherine Ryan @Kathbum
764K Followers 1K Following I make comedy very very well or very very poorly depending on whom you ask. My life is my message - Gandhi via Matthew McConaughey
Lucy Beaumont @LucyABeaumont
106K Followers 2K Following Writer of Meet The Richardsons, C4's Hullraisers & Radio4's To Hull and Back. Podcast https://t.co/4beZjcyamT
Greg Davies @gdavies
695K Followers 805 Following Full Fat Legend tour tickets available via https://t.co/3AFSyykLay, if you fancy coming
David O'Doherty @phlaimeaux
206K Followers 1K Following my forthcoming shows are here: https://t.co/52WSyy2273 my albums are at https://t.co/2KPcpQVVs7
Kerry Godliman @KerryAGodliman
206K Followers 938 Following #WhitstablePearl #AfterLife #Derek #SaveMe #LiveAtTheApollo #MockTheWeek #Taskmaster #AdultMaterial #TriggerPoint #Bosh https://t.co/3o1yqOQItU
Greg Jenner @greg_jenner
141K Followers 11K Following Public Historian FRHistS 🎙Host & creator of #YoureDeadToMe on @bbcsounds 📖Author of 5 books 📺 Series 1-8 BBCHorribleHistories ⚽️ Spurs #COYS
KSB @kfRedhot
55K Followers 887 Following The guy from that thing. Lord Forgive Me For My Scenes 🎬 Ghosts | Stath Lets Flats | Taskmaster S15 [email protected]
Ivo Graham @IvoGraham
84K Followers 3K Following comedian / prank victim / published blatherer as of Sep 24
Angela Barnes @AngelaBarnes
65K Followers 1K Following Comedian. https://t.co/CJfINABjRx Inexpert F1 rambling. ADHD. History Nerd (esp Cold War) Bunkers. Podcast: @wearehistorypod with @mrjohnofarrell
Jack Bernhardt @jackbern23
16K Followers 2K Following Informative and sexy at the same time Horrible Histories; Taskmaster: People's Podcast; Dogs In Space; @footiebookclub he/him
Ed Byrne @MrEdByrne
433K Followers 2K Following Stand up comedian except when on panel shows. Then, sit down comedian.
Glenn Moore (Insta: @.. @TheNewsAtGlenn
51K Followers 946 Following Comedian, and nephew to three gorgeous uncles. Enquiries: [email protected]
@mrchrisaddison@dizl... @mrchrisaddison
364K Followers 2K Following Spy. Dammit! Ex-spy. “Imagine a child’s drawing of a magic leek.” - @captainward who/whom Contact: [email protected] Avi pic: @ClaraMolden. I mute killjoys.
Connor Lawton @ConnorLawton15
195 Followers 404 Following
Alice Beverton-Palmer @alicebevpalm
9K Followers 4K Following Entertainment and culture partnerships and strategy • @PushTheButton @Dorothy_Podcast • formerly @Twitter @PinkNews • she/her
Kazoostic @allanjgill88
22 Followers 104 Following
Mandy Mullender @mandy_penguin
389 Followers 2K Following Photographer. Sports writer & Deputy Editor at @crewontwo @motogp / @f1 ❤🏁 Stay safe 😊
Rach / Comedy Geek @GeekRach
5 Followers 63 Following She / Her. I'm Rach, 25, I'm bisexual, a little on the spectrum. I love 3 things, James Acaster, Boobs, and Food. Here to make comedy friends!
nightmareofstu @nightmareofstu
65 Followers 847 Following
j @alamofgod
58 Followers 69 Following
Kenneth Maguire @kguy09
1 Followers 1K Following
bleepagain @bleepagain
142 Followers 202 Following
Ariyah Luciano @AriyahLuci44864
15 Followers 394 Following
Euan Hamilton @FoggsMcGlasses
113 Followers 859 Following Avid indoorsman. Gas powered. Definitely not a robot... probably. He/him. Header image: @jgilleard
Michelle John @MichelleJohn820
265 Followers 7K Following Best Chanalls for(Smart Tv, Android Devices,STB,Firstick,meg Box) Available in affordable prices https://t.co/OmwgqAkppO
f’anni @portraitonfire1
53 Followers 326 Following gay yearning - president of the 25 minute nap club
hoardandroar2 @hoardandroar2
239 Followers 1K Following Third time i've had to make an account! I should add, not cos I have been cancelled, but I can never seem to log back in once I get logged out.
Clem @ClemThePhlegm
0 Followers 2 Following
Anthony Collins @AnthonyECollins
266 Followers 1K Following Filmmaker, Writer, Cyclist. Living the dream in Ventnor Isle of Wight.
David Pearson @DavidPe43979100
29 Followers 40 Following
Jon Bone @BeardyJayBee
223 Followers 829 Following Father,son,gamer,musician. Child psychology MSc graduate.Children’s Wellbeing Practitioner, Norfolk. My views are my own. Top bloke.
Veep @PrincessofVP
2K Followers 846 Following Collaboratrix. Author. Poet. Love will make it better. Spreader of joy. Champion of the superfluous indulgence of whatsits. She/Her
Frank Marvin🇺🇸 @FrankMarvi155
239 Followers 3K Following ✝️🇺🇸🇧🇷🙏I'm a cardio thoracic surgeon in contract with the United nations... God first.. Family is all that we've got... letting love lead....
Sammi🦚 @walkingmoose_
184 Followers 412 Following exhaustion personified | there's a method to my madness and a madness to my method
Grant Wilkinson @grantjwilkinson
52 Followers 279 Following
m 🩷💜💙 @hi_imashoutyman
83 Followers 204 Following they call me escalator because i let people down (she/they, 17)
John Gallagher @JohnGal81750537
738 Followers 3K Following
Jeremy Clancy @jeremyclancy
7K Followers 6K Following 🍉 Award-winning filmmaker/creative director, working with trade unions charities and grassroot organisations. DM me to collaborate 🇵🇸
Paul McCabe @PwaulyMacca
27 Followers 404 Following
fleur is semi-ia @fleeurlunn
184 Followers 356 Following it's not torqouise. it's not lapis. it's CERULEAN
InSirJimWeTrust24 @liamo1985X23
1K Followers 8K Following
JOHN BARNARD @tricklecharge
10 Followers 1K Following
gulseren adakli @GulserenAdakli
278 Followers 265 Following thinks, discusses, researches on the political economy of communication and other crap. trying to migrate from bird thing to #mastodon @[email protected]
baz @tldr_baz
222 Followers 200 Following
Paul Reilly @PaulReilly77
2 Followers 114 Following
Robyn Djuritschek �.. @RockinRobyn91
200 Followers 453 Following Legal alien, Northerner in the South 🤷🏼♀️
michelle foreman @mich_foreman
331 Followers 1K Following Elle/She/Her - Acadienne - Néo-Brunswickoise - Lover of British panel shows
Little Baby Idiot @andywattscomedy
444 Followers 866 Following Best table manners in the game 🐴 🤠 Comedian. Comics in link below 🌱
Giles Paley-Phillips @eliistender10
399K Followers 110K Following I write books, films & produce. Half @forgotpodcast @unquestionpod founder @eightdigitsltd Ambassador for @actionaidUK Repped by @WGMAtlantic
Jim Farrell @0308_jimbob
455 Followers 1K Following
Michael Freeman @MichaelFre64187
123 Followers 160 Following Insta nuked and Twitter nuked , having to start again
Ed Gamble @EdGambleComedy
274K Followers 2K Following Extra dates to my brand new tour on sale now👇 Photo by @MrMattCrockett he/him
Mark Watson @watsoncomedian
262K Followers 4K Following ‘One of the most genuinely joyous presences in comedy’ - The Times. Tour dates and book details on website. Personal messages https://t.co/4P0kjAp17O
Alex Horne @AlexHorne
375K Followers 1K Following Will tell you about things I do here: Taskmaster Universe, Horne Section nonsense, occasional other stuff.
Rosie Jones @josierones
221K Followers 477 Following Talk funny. Walk funny. Write funny. https://t.co/f5larHvkds
Nish Kumar @MrNishKumar
451K Followers 2K Following Comedian & great friend. Albums: https://t.co/3mphPZ5HDp (He/him) Pic by @JazzShaniceArt co-host of @podsavetheuk
Rhys James @rhysjamesy
112K Followers 1K Following Former young comedian. Not a surname to his name.
Katherine Ryan @Kathbum
764K Followers 1K Following I make comedy very very well or very very poorly depending on whom you ask. My life is my message - Gandhi via Matthew McConaughey
Lucy Beaumont @LucyABeaumont
106K Followers 2K Following Writer of Meet The Richardsons, C4's Hullraisers & Radio4's To Hull and Back. Podcast https://t.co/4beZjcyamT
Greg Davies @gdavies
695K Followers 805 Following Full Fat Legend tour tickets available via https://t.co/3AFSyykLay, if you fancy coming
David O'Doherty @phlaimeaux
206K Followers 1K Following my forthcoming shows are here: https://t.co/52WSyy2273 my albums are at https://t.co/2KPcpQVVs7
Kerry Godliman @KerryAGodliman
206K Followers 938 Following #WhitstablePearl #AfterLife #Derek #SaveMe #LiveAtTheApollo #MockTheWeek #Taskmaster #AdultMaterial #TriggerPoint #Bosh https://t.co/3o1yqOQItU
Greg Jenner @greg_jenner
141K Followers 11K Following Public Historian FRHistS 🎙Host & creator of #YoureDeadToMe on @bbcsounds 📖Author of 5 books 📺 Series 1-8 BBCHorribleHistories ⚽️ Spurs #COYS
KSB @kfRedhot
55K Followers 887 Following The guy from that thing. Lord Forgive Me For My Scenes 🎬 Ghosts | Stath Lets Flats | Taskmaster S15 [email protected]
Ivo Graham @IvoGraham
84K Followers 3K Following comedian / prank victim / published blatherer as of Sep 24
Angela Barnes @AngelaBarnes
65K Followers 1K Following Comedian. https://t.co/CJfINABjRx Inexpert F1 rambling. ADHD. History Nerd (esp Cold War) Bunkers. Podcast: @wearehistorypod with @mrjohnofarrell
Ed Byrne @MrEdByrne
433K Followers 2K Following Stand up comedian except when on panel shows. Then, sit down comedian.
Glenn Moore (Insta: @.. @TheNewsAtGlenn
51K Followers 946 Following Comedian, and nephew to three gorgeous uncles. Enquiries: [email protected]
@mrchrisaddison@dizl... @mrchrisaddison
364K Followers 2K Following Spy. Dammit! Ex-spy. “Imagine a child’s drawing of a magic leek.” - @captainward who/whom Contact: [email protected] Avi pic: @ClaraMolden. I mute killjoys.
Amy Gledhill (insta: .. @ThatGledhill
8K Followers 2K Following Hull born comedian. On yer telly sometimes. Half of The Delightful Sausage @mmmsausage 🌭 Co-host of @northernnewspodcast 🗞 Triple Edinburgh Nominee 🤯
Andrew O’Neill ☉ @destructo9000
16K Followers 1K Following Comedian. Guitar & vocals. They/them. Good Omens 2, Damned Andrew, A History Of Heavy Metal, Meltzer. Podcast: The Inadvisable Trapdoor.
Johnny Leary @johnnyjohnleary
1K Followers 482 Following Charming conversationalist. Actor. #TheNewsreader, @glitchtv, @theletdowntv. Host of @TheSaturdayQuiz podcast which you should listen to.
Daniel Fearn @OurManFearn
497 Followers 222 Following Actor in stuff. Plays the role of Dave in 'Things You Should Have Done' (BBC) IMDb: https://t.co/vs30Hr8FB9… Agent: GDA Mountview grad
Kirstie Swain @kirstwithanie
5K Followers 2K Following Screenwriter. PURE on @All4. Currently writing SWEETPEA for Sky Atlantic. BAFTA Breakthrough Brit. Rep'd by Lark & UTA. (she/her) 🏴
Lorraine King @lorrainemking
28K Followers 5K Following Proud mum, ex-journalist and record collector on @colourfulradio every Saturday at 10am playing soul on vinyl-only 🎶 Unafraid of most things except spiders
Missy Elliott @MissyElliott
6.9M Followers 11K Following I Stan for GOD Period! I AM THE DEFINITION of AVANT GARDE👏🏾 #COOLOFF video out NOW 🥶🔥 https://t.co/88rqLDoHVU
nathan fielder @nathanfielder
548K Followers 238 Following
out of context 30 Roc.. @30rockposts
19K Followers 4 Following
Ben Canham @wweisawesome123
47K Followers 3K Following Official Twitter Account for Ben Canham | Online Activist | Featured on @ITVNews and @STVNews I love raising awareness for autism. I love all of my friends.
Sam O’Leary @mrSamOLeary
5K Followers 380 Following Director, Animator, Northern Clown. Inside No 9 (BBC 2), Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (C4), (C4) Co-Host of @adultfilmclub_ 😞
Matthew Highton @MattHighton
29K Followers 919 Following Comedian, filmmaker and weirdo... Once shook the pillars of heaven. KoFi: https://t.co/ma0qepfxIQ
Rosamund Urwin @RosamundUrwin
50K Followers 3K Following Media editor, The Sunday Times. Passionate about maternal health. For stories and tips please email me: [email protected]
WriteFilmSleepRepeat .. @SongoftheOss
5K Followers 5K Following Screenwriter Director | @KermitMash | @Screencrafting Finalist | #WGGB #Podcast #SupportIndieFilm #WritingCommunity #TheSkewer @MonsoonJackson @Commemoratepod1
Alice Tovey @AliceTovey
1K Followers 1K Following Comedian, singer-songwriter and your mum // Writer and producer for TV. Ocassional writer for the paper // 🍉 she/her/they/them 🏳️🌈
chris evans @notcapnamerica
211K Followers 5K Following ✊🏽🏳️🌈 Small business owner. Receipts provider 🧾 Movie live-tweeter. business inquiries: [email protected]
Sarah Phelps @PhelpsieSarah
44K Followers 4K Following Screenwriter. Pervert. BBC Monster. Befuddler of Lord Sugar. Broken, sweaty ape. @phelpsiesarah.bsky.social
Franchesca Ramsey @chescaleigh
247K Followers 3K Following tv writer, producer, actress | podcast: #LemmeFixIt - as of 11/29/23 tweets by FR assistant Chloe
Lucy Prebble @lucyprebblish
55K Followers 2K Following Writer. The Effect. I Hate Suzie. I Hate Suzie Too. Succession. Various plays. The leftover lines go here.
Mr. Bob Odenkirk @mrbobodenkirk
1.2M Followers 84 Following Mr. Show, Better Call Saul, Nobody, then there's this, my favoritest thing: ZILOT, a book of silly poems I writ with my kids. OCTOBER 10 in stores for all!!
Peter Gould @petergould
135K Followers 813 Following Writer. Breaking Bad, Too Big To Fail. Better Call Saul! Threads: Mrpetergould @petergould.bsky.social https://t.co/h8DbFhJWCn
Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer
505K Followers 2K Following michael spicer: no room on bbc sounds and radio 4 subscribe now please
sarah thom @worldofthom
795 Followers 2K Following Actor,water-seeker, mom, part-tîme idiot with a political conscience, @realclintonb’s Karen, Joan in R4’s Clare in the Community @jewellwrightltd @harveyvoices
Ignacio Lopez @comedylopez
25K Followers 3K Following Spain's Best Export. Represented by: [email protected]
Ahir Shah @AhirShah
32K Followers 857 Following Kali Yuga experiencer // award-winning show ENDS @ Edinburgh Fringe August 12 - 23 https://t.co/Fm3oKbFklF
matt @mattxiv
412K Followers 154 Following queer jew w very long nails, host of a bit fruity, he/they
Bergsauce fka klaus_k.. @klaus_kinski
2K Followers 503 Following Bell/End. Since 2006 BrooklynVegan's one-time Brooklyn-based Comedy Editor, now an Amsterdam-based… thing. Never a vegan. Never a comedian.
David Firth (Salad Fi.. @DAVID_FIRTH
165K Followers 504 Following Animation and stuff. SALAD FINGERS PLUSH TOYS! (+other merch) https://t.co/vDgHdiNqY8
Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg
5.6M Followers 3K Following Autistic climate justice activist Born at 375 ppm
Count Arthur Strong�.. @Arthur_Strong
32K Followers 1K Following Also at: [email protected] Contact: [email protected] Available for V/O's for teabag commercials etc or alcohol ones
Luca Cupani 🇺🇦 @lucacupani
830 Followers 768 Following Award-winning Comedian 🥈2023 Runner-up @sfcomedycompetition 🌍Italian & British (📍London)
The Comedy Nerd @thecomedynerd
136 Followers 594 Following 40+ years archive of enjoying live comedy. London comedy gig guide and Comedy in a Nutshell podcast on my website
Dane Baptiste/A$ap BA.. @DaneBaptweets
26K Followers 4K Following comedian, presenter, host, hard dough bread eater booking enquiries: [email protected]
Bilal Zafar | TOURING.. @Zafarcakes
19K Followers 1K Following TOUR: https://t.co/GQv3qdHGzX Agent: [email protected]
Jimmy Kimmel Live @JimmyKimmelLive
2.1M Followers 3K Following The official Twitter for Jimmy Kimmel Live with @JimmyKimmel on ABC! We have fun. #Kimmel
Neil Delamere @neildelamere
42K Followers 1K Following Comic. TV and radio sometimes. Reps: Ireland [email protected] Britain [email protected] Tour tickets at
philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_
398K Followers 3K Following detroit native. deputy editor @huffpost. subscribe to my free newsletter below! 👇🏾
Paul Litchfield @MrPLitchfield
5K Followers 790 Following Kind of a comedian. Slightly an actor. Sort of a writer. Thinks in Times New Roman but speaks in Helvetica. https://t.co/CWJEaJeQcJ (it goes on gin)
Today is the birthday of the legendary philosopher-emperor Marcus Aurelius, one of history’s wisest and most quotable figures. So, in honor of the great man, here are 10 of his most powerful quotes (annotated by me):
1. “It is not death that one should fear, but never beginning to live.” Is there much difference between spending all day on Twitter and being a corpse?
Are you ok babe? You’ve hardly touched your Gonster….
man in cafe who wants everyone to know he’s a singer-songwriter
Apparently @Sarah_Kendall has a doppelgänger In Edinburgh. Unfortunately I discovered this on the Cowgate whilst very drunk. Cue me thinking “shitting hell I’m in no state for this” and then realising she spoke in an American accent. Never been so relieved.
that one sittin on the paper gettin ate
Last night we worked out WHY comics rarely socialise without a gig to do.
I can never remember if seeing blood-soaked horses galloping through the streets is good luck or bad luck
Moment escaped Household Cavalry horses rampage through London
A Tory victory in London on 2 May would embolden science deniers around the world. The Tories have changed the voting system, so if you care about our planet, vote @SadiqKhan on 2 May.
'Do you believe that?' 'No.' 'Why did you post it?' 'I don't know.' @TomSwarbrick1 challenges Susan Hall after she reposted an article stating, 'It is a delusion that humans can control the climate'.
@Sarah_Kendall @ScriptsByJames She was so so great, I would legit watch a spinoff of just Detective's Assistant Emily From Newcastle (by all means share this tweet w the Sky commisioners). Hope she gets more roles that make their way to this side of the Pacific!
Lots of new followers, so I’d better post this just in case you haven’t seen it. The greatest video in internet history. Everyone should see it.
@ScriptsByJames Gonna use the fact this person's tweet thread is popular to say Frayed is criminally underappreciated & you, the girl reading this, should watch it. Plus s/o @Sarah_Kendall for giving the people what we want w this character: A surprisingly charming dolt
@Sarah_Kendall I mean, you do have form in this area. x.com/thatgledhill/s…
Last night we worked out WHY comics rarely socialise without a gig to do.
Enjoying the @Sarah_Kendall vibes to this. x.com/derek_eads/sta…
rewatching Frayed for the billionth time and I fear I will stay awake forever wondering why there isn’t more of it @Sarah_Kendall is a bloody genius
This moment from the new Steve Martin documentary where he’s remembering John Candy…damn man.
one time i saw ants eating jizz out of a used condom on the ground in a parking lot
Even ants know what you should be eating.
SNL deleted their "Legally Blonde: The Musical" teen production parody from their YouTube Channel so I am re-uploading it bc it is important for the culture
This girl is eating every single man in her comments for lunch & it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time
A man at a bar mansplained Fleetwood Mac to me
gotta say I was not expecting that when they cut to the wide shot
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