Cats and Bongs @SimpleStarlight
day care provider, mother of six cats, committed lesbian Joined February 2014-
Tweets963
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Followers77
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Following277
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Likes371
Cats and Bongs retweeted
How many half glasses of wine equal one glass of wine? Please say five.
Cats and Bongs retweeted
I know its a bit soon but.. I think I'm in lust with you.
Cats and Bongs retweeted
Teen me: *sprays air freshener to mask weed smell from parents* Adult me: *sprays air freshener to mask weed smell from kids*
Cats and Bongs retweeted
"Least I gots a purty mouf" I say to myself, smearing coffee off my chin and my shirt with my sleeve.
Cats and Bongs retweeted
I fell in love with you the moment you let me.
Kids asked if I have a baby in my tummy, next day asked if my girlfriend is my sister, today they said I have small boobies. Thanks
Walnuts are not carrots, but they're seafood
Cats and Bongs retweeted
Bit of a rough patch. ~ Me, since 2008
I just want someone to make out with..
Why is the dating social hour also the time to sleep
That feeling when you wake up at a friend's house first.... But you're 22 now
Ive found better things than learning
Cats and Bongs retweeted
Too much of my workday is spent trying to find my cursor.
Cats and Bongs retweeted
Psychiatrist: Anti-depressants will just curb your sadness. Me: They won't make me happy? Psych: No... You'll still need tequila for that.
😢 can I get a copy of the last picture in #ParksandRecFinale
Library phone calls about vodka handles and house bowls. Smart dude
Cats and Bongs retweeted
Woke up naked and confused. That second bottle of wine did me dirty
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