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Tweets6K
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Followers1K
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Following157
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Likes45K
Today’s Lichtenstein sightings. 🤗 #tatemodern
I hate it when I’m outside & an insect lands & crawls on my glasses & for a split second I think aliens have invaded.
My friends are sad to drop their kids off at college. Meanwhile, mine don’t leave for two more weeks, and I can’t wait to have the house to myself.
At least one person in a marriage should be able to whistle.
I still avoid stepping on cracks so I won’t break my mother’s back.
If I don’t have a milk frother, it’s considered camping.
I can't tackle you with a fire suppression blanket unless I practice.
*sliding onto stool* Bartender, one whiskey. And enough sun to scorch the earth.
the smaller the dog, the more room they take up on the bed
Revisiting the traditional Norwegian folk art known as Rosemåling, with its stylised depictions of scrolls, flowers & geometric forms, in this impressive interior house decoration by Olav Hanssen, 1784 (Heddal Open-air Museum, Norway, photo: Lisa Amalie Elle)
I’m watching The Durrells in Corfu, and now I want a pet sloth. ❤️
[jaw clenched with nostalgia]
Marly @VerbsRProudest
10K Followers 5K Following Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvinJohn Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICABoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVAnnie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishPlaying Ball Owen Mea.. @NotOwenMeany
3K Followers 3K Following 80% faux snobbery, 20% actual snobbery. Even I'm not sure which is which. He/Him. Same on Bluesky.Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug
75K Followers 16K Following writer of dumb tweets, founder of the @LuvPugFDN for homeless & disabled animals 🐾 🐾🐾Instagram: -luvpugpetcare -harrywaddlebottom -luvpugfoundationDarla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMASGreg @Greg_RaineyOR
28 Followers 249 Following Sales Person for Kingsmill, Runner, LRiF at Ormeau Runners, Husband and Dad to a beautiful wife and daughter. #lifegoals #fitness #love #liveyourbestlife🖤ᴮˡᵒⁿᵈᵉ.. @Vuitt0nandVodka
341 Followers 1K Following ₴нё/нєя 𝑆ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑡'𝑠 𝑟𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔. 𝐻𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑙𝑒𝑠𝑠. ♏️☀️♓️🌙♎️⬆️ 𝑁𝑆𝐹𝑊DanielKenyon @DanKenyonIsHere
62 Followers 234 Following There's a time and a place for profanity, for laughter, and cocktails. https://t.co/mX5pyjbdljUnsoundPages @unsoundpages
2K Followers 5K Following ⭐️Musical Artist⭐️ Check out my music: https://t.co/CkTxippvjv Avatar is me 👍 Also: @Unsound_PagesStill Here? @ischarstillhere
4K Followers 3K Following Disgruntled middle-aged wine mom 🍷Numbing my angst with wine, food, clothing, perfume, music, culture, and sarcasm. Here for humor, not politics or perversion.KJ @KJ95755784
522 Followers 5K Followinglinda son @lindaso58506216
15 Followers 80 FollowingAngelina Faith🖤⛓ @Cemetery_Lover
595 Followers 1K Following 21, Reptile mom, cat mom, bookworm, stoner, witchy vibes 🖤🦎🕸🍄⛓📚Gene @GeneFMyburgh
3K Followers 4K Following Atheist. Science, astronomy and space interests. Wood turning enthusiast. RTs not necessarily endorsements. Durbanville, Cape Town, South Africa.💯ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕫�.. @Crazy_ButCute2
248K Followers 14K Following I lift things up and put them down. I love food. I look good naked. link in bio 💁🏼♀️ SLE/Fibro warrior! Every day stronger 💪🏻❤️💯The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A terrible supercat who graduated from "Foot in Mouth" University with high marks.. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.glenaim @glenaim
528 Followers 1K Following Jehovahs Witness,Married since 1994,got Pure-OCD,Autism,aphantasia and depression.the Pure o is worse than the other 4 put together!Rick Riley @RickRiley45
446 Followers 2K Following Once upon a time I had Twitter... @45Tricks but they killed it because I took a break... bugger...fupa troopa @docile_apostle
1K Followers 5K Following just tryin to get more followers than my employerKim @kimberly_booher
252 Followers 770 Following #educator #photographer 📸PittsburghPirates 💛🖤💛 #cancersurvivor No DMs please . https://t.co/N5rmWGvIUWEric Caro @amERICanDream21
377 Followers 2K Following The Latin Lover of Asia!!!! Surgical Tech Life. Snowboarding Life.◤✞ 𝐎𝐩𝐢.. @opiaticus
2K Followers 2K Following I am addicted to prescription glasses....If you block me you will not be getting my yearly Christmas card.Tanya Miller-Berns @Lorriane125
740 Followers 5K Following I'm A 43 Year Old Woman Who Loves To Spend Time With My Husband And Family And Friends And I'm A Fan 98 Degrees And Taylor SwiftWILL M ☕️🌿👽.. @Sippin_Def_Ale
962 Followers 3K Following #greensolutions.. #pitbullrescue #unfuckthemind #CowboyNation #squatchinthesewoods #DiamondDog Represented by @kdubbs222 ESQ, PA & consiglieri.. $WillKMcKris Kim @kriskimkris
71 Followers 521 FollowingJasonal Weight @WeiJason21
12 Followers 2K Following Global citizen,love China, speak for China, defend for China.James Michael Myers @MyersSCUBA
1K Followers 5K Following ֎ Architect and SCUBA Instructor ֍ 𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖔𝖜𝖓𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖕𝖍𝖔𝖙𝖔𝖘...John Brennan @JohnBre81023563
136 Followers 591 Following🍍ℕ𝕒𝕦𝕥�.. @PinaMyPineapple
14K Followers 7K Following Mahalo! frequent flier, Navy Veteran, Cat Mom, Serial Grilled Cheese Eater and Crypto X SurvivorToxicblackout @AdamMcginnis14
204 Followers 1K Following MarineVet/Movies all Horror#1/Rather hunt human than animals/Son#1/Gaming on phone/love life/Mind want stop talks to much/Gotta say love a good booty 😇🤫Ajanaku Kenny @ajanaku_kenny
16 Followers 318 FollowingMs.Struggles @AlwaysStruggles
29 Followers 53 Following Nothing to see here. Please move along to the next insane person. Seriously. Go.JB (Dork Train 🚂) .. @jb197100
3K Followers 5K Following Scrap merchant and part-time quizz master. Attended the Uri Geller institute of Advanced Spoon Bending. Video victim. Hair by Wodger. On the run with @_theigirlDiane T 🦩 @Always_DianeT
2K Followers 5K Following “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” – Ben Franklin; #spoonie #OHsports #foodie #music #nature #history #books #fitness #funJimmyClink @JimClinkscale
1K Followers 2K Following Dad, Guitar Player, Golfer, Pats Fan, Staunch Lefty!mrl @MikeLied
45 Followers 867 Followingso now what @DBCTG
601 Followers 413 FollowingRAHIM BASHA @de4d3e95e5604b1
44 Followers 375 FollowingClaudia @claurocks
16 Followers 4K Following dissapointed but not surprised. peace for ukraine/palestineBeth M Forst @forst_beth
19 Followers 134 Followingpoopyhead @Beusha2
9 Followers 51 Followingjohn hayhurst @roveritejon
316 Followers 3K Following Scorpio; retired weatherman. Love clematis,roses,lilys. Football.BLACKBURN bread&buttered,worked in U.K. F.I, Seychelles,Gan,Vanuatu Singapore Thailand malaysiaPhilosopher King, Ora.. @signalborder
5K Followers 6K Following R https://t.co/xrjEEfBLwe Remember to reinstall your phase converter to 31° left of center.Paul R Anobile @anobile_r
68 Followers 2K FollowingMarly @VerbsRProudest
10K Followers 5K Following Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvinJohn Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICABoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVAnnie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdishPlaying Ball Owen Mea.. @NotOwenMeany
3K Followers 3K Following 80% faux snobbery, 20% actual snobbery. Even I'm not sure which is which. He/Him. Same on Bluesky.Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug
75K Followers 16K Following writer of dumb tweets, founder of the @LuvPugFDN for homeless & disabled animals 🐾 🐾🐾Instagram: -luvpugpetcare -harrywaddlebottom -luvpugfoundationDarla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMASRebecca Jones @MrsJones_TISD
343 Followers 549 Following Mom, Band Supporter, Scout Leader, Picture Taker, supporter of Public EducationMs.Struggles @AlwaysStruggles
29 Followers 53 Following Nothing to see here. Please move along to the next insane person. Seriously. Go.Horatio Quartzjixler @Quartzjixler
20K Followers 11K Following Before Twitter I used to hang out in a lighthouse and flash my thoughts using an Aldis lamp. https://t.co/0xfmqvCVwEso now what @DBCTG
601 Followers 413 Followingjackhabit @jackhabit
3K Followers 3K Following Way too easily amused for my age. NO cryptocurrency, I'm serious!David Acuff @DavidAcuff
10K Followers 10K Following Los Angeles | Author | Screenwriter | Comedy Marketing ::: What doesn't kill you makes you funnier! 🤘🏻😇🤘🏻TheOfficePhilosopher @TheOPhilosopher
5K Followers 5K Following Give me a minute to get into character...Hindsight @AMagliocchino
133 Followers 748 Following A strange mix of House music and the Grateful Dead5oclockeveryday @5oclockeveryday
2K Followers 1K Following Hi! This is the space they gave me to write something WITTY and BRILLIANT so that you'll want to follow me, and if I had something, this is where I'd post it.Barry BeNiceButNotSic.. @barryjohnharper
10K Followers 8K Following English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue. Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌ https://t.co/kWKnRGy10ochristopher bosch @cpbosch
211 Followers 1K FollowingMizz Tangles @MizzTangles
3K Followers 3K Following I once had a one stand with a Tom Selleck poster.Colin McKay @Canuckflack
4K Followers 3K Following Sinclair ZX81. Turbo button. Window seat. Long Drives. Irony. Policy nerd. Xoogler. Autonomous trucks and Gen AI.Teri Daniels @bylinetd
7K Followers 4K Following Joker, writer, blogger, eater - Zip to my tweets: https://t.co/AqvpkBc9DJCarbosly @Carbosly
27K Followers 5K Following Mother. Lover. Wondering what happened to the cow in Twister.John @John26649305
3K Followers 3K Following Astronaut, concert pianist, philanthropist,fantastic lover, and truthful to a fault.thoughts¿ @happy_is_sad
123 Followers 143 FollowingBat Shit Crazy @BatBatshitcrazy
29K Followers 7K Following Wouldn't you like to know? Mouth of a sailor. Header by @ChrisJonesArt https://t.co/FwBLSjHVK3 https://t.co/aktRNU5SouDaniel @danconrad
168 Followers 1K FollowingRick Colby @RickBColby
13K Followers 11K Following Lobbyist, patient advocate, dad of transgender son and daughter who passed from cancer. Opinions are my own. https://t.co/CJYNYHCGngAGoodQuestion @Benjones2Jones
889 Followers 1K Following Ceci n'est pas une bio. https://t.co/ZKqHhDy3Vl❄Jolie❄ @JolieEsprit
2K Followers 2K FollowingRecovering Soy Boy @Fredzipfel
8K Followers 4K Following My charm is subtle and rarefied, in case you were wondering why it is not evidentBeth @mejustbeth
6K Followers 3K Following I do all my own stunts. Stand back. https://t.co/0gW4eS77uOKate Hall @KateWhineHall
22K Followers 6K Following I used to have two blogs, but they expired because I procrastinate too much. IG/FB: @KateWhineHall Books: https://t.co/Sh4a4NAYjaAlan Parham @alanboiiz
1K Followers 2K Following Instagram @moody-swings Cajun dancer, plays badminton, paints surreal pictures, echoes lifeNick Flatt @Flattliner
3K Followers 770 Following "This person is not on the Medical Register and may not practise as a doctor in the UK" - looks like I'll have to find something else to do then!TrishDelish 💋 @trishm426
39K Followers 4K Following Hanging here with the rest of you crazies...now make me laugh! https://t.co/fIV6BZ5qGSRamblin Mama @ramblinma
11K Followers 2K Following Joanna McClanahan. Humor writing featured on @hulu, @buzzfeed, @parents, @huffpost, @netflixfamily, @scarymommy, @thedad, & more.Shannon @theevilwriter
4K Followers 5K Following SWF seeks ninja for cuddling, laughs, long walks on the beach, and vanquishment of common enemiesI carry my walking stick under my arm like I’m marching into North Africa to give Rommel a good hiding.
My daughter’s new puppy Wallace.
Cashier: Will that be all? Me: No, I have a bunch more stuff to get, I just wanted to show you what I've got so far.
Thinking about that time my mom was taking a photo of me & said I looked way too stiff & too posed & her solution was to hand me a gourd.
Just looked in my spam folder and it would appear I’m missing a few hundred parcels. Either that or the scammers have been scammed into all buying the same email.
Everything is proof of God if you don't understand how anything works.
Realising my signature scent these days is Jakemans menthol cough sweets.
Let's sit outside and watch the big backpacks go by.
tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of me doing something i never thought i could do ... left brooklyn for the netherlands and not miss it.
Might just fuck around and admit that spiteful words may hurt, but silence breaks your heart.
Welcome to your 50s. The groaning sounds coming from your bedroom are no longer sex related.
I saw Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” hanging in a trailer I went in today, but I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask if it was the original or a print.
I’m so glad I’m an adult making adult money now (watches everything become unaffordable) Hey yo what the fuck happened
Moving on while still holding hope is an odd sensation.
I hate it when I’m outside & an insect lands & crawls on my glasses & for a split second I think aliens have invaded.