Still Here? @ischarstillhere
Disgruntled middle-aged wine mom 🍷Numbing my angst with wine, food, clothing, perfume, music, culture, and sarcasm. Here for humor, not politics or perversion. Joined January 2019-
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When you text someone “morning honey” and it autocorrects to “morning homey” and you sound like a nerd from the 90s trying to sound cool and urban
I just want to quit my job and eat garlic knots full time.
Heading to Walmart wearing garish, ill-fitting clothes and no makeup out of respect for the local culture
How come every time I take a melatonin pill I end up having dreams about talking cats and having sex with Dan Ackroyd?
Is it you shit rainbows and fart glitter or you shit glitter and fart rainbows?
Another thing I struggle with lately, it’s been impossible for me to have friendships with other females. Cattiness, competition, general meanness. I’ve always been like Elaine from Seinfeld, and most of my friends are guys. I think instead of fighting it now I’m going with it
Having another one of those mental health struggle days, were you try to pick out the good things and the hopeful things and stop yourself from hitting a mental brick wall. It’s tough. But we all gotta keep going
I'm making a giant sausage and pepper southwestern strata with homemade cheese sauce. Who wants breakfast?
Gonna dress up in reverse drag as a Post Malone impersonator. Gonna call myself Stick McGinty
@ischarstillhere My workplace is where all the clowns ended up after the circus closed
“It’s like one flew over the cuckoo’s nest at this place and sometimes you just have to put on a straight jacket and play along” Me describing my workplace
Today was one weird ass motherfucking day. Wow
All of us turning 50 this year, let’s not deny it, but embrace it. Call up the energy of the majas, the playful yentas, the coastal grandmas, the quirky and lilting older ladies, who smell like heavy perfume, wear big jewelry, who embrace life in their older age. My mom was one❤️
People who still use the expression, “Fuckin’ A!” The neighbor character from the movie Office Space Main characters in edgy Netflix series during ironic moments People in Buffalo, New York
This is still my problem. I went to a student art show this week, and I put on a beret, thinking it would make me look cute and “artsy.“ When I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like a wilting mushroom. Oh well. I tried. Must be my flat head
Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age. Victor Hugo
𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔯𝔞 .. @pinkmagiclala
91K Followers 11K Following @jakethegr86 is the love of my life ❤️🔥 mother of cats♡ ily Layla🐾 80s hair bands, sports, spicy food, animals, and ASMR are my true loves ~ destiny is allIAmJillyBean @ItIsMsJillyBean
17K Followers 5K Following Tattooed Single Mom. Harry Potter Nerd #Hufflepuff⚡️Craft Beer Lover🍻💙ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat
71K Followers 43K Following I'm a little ball of crazy and one fucked up rollercoaster ride. Married. #🟦Just Ali @JustAli1981
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24K Followers 23K Following Justice for Gabby Petito 🦋 & Daniel Robinson 🌎 https://t.co/tsqV6flKKf Foodie/Poet/Writer/Empath/Virgo/Detective. No DMs, unless you are #RyanGoslingBetty Botticelli @Faungirl123
58K Followers 5K Following lost in the woods, probably gonna die. I take pictures of stuff and things. Other account @BettyBully12Claire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQ💗 Mashed Potato Dr.. @sheseemslegit
86K Followers 20K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.Sheri 🇨🇦🫎�.. @NotsoScarySheri
27K Followers 5K Following Awkward Canadian....things I say always sound funnier in my head. #widow🚫 DMs. https://t.co/f6N8I0CrQIRetardedRektRectum @indigo_raven_
24K Followers 2K Following Peecan Sandies Cult I specialize in testing the limits and pushing buttons. https://t.co/p11QXTT2Sf follow me here too 👉🏼 @turtledumplin𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲 @twisted_mystic
13K Followers 3K Following fighter of cancer, figuring it all out one day at a time. a little of this, a little of that. always grateful 🌹💀❤️Lava Dog @Riverrunsred44
13K Followers 2K FollowingLucky ⭐️ @DoubleA33
45K Followers 9K Following former troublemaker trapped inside a professional nerdForward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…🐝 BlueEyedBeesley�.. @tattooed_bee
14K Followers 3K Following curvy, smart-assed, coconut/vanilla scented, CHD Mom 💙❤️, devoted better half, a renegade of funk, the office fanatic, wu-tang Killa bee🐝 ordained ministerKiss my Fat Ash🍑 @Tobi_Is_Fab
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1 Followers 19 FollowingDean @dakarrier
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840 Followers 1K Following I post memes give compliments and talk shit NOT A BUYER!! NO DMs I am a meat popsicleN17 The Lane @whitehart69
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109K Followers 2K Following just nay from the block … don’t study me you won’t graduate. this is my ONLY account.S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
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2K Followers 3K Following Sunglasses and black leather always makes a great outfit..😎. Likes music..🎶🍸Nore @fistfulsofbooks
635 Followers 871 Following Writer. Reader. Mom. Not necessarily in that order. Still being careful about not spreading Covid. Read me for more. DMs may or may not be answered.𝔏𝔞𝔲𝔯𝔞 .. @pinkmagiclala
91K Followers 11K Following @jakethegr86 is the love of my life ❤️🔥 mother of cats♡ ily Layla🐾 80s hair bands, sports, spicy food, animals, and ASMR are my true loves ~ destiny is all𝓜53♕ ☠︎ 🌸 @contradiction70
104K Followers 16K Following Whenever I pick up a power tool, I press the trigger twice.IAmJillyBean @ItIsMsJillyBean
17K Followers 5K Following Tattooed Single Mom. Harry Potter Nerd #Hufflepuff⚡️Craft Beer Lover🍻💙ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat
71K Followers 43K Following I'm a little ball of crazy and one fucked up rollercoaster ride. Married. #🟦Just Ali @JustAli1981
14K Followers 2K Following I want to be your crystal baller! ISFJ-T School Psychologist #madblindlove #kindnessmattersSamInspired @SamInspired
24K Followers 23K Following Justice for Gabby Petito 🦋 & Daniel Robinson 🌎 https://t.co/tsqV6flKKf Foodie/Poet/Writer/Empath/Virgo/Detective. No DMs, unless you are #RyanGoslingBetty Botticelli @Faungirl123
58K Followers 5K Following lost in the woods, probably gonna die. I take pictures of stuff and things. Other account @BettyBully12Claire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQ💗 Mashed Potato Dr.. @sheseemslegit
86K Followers 20K Following Probably at a Walgreens. enfj. books, cats, vintage.karen @klsmd12
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27K Followers 5K Following Awkward Canadian....things I say always sound funnier in my head. #widow🚫 DMs. https://t.co/f6N8I0CrQIRetardedRektRectum @indigo_raven_
24K Followers 2K Following Peecan Sandies Cult I specialize in testing the limits and pushing buttons. https://t.co/p11QXTT2Sf follow me here too 👉🏼 @turtledumplin𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲 @twisted_mystic
13K Followers 3K Following fighter of cancer, figuring it all out one day at a time. a little of this, a little of that. always grateful 🌹💀❤️Lava Dog @Riverrunsred44
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837 Followers 4K FollowingPegtasm 👻🏳️�.. @MissedtheFence
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471 Followers 242 Following back here again, yeah yeah, I KNOW 🥍 ⚖️Maulds @maulds74
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3K Followers 614 Following 👩🏽🍳Vegan Sustainable Chef 🏆 @foodnetwork Champ📚AUTHOR with @Simonschuster 🎥 @todayshow @kellyclarksontv 📰 Columnist @washingtonpost 💻 former techieDonny Utton @donnyutton
783 Followers 2K Following Musician, Podcaster, Seeker of Truth, Author, Promoter of Health, Positive lifestyle, Ink obsessed & Dogs best friend@ischarstillhere At least its not " morning horny" 🤔
@ischarstillhere I love that it’s the first thing you say to me everyday 💕
@ischarstillhere Ask your Alexa what "coffee bean 100" is in welsh
@YSylon @ischarstillhere Yep I ❤️ Garlic knots
It sucks when people die, but when comedians die it always reminds me how important it is to make people laugh.
I just want to quit my job and eat garlic knots full time.
@SoldadoTatuado @ischarstillhere That was my question last night?
It's a HIPAA violation for you to ask me if I'm watching Steel Magnolias again
@ischarstillhere Oh yes, the people watching, I’m glad we find it interesting and we’re not judgmental.
Heading to Walmart wearing garish, ill-fitting clothes and no makeup out of respect for the local culture
@ischarstillhere I had a great time at lunch with you, I do think the people at that place think we’re regulars now, 🥗
@ischarstillhere Wait, what era of Dan Ackroyd?
@ischarstillhere Better than having sex with cats and talking with Dan Ackroyd I suppose...