Arqum S. Goraya @_w0Ify__
London, United Kingdom Joined May 2011-
Tweets6K
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Followers21K
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Following18K
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Likes151
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
wife:Guess what? me: You're thinking about me and touching yourself wife: 9 lost a tooth today me: Oh wife: And you're on speaker 9: Hi dad!
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Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
Imagine how terrifying snails would be if they travelled at normal speeds.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
SCHRÖDINGER: cat is both alive & dead HEISENBERG: can't say for certain cat is alive or dead ME BACKING OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY: cat's dead
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
skinny girl eating in car: oh she is so busy she has to eat on the go! me eating in car: ha that fat fuck can't go 2 minutes without eating
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
Today has been one of those days where I could really use a nap and about 30 million dollars.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
Actually, ma'am, I was staring at your heart.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
OK I'VE ALWAYS BEEN TOO EMBARRASSED TO ASK BUT WHEN SNOOP DOGG SANG AIN'T NUTHIN BUT A G THANG, WHAT IS G? IS IT GOOGLE? GUM? PLEASE HELP
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
I have this reoccurring nightmare where I get stuck in a conversation with an adult wearing Disney apparel.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
I'd be the worst evil villain cause all you'd really have to do is hide my glasses.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
I keep a bag of my single socks just in case the other one returns, so don’t tell me I’m not romantic.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
[spelling bee] Your word is 'monosyllabic' "Can you describe it in a sentence?" Yes
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
I tried to agree with someone by saying my favorite movie is JAWS too and now everyone thinks I am an idiot. I should have said "also."
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
Hey people who post their morning workout stats I don't need that kind of negativity in my life.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
You always hear about cops planting evidence. Never about the cops who nurture and water it every day so it will grow into an evidence tree.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
Hopefully one of the seven habits of highly effective people is crying in your car before work because you forgot your lunch.
Arqum S. Goraya retweeted
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