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SimplyRT @SimplyRTs

There are so many golden tweeters out there, and I'd like to share their work with the world through RTs. I'll follow you back. Joined August 2012
  • Tweets
    119
  • Followers
    163
  • Following
    627
  • Likes
    109
SimplyRT retweeted
chrisanna4real Profile Picture

Chrisanna4real @chrisanna4real

14 years ago

If we all drank responsibly, twitter would be fucking boring.

SimplyRT retweeted
iRowlf Profile Picture

iRowlf @iRowlf

14 years ago

That's a cool miniature hippopotamus you've got there, lady. Oh, that's your baby? Gross. Never mind.

SimplyRT retweeted
Mike_Wrong Profile Picture

Mike Wrong @Mike_Wrong

14 years ago

According to this body mass index, I should be a pregnant hippo

SimplyRT retweeted
corpseanimated Profile Picture

A Corpse Reanimated @corpseanimated

14 years ago

I like to go running when it's pitch black out in the woods looking for a murder. I've started crying to make me look more vulnerable.

SimplyRT retweeted
MrNoLaughs Profile Picture

MinATL @MrNoLaughs

14 years ago

Reasons I'm single: - women love horrible TV - ugly and broke are pussy repellents

SimplyRT retweeted
torrami Profile Picture

Dopamine Darling @torrami

14 years ago

It's all fun and games until someone takes your words out of context and NOW PEOPLE ARE TALKING IN CAPS AND CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED

SimplyRT retweeted
Schroofles Profile Picture

Lisa @Schroofles

14 years ago

It's fucking rude how my bag just refused to get up and let the pregnant lady sit in the bus just now.

SimplyRT retweeted
IGotsSmarts Profile Picture

stephanieinabq.bsky.social @IGotsSmarts

14 years ago

Decided to get a real Christmas tree this year. They smell better than the imaginary trees.

SimplyRT retweeted
PsychographEd Profile Picture

ETHICAL STALKER @PsychographEd

14 years ago

To procrastinate basically means to not give fuck.

SimplyRT retweeted
Oh_WillyWonka Profile Picture

Condescending Wonka @Oh_WillyWonka

14 years ago

Oh, you're a single teenage mom? You must be such a strong independent woman.

SimplyRT retweeted
Brianhopecomedy Profile Picture

Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy

14 years ago

Just an observation: I used to give 10 #FF's and they might get 1 follower. Now I give 1 #FF a week and they get minimum 10. Crazy stuff.

SimplyRT retweeted
weinerdog4life Profile Picture

Snorklhuahua @weinerdog4life

14 years ago

Marriage isn't so bad, it's basically just pretending to be excited about decorative pillows.

SimplyRT retweeted
SlabBaconBP Profile Picture

reluctantly sober substance enthusiast @SlabBaconBP

14 years ago

The 20 year old girl I met last night probably would've stopped begging me for drugs if she'd known all I had was Dulcolax and Gas-X.

SimplyRT retweeted
TheDanielleRock Profile Picture

Mrs. Sassy Pants @TheDanielleRock

14 years ago

Sources say: If you're an A-hole, she'll let you put it in her B-hole.

SimplyRT retweeted
cyanidecynic Profile Picture

Cyanide Cynic @cyanidecynic

14 years ago

The real dick joke is in my pants.

SimplyRT retweeted
twayne1010 Profile Picture

T Wayne 1010 @twayne1010

14 years ago

I currently have 1998 followers. I'm going to tweet like it's 1999.

SimplyRT retweeted
TrueTorontoGirl Profile Picture

tater's trailer trash🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl

14 years ago

As long as I can still make myself laugh, I’m doing just fine.

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