Timothy-the-second @Timothy_second
I Read. I like. I Re-tweet. You're welcome. London Joined March 2011-
Tweets1K
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Followers46
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Following238
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Likes2K
Timothy-the-second retweeted
Sleep tight and remember, anyone can have beauty... deep down inside... except the haters.
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Timothy-the-second retweeted
A "productivity" folder on an iPhone has to be the ultimate joke.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
Hi @SandraFluke. I'm happy Rush Limbaugh made you famous because you are an excellent American. You have my support & admiration.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
If you can't think of anything nice to say, consider working in anything that involves writing.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
I'm sick of being mocked by puppets.
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I imagine Snooki's fetus to look like a Cheeto attached to her with a gold chain instead of an umbilical cord.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
You’ll never convince me that onions are anything other than weeds that people keep mistaking as food.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
All the french fries at the bottom of all the bags are mine. Give them to me.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
I’m starting to think many of these protest groups are just flash mobs that don’t know how to sing or dance.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
My super power is invisibility. But it only works when I'm standing at a bar trying to order a drink.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
I feel terrible for people, myself included, who aren't in Slayer.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
"We good?" --someone you're no where near good with
Timothy-the-second retweeted
When I die, they'll say "He lived his life like a candle in the wind, constantly getting blown."
Timothy-the-second retweeted
When I’m not on Twitter, I keep little gold stars in my pockets and sprinkle them on people I think are funny.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
"I'm doing this to put myself through a cocaine addiction." Honest stripper.
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I strive to reach many goals in my life but the one that remains true is to be a human that has truly lived.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
"I'm HUGE in Hollywood." - Adrien Brody's nose.
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Too bad autocorrect doesn't work for penis size.
Timothy-the-second retweeted
I wish you were as funny as you think you are.
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