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Tweets7K
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Followers464K
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Following722
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Likes583
Warren & @GarryShandling during his appearance on The Larry Sanders Show, Season 2 Episode 15 "Off Camera" vote.rockhall.com
(2014) I actually have in my will, that I don’t want to be disconnected from the respirator if it’s being covered by CNN
(1997) They’ve been showing OJ Simpson being chased in his Bronco over and over again the past couple of days. And you know, I live in Brentwood and I make basically that same drive every day with a gun to my head, and no one gives a damn. So what is that about?
Message to a friend: You can count me in, although I still hold the right to back out, as I do in any relationship
There's a fine line between making me laugh, flirting, and just scaring the shit out of me.
On @jimmykimmel at the 2012 White House Correspondents' Dinner: "he was right to go a little long just to show that he can really go on and on and on if he wants to."
How to spice up the Oscars. The winner of the last Oscar on the show just stands there, not knowing what to do as the closing theme and credits begin.
1998 Journal during his lawsuit
From notes: My female shrink had a great expression relative to relationships: Love and ten cents will buy you a cup of coffee.
(2011) My buddy already tweeted, What city is Lebron going to now?
I am the best defensive back in the NFL. That's why I pat so many guys on the ass.
...another shit super bowl....too soon? (2013)
The Grammy’s with Tina Turner youtube.com/shorts/mxW4UQ1…
Hosting the 1990 Grammy Awards
I've noticed when you throw a punch that just goes into air, it feels like the whole world sees it -- like a batter striking out. When the fact is, those misses are just part of the game. (2012 notes)
2010 note for a friend: "I can't believe you are moving back East. Taylor Swift and her mother are coming over tonight."
I am a very ethical moral guy, so I would never have sex with a married woman. That’s why I can’t get married. I tell you this, right there at the honeymoon, I would say, this makes me feel awkward
Just been asked to host the very prestigious "Fourth Day after Emmys," special, exploring the realization that everyone's just human.
Brother Phap Hai of Deer Park Monastery quoting Garry's Journal: "Give more to others. Get outside “yourself.” Keep your heart open and have fun. Keep mind clear. Make it fun for them. Open heart, kindness, truth, compassion. Follow your instincts."
Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
2.3M Followers 2K Following
Bob Newhart @BobNewhart
225K Followers 69 Following Official Twitter Page for Bob Newhart - comedian / actor / all around nice guy Also on Facebook http://t.co/aRL8i5ZeCG
Todd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcast
Dave Foley @DaveSFoley
204K Followers 2K Following I am selectively famous.I don’t respect your beliefs.Also,I don’t respect my beliefs. Podcast, Really?!. with Tom and Dave now available.
Jeff Ross @realjeffreyross
837K Followers 2K Following “Bumping Mics” “Historical Roasts” “Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals” Alopecia advocacy: https://t.co/LpQck3RhiO
J. Elvis Weinstein @JElvisWeinstein
29K Followers 1K Following Writer, Director, Comedy General Practitioner. MST3K original cast, Freaks and Geeks, 2 feature docs, @Thought_Spiral pod w/ @AndyKindler.
eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
91K Followers 2K Following PATREON: https://t.co/dm05RJF6Af / APOCALYPSE SOON Podcast: https://t.co/S6IV0RCzYA / FOR THE MASSES Special: https://t.co/x7GkqTeRYn
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
295K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Kliph Nesteroff @ClassicShowbiz
15K Followers 877 Following Author of: The Comedians. We Had a Little Real Estate Problem. Outrageous: Showbiz & the Culture Wars. And watch George Carlin's American Dream.
Alan Zweibel @AlanZweibel
19K Followers 2K Following Comedy writer, author, playwright, all-around great guy. SNL, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Garry Shandling, etc. https://t.co/I6mq11XtMN
Gilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert
407K Followers 2K Following The official Twitter page for Gilbert Gottfried
Wendy Liebman ☮️ @WendyLiebman
41K Followers 11K Following I hope you feel light. I’m on Threads. For a PDF copy of my book Swear on Lily, go to the last page of my website: https://t.co/L6jblQylf1
RealGilbertACP @RealGilbertACP
15K Followers 2K Following Comedy legend Gilbert Gottfried's podcast about Hollywood history, co-hosted by Frank Santopadre. ENCORE episodes every Monday, CLASSIC episodes every Thursday.
Brian Posehn @thebrianposehn
332K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Actor, Writer, Giant Idiot. Big Bang Theory, The Mandalorian, Mr. Show, New Girl, The Sarah Silverman Program, Just Shoot Me & much more.
Mike Reiss @MikeReissWriter
22K Followers 422 Following It's me, Mike Reiss! 4x Emmy Award-Winning writer & producer for @TheSimpsons.
Kimberly Mitchell @KimberlyMi81183
0 Followers 5 Following
Jennifer Phillips @JenniferPh89484
0 Followers 4 Following
hannatu ABUBAKAR @Hanny_show
8 Followers 82 Following
Dana Lewis @Ossie2Go
1 Followers 31 Following
Tweet release @JMcDesert
4 Followers 324 Following
C. Grove @CGrove12076625
6 Followers 349 Following
Emily @Emily2291857100
0 Followers 191 Following
Magda Stockwell @MagdaStock52821
0 Followers 5 Following
dillon @dillon_arty
35 Followers 2K Following
Shawnte Marie @MarieShawn29946
0 Followers 5 Following
Mireille Guillia @MGuillia85262
0 Followers 97 Following
Lori Gibson @LoriGibson84201
0 Followers 5 Following
elonmusk1222 @elonmusk1262897
16 Followers 728 Following
Kari Wade @KariWad82851253
34 Followers 997 Following
Patricia Farmer @PatriciaFa5216
0 Followers 0 Following
Ashley Price @AshleyPric74472
0 Followers 4 Following
Brian Erb @BrianEr93815136
28 Followers 15 Following
Kari Gray @KariGray196425
0 Followers 6 Following
Christina Flores @ChristinaF81092
0 Followers 4 Following
Mary Reeter @Catherine_mcr
26 Followers 753 Following
BILL RYAN @faceyouhate
7K Followers 2K Following "Ut!" - The Flaming Carrot Bylines at @bulwarkonline and @ebertvoices and @oscopelabs and @decider. I am ready & willing to be hired. https://t.co/d5BTT1POHR
mike coen @mikecoen1
824 Followers 4K Following I say things and sometimes I write them down. Here are some of those things.
Jane Altoids @staticbluebat
7K Followers 4K Following I’m very famous. Beloved by people the world over for my stunning insights into the human condition. Co-host of @pacino_pod with @kaliebud
Hermit Crab in the Ci.. @robes_dot_robes
158 Followers 918 Following I'm a hermit and a crab, and I live in this city
Jason @RedHautePoker
261 Followers 840 Following Lazy Mofo | Cork Sniffer | Denholm Elliott Stan | "Haste when choosing a life path invites failure."
BES-5 @BES_5_FNR
5 Followers 84 Following Thermoelectric appreciator. Low-key user here with occasional replies and posts.
Dawn Heo @DawnHeo50427
0 Followers 5 Following
Tim Hodgin @tim_hodgin
470 Followers 2K Following
Anna Summers @AnnaSummer14524
0 Followers 4 Following
Dan Daly @dandalyonsports
3K Followers 212 Following Unrestricted free agent sportswriter, NFL Films talking head, author of The National Forgotten League. Check out my website at http://t.co/0OYw9cnhHN.
Tom Mckeown @TomMckeown19
106 Followers 572 Following
dino spumoni @YourUncleKyle
461 Followers 235 Following you likely know me for playing the lead role in Buffy the Vampire Slayer
ee @notagainstart
80 Followers 721 Following
Jill Scott @JillScott133125
0 Followers 4 Following
Kimberly Moring @KimberlyMo81155
0 Followers 4 Following
Robin Hill @RobinHill679453
0 Followers 5 Following
M. T. Cicero @cicero_kc
16 Followers 79 Following
Charlotte @Charlot30048380
26 Followers 652 Following Loving life army bae stress free baby idiot sick fucking 🌲Dudes
Jennifer Doebereiner @doebereine5154
0 Followers 5 Following
MHD The Armchair ‘P.. @ArmchairPriest
2K Followers 2K Following Creator sent me to expose all evil- from EVERY UNBIASED angle possible: { AnuUrash= AtumRa= AtmanMaya= AhuraMazda= ELahAshera= Alilah= GOD= ‘JESUS’ }
Mary @Mary97234892711
0 Followers 24 Following
Heather Williams @HeatherWil40226
0 Followers 4 Following
Arelis Althea @AltheaArel76459
0 Followers 5 Following
marc maron @marcmaron
880K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.
Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
2.3M Followers 2K Following
Bob Newhart @BobNewhart
225K Followers 69 Following Official Twitter Page for Bob Newhart - comedian / actor / all around nice guy Also on Facebook http://t.co/aRL8i5ZeCG
Albert Brooks @AlbertBrooks
1.6M Followers 1 Following Filmmaker, actor, author Albert Brooks. Originally joined Twitter to promote my book. Now trapped. Can't get out. HELP. https://t.co/UJ2cdAYZ57
Todd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcast
Scott Thompson @ScottThompson_
96K Followers 876 Following Comedian, Writer, Actor, Singer/Songwriter, Kid in the Hall, Currently on Tour as "Buddy Cole" in KING!
Jeff Ross @realjeffreyross
837K Followers 2K Following “Bumping Mics” “Historical Roasts” “Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals” Alopecia advocacy: https://t.co/LpQck3RhiO
Danny Zuker @DannyZuker
295K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDS
Maria Bamford @mariabamfoo
215K Followers 773 Following Stand-Up Comedy Since the 1900s 📚 Pre-Order Scott's & My Graphic Novel 📚 Tour Dates on website! Want to come to a show but No $? Ariamaamfordba@gmail
Alan Zweibel @AlanZweibel
19K Followers 2K Following Comedy writer, author, playwright, all-around great guy. SNL, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Garry Shandling, etc. https://t.co/I6mq11XtMN
Gilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert
407K Followers 2K Following The official Twitter page for Gilbert Gottfried
Wendy Liebman ☮️ @WendyLiebman
41K Followers 11K Following I hope you feel light. I’m on Threads. For a PDF copy of my book Swear on Lily, go to the last page of my website: https://t.co/L6jblQylf1
Aimee Mann @aimeemann
138K Followers 893 Following New video "Suicide Is Murder" out now https://t.co/i4bTENiy1D
Harry Shearer @theharryshearer
133K Followers 1K Following Simpsons, Tap, Derek, #leshow....PS: Name-calling gets you blocked. Trying to run a nice place here.
Jonathan Katz @jonathan_katz
31K Followers 1K Following Emmy Award-Winning Comedian • Writer • Actor • Producer - My Podcast "Hey, We’re Back" (Featuring Sarah Silverman, Garry Shandling, Robin Williams, and More)
Merrill Markoe @Merrillmarkoe
35K Followers 1K Following Writer.Graphic novel https://t.co/wDPieYKKz5 audio:THE INDIGNITIES of BEING A WOMAN https://t.co/VUgIp7wveU SUBSTACK https://t.co/cxqJd97Cgo
Jason Narducy @SplitSingleband
10K Followers 563 Following Bob Mould Band, Superchunk, Split Single, Verböten the musical
Texas College Basebal.. @TexasCollegeBSB
12K Followers 1K Following Your home for college baseball news and updates in Texas | Thank your student managers 🙌 l
All Things Comedy @allthingscomedy
112K Followers 2K Following Comedy. Owned by comedians. Direct to fans. No middlemen.
Micaela Blei @mblei
1K Followers 532 Following I tell stories and help people tell theirs. Stories on The Moth, This American Life and more. Subscribe free to The Story Letter! https://t.co/YYuBJ8vs6Y
Joe Nocera @opinion_joe
24K Followers 2K Following Latest podcast: American Dreamer: Who Was Jay Gatsby (Audible) Latest book: The Big Fail. Latest writing gig: The Free Press. And still time to tweet!
Swingset Creative @SwingsetAgency
19 Followers 41 Following A boutique digital agency specializing in authentic brand voice and dynamic creative content.
TK Littles @TKLittles
10K Followers 212 Following The unofficial twitter account of the Tony Kornheiser Show Littles. We can't have the Mr. Tony experience, but we can tweet! #TKLittles
Countess Popinoff @CountessPopinov
171 Followers 87 Following I like caffeine and talking crap. I also have CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and a highly uncooperative body.
Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes
551K Followers 1K Following Comic, producer, writer, stunt double, wife, mother, and know-it-all. Coming to a city near you...maybe. Check the website for tour dates.
Lena Dunham @lenadunham
5.0M Followers 724 Following Good Thing Going | Stream #CatherineCalledBirdy on Amazon Prime 🕊️
Game of Thrones @GameOfThrones
8.1M Followers 35K Following All Must Choose. The @HBO original series #HouseoftheDragon Season 2 premieres June 16 on @StreamonMax. #HOTD
Mosheh Oinounou @Mosheh
13K Followers 6K Following ▶️Media Consultant ▶️https://t.co/nRtJst39Mp ▶️Curating news @mosheh @instagram ▶️Former @CBS @Bloomberg @FoxNews ▶️https://t.co/yooZ0NwB4f
Kristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.
Entrepreneur @Entrepreneur
3.6M Followers 1K Following Inspiring, informing and celebrating entrepreneurs.
Danielle Miraglia @dmiraglia
4K Followers 4K Following Guitarist/Singer/Songwriter - New album-Bright Shining Stars w/ @VizzTone #15 debut on @billboard Blues charts. https://t.co/K9wQbKBCiZ
Alan Schimmel @SchimmelEsq
60 Followers 152 Following
Ron Howard @RealRonHoward
2.5M Followers 486 Following Family Man & StorySmith Co-Founder of Imagine Entertainment
𝕸𝖗.𝕳𝖞𝖉.. @thegeekinside71
1K Followers 955 Following #MysteryHorrorTheatre creator and host of the Crypt Cast Show.
Vulture @vulture
510K Followers 1K Following Devouring culture. Get Vulture's daily newsletter: https://t.co/53G4SuuNKV
Sam Morril @sammorril
215K Followers 930 Following Stand-up Comic. Knicks fan. See me in your city: https://t.co/NGdY2cYtXP
Suzie Hunter ⚾️ @TheSuzieHunter
40K Followers 16K Following Covering the Rockies for @DNVR_Sports • Drove to every MLB park in 2021 • 1/2 of @nacho_scout • Delco baby • Bobby Valentine invented the wrap
Comedians in Cars @cicgcshow
27K Followers 195 Following The talk show about nothing by @JerrySeinfeld. Freshly Brewed episodes, now streaming on @Netflix.
Liza Donnelly @lizadonnelly
30K Followers 5K Following NewYorker cartoonist/writer. NYT/WaPo. Author of Very Funny Ladies. Screenwriter. Vassar Visiting Scholar https://t.co/RlmDQ09Fuk
John Cleese @JohnCleese
5.6M Followers 253 Following Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer
RedditCFB @RedditCFB
347K Followers 283 Following The official account for /r/CFB, the home of college football on Reddit | 🎙️/r/CFB Talk | @OurCFB is our 501(C)(3)
The Hill @thehill
4.4M Followers 345 Following The Hill is the premier source for policy and political news. Follow for tweets on what's happening in Washington, breaking news and retweets of our reporters.
Alyssa Milano @Alyssa_Milano
3.4M Followers 7K Following 💎 NOT PAYING FOR A BLUE CHECK MARK! Check out @sorrynotsorry @NoRA4USA Please follow my other account for career updates @AlyssaDotCom Text Me: (323)396-9923
Jay Brand @JayBrand414
86 Followers 863 Following Love the PACKERS,BUCKS AND BREWERS Also work 4 We Energies so I can retire at 55 & GOLF everyday
Cher @cher
3.9M Followers 185 Following Stand & B Counted or Sit & B Nothing. Don't Litter,Chew Gum,Walk Past Homeless PPL w/out Smile.DOESNT MATTER in 5 yrs IT DOESNT MATTER THERE'S ONLY LOVE&FEAR
Jason Ritter 🦋 @JasonRitter
208K Followers 4K Following My only existence is for your amusement, and that is why I'm here with you. (he/him)
David Daniel @davidda.. @CNNLADavid
6K Followers 3K Following Entertainment journalist. Reader. West Wing & Firefly fan. I tweet stories which interest me, especially #FindTheGood items. #TEAMMOLLY #TeamBeans he/him 🟦
Michael Weiss @michaeldweiss
251K Followers 4K Following Editor @insidereng, @foreignoffpod. ISIS: Inside the Army of Terror: https://t.co/zOgJMJGUl5. Next book: GRU @twelvebooks. [email protected]
Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds
21.5M Followers 2K Following owner: @aviationgin - @MintMobile - @maximumeffort - @Wrexham_AFC
Nils Lofgren @nilslofgren
143K Followers 18K Following Musician, songwriter, guitarist and member of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and Neil Young and Crazy Horse. I married a warrior. Rebel Choir Boy
Kevin Addict @addictionblogge
246 Followers 104 Following I'm an advocate for drug and alcohol addiction rehab who writes helpful info for addicts and others with substance abuse issues. And I like chocolate.
New York Magazine @NYMag
1.8M Followers 1K Following This is New York: @thecut @vulture @intelligencer @curbed @grubstreet @strategist Subscribe: https://t.co/eO5NQ0hSUF Get 'One Great Story' every day: https://t.co/FtV7tlY7aX
Brian Stelter @brianstelter
784K Followers 8K Following Author, https://t.co/sGeOrrfY95 / Special correspondent, @VanityFair / Host, "Inside the Hive" / Producer, @TheMorningShow / Stay-at-home dad / bstelter@gmail
Adam Baer @glassshallot
3K Followers 3K Following Write, edit, consult, pod/prod, music (v.), live disabled, and advise writers. Some pro, some @johnshopkins. Written for: NYT, NPR, Harper's, Atlantic, LAT, etc
Leija Battah PR @LeijaBattahPR
3K Followers 3K Following
Joe Bel Bruno @JoeBelBruno
6K Followers 2K Following Seasoned biz & entertainment news chief. Former AP, WSJ, LA Times and Variety.
Bret Baier @BretBaier
1.5M Followers 9K Following Chief Political Anchor @FoxNews. Anchor & Executive Editor of @SpecialReport 6-time NYT bestselling author-“To Rescue The Constitution” is the latest on sale
@kathygriffin @GarryShandling @mrbobodenkirk OMG. Such wonderment here in this pic!
Do you all remember how beautiful and safe a place Brussels was. Not anymore, it is from a different world! U.S. must be vigilant and smart!
@johnlevenstein @shoemakermike @mmalkoff #Nesmith 80s NBC series gave "comedy video" exposure @whoopigoldberg @GarryShandling @JerrySeinfeld
No relation to @BernieSanders but I'm rewatching The Larry Sanders boxset. Surely one of the best tv series of all time. @GarryShandling
Let's put an end to this now: x.com/iamcrystalange…
. @GarryShandling you're definitely the more handsome and talented brother. #GOPDebate
My jaw just shattered on the sidewalk x.com/msnbc/status/7…
Hillary Clinton: The Reagans, particularly Nancy, helped start "a national conversation" about HIV and AIDS. nbcnews.to/1RcyBSw
Yes @RonHaskell and you were right there with me for mine! Mahalo for the continued support. x.com/ronhaskell/sta…
.@SenSanders pulls off the big upset in Michigan with support from @TulsiGabbard who knows a thing or two about big primary comebacks.
@Lesley71 @BernieSanders Thanks for coming out and showing your support!
@VanJones68 @DykstraDame The people I'm meeting out here on the trail w/ @BernieSanders are energetic, inspiring, and full of hope!
And how is your hangover this morning? #LoveOnNetflix
@boydhilton @GarryShandling Genius! It's the best #ComediansinCarsGettingCoffee yet! Pick you up in my mini next week? We'll go to Costa.
Penny Johonson@btwpro I heard your screening went great, today. Would you DM me your email address, so I can tweet it out? Love, G
@FarrahFawcettFN @Fred_Willard A great day with great folks.Jeff Garlin,Tom Kenny,David Deluise,Bill Fagerbakke,Sandy billon,Marla Garlin
Louis CK was the best presenter of the night #Oscars on.nowth.is/ujm
@IamCrystalAngel did a drunken Kanye appear yet and berate an Oscar winner yet? #Oscars
@GarryShandling @IamCrystalAngel one of you would make a heck of a comedian
just watched Grayson Allen trip another opponent. Man is he a dirty player
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