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Tweets7K
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Followers464K
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Following722
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Likes583
Warren & @GarryShandling during his appearance on The Larry Sanders Show, Season 2 Episode 15 "Off Camera" vote.rockhall.com
(2014) I actually have in my will, that I don’t want to be disconnected from the respirator if it’s being covered by CNN
(1997) They’ve been showing OJ Simpson being chased in his Bronco over and over again the past couple of days. And you know, I live in Brentwood and I make basically that same drive every day with a gun to my head, and no one gives a damn. So what is that about?
Message to a friend: You can count me in, although I still hold the right to back out, as I do in any relationship
There's a fine line between making me laugh, flirting, and just scaring the shit out of me.
On @jimmykimmel at the 2012 White House Correspondents' Dinner: "he was right to go a little long just to show that he can really go on and on and on if he wants to."
How to spice up the Oscars. The winner of the last Oscar on the show just stands there, not knowing what to do as the closing theme and credits begin.
From notes: My female shrink had a great expression relative to relationships: Love and ten cents will buy you a cup of coffee.
(2011) My buddy already tweeted, What city is Lebron going to now?
I am the best defensive back in the NFL. That's why I pat so many guys on the ass.
...another shit super bowl....too soon? (2013)
The Grammy’s with Tina Turner youtube.com/shorts/mxW4UQ1…
Hosting the 1990 Grammy Awards
I've noticed when you throw a punch that just goes into air, it feels like the whole world sees it -- like a batter striking out. When the fact is, those misses are just part of the game. (2012 notes)
2010 note for a friend: "I can't believe you are moving back East. Taylor Swift and her mother are coming over tonight."
I am a very ethical moral guy, so I would never have sex with a married woman. That’s why I can’t get married. I tell you this, right there at the honeymoon, I would say, this makes me feel awkward
Just been asked to host the very prestigious "Fourth Day after Emmys," special, exploring the realization that everyone's just human.
Brother Phap Hai of Deer Park Monastery quoting Garry's Journal: "Give more to others. Get outside “yourself.” Keep your heart open and have fun. Keep mind clear. Make it fun for them. Open heart, kindness, truth, compassion. Follow your instincts."
Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
2.3M Followers 2K FollowingBob Newhart @BobNewhart
225K Followers 69 Following Official Twitter Page for Bob Newhart - comedian / actor / all around nice guy Also on Facebook http://t.co/aRL8i5ZeCGTodd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcastDave Foley @DaveSFoley
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837K Followers 2K Following “Bumping Mics” “Historical Roasts” “Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals” Alopecia advocacy: https://t.co/LpQck3RhiOJ. Elvis Weinstein @JElvisWeinstein
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15K Followers 877 Following Author of: The Comedians. We Had a Little Real Estate Problem. Outrageous: Showbiz & the Culture Wars. And watch George Carlin's American Dream.Alan Zweibel @AlanZweibel
19K Followers 2K Following Comedy writer, author, playwright, all-around great guy. SNL, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Garry Shandling, etc. https://t.co/I6mq11XtMNGilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert
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41K Followers 11K Following I hope you feel light. I’m on Threads. For a PDF copy of my book Swear on Lily, go to the last page of my website: https://t.co/L6jblQylf1RealGilbertACP @RealGilbertACP
15K Followers 2K Following Comedy legend Gilbert Gottfried's podcast about Hollywood history, co-hosted by Frank Santopadre. ENCORE episodes every Monday, CLASSIC episodes every Thursday.Brian Posehn @thebrianposehn
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22K Followers 422 Following It's me, Mike Reiss! 4x Emmy Award-Winning writer & producer for @TheSimpsons.Kimberly Mitchell @KimberlyMi81183
0 Followers 5 FollowingJennifer Phillips @JenniferPh89484
0 Followers 4 Followinghannatu ABUBAKAR @Hanny_show
8 Followers 82 FollowingDana Lewis @Ossie2Go
1 Followers 31 FollowingTweet release @JMcDesert
4 Followers 324 FollowingC. Grove @CGrove12076625
6 Followers 349 FollowingEmily @Emily2291857100
0 Followers 191 FollowingMagda Stockwell @MagdaStock52821
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35 Followers 2K FollowingShawnte Marie @MarieShawn29946
0 Followers 5 FollowingMireille Guillia @MGuillia85262
0 Followers 97 FollowingLori Gibson @LoriGibson84201
0 Followers 5 Followingelonmusk1222 @elonmusk1262897
16 Followers 728 FollowingKari Wade @KariWad82851253
34 Followers 997 FollowingPatricia Farmer @PatriciaFa5216
0 Followers 0 FollowingAshley Price @AshleyPric74472
0 Followers 4 FollowingBrian Erb @BrianEr93815136
28 Followers 15 FollowingKari Gray @KariGray196425
0 Followers 6 FollowingChristina Flores @ChristinaF81092
0 Followers 4 FollowingMary Reeter @Catherine_mcr
26 Followers 753 FollowingBILL RYAN @faceyouhate
7K Followers 2K Following "Ut!" - The Flaming Carrot Bylines at @bulwarkonline and @ebertvoices and @oscopelabs and @decider. I am ready & willing to be hired. https://t.co/d5BTT1POHRmike coen @mikecoen1
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7K Followers 4K Following I’m very famous. Beloved by people the world over for my stunning insights into the human condition. Co-host of @pacino_pod with @kaliebudHermit Crab in the Ci.. @robes_dot_robes
158 Followers 918 Following I'm a hermit and a crab, and I live in this cityJason @RedHautePoker
261 Followers 840 Following Lazy Mofo | Cork Sniffer | Denholm Elliott Stan | "Haste when choosing a life path invites failure."BES-5 @BES_5_FNR
5 Followers 84 Following Thermoelectric appreciator. Low-key user here with occasional replies and posts.Dawn Heo @DawnHeo50427
0 Followers 5 FollowingTim Hodgin @tim_hodgin
470 Followers 2K FollowingAnna Summers @AnnaSummer14524
0 Followers 4 FollowingDan Daly @dandalyonsports
3K Followers 212 Following Unrestricted free agent sportswriter, NFL Films talking head, author of The National Forgotten League. Check out my website at http://t.co/0OYw9cnhHN.Tom Mckeown @TomMckeown19
106 Followers 572 Followingdino spumoni @YourUncleKyle
461 Followers 235 Following you likely know me for playing the lead role in Buffy the Vampire Slayeree @notagainstart
80 Followers 721 FollowingJill Scott @JillScott133125
0 Followers 4 FollowingKimberly Moring @KimberlyMo81155
0 Followers 4 FollowingRobin Hill @RobinHill679453
0 Followers 5 FollowingM. T. Cicero @cicero_kc
16 Followers 79 FollowingCharlotte @Charlot30048380
26 Followers 652 Following Loving life army bae stress free baby idiot sick fucking 🌲DudesJennifer Doebereiner @doebereine5154
0 Followers 5 FollowingMHD The Armchair ‘P.. @ArmchairPriest
2K Followers 2K Following Creator sent me to expose all evil- from EVERY UNBIASED angle possible: { AnuUrash= AtumRa= AtmanMaya= AhuraMazda= ELahAshera= Alilah= GOD= ‘JESUS’ }Mary @Mary97234892711
0 Followers 24 FollowingHeather Williams @HeatherWil40226
0 Followers 4 FollowingArelis Althea @AltheaArel76459
0 Followers 5 Followingmarc maron @marcmaron
880K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.Judd Apatow 🇺🇦 @JuddApatow
2.3M Followers 2K FollowingBob Newhart @BobNewhart
225K Followers 69 Following Official Twitter Page for Bob Newhart - comedian / actor / all around nice guy Also on Facebook http://t.co/aRL8i5ZeCGAlbert Brooks @AlbertBrooks
1.6M Followers 1 Following Filmmaker, actor, author Albert Brooks. Originally joined Twitter to promote my book. Now trapped. Can't get out. HELP. https://t.co/UJ2cdAYZ57Todd Barry @toddbarry
300K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff & @ToddBarryPdcastScott Thompson @ScottThompson_
96K Followers 876 Following Comedian, Writer, Actor, Singer/Songwriter, Kid in the Hall, Currently on Tour as "Buddy Cole" in KING!Jeff Ross @realjeffreyross
837K Followers 2K Following “Bumping Mics” “Historical Roasts” “Jeff Ross Roasts Criminals” Alopecia advocacy: https://t.co/LpQck3RhiODanny Zuker @DannyZuker
295K Followers 2K Following Exec Producer on ABC's Modern Family. So many flops. Check out my podcast https://t.co/zp3qqRUeDSMaria Bamford @mariabamfoo
215K Followers 773 Following Stand-Up Comedy Since the 1900s 📚 Pre-Order Scott's & My Graphic Novel 📚 Tour Dates on website! Want to come to a show but No $? Ariamaamfordba@gmailAlan Zweibel @AlanZweibel
19K Followers 2K Following Comedy writer, author, playwright, all-around great guy. SNL, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Garry Shandling, etc. https://t.co/I6mq11XtMNGilbert Gottfried @RealGilbert
407K Followers 2K Following The official Twitter page for Gilbert GottfriedWendy Liebman ☮️ @WendyLiebman
41K Followers 11K Following I hope you feel light. I’m on Threads. For a PDF copy of my book Swear on Lily, go to the last page of my website: https://t.co/L6jblQylf1Aimee Mann @aimeemann
138K Followers 893 Following New video "Suicide Is Murder" out now https://t.co/i4bTENiy1DHarry Shearer @theharryshearer
133K Followers 1K Following Simpsons, Tap, Derek, #leshow....PS: Name-calling gets you blocked. Trying to run a nice place here.Jonathan Katz @jonathan_katz
31K Followers 1K Following Emmy Award-Winning Comedian • Writer • Actor • Producer - My Podcast "Hey, We’re Back" (Featuring Sarah Silverman, Garry Shandling, Robin Williams, and More)Merrill Markoe @Merrillmarkoe
35K Followers 1K Following Writer.Graphic novel https://t.co/wDPieYKKz5 audio:THE INDIGNITIES of BEING A WOMAN https://t.co/VUgIp7wveU SUBSTACK https://t.co/cxqJd97CgoJason Narducy @SplitSingleband
10K Followers 563 Following Bob Mould Band, Superchunk, Split Single, Verböten the musicalTexas College Basebal.. @TexasCollegeBSB
12K Followers 1K Following Your home for college baseball news and updates in Texas | Thank your student managers 🙌 lAll Things Comedy @allthingscomedy
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1K Followers 532 Following I tell stories and help people tell theirs. Stories on The Moth, This American Life and more. Subscribe free to The Story Letter! https://t.co/YYuBJ8vs6YJoe Nocera @opinion_joe
24K Followers 2K Following Latest podcast: American Dreamer: Who Was Jay Gatsby (Audible) Latest book: The Big Fail. Latest writing gig: The Free Press. And still time to tweet!Swingset Creative @SwingsetAgency
19 Followers 41 Following A boutique digital agency specializing in authentic brand voice and dynamic creative content.TK Littles @TKLittles
10K Followers 212 Following The unofficial twitter account of the Tony Kornheiser Show Littles. We can't have the Mr. Tony experience, but we can tweet! #TKLittlesCountess Popinoff @CountessPopinov
171 Followers 87 Following I like caffeine and talking crap. I also have CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and a highly uncooperative body.Wanda Sykes @iamwandasykes
551K Followers 1K Following Comic, producer, writer, stunt double, wife, mother, and know-it-all. Coming to a city near you...maybe. Check the website for tour dates.Lena Dunham @lenadunham
5.0M Followers 724 Following Good Thing Going | Stream #CatherineCalledBirdy on Amazon Prime 🕊️Game of Thrones @GameOfThrones
8.1M Followers 35K Following All Must Choose. The @HBO original series #HouseoftheDragon Season 2 premieres June 16 on @StreamonMax. #HOTDMosheh Oinounou @Mosheh
13K Followers 6K Following ▶️Media Consultant ▶️https://t.co/nRtJst39Mp ▶️Curating news @mosheh @instagram ▶️Former @CBS @Bloomberg @FoxNews ▶️https://t.co/yooZ0NwB4fKristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.Entrepreneur @Entrepreneur
3.6M Followers 1K Following Inspiring, informing and celebrating entrepreneurs.Danielle Miraglia @dmiraglia
4K Followers 4K Following Guitarist/Singer/Songwriter - New album-Bright Shining Stars w/ @VizzTone #15 debut on @billboard Blues charts. https://t.co/K9wQbKBCiZAlan Schimmel @SchimmelEsq
60 Followers 152 FollowingRon Howard @RealRonHoward
2.5M Followers 486 Following Family Man & StorySmith Co-Founder of Imagine Entertainment𝕸𝖗.𝕳𝖞𝖉.. @thegeekinside71
1K Followers 955 Following #MysteryHorrorTheatre creator and host of the Crypt Cast Show.Vulture @vulture
510K Followers 1K Following Devouring culture. Get Vulture's daily newsletter: https://t.co/53G4SuuNKVSam Morril @sammorril
215K Followers 930 Following Stand-up Comic. Knicks fan. See me in your city: https://t.co/NGdY2cYtXPSuzie Hunter ⚾️ @TheSuzieHunter
40K Followers 16K Following Covering the Rockies for @DNVR_Sports • Drove to every MLB park in 2021 • 1/2 of @nacho_scout • Delco baby • Bobby Valentine invented the wrapComedians in Cars @cicgcshow
27K Followers 195 Following The talk show about nothing by @JerrySeinfeld. Freshly Brewed episodes, now streaming on @Netflix.Liza Donnelly @lizadonnelly
30K Followers 5K Following NewYorker cartoonist/writer. NYT/WaPo. Author of Very Funny Ladies. Screenwriter. Vassar Visiting Scholar https://t.co/RlmDQ09FukJohn Cleese @JohnCleese
5.6M Followers 253 Following Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel TrainerRedditCFB @RedditCFB
347K Followers 283 Following The official account for /r/CFB, the home of college football on Reddit | 🎙️/r/CFB Talk | @OurCFB is our 501(C)(3)The Hill @thehill
4.4M Followers 345 Following The Hill is the premier source for policy and political news. Follow for tweets on what's happening in Washington, breaking news and retweets of our reporters.Alyssa Milano @Alyssa_Milano
3.4M Followers 7K Following 💎 NOT PAYING FOR A BLUE CHECK MARK! Check out @sorrynotsorry @NoRA4USA Please follow my other account for career updates @AlyssaDotCom Text Me: (323)396-9923Jay Brand @JayBrand414
86 Followers 863 Following Love the PACKERS,BUCKS AND BREWERS Also work 4 We Energies so I can retire at 55 & GOLF everydayCher @cher
3.9M Followers 185 Following Stand & B Counted or Sit & B Nothing. Don't Litter,Chew Gum,Walk Past Homeless PPL w/out Smile.DOESNT MATTER in 5 yrs IT DOESNT MATTER THERE'S ONLY LOVE&FEARJason Ritter 🦋 @JasonRitter
208K Followers 4K Following My only existence is for your amusement, and that is why I'm here with you. (he/him)David Daniel @davidda.. @CNNLADavid
6K Followers 3K Following Entertainment journalist. Reader. West Wing & Firefly fan. I tweet stories which interest me, especially #FindTheGood items. #TEAMMOLLY #TeamBeans he/him 🟦Michael Weiss @michaeldweiss
251K Followers 4K Following Editor @insidereng, @foreignoffpod. ISIS: Inside the Army of Terror: https://t.co/zOgJMJGUl5. Next book: GRU @twelvebooks. [email protected]Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds
21.5M Followers 2K Following owner: @aviationgin - @MintMobile - @maximumeffort - @Wrexham_AFCNils Lofgren @nilslofgren
143K Followers 18K Following Musician, songwriter, guitarist and member of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band and Neil Young and Crazy Horse. I married a warrior. Rebel Choir BoyKevin Addict @addictionblogge
246 Followers 104 Following I'm an advocate for drug and alcohol addiction rehab who writes helpful info for addicts and others with substance abuse issues. And I like chocolate.New York Magazine @NYMag
1.8M Followers 1K Following This is New York: @thecut @vulture @intelligencer @curbed @grubstreet @strategist Subscribe: https://t.co/eO5NQ0hSUF Get 'One Great Story' every day: https://t.co/FtV7tlY7aXBrian Stelter @brianstelter
784K Followers 8K Following Author, https://t.co/sGeOrrfY95 / Special correspondent, @VanityFair / Host, "Inside the Hive" / Producer, @TheMorningShow / Stay-at-home dad / bstelter@gmailAdam Baer @glassshallot
3K Followers 3K Following Write, edit, consult, pod/prod, music (v.), live disabled, and advise writers. Some pro, some @johnshopkins. Written for: NYT, NPR, Harper's, Atlantic, LAT, etcLeija Battah PR @LeijaBattahPR
3K Followers 3K FollowingJoe Bel Bruno @JoeBelBruno
6K Followers 2K Following Seasoned biz & entertainment news chief. Former AP, WSJ, LA Times and Variety.Bret Baier @BretBaier
1.5M Followers 9K Following Chief Political Anchor @FoxNews. Anchor & Executive Editor of @SpecialReport 6-time NYT bestselling author-“To Rescue The Constitution” is the latest on sale@kathygriffin @GarryShandling @mrbobodenkirk OMG. Such wonderment here in this pic!
Do you all remember how beautiful and safe a place Brussels was. Not anymore, it is from a different world! U.S. must be vigilant and smart!
@johnlevenstein @shoemakermike @mmalkoff #Nesmith 80s NBC series gave "comedy video" exposure @whoopigoldberg @GarryShandling @JerrySeinfeld
No relation to @BernieSanders but I'm rewatching The Larry Sanders boxset. Surely one of the best tv series of all time. @GarryShandling
Let's put an end to this now: x.com/iamcrystalange…
. @GarryShandling you're definitely the more handsome and talented brother. #GOPDebate
My jaw just shattered on the sidewalk x.com/msnbc/status/7…
Hillary Clinton: The Reagans, particularly Nancy, helped start "a national conversation" about HIV and AIDS. nbcnews.to/1RcyBSw
Yes @RonHaskell and you were right there with me for mine! Mahalo for the continued support. x.com/ronhaskell/sta…
.@SenSanders pulls off the big upset in Michigan with support from @TulsiGabbard who knows a thing or two about big primary comebacks.
@Lesley71 @BernieSanders Thanks for coming out and showing your support!
@VanJones68 @DykstraDame The people I'm meeting out here on the trail w/ @BernieSanders are energetic, inspiring, and full of hope!
And how is your hangover this morning? #LoveOnNetflix
@boydhilton @GarryShandling Genius! It's the best #ComediansinCarsGettingCoffee yet! Pick you up in my mini next week? We'll go to Costa.
Penny Johonson@btwpro I heard your screening went great, today. Would you DM me your email address, so I can tweet it out? Love, G
@FarrahFawcettFN @Fred_Willard A great day with great folks.Jeff Garlin,Tom Kenny,David Deluise,Bill Fagerbakke,Sandy billon,Marla Garlin
Louis CK was the best presenter of the night #Oscars on.nowth.is/ujm
@IamCrystalAngel did a drunken Kanye appear yet and berate an Oscar winner yet? #Oscars
@GarryShandling @IamCrystalAngel one of you would make a heck of a comedian
just watched Grayson Allen trip another opponent. Man is he a dirty player