The Element SA @_Pew__Pew
Joined December 2020-
Tweets152
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Followers17
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Following87
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Likes546
The Element SA retweeted
me: [being murdered] wait are you boosted?
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The Element SA retweeted
Me: Siri, smite my enemies. Siri: Calling Smith, Emily.
The Element SA retweeted
me: thanks so much i o u them: it's pronounced lou
The Element SA retweeted
I had Pfizer. I Pfeel Pfine. No side ePfPfects.
The Element SA retweeted
*growing up in a family of six kids* Love you dad! Dad:
The Element SA retweeted
Ok but how fukin TIGHT was it rearranging your room when you were younger and it feeling like a different space and you’d show your parents and they’d be like wow very nice and you’d be like FUCK yes new room new me
The Element SA retweeted
Third time's a charm -me, on my seventh time
The Element SA retweeted
someone: ' are u ok? ' me :
The Element SA retweeted
I have never been pissed off by potatoes.
The Element SA retweeted
Curriculum Vitae sounds like a Harry Potter spell to get a job
When someone speaks when your favorite song is on.
The Element SA retweeted
A good measure of how happy you are is whether you want birds to shut the fuck up.
The Element SA retweeted
[garden center] ME: do you have anything that will help my penis grow CLERK: omg what ME: *says the same sentence and mispronounces peonies again*
The Element SA retweeted
me: i read pets are important for home security wife: omg are we getting a dog me: *opening briefcase full of bees* bees
The Element SA retweeted
at what point should I be concerned how many meals I’m eating of just potato
The Element SA retweeted
Who else read this as a threatening Yoda?
The Element SA retweeted
“I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batcat...”
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