Keeping Social Distance since 1980 @bakkun
Usually tired, always sad, occasionally funny (though still not *Internet funny*). Obsessed with one specific little kid. I do broadcasts for a billionaire. Walnut Creek, CA Joined April 2009-
Tweets2K
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Followers147
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Following671
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Likes17K
Kill meeeeeeee! #MyXAnniversary
My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything I was worried it would become because for fifty seconds I thought there was monsters on the world
My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything I was worried it would become because for fifty seconds I thought there was monsters on the world
Piece of dogshit-ass website @elonmusk
This is an average of less than $14 per "item" you absolute dipshit at Costco you prooably have food for two months at this point
This is an average of less than $14 per "item" you absolute dipshit at Costco you prooably have food for two months at this point
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! It sure does suck shit now, huh?? #MyTwitterAnniversary
Someday someone will compile the stupid shit that happened here today into a coffee table book and I'm going to buy the ever-loving fuck out of it
Shoutouts to @duckvalentine for the most useful pull quote in recorded history. Literally answered the question in my head as I watched the trailer 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary except no of course I don't remember anything I have the internet to remind me so I'll take your word for it I guess
Shoutouts to @Eve6 for getting me to buy a fuckin cassette in 2021 i can literally only listen to it in my wife's car and we're literally getting separated like I get my new keys tomorrow
The wild thing is it started in Oregon? @SheaSerrano and @arturodraws out here making teleporting books for the people
Not to kiss up to @Eve6 or whatever but the heart in blender song just followed About A Girl Unplugged on this Classic Rock station and it's legitimacy as a bop is distracting me from how old I feel rn
Turns out @londongrammar and I agree on Favorite Song From The New Album They Just Performed Live And Stunningly On YouTube 💅🏽 #ineedthenight #californiansoil
I think the important thing to remember is that he basically cancelled himself on a Sunday morning. What a world. #beandad
2020, 24 hours to go...!
Damn what a year (the albums and movies were kind of amazing too...)
Damn what a year (the albums and movies were kind of amazing too...) https://t.co/MzrGcqm6WH
https://t.co/gCp6JGBBRv
Two seconds I watch of that shit and this mfer’s talking about coyotes sneaking kids over the border and somehow I’m the asshole for wanting him to succumb to the hoax/racism flu? Get fucked, America, we are the absolute worst.
Teesmasheaut @teesmashea80687
0 Followers 176 Following
LaurindaDume @LDume67459
21 Followers 788 Following
Latrisha Loghry @LatrishaLo4074
101 Followers 5K Following
Rosalee Kawa @KawaRosale39486
30 Followers 5K Following
Marvella Alires @AliresMarv82082
38 Followers 5K Following
Valerie Lemarr @ValeLemar
61 Followers 5K Following
Alicia Hauch @AlicHauc
66 Followers 5K Following
Lynda Kinnard @KinnarLyn
56 Followers 5K Following
Diane Friendly @DianeFrien
19 Followers 3K Following
Verity Hiner @VeriHiner
51 Followers 5K Following
Griselda Reda @GriseldaRe67124
87 Followers 5K Following
Mackenzie Oriol @OriMackenzi
81 Followers 5K Following
Tory Salemi @ToSalemi
72 Followers 5K Following
Velda Raab @VelRaab
66 Followers 5K Following
Hillary ❤️ @hillayts957965
23 Followers 2K Following Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @hillary_ts
Barbi 💕 @tsprada790312
11 Followers 1K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main @pradabarbix
Fesughoo @fesughoo98890
22 Followers 2K Following
Barbi 🍧 @tsprada243764
9 Followers 1K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main @pradabarbix
Hillary ❤️ @hilarybad62775
21 Followers 2K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active here, follow @hillary_ts
Missy 💋 @Missy_ts863462
100 Followers 3K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ private account 🤗 follow my main @transmissy
Annabelle 💗 @tannabelle3232
26 Followers 2K Following trans girl 🏳️⚧️ i’m not active here, follow @xts_annabelle
Martha Convery @MartConve
39 Followers 5K Following
Barbi 🍩 @adea_ts83633
27 Followers 1K Following Post-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @pradabarbix
Hillary ❤️ @arun_adivasi
24 Followers 2K Following Pre-Op Trans girl 🏳️⚧️ princess with a twist follow my main account @hillary_ts
Tu Licause @licause7657
25 Followers 5K Following
Moriah Arneberg @arneber_moria
31 Followers 5K Following
Alexis Tavarez @AlexisTavar
29 Followers 5K Following
Vickie Greeno @GreenoVick75795
57 Followers 5K Following
Pearly Lazzar @PearLazza
26 Followers 5K Following
Natalia Zelada @zela_nata
76 Followers 5K Following
Liz Romaine @LizRomai
45 Followers 5K Following
Arla Lookadoo @lookad_a
57 Followers 5K Following
Charis Acerno @acerno66010
61 Followers 5K Following
Trixie Mamone @MamoneTrix28114
55 Followers 5K Following
Aysha Secrest @AySecre
52 Followers 5K Following
Katherina Patik @KatheriPat
40 Followers 5K Following
Sadie Genson @gens_sad
52 Followers 5K Following
Adley Bretto @adley_bre
47 Followers 5K Following
Maggie Earleywine @MEarleywin93446
68 Followers 5K Following
Livia Hallman @hallman94112
69 Followers 5K Following
Obdulia Mearns @MearnObdu
62 Followers 5K Following
Justice Stick @stic_justi
63 Followers 5K Following
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENicholson
314K Followers 467 Following video maker • pro gamer • #1 avatarhead na'vi nation zola‘u nìprrte’ • sonic fans don't interact
AFK Journey @AFK_Journey
126K Followers 7 Following AFK Journey is a free-to-play ethereal fantasy RPG. Experience a blend of AFK gameplay with new strategic layers and amazing stories!
Esmarelda Fitzmonster @corihealey
2K Followers 1K Following beautiful and humble and talented and also a liar https://t.co/mqbSc28m2y
Natasha Tara Petrovi�.. @999DeadDraculas
14K Followers 762 Following Illustrator + Comic Artist. Did the webcomic, Ophiuchus. Is as spooky as 1000DeadDraculas She/Her 📨: [email protected] 🛒: https://t.co/TEwFHvjkSQ
first ethical space c.. @cowboybecsbop
16K Followers 352 Following big fan of guitar hero and swords. sasquatch is real and he is scared of me
Christine McGlade @cmcglade
2K Followers 792 Following Designer, futurist, facilitator/educator. Lurker more than poster.
Incorrect Final Fanta.. @IncorrectFFQTS
53K Followers 13 Following Incorrect Quotes and Text Posts account focusing on the Final Fantasy series | Memes: @FFantasyMemes | Want to contribute? DM Submissions to: @DiaLancea🏳️🌈
actual heathcliff com.. @RealHeathcliffs
56K Followers 54 Following real, actual, unedited heathcliff comics. not affiliated with heathcliff in any way, just a fan. run by @connorclang
Coach Yac 🗣 @Coach_Yac
38K Followers 1K Following Just a Niners fan. Former contributor for Fourth and Nine that provided social/video content on the 49ers
LogoArchive @LogoArchive
95K Followers 165 Following Modernist logo archive, international research initiative & zine series. A project by @richbaird
good reddit @GoodReddit
1.3M Followers 130 Following owned by a bag of marbles // sometimes bad or questionable reddit // dm for submissions
tatum @planetgraves
10K Followers 646 Following confused and confusing.. ⋆.ೃ scroll at your own risk..
⚢ Maha .°• 🖤 @MahaSlaoui
17K Followers 615 Following Ne vous résignez jamais ! ~ Gisèle Halimi ~ La femme est le rayon de la lumière divine. ~ Djalâl ad-Dîn Rûmî ~
Anthony Davis 💥 @theanthonydavis
22K Followers 3K Following British journalist & broadcaster, podcaster, voiceover. @FiveMinNews 📰 @MeidasTouch host🎙️Old Twitter verified since July 2016 🇬🇧🇺🇸
Chef Reactions @ChefReactions
329K Followers 583 Following Extra Salty | Side of Sarcasm *BS allergy* that annoying, monotone chef from TikTok
Robert Mays @robertmays
132K Followers 1K Following Host of The Athletic Football Show. Formerly of Grantland and The Ringer. [email protected]
Greb Comics 🐸 @GrebComics
35K Followers 105 Following Comics for wholesome frogs 🐸 Check out the https://t.co/GMOi56nwOV for merch! ✨ https://t.co/1Iy5qI1kqC for commissions 🐧 https://t.co/EzvQF6w1sE 🐸
David Lombardi @LombardiHimself
118K Followers 684 Following SF 49ers coverage @TheAthletic. Contact: [email protected].
Is Mitch McConnell De.. @IsMitchDeadYet
14K Followers 3 Following This account will check Wikipedia once a day to report on whether or not the worst senator in US history has shuffled off this mortal coil.
Midwest Modern @JoshLipnik
120K Followers 831 Following Architecture, Art, and Design from the Midwest | Subscribe on Patreon: https://t.co/DJqLP7OoZM | Contact at [email protected]
Olly Moss @ollymoss
86K Followers 1K Following Making games at Valve. Previously: Firewatch, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Garfield. Throw me in the bin.
lined cats @lined_cats
250K Followers 148 Following he/him . sharing one lined cats and one viral tweets daily. | backup - @linedanimals | Commission open |
Azumanga Daioh Panels @AzumangaPanels
49K Followers 6 Following Tweets out manga panels from Azumanga Daioh. sister bot: @AzumangaCaps
Alison After Dark �.. @AmericanHussy
49K Followers 864 Following the h*rny posting rambling of a mental genius https://t.co/GmI8CdWtqV
Remap @RemapRadio
14K Followers 18 Following A new adventure from the creators of Waypoint, featuring @patrickklepek, @robzacny, @a_cado_appears—and funded by you. Art by @thebadbucket
Tim Heidecker™ Offi.. @timheidecker
536K Followers 505 Following The ONLY official Tim Heidecker account (held in receivership by #ViralPhil Braun.) #TimHeidecker new season of On Cinema starts NOW
James Turner @JamesTurner_42
159K Followers 303 Following Co-Director of The Plucky Squire and co-founder of All Possible Futures @apossf | Prev: Pokémon designer, Art Director for Pokémon | Carbon-based
𝐋𝐨𝐰 𝐏𝐨.. @PolyDepression
143K Followers 335 Following | Vohyak | 🌴 90s & 00s gaming creator, curator and artist 💾 OC and retro preservation ☻ @GOGcom Partner Biz: [email protected]
Hbomberguy @Hbomberguy
489K Followers 4K Following 🖥️ Gaming Youtuber, Media Critic, Philosopher King 🤴 💙 https://t.co/vKvrwjA92K 📩 Enquiries to [email protected]
yana @exaltiora
35K Followers 30 Following when it grows bright, the particles start to marvel having made it through the night
I Think You Should Af.. @youshouldaffirm
5K Followers 403 Following ITYSL memes and shitposts, also on instagram @ithinkyoushouldaffirm
Brett Goldstein @brettgoldstein
300K Followers 2K Following Actor. Writer. Comic. Swimmer. Ted Lasso. Shrinking. Soulmates. SuperBob. Adult Life Skills. Drifters. Anything to avoid a dinner party. IG: mrbrettgoldstein
thank you for this @dril
1.8M Followers 425 Following My posts help mentally ill peoples brains. I want to do good. I Want to bring value to this platform. That is my Quest. My Dream
Chloe Condon @ChloeCondon
58K Followers 8K Following Developer Advocate @Google ☁️ & recovering musical theatre girl 👩💻🎭🎶 prev: @Microsoft 📎 Former child, current meme sommelier ✨🖼️
Sarah Langs @SlangsOnSports
125K Followers 3K Following @MLB. Previously: @ESPN, @CSNChicago, @SNYtv & @MetsBlog. Plus, @UChicagoCollege and @ChicagoMaroon sports. Go Maroons. (Views my own.) https://t.co/WkFKDYgJ9B
Color Schemer @colorschemer
141K Followers 1 Following Find colors that go well together. 🤖 AI-sourced, hand-selected schemes 💙 to train the bot to understand what's good 🦋 fresh schemes posted twice per day
Supper Mario Broth @MarioBrothBlog
252K Followers 1 Following Additional obscure Mario content for https://t.co/dnoCmFYG8N. Now on Patreon: https://t.co/mgIlC7Z17t
ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl
145K Followers 3K Following tv/film writer, comic, queer. host @podshamespiral, copy @iamthirtyaf & co-host @gayshamecomedy- next show 4/16 @unionhallny! mgmt: @zerogravitymgmt
GamerGate 3 Deals @gamergate3deals
10K Followers 18 Following I am fighting back against DEI in gaming as an Amazon Associate who earns from qualifying purchases.
We're just normal men @wejustnormalmen
103K Followers 3 Following A weekly reminder that we're just normal men. Important to remember each and every Monday. We're just innocent men. Posts not affiliated to the 3 followed accs.
Cheap Ass Gamer @videogamedeals
479K Followers 438 Following @thorbahn3 shares video game deals via CAG. As Amazon Associates, we earn from qualifying purchases. Contests & More: https://t.co/QZsWI7bS2Y
stephensben at bluesk.. @stephens_ben
9K Followers 10K Following Writer/editor. US/UK. He/him. Born at 331ppm of CO2. Still hanging in there with Twitter, but definitely keeping a clear eye on the exits at all times.
pussy too big
Why do humans have two balls or two boobs but only one cock and one butthole and one vajina?
I’m converting cyber culture to analog/paint in case the power goes out
tonight’s watch: a Cosmatos family double feature
At what point after seeing the same people at the gym every morning are you required to start saying hello? Please say it’s 10 years
White supremacist march attendees are mostly men because they don’t know how to make women come.
White supremacist group Patriot Front marching through the streets of Charleston, WV on Saturday.
I can't believe when Palpatine throws kylo ren down the chasm in Rise of Skywalker they literally have him say "now you are going to get thrown just as I was thrown in an earlier movie"
The 49ers are on the clock at No. 124 right now for two reasons: 1. They made a trade to send Trey Lance to the Cowboys for No. 124 overall. 2. The Cowboys were originally scheduled to pick at No. 124 because they were the 124th-best team in the NFL, according to the rules.
To all my Niners, I’m all about representing. What are some things I must know? Traditions? History? Culture? Lingo?
I mean do yall just wanna fight?
‘CHALLENGERS’ releases in theaters today!
shout out to all the older comics that told me a 21 year old kid at the time that just started comedy to quit bc I was more of a writer than I was a performer. they’ve all either quit, still do the same open mics they were doing in 2016, or have asked to open for me 😴
I wish more OGs would reach back & embrace the youngins that deserve it. Cam Patterson's story way too common in Black Comedy. Also...how bad do you have to be at selling drugs that they ask you to resign? 🤣
Multiple people have made this comparison as a dig in the past 12 hours. You think it’s BAD to look like this man? This aesthetic is aspirational, if anything.
@robertmays Calm down Armand
call me anakin skywalker the way I'm fricking up these yuenglings
A burning desire to fake my own death and start over as a mysterious but respected bartender in a coastal New England town
Besides your phone, wallet and keys, what do you carry with you everyday?
it's important to have a friend whose house is like a bed rotting resort. you order breakfast. you watch tv in silence. you take a nap in their bed. then it's dinner and you order takeout. a no brain cells day
I’m no comedian but wouldn’t “autocorrect is always ducking up the punchline” be a much better joke?
damn you, auto-correct... 🎤 Jimmy Carr: Natural Born Killer now playing only on Netflix
just watched The Beekeeper and there’s a line in it where someone, without a shred of intentional humor, basically goes “he’s called a beekeepers because like bee, he doesn’t stop working until he dies. anyway he’s retired” incredible
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