Hacky Ballsack @davetwojackets
Writer of awful jokes and puns hewritesnowandthen.blogspot.co.uk Swindon Joined November 2013-
Tweets6K
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Followers590
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Following805
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Likes47K
Is it me just me. But does anyone else think Sarah looks like KD Lang?#popmastertv
Am I the only person who thinks that Mr Rajan is condescending and rude if contestants get a wrong answer? Or is it a badge of honour to be 'told off'?
Could Celador tell Clarkson to keep his opinions to himself about what people want to spend their winnings on #WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire
#GoldCrackers The world's biggest steel tycoon died this year. It's time to say Tata
#GoldCrackers Keir starmer thought he was given tickets for Joker 2, but it turned out to be a turkey
What OLP song made you a fan?
Watching the 1st episode of #DouglasIsCancelled and, although a good script, it's all too dark, as I can't see anyone cos there's not enough lighting
URGENT REQUEST FOR HELP FROM NHS STAFF: NHS England will cut funding for mental health support for hospital staff from tomorrow Please take 30 seconds to sign this open letter to Amanda Pritchard if you agree they should reconsider👇 docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAI… Please RT too
#universitychallenge Am I the only person that thinks it rude and patronising of Amol to repeat an answer with his own pronunciation, as if to say they're wrong?
Did I hear the question about a fish as a 1 word answer but Amol said Keta Salmon. Two words surely?
#sidesplittingsunday My girlfriend asked my trumpet playing friend if he also had piles. He said no, I just have the horn
My life coach told me there are 6 things not to put in text messages. 1; Dick pics 2; Dick pics 3; Dick pics 4; Dick pics 5; Dick pics 6;Dick pics
#GMB when showing the volume of people who lost their lives in Turkey, the term is Death Toll, not Poll
My mate finally found a gripping hand for his Action Man. He says It's the thing that finishes him off #RateMyPun
As a Teen, I got arrested for throwing a brick at a football match. I got sent off with a penalty #Tuesdaytitter
My mate bought a house that was full of white goods. He's now a fridge magnate #RateMyPun
▶️ Audio/Visual Pleasure: Trailer for : Rip it Up & Start Again’ ft @StephenMal @pilofficial @realjahwobble @_markstewart @ThrobbingGrstle, more brooklynvegan.com/watch-a-traile… @brooklynvegan
My mate asked me if I liked conga eels? No, I said, I don't like any dancing sealife #Tuesdaytitters
Mike Reid wrote a book about huge plants that go rogue. He called it The Day of The Triffics #Tuesdaytitters

Alf - currently writi... @whoelsebutalf
15K Followers 13K Following You'll be glad to know, I won't be posting any jokes in future about Protein Powder, Yoghurt or my Tax return. Not in any Whey, Shape or form.
The Bard of Cleasby (... @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC
Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford
9K Followers 8K Following UK Pun Champion 2022 & current SCOTY runner-up. Top 10 Jokes EdinFringe 2019-22. On UK-wide tour in 2025. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened
Richard Stone @RichardStone21
6K Followers 5K Following Ex financial programmer, economics, the 3Rs, humour and puns, walking, nature, music, photography, board games.
The Dad Joke Man @DadJokeMan
138K Followers 4K Following Jokes, puns & funny stuff which makes me laugh & hopefully others too! Not always original, just trying to get through life with a smile!
Gary Miller @gazgagsman
3K Followers 3K Following Turned up on my first day at the supermarket with a piggy bank strapped to the side of my head. I'm now a cash ear.
Stevie Vegas (Steve t... @SteveJuggler
8K Followers 4K Following Professional Entertainer (Juggling/Comedy/Magic/Circus Skills Tutor) 8-time @UKPunOff winner. New #LunchPun joke each day. https://t.co/8h8dDcuhfs
Will @wtebn.bsky.soci... @WTEBN
638 Followers 665 Following Keen photographer of birds, wildlife and other pretty and/or interesting things. Check weblink for prints, digital photos and gifts for sale.
Tony Cowards @TonyCowards
18K Followers 7K Following Sony Award winning writer, stand up and Ipswich fan living in Northumberland. Expect a mixture of jokes and pictures of painted WW2 models.
Gary Delaney is writi... @GaryDelaney
108K Followers 2K Following One-liner comic. New tour Gary in Punderland on sale. Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. Jokes tweeted aren’t in the live shows. First 2 tours now on YouTube.
Peter Cole @petercolepoet
898 Followers 762 Following Smart, funny and handsome - are just some of the words which appear in my bio. All jokes & poems are original (as far as I know, or unless otherwise stated)
UncleTog1️⃣9️�... @tog1989
2K Followers 2K Following Someone has destroyed the dumplings at the local Chinese takeaway, I think that’s Wonton Vandalism. The Man With The Golden Puns. #CFC #Traveller #BrentfordFC
Julian Lee @JulianLeeComedy
2K Followers 2K Following Taking an indefinite break from performing. Doubt my mind will switch off though so still probs hoy some jokes on here. Octopus.
Sharpey @mnsharpelad
737 Followers 1K Following Was on Twitter. Left X, went to Bluesky (https://t.co/A2GppJfRZA). Am back on X too. Although it’s still called Twitter, right?
@upuppunaway @upuppunaway
2K Followers 2K Following Karl and Howie have published two hilarious (?) books full of puns & one liners. Available here on Amazon: https://t.co/dRrXPKsGTI and https://t.co/jMt3swCQTa
Chris Douch @ThisisDouch
2K Followers 2K Following Half of @BishopandDouch | Repped by @NickTurnerMgmt | BAFTA Connect | Nickelodeon | Lego City | CBeebies | #GoldCrackers winner 2023 | Author of @cheesethebook
Martillo Rompe Crista... @bachelorcolumbo
413 Followers 331 Following I was a lonely child, even my imaginary friends hated me.
julie leach @leachjuli8108
83 Followers 7K Following I Won A Lottery Of $310,500,000 million And I Am Giving $30,000 each To The First 500 Followers just DM "Julie I FOLLOWED"
Judgement Dave @Judgement_Dave
464 Followers 1K Following I never said I was funny. Oh... wait. I did didn't I. I was being ironic.
Martin Knight @MartinKnight_
35K Followers 27K Following Author & plagiarist. All views probably other people's. Dwindling. Retired goalhanger. Preferred Sweep over Sooty. Nostalgist. Change not always for the better.
Snanes @Snanesbt1
103 Followers 3K Following
Rebecca Smith @GrahamSmit87472
10 Followers 78 Following I don't believe in reincarnation...but i did in a previous life.
Chris Kemmings @seigekemmings
28 Followers 482 Following
Tyler Boone @tylerbooner
4K Followers 5K Following Make music, bourbon & other stuff…featured in @rollingstone @billboard @amersongwriter @forbes @uproxx @spotify
Jane @mcginnisjane58
280 Followers 3K Following
Molamin @Molamin17227829
189 Followers 7K Following The Gambia 🇬🇲. west coast "The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love." - Psalm 147:11
Sarcastic Days @sarcastic_days
296 Followers 530 Following 🤡 Life's too short to be serious 🛍️ Shop our online store for funny and unique products 🎁 Use code HAPPY10 for 10% off at our store
Cantus @_Cantus
1K Followers 1K Following Does art & words. Prone to gravity. Please return to an upright position. ''anonymous texter'' - @matthewcrosby #actuallyautistic
vedhi_usa @sri_vedhika
27 Followers 110 Following i am vedhika sri , I am from india but now stay in , Long Beach, California
BrotherCanuck @OverStMungos
166 Followers 474 Following time past and time future. what might have been and what has been. point to one end, which is always present. - TS Elliot 4 Quartets
Tina Firthlock @yorkshirepud27
2K Followers 4K Following Mum | Couch Potato | Poet | Writer | Creator of humorous charity book - ‘Tales of a Pandemic from a Couch Potato and Friends’ - https://t.co/YgiKb2AhpU
brick blanc @brinbl1
170 Followers 726 Following In 1972 news of the watergate scandal broke. I was also born.
J.Q Butter @JQButter1
447 Followers 3K Following The Real J.Q Butter/MusicProducer/SoundDesigner/ Got on a lucky one, came in 18/1 “…A sense of humour is just common sense, dancing…” (Clive James)
Cyd Baines @funnyishcyd
792 Followers 3K Following Most jokes from my late husband’s scribbles. If tweets are funny, please consider supporting Swansea City AFC Foundation (link below). 🦢
Julie Holt @JulieHo00265364
9K Followers 5K Following I love life love my friends and family life is too short to be miserable so like happy smiley people around me repost my pictures without asking is a block! xxx
Discordandrhyme7 @Discordandrhym7
93 Followers 2K Following
🎗 Dave Short 🎗 @daveshort65
861 Followers 2K Following Just be yourself as everyone else is taken.... Big Arsenal supporter and season ticket holder in the North Bank #NorthLondonForever
Tomi @ikertasli
74 Followers 951 Following
Duncan Smith @Duncan_Smith
2K Followers 4K Following Films, TV, cats, current affairs and Top of the Pops type music #TOTP #OMITB Swiftie
spiralpaper @spiralpaper
2K Followers 5K Following Lover of words, sounds, lines and colours with an aim to create art by any means necessary. Half Man Half Biscuit focused.
Sam Adams @SamonChar
2K Followers 2K Following Fundraiser. Writer of puns. Fan of live stand-up. LUFC fanatic - MOT / ALAW.
Puns In Space @PunsInSpaceTV
165 Followers 159 Following Spoof clips from the archives and new original puns from everyone's favourite fictional 80's BBC puppet pun show it’s PUNS IN SPACE! @rwoolfordcomedy
EyreLeigh Doors Comed... @EyreLeigh
184 Followers 834 Following Comedy Podcast game where @yespaulineeyre and @speshmagiclady give guests the chance to look into other dimensions and choose a new life for themselves.
The Pun O'Clock News @PunOClockNews
113 Followers 98 Following Puns, puns and more puns... This account isn't used much.
burlington @burtybaps5
411 Followers 2K Following Cmon peeps! Get stuck reyt in to these lamb chops, always on aisle 45 or behind the bins🎵🎶🎵😜 or having a good feel of Doris the ratcatchers ferret 😂
رستم عزت @rostomezat2
59 Followers 635 Following ☜ رُقي الأخلآق ♡...! ☜ سِر جاذبية الإنسان.. ☜ التي غفل عنها نيوتن♡...!
natyrell @steve_james269
58 Followers 435 Following
Owen Bell @owenbellshouse
644 Followers 656 Following Producer of comedy. Sometimes intentionally. (Bob Servant, Miller’s Mountain, Lost Sitcoms, The Farm, The Tuckers)
Washington Magic @capitolmagician
2K Followers 4K Following David Morey, Eric Henning & some of the nation’s greatest magicians perform at the Arts Club. Includes dinner/drinks. Tickets: 1-888-882-8499
LunchyMcPunface @LunchyMcPunface
2K Followers 2K Following Join in the fun and tweet your ORIGINAL pun between 12:00 and 13:00 BST weekdays adding #LunchPun, AND #RateMyPun if you want to join in the day's competition
Alicia Black @AliciaB49309915
66 Followers 666 Following
Kensington T. Gore @Kensington_Gore
51K Followers 56K Following Kensington Gore Hammerd Horror creator, writer, artist, movie maker & owner of KGHH Publishing & publishing consultant🩸
Alf - currently writi... @whoelsebutalf
15K Followers 13K Following You'll be glad to know, I won't be posting any jokes in future about Protein Powder, Yoghurt or my Tax return. Not in any Whey, Shape or form.
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
25K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Daniel Edison @DanEdisonComedy
12K Followers 7K Following One-liner comedian / writer of nonsense. I post original jokes. Jack of all trades, master of pun.
The Bard of Cleasby (... @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC
Ian Power @IHPower
16K Followers 393 Following If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.
Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford
9K Followers 8K Following UK Pun Champion 2022 & current SCOTY runner-up. Top 10 Jokes EdinFringe 2019-22. On UK-wide tour in 2025. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened
The Dad Joke Man @DadJokeMan
138K Followers 4K Following Jokes, puns & funny stuff which makes me laugh & hopefully others too! Not always original, just trying to get through life with a smile!
joe heenan @joeheenan
59K Followers 2K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
Gary Miller @gazgagsman
3K Followers 3K Following Turned up on my first day at the supermarket with a piggy bank strapped to the side of my head. I'm now a cash ear.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
9K Followers 854 Following I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD...
Will @wtebn.bsky.soci... @WTEBN
638 Followers 665 Following Keen photographer of birds, wildlife and other pretty and/or interesting things. Check weblink for prints, digital photos and gifts for sale.
Tony Cowards @TonyCowards
18K Followers 7K Following Sony Award winning writer, stand up and Ipswich fan living in Northumberland. Expect a mixture of jokes and pictures of painted WW2 models.
Iain MacDonald @imacpun
4K Followers 4K Following Using Twitter for testing material for puns for my comedy shows. And trust me, you will be tested... https://t.co/jVMaxloF5j
Gary Delaney is writi... @GaryDelaney
108K Followers 2K Following One-liner comic. New tour Gary in Punderland on sale. Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. Jokes tweeted aren’t in the live shows. First 2 tours now on YouTube.
Darren Walsh Puns @DarrenWalshPuns
9K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Punproviser. Leicester Square Theatre sell out. 2026 tour on sale now👇
Peter Cole @petercolepoet
898 Followers 762 Following Smart, funny and handsome - are just some of the words which appear in my bio. All jokes & poems are original (as far as I know, or unless otherwise stated)
Tim Vine @RealTimVine
304K Followers 122 Following Comedian. Plastic Elvis. https://t.co/V1C4agGVpJ https://t.co/qwcXHSNiwa
Geraint @geraintgriffith
9K Followers 1K Following We were just on the edge of Barstow when we decided that glamourising drug use was reckless and irresponsible
UncleTog1️⃣9️�... @tog1989
2K Followers 2K Following Someone has destroyed the dumplings at the local Chinese takeaway, I think that’s Wonton Vandalism. The Man With The Golden Puns. #CFC #Traveller #BrentfordFC
Electronic Cafe @andymcnab62
217 Followers 91 Following Electronic Cafe A channel dedicated to all things post punk electronic and all round fine music- created and hosted by Andy McNab and Mark Wibrow
Ultravox @UltravoxUK
24K Followers 49 Following Official Ultravox page, brought to you by Cerise Reed, https://t.co/PAboVlEXqF. Note: As a Townsend & Amazon Associate, I earn commission from qualifying purchases.
Townsend @TownsendMusicUK
9K Followers 2K Following ⭐️ Official Artist Stores 🛒 Online Record Shop 💿 Signed, Limited & Exclusive Editions 🎸 35yrs Experience 🌎 Worldwide Shipping 🏷 Tag Product Pics For RTs
@blitzedmagazine @blitzed80smag1
2K Followers 753 Following Blitzed Magazine published by Silverback Publishing Ltd. The latest issue is on Sale now! For submissions and features, [email protected]
Electronic Sound @ElectronicMagUK
20K Followers 4K Following The electronic music print magazine and online destination… Interviews / Reviews / Live Sessions / Vinyl / T-Shirts / And More…
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4K Followers 82 Following YouTube channel focussing on #TheBeatles #PaulMcCartney #JohnLennon #GeorgeHarrison plus lots more! https://t.co/kjZ3i6rOHQ
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158 Followers 8 Following Paul Hartnoll (Orbital) and performance artist Murray Lachlan Young will release their Virus Diaries album in 2021.
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716 Followers 150 Following Love people & all other animals. Be kind to everything. Glam Gran on The Ranganation
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55K Followers 44 Following 97 years young. Great Grandmother / Grandmother / Mother. I’ve still got it, but nobody wants to see it!
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28K Followers 26K Following Tweeting jokes, puns and one liners from https://t.co/0OwEY987xs on the hour, every hour. Expect to groan more than laugh....
Rob Thomas @roblavs
737 Followers 902 Following Comedian, UK Pun Champ winner. Got big ideas, dreams and head. Comedy bio here https://t.co/gUovcO5BVZ
#ukpunoff @ukpunoff
1K Followers 2K Following Live shows throughout the country. No longer online but back catalogue of 100+ shows on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
Ryan Cullen @RyanCullen90
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432 Followers 264 Following Prop Comedian, Pun Writer, Comedy Promoter (@smoofcomedy)
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97K Followers 3 Following #TimsTwitterListeningParty We listen to albums with the people who made them. Now also a radio show and a podcast too https://t.co/oUHcwyo5pX
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6K Followers 1K Following Artist, writer, doctor, teacher. Cabaret Voltaire, Wrangler, Creep Show, Cobby & Mallinder, Ku-Ling Bros, Off World...
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Mx Wil Hodgson 🏳�... @WilHodgson
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Pearl Jam @PearlJam
3.3M Followers 915 Following Pearl Jam's Official Twitter Account. Dark Matter, the 12th studio album from Pearl Jam. https://t.co/PRp1VpwDOx
Soundgarden @soundgarden
405K Followers 3 Following
Mark Simmons: UK Tour... @JokesWithMark
10K Followers 2K Following Watch my Full Comedy Special here: https://t.co/Dh6LrSAqmL
NHS Million @NHSMillion
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Anna Savory @AnnaSavory
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The Bolshoi Brothers @BolshoiBrothers
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Suzanne @SuzanneTheWench
220 Followers 165 Following Book blogger @ Under the Covers, I love all things romance and fantasy, PNR, Historicals, UF, you name it I probably like it!!
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1.3M Followers 700 Following daughter of Thanos, killer of men, fan of fish fingers and custard
Kali Varghese aka Cha... @CGdoescomedy
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Tanyalee Davis @TanyaleeDavis
5K Followers 463 Following International Stand up comedian/Motivational Speaker. 3+ mill followers on TikTok Done movies/TV #UnstoppableMe All links https://t.co/avo8RItPCy
Union JACK Radio 📻 @unionjackradio
4K Followers 1K Following Playing the best of British! 📲 Download the JACK Radio Player app and listen everywhere you go
Gerry Anderson @GerryAndersonTV
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Pauline Eyre (she/her... @yespaulineeyre
885 Followers 432 Following Stand-up comedian. All views correct. "Champion, I'm proud of you, pet" Sarah Millican (Couch to 5K) Host of BoHeeHee Comedy, co-host of EyreLeighDoors podcast
matthew hutchinson @Hutch_up
741 Followers 741 Following Junior doctor (Rheum/GIM) & comedian from London. writing rep: Rowan @TheSohoAgencyUk [email protected] Music: https://t.co/i9EHSe3nrW