[DoorFliesOpen] @doorfliesopen
We/us - https://t.co/MeCuJKPLxt is your home for randomly published articles by amateur joke writers! Stagger on in! doorfliesopen.com The Internet Joined June 2015-
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New Post: DRAFT NIGHT OPEN THREAD! (plus Reverend Mayhem’s 2024 Final Mock Draft) buff.ly/44iirpf
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New Post: The Taylor Swift Experience: The Tortured Alex Department buff.ly/4aPIDKA
New Post: Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: ‘Twas the Night Before Draftmas… buff.ly/3W7U5N8
New Post: AFL Beat 2024 – Round 6 buff.ly/4aOWyR9
New Post: Have You Heard the Good News of Murderbot?: Tuesday Open Thread buff.ly/3WdV1j0
New Post: Subsequent GTD reflections buff.ly/3Qhtn0F
New Post: Monday Open Thread – Warhammer 40k Psi Titans buff.ly/4b9j8DR
Updated Post: Monday Morning Mock Draft: I’ll Get Better At This I Swear buff.ly/4d7HcbS
New Post: Monday Morning Mock Draft: I’ll Get Better At This I Swear buff.ly/4d7HcbS
New Post: Sunday Gravy with yeah right: I Am The M***** F****** Muffin man! buff.ly/4dkJqF9
New Post: Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 8 buff.ly/3JrinKj
New Post: How Are We Doing? Saturday Morning Footy Open Thread buff.ly/3Qc3H5P
New Post: Sexy Friday – 20240419 buff.ly/3JryF61
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New Post: Sharkbait’s Cocktail of the Week: Friends in the Right Places buff.ly/3Js0sTM
New Post: Your Scattered Thursday Night Open Thread buff.ly/4awcw2l
New Post: A Fresh Load For The Brain Dump buff.ly/3Wmunon
New Post: Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: More Notes from the Bandstand buff.ly/4aZknVT
New Post: Balls Magazine Year 2, Volume 4 (25 overall) buff.ly/3Jq4lJ3
New Post: AFL Beat 2024 – Round 5 buff.ly/4aYdQe9
Horatio Cornblower @HoratioCornblo3
183 Followers 340 Following Still here retweeting dick jokes, but now expanded to include pictures of cats.
deborest fuckner @TSN_Jorts
726 Followers 3K Following writer & editor @doorfliesopen. father of @tsnjorts_ebooks. sports, music, news and plenty of shitposting. worst-case ontario, we'll get 2 birds stoned at once.
trevor risk @SunshineSucks
5K Followers 2K Following Writer: @LetterkennyProb & @ShoresyHockey Come on Blarbie, let's go plarty.
name but also a littl.. @bearsaremean
25K Followers 1K Following one time at a park I found a grappling hook I was like what the fuck. created wwtdd, wrote every word. @bearsaremean on bsky
sam!🔜LTC 2024 @SamGreszes
2K Followers 5K Following party game designer/shitpost historian/writer/gaming himbo/MBMBaM heely guy/your maybe future 78th favorite pro wrestler. He/Him
Feklahr Loves Basketb.. @MightyFeklhr
1K Followers 3K Following Hawkeye football, pro-wrestling, and rock and roll is all this Klingon needs (but not all He takes). He/Him
Litre_Cola @litre_cola_
556 Followers 577 Following Cavalry FC Sec 200, Foot Solider, CanMNT Voyageur. Fulham 'til I die. Shareholder of @TSSrovers I fucking love wine. (WSET 3)
Fran @effemwarner
316 Followers 2K Following American expat in Australia, narrative design lead @mightykingdom, currently telling Starfleet officers what to do in @lowerdecksgame
Brad Estes @bestes012
314 Followers 3K Following Judge: “Mr. Hutz, do you have any evidence at all?” Mr. Hutz: “Well, we have plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.”
PARBAT ZALA @PARBATZALA24739
0 Followers 131 Following
Seahorseshoe @Seahorseshoe1
30 Followers 37 Following Your Only Source of Aquatic Non-Erotic Fake News. https://t.co/YFQA0WHShW
Frank Reynolds @HankKingsleyJr
90 Followers 397 Following Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Not afraid of cities.
David T @daveload66
252 Followers 2K Following Probably doing things to the big wet hole in the face.
Delbert Grady Seasons @DelbertGSeasons
457 Followers 382 Following isn’t angry, just disappointed. Faked own death to escape agents of Columbia Record & Tape Club
Stupidlurkinmufk @Hank_KingsleyJr
71 Followers 382 Following
Frankensteins Fat Foo.. @DustinMcIntyr13
58 Followers 405 Following I hate the following 1) Doug 2) COVID 3) Lists
Mike Nickas @SupermanNickas
283 Followers 969 Following I dig hard rock, comedy, political smack-talking, Yankees baseball, Bears football, F1, and I also play a little golf.
The Green Music Room @balddivaonhighc
62 Followers 2K Following Teaching voice,piano,violin & viola lessons for all ages & levels in Berlin-Charlottenburg. Also specialize in vocal & instrumental accompanying.
Robin Adams @ad99612463
28 Followers 153 Following Words of truth is an ACTIONS to personal ACTs that reflect our core values to REACT.
Sarah Hogarth @SarahHogarth4
893 Followers 3K Following Whidbey Islander, Mom of Bailey and Trent, Massage Therapist, Resister
The best place to fin.. @swampudlian
1K Followers 5K Following This account is a parody. 19th-Century ball player/umpire. Tigers & Nationals fan. Leyland nearly broke my Tiger fandom. He/him. Rutgers Law 2023.
mr. hijinks @projet_pat
117 Followers 988 Following
Larry Johnson 🇺�.. @LarryJohnsonBFA
88 Followers 704 Following Vice-president, BFA Finance Group. Love to chat about business finance especially outside-the-banking-box solutions. Love the outdoors.
Matt Hedman @matthedman
180 Followers 2K Following
👀 @NYVV4LIFE
290 Followers 792 Following
nomorehairpulling.com @nohairpulling
1K Followers 4K Following Welcome to GROW ~ the membership community with online coaching & support for people with trichotillomania. You're not alone! Join us at https://t.co/ZCaZ6gkMhp
HumanBeing @Human_Being_78
7 Followers 73 Following Spreading kindness, compassion, laughter and deep breathing since 2005. She/her
JONATHAN MASOUDI @JonathanMasoudi
101 Followers 697 Following Urologist problem-solver. Survivor of conservatism.
trying to be funny on.. @elijahcraan
3K Followers 1K Following I do stand up comedy. 🤍@chopsueyside 🤍
Jennie @mamapajamuh
2 Followers 50 Following
Jahnee Chimpoh @JAFGeezer
149 Followers 1K Following
Matt Spat: @flubious
24 Followers 81 Following Comic books, video games, poop jokes, and forgetting my Twitter password for multiple years.
NJK @njk613
124 Followers 873 Following
Christopher Laughlin @claughlin47
2 Followers 32 Following
kt k @mama___karma
2K Followers 4K Following т︎н︎ιѕ ιѕ ω︎н︎є︎я︎є︎ ι н︎υм︎в︎ℓє︎в︎я︎α︎g α︎в︎συт︎ м︎yѕє︎ℓƒ т︎σ ιηƒσя︎м︎ yσυ т︎н︎α︎т︎ I α︎м︎ α︎η ιηт︎є︎ℓℓє︎¢т︎υα︎ℓ & є︎χ︎т︎я︎є︎м︎є︎ℓy ιм︎ρσя︎т︎α︎ηт︎.
HeresTheThing @HeresThing
83 Followers 698 Following Here’s the thing: this is just a burner account. Actually it’s not a burner account but it could be? I’m probably trolling you. Not liberal or conservative.
Joseph Burton @bellyflope
41 Followers 180 Following
Rebekah McClimens @RebekahMcClime1
0 Followers 49 Following
William McNulty @WilliamMcNulty
4K Followers 1K Following head of mission @opwhitestork; dad of Okie the Dog; cofounder @teamrubicon; Jesuit educated Marine; Donate to https://t.co/gLEmqYubCh
Jennifer L Bush @JenniferLBush2
20 Followers 538 Following
oho! it's austin @TweeterOffline
417 Followers 432 Following 🐘 [email protected] 🦋 @thegoddamn.icu on bsky Chilean Canadian on Treaty 6 Land. Made, abandoned BluesBlocker. The only good dog profile pic wielder.
James Carter @ChicoSuave04
518 Followers 1K Following You suffer through training now so later on you live like a champion-Muhammad Ali
Megan Basten @100megs
132 Followers 3K Following
🦍BUM CHILLUPS AKA .. @edsbs
199K Followers 2K Following Kickin' it in Hattiesburg Two things a week at: @channel6_feed everything else: https://t.co/FO7JZ8lKGi
matt ufford @mattufford
29K Followers 141 Following Veteran of the Iraq War and several defunct blogs. Semper Fi.
Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood
55K Followers 458 Following leaving it all out on the field for Season 14 of Clue Heywood, just in case it's not renewed. [email protected]
Brian Grubb @briancgrubb
24K Followers 961 Following popping in once in a while but just about done here
spilly @IAmSpilly
9K Followers 488 Following K ▧ E ▧ T ▧ C ▧ H ▧ U ▧ P ▧ I ▧ N ▧ B ▧ I ▧ O - pitt / bonco enjoyer - @spilly.bsky.social on BlueSky
Vince Mancini @VinceMancini
36K Followers 2K Following Writer/podcaster. Movies, food, Sopranos. Formerly Uproxx, currently GQ. Founder of Filmdrunk, the Frotcast, and @podyourselfagun. [email protected]
Drew Magary @drewmagary
173K Followers 559 Following Columnist: @DefectorMedia, @SFGate. He/Him. The Night The Lights Went Out is out RIGHT NOW. Everywhere. https://t.co/alxOZ3ud7i…
Horatio Cornblower @HoratioCornblo3
183 Followers 340 Following Still here retweeting dick jokes, but now expanded to include pictures of cats.
Dave Rappoccio @DrawPlayDave
27K Followers 411 Following Creator of TheDrawPlay comic. Sports Cartoonist. Extremely pessimistic Giants fan. He/Him other site(bsky)[email protected]
deborest fuckner @TSN_Jorts
726 Followers 3K Following writer & editor @doorfliesopen. father of @tsnjorts_ebooks. sports, music, news and plenty of shitposting. worst-case ontario, we'll get 2 birds stoned at once.
David Roth @david_j_roth
137K Followers 5K Following https://t.co/z4uMny3wRQ. Also https://t.co/R9hld5jysP. Header art by Vicki Nerino.
trevor risk @SunshineSucks
5K Followers 2K Following Writer: @LetterkennyProb & @ShoresyHockey Come on Blarbie, let's go plarty.
name but also a littl.. @bearsaremean
25K Followers 1K Following one time at a park I found a grappling hook I was like what the fuck. created wwtdd, wrote every word. @bearsaremean on bsky
sam!🔜LTC 2024 @SamGreszes
2K Followers 5K Following party game designer/shitpost historian/writer/gaming himbo/MBMBaM heely guy/your maybe future 78th favorite pro wrestler. He/Him
(kinda) retired @fleshwound_NPG
309 Followers 131 Following instagram: fleshwound_npg the blued sky thing: fleshwoundnpg facebook: lol nope
sarah sprague @sarah_sprague
4K Followers 774 Following Editing sites you probably read. (Tweets are mine.) Only care about typos when paid to. No longer here.
Marc Cohodes @AlderLaneEggs
174K Followers 680 Following No Greater Motivator Than Disrespect.“Its not what they call you,but what you answer to".All Bat or 🪓Tweets NOT TO BE TAKEN AS THREATS."I Save All Receipts"
Will Harris in VA @NonStopPop
6K Followers 7K Following Senior Editor/Writer, Q Magazine Formerly with the AV Club (200+ Random Roles). Happily married w/ child. Opinions are my own and do not represent my employer.
Redshirt @AwesomeRedshirt
316 Followers 2K Following plays video games, goes to LAN but mostly uses twitter for dogs and weather
Delbert Grady Seasons @DelbertGSeasons
457 Followers 382 Following isn’t angry, just disappointed. Faked own death to escape agents of Columbia Record & Tape Club
Borisnow @Borisnow00
74 Followers 48 Following
ZOO CROO @ZOO_CROO
1K Followers 175 Following LA's hardest rocking morning CROO, every Tuesday from 6 to 9 @KXLU889! Your good buddy THE RATTLER is back and ready to spin the crazy tunes you crave!
Benny "Snake Eyes" Wi.. @kungjitsu
87 Followers 187 Following
Mr. Ayo @MrAyo16
45 Followers 115 Following
oho! it's austin @TweeterOffline
417 Followers 432 Following 🐘 [email protected] 🦋 @thegoddamn.icu on bsky Chilean Canadian on Treaty 6 Land. Made, abandoned BluesBlocker. The only good dog profile pic wielder.
Justin Halpern @justin_halpern
41K Followers 436 Following Harley Quinn/Abbott Elementary/Some Other Stuff You Probably Hated or Never Saw. We could do that note but that’s not the show we sold you
Trent Telenko @TrentTelenko
174K Followers 631 Following Married father of four great kids, Retired US DoD Civil Servant, Section 22 Special Interest Group list admin, Chicagoboyz-dot-net history blogger
Borjan Pants @BorjanPants
1K Followers 5 Following It's cold but I am warm between the sticks. it's called fashion, look it up. there will be spelling errors as I am a pair of pants. welcome to the revolution
Justin Barnes @senrabnitsuj
63 Followers 110 Following Husband, dog dad, world traveler, tropical gardener
NASA Webb Telescope @NASAWebb
3.3M Followers 65 Following The world's most powerful space telescope. Launched: Dec. 25, 2021. First images revealed: July 12, 2022. Verification: https://t.co/ChOEslj1j5
Charles Gaba ✡️ @charles_gaba
52K Followers 4K Following Healthcare data analysis, advocacy & snark 🐘 https://t.co/ol5x7WaYzF 🐳 https://t.co/WKpeWRMksN 🧵 https://t.co/hQQ3vS7OlT
CoastersPaul 🐀 @CoastersPaul
306 Followers 64 Following Deadspin was a good site. Here just to follow its writers and some video game people, and post the occasional Animal Crossing screenshot. He/him.
Chris Krebs @C_C_Krebs
266K Followers 3K Following @SentinelOne. @AspenDigital. @UVA @Center4Politics Scholar. 1st Director @CISAgov. Fired by tweet. Sanctioned by RU.
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.8M Followers 822 Following I can identify every single key on a piano.
#1 Rebelsys Fan @DamnManly
144 Followers 350 Following he him | @twitter content team | pipe enthusiast
Ryan Phillips @RumorsandRants
10K Followers 1K Following May or may not be notable. Senior Writer at @thebiglead. Co-host of @AssemblyCall. Indiana journalism school grad.
the real RMJ=H @rmj_equals_hero
2K Followers 988 Following fanny is a funny word. fanny. pronouns: he/him. you can find me at https://t.co/n6kmrGNeKj
Mark Hamill @MarkHamill
5.1M Followers 2K Following Believe in yourself! Work hard, never give up & anything's possible! OR: Kick back, relax & aim low: You'll never be disappointed...😜 I IGNORE ALL DMs!
Ted Nguyen @FB_FilmAnalysis
91K Followers 958 Following Purveyor of truth of the all-22 |King of Typos |NFL Staff Writer: @TheAthleticNFL | State of the Nation Podcast
John DiMaggio @TheJohnDiMaggio
174K Followers 2K Following King Zøg, Bender, Jake, Marcus, & other fun stuff. #IKTV (@iamkatemiller is ma wife.❤️)
Kristen Schaal @kristenschaaled
898K Followers 1K Following Comedian,actress, she/her. https://t.co/F8dZfOVJrt thanks, Carlie Hoke for writing it.
Nick Roy @NickRoy13
243 Followers 627 Following Teacher, musician, arts educator. Views here are solely my own.
Godzilla Shammgodzill.. @FanSince09
16K Followers 5K Following Philly sports has made me become the joker if he became an even worse joker.
Diana Moskovitz @DianaMoskovitz
21K Followers 1K Following investigations editor/co-owner/resident cat lady & BTS fan @defectormedia [email protected] or [email protected], DMs open, ask for Signal.
Chris Labarthe @chris_labarthe
3K Followers 5K Following Thing namer. Word writer. Creative director. Dad. Husband. Goofball. All opinions are mine—but, really, c'mon, they should be yours as well.
Taoist Cutler @TaoTeCutler
20 Followers 64 Following
Bring Back Matt! @bringbackmatt1
9 Followers 25 Following We all miss Captain Caveman, and only hope our ramblings can one day be half as good as his.
SSB @StuScottBooyahs
221 Followers 635 Following Instead of soaking, try basking in the light of the Lord.
TheTexasTiger @PurpleAndGold
1K Followers 2K Following College Baseball. Sports Stats. BOURBON. ETH. Very Below average sports bettor. Memes! Negative Nancy.
Jaguar King Mike @KingM91
2K Followers 1K Following Jaguars, Gators, and Braves fan. Bold City Brigade member. I take pictures for a living. I also make ill-advised bets.
Sally Gombita @GombitaSally
22 Followers 123 Following
Rabbit of Caerbannog @RCaerbannog
191 Followers 509 Following I have a mean streak a mile wide. @[email protected]
It's Disc Golf Season @JC_in_Rothesay
3K Followers 3K Following Flames, Jays, Pats, Raptors fan. Saddledome apologist. The Dwight Schrute of Cliff Clavins. 4X Suspension appealistcannot think of a better irl example of “yakubian ape” than john fetterman
Anyone at @doorfliesopen knows this is what happens when Hippo runs out of his pills.
BREAKING: Trump GUILTY of sexually assaulting E. Jean Carroll! Jury awards her $5 Million dollars! Drop a ❤️ and retweet if you support this and E. Jean Carroll!
unquestionably yes and 99% of the @doorfliesopen crew will back me up on this matter
@doorfliesopen @bearsaremean "why did the rubble burn down?"
@doorfliesopen @SunshineSucks I mean, there's already a lot of Canucks and whatnot, but I guess NAFTA means we gotta pretend one more won't kill us.
@ask_aubry “Feminazi” reminds me that I’m glad Rush Limbaugh is still dead.
love you guys. be good.
Hearing from multiple employees that the odds of Twitter breaking in the near future are very high.
"Babe, you ok, you've barely touched your cod semen."
Pete Wells, our restaurant critic, has given a rare and extraordinary ⭐⭐⭐⭐ this week to Yoshino, a 10-seat sushi counter in New York City. Only three other restaurants in the city hold this top rating. nyti.ms/3EbrDiJ
You’re welcome, @KariLake.
@doorfliesopen @Ryzenup So many emojis, knocked the wind out of me for a sec but I'm ok now
perfect concession: self-aware & concise
@TheRevanch1st @HoratioCornblo3 @doorfliesopen well he’s a raiders fan so suffice it to say he’s never truly been “ok” in his lifetime
@TSN_Jorts @TheRevanch1st @HoratioCornblo3 @doorfliesopen They both now sound like full “Meat is Murder” fans.
@Garrett_Archer how about you leave the jokes to me, pal
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