Exkylebur @exkylebur

Statistician by day, joke writer by day as well because I'm usually bored at work. Joined December 2020

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 weeks ago

To honor Charlie Kirk's memory, I'm going to hang my gums at half mast

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

3 weeks ago

Based on what I know of the DOD, this probably was billed for 1.8 billion dollars

Acyn @Acyn

3 weeks ago

Based on what I know of the DOD, this probably was billed for 1.8 billion dollars

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The worst thing about being conflict avoidant is by the time you do address the problem you've spent hours making a 15 slide mental PowerPoint that's just "I wish you would wash the dishes more often"

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

I don't get this "aura farming" discourse. It just seems like one person stands around being useless while other people do the work? In college, we called them "group projects"

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

Not trying to sound shallow but it just SO much easier to hate your enemies when they are ugly on the outside too

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

"This automation is gonna make us so productive!" -automation to create a project task -automation to send that task as an email -automation of my email inbox to send these messages to the spam folder, never to be checked

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

PSA for dog owners: If you're hungry, they're hungry (because they're always hungry)

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

A milf so wet she's a tsumommy

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

I didn't want to go to a carnival tonight but didn't want to disappoint my gf by staying in. But now I'm watching storm clouds roll in right now like Scottie Pippin with the assist.

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

Today I told my dentist I brushed once a day and flossed every other day. She responded with "that's ok, as long as you're trying your best." While not medically accurate, she got a customer for life there

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

Working with IT blows. They'll same day schedule an hour call with 13 engineers, but if you need 1 engineer to do 13 hours of work you have to ask 2 months in advance

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

In a shared office space yesterday I saw a guy presenting a venn diagram. One circle said "relationship" the other said "ball buster" and the intersection had a circle with an X in it

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

I can't say I know what going Super-Saiyan feels like exactly but I would imagine it's not too different from the feeling of releasing the last 4 drops of pee.

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

I feel bad for all the non-creep millionaires who have to feel weird about inviting friends to their island

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

2 months ago

LinkedIn is mostly just Facebook for former coworkers

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

3 months ago

A TSA agent asked the random woman in front of me if we were traveling together This woman looked at me top to bottom, WINCED, and says NO.

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Exkylebur @exkylebur

3 months ago

Looking back on it, it's weird we learned the word "discotheque" in intro French. We pretty much learned: - where's the library - where's the bathroom - where's the partaaaaayy