Jessie M @monkeyfish5000
I'm awesome. You're awesome. Let's be friends, or not whatever. https://t.co/FLDT4SdNiG georgia Joined December 2011-
Tweets4K
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Followers361
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Following692
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Likes83
Listening to my girlfriend and her momma talking about refrigerator selections.
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I haven’t gotten on twitter in years. I’m not even sure how it works anymore. I don’t even know how to function anymore.
Jessie M retweeted
Of course I already have coffee stains on my shirt I leak coffee from my boobs
Jessie M retweeted
If you’re so drunk your flip flops are on wrong, then maybe let someone else light the fireworks
Jessie M retweeted
It's messed up that you need energy to do things
Jessie M retweeted
Coworker: heeey how was your 4th? Me: get the fuck away from me
I’m sorry for all of the retweets you are about to receive.
Jessie M retweeted
There’s nowhere in this god-forsaken town that will deliver me a lasagna at 6:30 in the morning. Life is a prison
Jessie M retweeted
I only lost 7 lbs. Fuck this. I'm about to eat a ribeye as big as my head.
Jessie M retweeted
Mondays after a long weekend are the hardest 😩
Jessie M retweeted
New season of Fortnite means mom can take a nap.
Jessie M retweeted
I'm 46 and still say “Yes Ma'am/Sir and No Ma'am/Sir" to the elderly .... It's called respect.
How do people stay so positive with so much negative shit going on in the world?
At this point in my life I practically survive on rum and chicken wings.
Jessie M retweeted
One of the best things about being alive is watching a new generation not give a fuck about an old generation’s bullshit.
Jessie M retweeted
Sombrero is better than nobrero.
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I am the real Coco.💋](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/603212799855206401/D0-B8xgY.jpg)
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