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Tweets1K
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Followers190
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Following148
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Likes652
"I feel like a brain" -understatement of the century
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"So you see if I leap with a velocity of 3 m/s and swat my hand 45 degrees to the south, ILL STUFF YO ASS IN THE PAINT" -LeBrain James
EMPLOYER TIP: Never hire an employee without looking at what subreddits they're subscribed to
"Ain't nothin but a gangsta potty" -Tupac, while learning to use the big boy toilet
"You wanna blow me baby? -Oh yeeeah wait... You mean penis not ear drums right?"
"Bitches be trippin" *points to dog eating magic mushrooms*
#InMyHighSchool Birthday bumps meant ...of heroin
*holds up dead twig* "My schtick... ... Is my stick"
Does the immaturity of the new generation mean we have to start calling it a pearooster?
"Waiter! You spelled chocolate mousse wrong on the menu! -no no, there's no mistake" *Table is suddenly flipped over by chocolate antlers*
Bitches don't know how good I am at pulling the car door handle right at the exact moment it gets unlocked so it's not unlocked
Development of the facial plate #fetusbeliebermemories
"HONEY, IM HOME!" -bees when they get back the hive, Probably
Oh wow my vagina is really sore #ThingsGuysDontSay
What do you mean I can't adjust the temperature of my pants using the pocket dial?!
*opens 3D printer revealing a copy of my own nude ass* "Ahhh yessssss, perfect"
I lift up nickelback and do a Bane&Batman-style snapping of their spine over my knee #BreakingBadBands
Shivam Jazz @shivam_cj
43 Followers 440 Following
Ryan @merican_ninjy
4K Followers 5K Following I mostly make memes. Tweet a cheesy pickup line & I'll RT it every time. IG: @nonsequitur1275
GT @InkedCountryBoy
252 Followers 492 Following Everyone has a story,listen b4 u speak. I'm just a real life cowboy with tats and opinions.Not interested in Twitter romances tx
SugarBritches @TwistedInTexas
500 Followers 419 Following You're forever with me sweet sister. Heaven just got brighter. RIP Ashley 10/21-/86 - 8/3/14. My life will never be the same without you.
Shaun Right Now @ShaunRightNow
9K Followers 10K Following I'm 37, I love my asshole wife and she loves me. I would love to RT a lot more, sorry, I have no time. I just tweet so you laugh.
jay goth ii @LOTTOWIZARD7
1K Followers 3K Following 😂🎈LOTTO WIZARD NOWhas*CASHAPP$1MagicWizardShareTheLuv💲Also nTikTok@LOTTO WIZARDnUTube; (*200*)VIDEOSnF.B.@LOTTO WIZARD'S WARRIOR'S $ECRET CLUB😮🎈 👀🔎 😎
Up2Long @Up2Long
4K Followers 4K Following Mild manner Cookie Whisperer by day and Belligerent Cookie Smashing Connoisseur at night.
Miss Quoted @3noodles
426 Followers 1K Following I'm a crazy mother of two beautiful girls & wife to some kind of wonderful living in HaPpY caucaphony!
Saucy Jossy @jociejones
2K Followers 2K Following I love Jeopardy and hate bananas. I believe raisins ruin everything good in this world and I have an irrational fear of steel wool. That's me in a nutshell.
Duke of Dank @JKeef365
4K Followers 4K Following Drums for STEGO NEW ALBUM THE ABYSS IS HERE #Vic_Firth #Evans #MeinlCymbals #Prog #Rock . 🥁 🔥 🥁🔥
Millie Mars @MillieMars
1K Followers 694 Following
Deez Nutz @DrumDemon0922
594 Followers 1K Following I live in her TL bush and steal cable tv from @Mashby811 to entertain myself when she closes the curtains.
Teebs McGee @DimitriaTeebo
106 Followers 136 Following
RAM dom talk @SeikenUchi
2K Followers 3K Following This is a picture of part of my face. These glasses don't have lenses. It's a disguise. Shhhh! ... I retweet a lot. Touch my Favstar.
Serial Fuckup ☠️�... @SerialFuckup
16K Followers 14K Following I'm a goddamn ray of motherfucking sunshine. ☠️❤️☠️❤️☠️ IG:Cloudpimp #KCCO 🍀#TheWalkingDead #Envydastrength https://t.co/xpyu7rBasK%
GoneFishingYo @GoneFishingYo
2K Followers 4K Following
DanglesTV @DanglesTV2
2K Followers 581 Following Computer Geek 💻 Gamer 🕹 Twitch Streamer 🔴 Business Inquires: [email protected]
Lars Durden @LarsDurden
88 Followers 473 Following and when my love for life is running dry you'd come and pour yourself on me
Leslie Knopenhauer @Knopenhauer
473 Followers 1K Following Arthur Schopenhauer was a 19th c. German philosopher. Leslie Knope is a city councilwoman in Pawnee, Indiana, and star of the reality show Parks and Recreation.
ok @spedpickle
110 Followers 273 Following
. @SpiderPiss
1K Followers 417 Following
Michael Jones @johnlipstick
3K Followers 4K Following I live and breath to illuminate. Follow me to connect and for updates on my journey. And for sustainability tips visit my website below.
sheet talker @immichaeldavid
43 Followers 175 Following
Angry People Hotline @F_OFF_HOTLINE
315 Followers 1K Following 24 Hours - 7 Days 1-900-528-F-OFF (3633) 18+ Only! $1.99/Min billed to your landline phone bill. 10% of all proceeds donated to Sick Kids Foundation
Tancredi ︻╦╤─ @TankVen4
223 Followers 1K Following
BigShow Booking @bigshowbooking
3K Followers 4K Following We Book Actors, Musicians, Models & Athletes! For Serious Inquiries Email [email protected] • Sponsored By @AmadaRecords • @FLEXReport • @Ticket_Rush1
Jamie👑 @jamieguske
171 Followers 231 Following
brian o’neill @biranonell
361 Followers 672 Following a pile of haunted tarps. (he/him) bluesky: https://t.co/Azso8rKPTW
sadvil 😎 (sadvil.b... @sadvil
23K Followers 718 Following making jokes, shuffling deckchairs. find me at https://t.co/MobqCcHoDi
Jay @DirtMcTurd
19K Followers 3K Following
Ryan @merican_ninjy
4K Followers 5K Following I mostly make memes. Tweet a cheesy pickup line & I'll RT it every time. IG: @nonsequitur1275
Moron with a beard @Fuckinmorons
4K Followers 3K Following Most memes these days, idiocy has been pit on hold
steve roggenbuck @steveroggenbuck
11K Followers 2K Following
Steve Olivas @steveolivas
18K Followers 720 Following Shrink. Rancher. Author. I write the stories told by rock stars.
SugarBritches @TwistedInTexas
500 Followers 419 Following You're forever with me sweet sister. Heaven just got brighter. RIP Ashley 10/21-/86 - 8/3/14. My life will never be the same without you.
Shaun Right Now @ShaunRightNow
9K Followers 10K Following I'm 37, I love my asshole wife and she loves me. I would love to RT a lot more, sorry, I have no time. I just tweet so you laugh.
𝙹𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏... @zomboy666
8K Followers 3K Following Heartbroken boy with the most sick on his t-shirt. Short King 👑
The Clarty Plodger. �... @Prince_Madness1
164K Followers 147K Following The Maker of Madness. The Word Acrobat. The People’s Poet. The Dark Poet. The Painter of Pictures. © https://t.co/38l7gsyjIZ
Lazy Joe @lazy_joe_
4K Followers 22 Following
DemonDastardly @mydmac
63K Followers 1K Following My tweets are my own, unless it’s a common ass phrase or cliche, ya moron -Memento Mori https://t.co/1xSHeAgHMT
Josh Bramlett @SonofConway
6K Followers 2K Following Assistant professor @BamaAPR. Tweets often relate to football, elections, or reality TV. UCA🐻, ASU🐺, MU🐯 alum.
Dr. Hooey @HooeyDr
5K Followers 5K Following You might recognize me from last weeks episode of COPS.
twitr darling @the_real_keg
2K Followers 1K Following Reviews say, 'Secretly a dumb nerd.' https://t.co/s6mk8Qq09N
udrility limb @udrility_ebooks
141 Followers 2 Following
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon
220K Followers 380 Following director, comedian, musician, writer (the good place, new warriors, late late show, amber ruffin show, strange planet, neon, ghostbusters, + more)
GLP-Diddy @mattytalks
32K Followers 905 Following I look at you and feel the same, could you forgive me for that pain
The Business Boy @PajamaBen_
5K Followers 268 Following just when you thought it couldn't get any worse you read my tweets
Up2Long @Up2Long
4K Followers 4K Following Mild manner Cookie Whisperer by day and Belligerent Cookie Smashing Connoisseur at night.
PERSONAL TRAINER @BalaMuna
2K Followers 1K Following BALA MUNA YOGA CONDITIONS THE MIND BODY AND SOUL TO AWAKEN.
Miss Quoted @3noodles
426 Followers 1K Following I'm a crazy mother of two beautiful girls & wife to some kind of wonderful living in HaPpY caucaphony!
several onions @Amusitr0n
11K Followers 700 Following On more than one occasion I farted, woke myself up, thought it was my phone vibrating and tried to answer my fart.
Mmmkay? @missekay
28K Followers 14K Following Silently plotting to steal your favorite hoodie. My super power is hiding in plain sight.You might like
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