samm severin @waitressboner
poets are always lying about being comedians but I’m not allmylinks.com/sammseverin Atlanta, Ga Joined June 2010-
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all my friends are obsessed with phish
when Miranda goes from pixie cut to the Bob it’s like ok yes finally (watching sec and the cify on tv my mind is melting)
new SMALL single out today! Shoutout Olive L. for the bass line and for all the hours and miles it took. Shoutout Trevor F. for drumming/recording/mixing/trusting me with your hands in my mouth. And big SHOUTOUT the fake yearners and wannabe lovers for inspiring the lyrics!!!!
it shouldn’t surprise me anymore, but it’s so wild to me that you don’t ever see a cop have a moral crisis on the riot line. there’s not a moment where they realize, i do not have to be here beating these people. they can set their baton down and walk away. but they never do.
muchacho being against beltline rail
[as I drop a 2000 pound bomb on a hospital] protesters of this have gone too far
can’t wait to be the only bitch who gets fat and sleepy on addxrall
can’t wait to be the only bitch who gets fat and sleepy on addxrall
adhd meds giving me the strain of depression that makes u eat at chick fil a two times in a day
in case anyone forgot, the following beltline businesses are against beltline rail - Ladybird Grove and Mess Hall/Ranger Station - Muchacho - Electric Events catering - Rathbun Steak - KR Steakbar - Two Urban Licks - Bully Boy - Tap - Lingering Shade Social Club - The Ice Box
If being unhoused is illegal, then it's a crime not to work. If it's a crime not to work, you have to take the job and pay you're offered. If the government can force you to work or throw you in prison (where they force you to work), what is the word for that
How the fuck do I owe $1000 to my therapist AND the IRS?
instead of expanding public transit and beltline rail, mayor andre dickens is leasing public roadways out to Waymo, the surveillance company that advertises itself as a "self-driving car" company. cop city really is everywhere, huh
A lot of young people living in tents are foster kids that age out of the system without being adopted. The same kids that turn into the adults our government is now begging the Supreme Court to let us criminalize for not having a place to live. An entire life of gov. trauma.
Notice how the US govt is slowly but surely criminalizing every aspect of living as a free individual
Homer Simpson. SpongeBob. Goku. All failed their driver’s test, and yet all are considered heroes. Something to remember next time you get angry at someone’s driving.
If I had a huge cock I’d be walking around all day every day like hell yeah I have a huge cock
no offense but a lot of you sound like if they gave Gollum an adderall prescription
shaunak godkhindi @ShaunakIsCool
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Laura Peek @laurapeek_
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994 Followers 1K Following contains no artificial preservatives or flavors except those naturally occurring in Mountain Dew. trying out he/they, don't make a big deal out of it
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PINKMAN!👺 @pinkman0r4sixxx
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ryan @ryaansmythe
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1K Followers 926 Following Standup comedian | I’ll Take It a comedy WebSeries linked below!
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4K Followers 2K Following Groucho Marx then Richard Marx then Karl Marx. Photos. Standup. Listen to my jokes: https://t.co/sveF3au4nf
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro
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4K Followers 2K Following ATLien. jokist 🎤CONAN, Late Late Show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Not to name drop, but I have Crohn’s. Album/Special, Basket Case, out now. link below
Laura Peek @laurapeek_
10K Followers 941 Following standup, sweetheart, likes the outdoors💧🌿🍉🦀 • from Nashville, in LA • IG - @ laurapeekcomedy • mgmt - [email protected] & [email protected]
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64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
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1K Followers 3K Following
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Dumpster Jesus @DumpsterJesus
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CC @BBYCELS444
7K Followers 625 Following Girl-shaped menace. Also niche perfume, pickles nd fashion enthusiast
James Pogue @jhensonpogue
11K Followers 2K Following Contributing editor at Harper’s, political features at Vanity Fair. Writing a book about rural California and a series on the Françafrique for Granta
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22K Followers 1K Following 18+ NYC | (she/her) photographer, designer, switchy lover of rope bondage, kinky smut creator
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Maria Bruggere @MariaBruggere
5K Followers 902 Following LA Comedian | @NetflixIsAJoke Radio x @SiriusXM | @roomforrentpod | #TapeMeasureGirl on TikTok (35m+ views) Peep the link for upcoming shows!
MPOWERR HEALTH AND WE.. @MPOWERRATL
4K Followers 3K Following A NON PROFIT 501(c)(3) HEALTHCARE ORG. ‼️PASS CERTIFIED‼️409 ARROWHEAD BLVD JONESBORO GA. STE C6
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Fucked Up @FUCKEDUP
16K Followers 405 Following Nice and Keep The Goodness TIX https://t.co/L7Nux7cIio MERCH https://t.co/wXg5OkkLDU FAKE EMAIL [email protected] tweets by mike
Rob Bailey, Astrologe.. @oldschoolastro
20K Followers 2K Following I'm an astrologer living on Ngunnawal land, Canberra Australia. Currently focused on the study and revival of early medieval horary astrology. He/Him.
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31K Followers 2K Following im an acquired taste.. if you don’t like me, acquire some taste!
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9K Followers 1K Following A sex-positive platform where creators & fans earn more with lower censorship. 0% fees for creators💚 Get early access: https://t.co/jaRkaDoQIQ ✨
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1K Followers 363 Following get to the gig, follow us on instagram we’re a lot more active on there
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i can think of 1 instance where a rape joke is funny
Ahhhaa i did some punk music. more like pink music bc i’m wearing a dress
Oh you like going to dive bars? You prefer $3 PBR to $20 cocktails? The grimier the better? Should we have a beer and shot? Should we mourn Anthony Bourdain?
You ever had tat Cali weed in CALI on that CALICALI bro?!
Excited to announce I’ve been paid $5,000,000 for my new comedy special, “They Won’t Let You Do Comedy Anymore” for a big streamer. It’s shot at an opera house that sits 5,000 cheering fans. My opening bit will be about me being silenced. The rest will be how much I hate my wife
he’s been Lornemaxxing
i think mike myers looks badass now
Some people say you shouldn’t wear band shirts after age 30. This is strange because you should actually exclusively wear band shirts after 30.
"your cat will eat you when you die" yeah but he shows infinite grace by making no attempt in the meantime. leave him alone
Still needs some things but I don’t think I’m embarrassed of my room anymore. Humble but not embarrassing. I even have a rug but you can’t see it
hey dude i don’t think you hate your body i think you just don’t have pants you like right now
Just thought of a kind of insane outfit idea for guys that have a sort of alternative queer vibe
quick poll: have you ever heard the phrase "and bob is your uncle" before
Here’s the thing about shouting “learn to code,” capitalism wants to destroy everyone’s ability to survive unless you’re on the top. A lot of cynical people are about to learn solidarity.
the CS students do not seem to be okay
hot dog tip: put hummus on the bun before you put the dog in it. thank me later
If Ben Palmer ends up dead in an idling car in a motel 6 parking lot I can personally vouch that he would never ever kill himself.
When a former congressman left his phone number on a joke website, I became his right hand man. Back in 2020, someone who follows me messaged me and said they bought the domain parler.social to make a parody website of the social media app Parler. He left a form on…
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