Pablo Eggscobar @HereComesPun
I think therefore I pun. You're more likely to find me over at @pauleggleston. Suffolk Joined February 2021-
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Following317
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Likes7K
Just back from doing a sponsored descent down the side of a building. My special skill of impersonating an owl as I came down infuriated another participant so much that he started shouting obscenities at me! Proof that abseil hoot power corrupts abseil lewdly. #LunchPun
A French artist just came and set up this composition for me, and I'm outraged. I mean, I'm not saying I don't like it. But he charges the oeuf.
Your occasional reminder that I have a book out. Some might venture that it would make an acceptable / tolerable stocking filler, but I couldn't possibly say either way... amzn.eu/d/hsjWvqi
So you heard that after I won several cuts from the butchers in a card game, I got back home to the farm to find out that one of my female sheep was questioning the existence of tropical cyclones, and you want to know if its true? Well that's four meat Uno, and ewe typhoon doubt.
People of Suffolk, its panto time! Come and see The Wizard Of Oz at the Stowmarket Regal! It's got an amazing cast! And I'm in it too!!! 😊 (As the *actual* Wizard!) x.com/stowmarketods/…
People of Suffolk, its panto time! Come and see The Wizard Of Oz at the Stowmarket Regal! It's got an amazing cast! And I'm in it too!!! 😊 (As the *actual* Wizard!) x.com/stowmarketods/…
Here’s a sneak peek at some of our fabulous cast!
Rehearsals are in full flow for our fun-filled Christmas pantomime, The Wizard of Oz! 🧙♀️ 🎟️ To grab your tickets, head over to regalstowmarket.co.uk/RegalStowmarke… Or call 📞 @RegalStowmarket on 01449 612825. Don’t delay - they’re going fast! #Stowmarket #Suffolk #panto #pantomime
RIP the bloke who, following a performance of 'A Midsummer Night's Dream', struck a round percussive instrument for each actor as they took their bow, except the one who got turned into a donkey. Gong, but not for Bottom.
Tom Jones and I have arranged to meet for pistols at dawn in our underwear. It's not a nude duel.
My wife says she'll leave me if I give her a silly nickname, so I'm calling her Bluff.
I've been tidying up my website today, and am going to try and do some more updates over the coming weeks... Have a gander over here! 😊 pauleggleston.com
Fancy a laugh? Tickets are on sale for Stowmarket Operatic & Dramatic Society's musical comedy; Half A Sixpence! Give yourself something to look forward to this summer - book your favourite seats today! 👉 regalstowmarket.co.uk #SODS #AmDram
Turns out John Denver is alive. I caught him catfishing me on a dating app pretending to be a flower seller who's as tall as a werewolf. By way of an apology, he's installing ledges all along my wooden garden boundary. He sills up my fences: lycan-height Tinder florist...
Name the actor...
I'm in a legal tussle with the red Teletubby over the ownership of a cabbage salad. It's complicated because she's substituted all but ten percent of it with a peppery Chinese sauce, but there's legal precedent because Po's szechuan is nine-tenths of the slaw.
Forgot I'd get all the bots telling me who can sort this out for me!! If anyone can like or RT the tweet above it would be appreciated, maybe TikTok will actually listen, take responsibility, and stop siding with the bullies!!
Gutted that @tiktok_uk have permanently banned my daughter's account, apparently because some school bullies decided to report her for no reason at all. Her content is always positive and fun, never hateful or harmful. TikTok are *enabling* the bullies. @TikTokSupport
What idiot said 'Let's Netflix & Chill babe, because they're streaming classic Poirot' and not 'Voulez-vous Suchet avec moi, ce soir?'
I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to a bloke who was in The Mamas & The Papas. All the sleeves are brown, and the tie is grey.
Neil Tennant from the Pet Shop Boys keeps sending me bits of fish in the post. Hang on, there's a delivery guy here now. I'll just go and see what it is this time... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a fin.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
10K Followers 983 Following I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD... (Puns, Am Dram, Cats)
Alf @whoelsebutalf
16K Followers 15K Following Devon Comedian Chris Leworthy from #BGT. Oh no, I've just won the UK Humblebrag championships again. #TraitorsUK #TheTraitorsUK #MaskedSingerUK #UKPunDay
Stevie Vegas (Steve t.. @SteveJuggler
9K Followers 4K Following Professional Entertainer (Juggling / Comedy / Magic / Circus Skills Tutor). I aim to please! Host/Producer/Puntestant @UKPunOff https://t.co/8h8dDcuhfs
Daniel Edison @DanEdisonComedy
13K Followers 8K Following One-liner comedian / writer of nonsense. I post original jokes. Jack of all trades, master of pun. Also on Instagram.
Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford
9K Followers 8K Following UK Pun Champion 2022 & current SCOTY runner-up. Top 10 Jokes EdinFringe 2019-22. 2024 tour: Get Rich Quick. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened
Paddy Gallagher @pad_gal
4K Followers 3K Following
The Bard of Cleasby (.. @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC
Richard Stone @RichardStone21
5K Followers 5K Following Ex financial programmer, economics, the 3Rs, humour and puns, walking, nature, music, photography, board games.
John-Paul Keates @jpkeates
3K Followers 4K Following The thane of groans. Mostly jokes. Now ritual is the husk of faith and loyalty, the beginning of confusion. No DMs https://t.co/E5oGlpnyLk
Dave Brennan 🇮🇪 @DaveBrennan2125
3K Followers 3K Following Bad dad joke and pun lover. Proud father of twin girls, which proves I’ve produced something outstanding at least once. SRFC #21 🇮🇪☘️🇮🇪
Ian DS @ScouldingIan
2K Followers 2K Following Ex Pat in NZ 🏴 🇳🇿 Hopefully all puns original, but there are only 48 musical scales, so who knows!
Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot
9K Followers 7K Following I've been called Witty. Though I'm sure I just misheard what was said? Anyway love and kindness.
Nic @tismenic70
15K Followers 7K Following Tis me. Published photographer. Follow if you like photos and rubbish jokes Only art DMs. Thank you 😊
Chu-Let-The-Dogs-Out�.. @Chumantastic
7K Followers 6K Following Mainly #Comedy🤣 #Family #Politics etc. Ask me the rest & I’ll tell you😊 Back up account is @Chumantastical😁
jamesdecay @jamesdecay
787 Followers 973 Following Real name Declan James Kenny. Freelance graphic designer. Runs, bikes, swims...depending on my humour, you’ll get an awful pun or a political rant!
A Shining Wit @Caffeine748
1K Followers 728 Following Crusader for wordplay, puns and corect spelling.
Max @maxharvey79
1K Followers 2K Following Barbigerous bon viveur & pedant. I draw things (instagram - zincportraits). I also tweet/post new puns each day at midday (#LunchPun) and have books (see below)
Shae Hamelin @ShaHamelin
56 Followers 5K Following
Karie Cereceres @KarCerece
0 Followers 85 Following
Emeline Zachary @EmelineZ16310
96 Followers 5K Following
Montana Shelman @shelma_monta
48 Followers 5K Following
Alleen Braden @bra_alle
91 Followers 5K Following
Tien Leah @leah_tien8937
55 Followers 5K Following
Celestia 😜 @Celestia6397
6 Followers 470 Following Opеn-mindеd аnd reаdу to ехрlorе thе wild sidе of lifе
Vernita Aldrow @VerniAldr
12 Followers 3K Following
Leethee @Leethee579195
364 Followers 2K Following
Pandora @whysoath32489
273 Followers 5K Following See the world on the road, and get to know yourself on the way!
Ambika P @AmbikaP69677904
0 Followers 116 Following
Huw Davies @Huwd79
249 Followers 1K Following Stand up comic, welshman and spiritual fat cat - views are my own. Regular MC at Aberlaugh comedy club in Abergavenny. Please contact for gigs or events.
Nadia Tolstoy @NadiaTolstoy
748 Followers 3K Following Illustrator, cartoonist and children´s book writer. Daily dose of silly insta-humor over @surrealians. Do you enjoy a #funny #pun? If not, better not follow...
Criag @craigpsutton
3K Followers 2K Following I like dumb things. Comedian, sketch, improv, & game designer. Check out my sketches and stand-up: https://t.co/SdPJmMpBwz
Mick @msthemagician
451 Followers 1K Following
One Liner Word Play @1LinerWordPlay
939 Followers 1K Following Satire, Wordplay, Memes, Original Content OC #onelinerwordplay #newyorkercartoons #oneliners #oneliner #artist #writer #words #puns #cats #visual #coffee #work
Kathryn Moody 💙 @kathrynmoody
396 Followers 2K Following Hard working wife of one and mum of two who aspires to be witty via Twitter. And usually fails. The views are mine, the pleasure is all yours.
Martin Baxter @martyb0212
154 Followers 2K Following Love my beautiful family, music, film, books and living life with a smile 😊
Sandb✪ch (Jim) @sandbachsvs
723 Followers 1K Following I’ve never tweeted about planes. Nor did I once upon a time write a joke for Freddie Starr. Lifelong Geek.
Sonja @sonja_mcf
95 Followers 480 Following
RevMaxPower 🇬🇧�.. @RevMaxPower
3K Followers 5K Following Englishman and Canadian. Fan of anything with an internal combustion engine, sails or wings. Carnivore. RT because I can…
Digitalmediafife @digitalmediafif
1K Followers 3K Following @nhs peer support worker and part time funny man
_Noddy @NoddyD
2K Followers 3K Following
barb lloyd @barbncake
355 Followers 1K Following don't bake, but lurve cake, don't sing but lurve music, opinionated, have a story/experience about most things - tis called LIFE NO DM's please
andyptyrrell @andypmanor
1K Followers 3K Following Father, runner, lover of history,Everton FC,beer and good humour
Maxwell Rayment @rayment_max
551 Followers 404 Following As a baby my hand was on my winkle. Nurse said to mum, You've a rude one there. Now I'm fags, beer & betting & an Addick. No DMs unless I know you
Carole Jean Powell �.. @Raygungurl
311 Followers 803 Following
David Cruickshanks @TheUnrealDavidC
1K Followers 2K Following http://Comedian.Mental health worker. PTSD survivor.
Dan Webster @DanWebster2
404 Followers 2K Following Raising lamb, powered by cheese and ham. Love bikes, guitars and food !! cufc
Jean @Coresink
274 Followers 1K Following
Ross McPharter @RossMcPharter
287 Followers 2K Following
Emma Jane @MunkigirlEmma
2K Followers 2K Following Mum to 2 amazing kids! Music, sports, giggling, making people smile! life’s too short! LFC fan 💋❤️💋
Troy Benstead @troy_benstead
294 Followers 1K Following
HeyYou! MS Ed @Hey4You2
460 Followers 1K Following Hey-o! Voting Blue - how about you? Vaxxed to the max 💪🏻 The person who reminds you of someone you know — hopefully, in a good way
Wanda Biddle @wandaabiddle
399 Followers 990 Following Pop culture advocate. Friendly organizer. Total analyst. Food ninja. Web lover. Twitter fan.
Emilio Palumbo @EmilioP
180 Followers 967 Following slightly greying bearded dad bod, which is every woman’s dream right?
Posterboy 🇫🇮☘.. @Posterboy104
342 Followers 331 Following Off the Grid. Sustainability. Not a rusted on.
HoneyMon21Nov @AndrewMac21nov
174 Followers 138 Following
Pops 🇺🇦 @MrPops_V
880 Followers 2K Following Trying to live the French dream, so far so good. Narcissist Free Zone...
Leonie S @leonierachel2
549 Followers 1K Following Freelance Writer. MA of Comedy. #DMsAreOpenBBC. One half of @alphamums1.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
10K Followers 983 Following I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD... (Puns, Am Dram, Cats)
Alf @whoelsebutalf
16K Followers 15K Following Devon Comedian Chris Leworthy from #BGT. Oh no, I've just won the UK Humblebrag championships again. #TraitorsUK #TheTraitorsUK #MaskedSingerUK #UKPunDay
Stevie Vegas (Steve t.. @SteveJuggler
9K Followers 4K Following Professional Entertainer (Juggling / Comedy / Magic / Circus Skills Tutor). I aim to please! Host/Producer/Puntestant @UKPunOff https://t.co/8h8dDcuhfs
Daniel Edison @DanEdisonComedy
13K Followers 8K Following One-liner comedian / writer of nonsense. I post original jokes. Jack of all trades, master of pun. Also on Instagram.
Richard Pulsford @RichardPulsford
9K Followers 8K Following UK Pun Champion 2022 & current SCOTY runner-up. Top 10 Jokes EdinFringe 2019-22. 2024 tour: Get Rich Quick. JOKE BOOK Punball Wizard PODCAST It Just So Happened
Paddy Gallagher @pad_gal
4K Followers 3K Following
The Bard of Cleasby (.. @Norfolkinidea
3K Followers 4K Following Ever youthful and eternally optimistic purveyor of puns, silliness, rhyme and occasional song. Fluent in both English and Bullshit. Lifelong follower of #LUFC
Richard Stone @RichardStone21
5K Followers 5K Following Ex financial programmer, economics, the 3Rs, humour and puns, walking, nature, music, photography, board games.
Dave Brennan 🇮🇪 @DaveBrennan2125
3K Followers 3K Following Bad dad joke and pun lover. Proud father of twin girls, which proves I’ve produced something outstanding at least once. SRFC #21 🇮🇪☘️🇮🇪
Ian DS @ScouldingIan
2K Followers 2K Following Ex Pat in NZ 🏴 🇳🇿 Hopefully all puns original, but there are only 48 musical scales, so who knows!
Jim Corbridge @MrBonMot
9K Followers 7K Following I've been called Witty. Though I'm sure I just misheard what was said? Anyway love and kindness.
Nic @tismenic70
15K Followers 7K Following Tis me. Published photographer. Follow if you like photos and rubbish jokes Only art DMs. Thank you 😊
Chu-Let-The-Dogs-Out�.. @Chumantastic
7K Followers 6K Following Mainly #Comedy🤣 #Family #Politics etc. Ask me the rest & I’ll tell you😊 Back up account is @Chumantastical😁
jamesdecay @jamesdecay
787 Followers 973 Following Real name Declan James Kenny. Freelance graphic designer. Runs, bikes, swims...depending on my humour, you’ll get an awful pun or a political rant!
A Shining Wit @Caffeine748
1K Followers 728 Following Crusader for wordplay, puns and corect spelling.
Max @maxharvey79
1K Followers 2K Following Barbigerous bon viveur & pedant. I draw things (instagram - zincportraits). I also tweet/post new puns each day at midday (#LunchPun) and have books (see below)
Sam Adams @SamonChar
2K Followers 2K Following Fundraiser. Writer of puns. Fan of live stand-up. LUFC fanatic - MOT / ALAW.
LunchyMcPunface @LunchyMcPunface
2K Followers 3K Following Join in the fun and tweet your ORIGINAL pun between 12:00 and 13:00 BST weekdays adding #LunchPun, AND #RateMyPun if you want to join in the day's competition
Peter Cole @petercolepoet
864 Followers 835 Following Smart, funny and handsome - are just some of the words which appear in my bio. All jokes & poems are original (as far as I know, or unless otherwise stated)
Leonie S @leonierachel2
549 Followers 1K Following Freelance Writer. MA of Comedy. #DMsAreOpenBBC. One half of @alphamums1.
Jason Moody @indie_man77
2K Followers 195 Following Competent husband. Average writer. Dad of twin things. BASEBALL IS LIFE. #hashtagger All puns are my own. #Yankees
#ukpunoff @ukpunoff
2K Followers 3K Following Live shows throughout the country. No longer online but back catalogue of 100+ shows on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts.
Bridie Schellenberg @BridieSComedy
428 Followers 1K Following Comedian, writer, parody musician (prodigy??), person of interest probably #actuallyautistic
Martin Billany @BillanyMartin
495 Followers 355 Following NO TAGS/LISTS/CHAIN TWEETS. Product of a violent & abusive father & a complicit mother who enabled him. PTSD. Grew up in Whitby. LUFC 💙💛🤍 MOT.
DK 🌈 @dk4poetry
888 Followers 2K Following #Asexual #cp #freestylepoet, #cannabis #equality #activist who’s #vegan. Founder of AccssAbility Arts. #feminist #buddhism
Elizabeth So Totally @elizablitzed
8K Followers 9K Following Chicago #Cubs and #cheese #fries loving #hashtagger. Snardonic #memes speaker who only writes while watching pro and high school #sports. Loves black #cats.
The Fortnight Club @FortnightClub
2K Followers 2K Following Founded by @AlanDavies1, now in our 30th record breaking year, worlds longest running new material night for pro-acts. With host @DomHolland @gary_colman
Chortle Comedy @chortle
46K Followers 902 Following UK comedy news, reviews & stand-up gig listings [email protected] Also at: https://t.co/iLBtxyZBkV and https://t.co/ixzgjnX571
Lee Roberts @lmrlambretta
295 Followers 90 Following El Roberto ♣️❤️ ♠️ ♦️To be someone must be a wonderful thing #standupcomedian #magician (Instagram ) @elrobertomagician
Philip Holden 🏳️.. @pwotg
2K Followers 4K Following Ideas in Writing podcast. Author, academic, actor and director. Wine, good coffee, truth and justice. Part of @WorksofOrange Tweet = personal opinion🌍
Calendar Girl Bot @CalendarGirlBot
12K Followers 5K Following I send out reminders of the regularly-scheduled #HashtagGames on TwiX! Follow me & enable notifications if you play hashtag games ❤️
Claire Oliver @Claire_Ollie
779 Followers 807 Following Purveyor of Laughter Punderdog Prints: https://t.co/uEtDcZTuRm
Paul @salmonpole
34 Followers 117 Following If there’s one thing that annoys me, it’s that’s loads of things annoy me.
marktristan @marktristan
123 Followers 192 Following I said to the man, “Are you trying to tempt me? Because I come from the land of plenty”
Best Jokes Ever @BestJokesEverUK
24K Followers 21K Following Follow us to be the first to hear the best jokes ever!!! #folloback #follobackforfolloback #follobackinstantly
@chriskingsinger @chriskingsinger
209 Followers 606 Following Singer & Comedy Entertainer. The One Man Rat Pack. The One Man Variety Show
Fereclubles @fereclubles
593 Followers 617 Following Here to read jokes and write awful ones. I love one-liners and #LunchPun.
Charlie @CharlieMcNeill_
261 Followers 904 Following So 10 years + later.. is no one gonna tell Fergi that humps aren’t normal for humans?
Duncan Smith @Duncan_Smith
2K Followers 4K Following Fine Arts Chair...and all that hoopla. Films, cats, current affairs and Top of the Pops type music
Peter McManus @PeterMcManus
827 Followers 2K Following Supporting #EFC is tough, also I must be one of the few on Twitter with a Bar named after them.
Leandro Benvenutti @Lockjead
3K Followers 4K Following
Rich James Presents: .. @ElecCafe
815 Followers 591 Following Every weekend on @radioKC playing independent electronic music for 1 hour - Saturday 10am UK | 5am ET | 2am PT - also the home of All Star Motivator's music
Alan Kelly @akellyucc
6K Followers 6K Following Personal ramblings about the world we live in and life in general, esp science and culture. Frequent puns and dogs. Professor, food scientist and Head @fnsucc
HeatherPronounceable .. @2bbzmma
1K Followers 3K Following This is awkward. Sometimes I write. Sometimes I tweet. Sometimes it’s real. Sometimes it’s made up. I retweet quite a bit. I’m awkward. Expect typos.
BadPuns.com @BadpunsDotCom
152 Followers 48 Following https://t.co/uG19FkK3yD: the original mud wordling website.
Chris Ord @cord_chris
327 Followers 4K Following A student trapped in an adult's body who finds it difficult to understand music made after 1986.......
Andrew Bailie @AndyBailieComic
2K Followers 5K Following NI Comedian/Comedy Writer • Tumbleweed Accumulator & Dark Whimsy • Founder @TheCraicClub & @WeeSweetieMice_. Art @andybailieart. https://t.co/S2VsabLC0l
Dan @GixxerDan
586 Followers 1K Following Father, Husband, Engineer. Mainly tweet politics and football. Known to be sarcastic. Dabble in collectible investing. Centre-Left views. Views my own
Jason White @JaseToons
304 Followers 598 Following Illustrator, cartoonist, animator, carer, writer of crap puns. Looking forward to a saner world.
Hopeless Semantic @JimBlower
1K Followers 632 Following Exploring the meaning of the bleak hopelessness of existence through the medium of knock-knock jokes.
Rusty Spike @RustySpike3
109 Followers 690 Following Healing Hands offers assistance in promotion cultivating cultural alliances I am NOT licensed,insured, nor credited. 1-641-548-6160 call for details 8A-5P CST
Ben Emmett Comedy @benemmettcomedy
1K Followers 2K Following Just trying to make people laugh and smile. Here are some of my more popular Tweets/jokes - https://t.co/xrSnsFEruR
foundmyhippo @foundmyhippo
29 Followers 125 Following I am @lostmyhippo, but this is where I only follow and share sources of 😊 and 🤣
The Real James Baker @JB_MusicComic
634 Followers 812 Following I play rock & roll music & tell awful jokes. Non-woke, no pronouns, life member of PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals). Self-declared “Fastest Pun In The West."
Just back from doing a sponsored descent down the side of a building. My special skill of impersonating an owl as I came down infuriated another participant so much that he started shouting obscenities at me! Proof that abseil hoot power corrupts abseil lewdly. #LunchPun
Your occasional reminder that I have a book out. Some might venture that it would make an acceptable / tolerable stocking filler, but I couldn't possibly say either way... amzn.eu/d/hsjWvqi
Here’s a sneak peek at some of our fabulous cast!
Tom Jones and I have arranged to meet for pistols at dawn in our underwear. It's not a nude duel.
My wife says she'll leave me if I give her a silly nickname, so I'm calling her Bluff.
I've been tidying up my website today, and am going to try and do some more updates over the coming weeks... Have a gander over here! 😊 pauleggleston.com
Fancy a laugh? Tickets are on sale for Stowmarket Operatic & Dramatic Society's musical comedy; Half A Sixpence! Give yourself something to look forward to this summer - book your favourite seats today! 👉 regalstowmarket.co.uk #SODS #AmDram
Forgot I'd get all the bots telling me who can sort this out for me!! If anyone can like or RT the tweet above it would be appreciated, maybe TikTok will actually listen, take responsibility, and stop siding with the bullies!!
Gutted that @tiktok_uk have permanently banned my daughter's account, apparently because some school bullies decided to report her for no reason at all. Her content is always positive and fun, never hateful or harmful. TikTok are *enabling* the bullies. @TikTokSupport
Thanks and * phew * * wipes forehead * ! M=
@lkbhndyou_ha @TonyCar57734381 Just tweeting it is enough... 😊 chortle.co.uk/correspondents…
@HereComesPun “Well in that case, sir. We’ll send a car over. Tomorrow…”
My mate reckons got a grant from No.10 to launch his singing career, and... he's got cabinet ministers playing in his band! - Get out, you can't get a grant for that! I dunno... he's already got government backing. #LunchPun #RateMyPun
The last time I saw my Girlfriend was 6 weeks ago when she was going to a fancy dress party as a flying dinosaur. I miss her Pterribly. #LunchPun #RateMyPun
Adverts for washing up liquid used to be subject to legal scrutiny. 🎶Hands that Judicious can be soft as your face, with mild green Fairy Liquid🎶. #lunchpun #ratemypun
My memory of art college is a bit sketchy. #LunchPun #RateMyPun
#LunchPun #RateMyPun I’ve just failed my Ventriloquist exam. Can’t say I’m surprised!!
⁃That TV hypnotist Mr Brown has become a Mafia boss. There’s an online petition to cancel him, with a Wings song playing over it… ⁃Ban Don Derren? ⁃No, ‘Live & Let Die’. #LunchPun #RateMyPun
Christian Bale’s brother, Hay, is always being chased by cows. #LunchPun #RateMyPun
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