Jasmine Ellis @JasmineCEllis
Comedian-Reality TV connoisseur- Black Girl, Texan linktree.com/jasmineellisco… Los Angeles, CA Joined September 2010-
Tweets16K
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Followers2K
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Following1K
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Likes28K
I used to love when y’all would fake a pregnancy on #Aprilfools and the comments would just be “again , With him?? REALLY Brianna?”
My stylist posted a before picture of my hair and I almost reported it as bullying 😭😭😭 why didn’t anyone tell me the back of my head looked like that
Lol the only way to pull off a April fools is to do it days early
Lol the only way to pull off a April fools is to do it days early
Austin see you next week! I’m taping my special at @rozcoscomedy lyscomedyfest.com/shows/jasmine-…
Shop owner very sweetly explained what Banh Mi was to me with the unprompted weariness of someone who explains it a lot in Idaho
Just double wrapped myself in a hotel towel so I know y’all eat good in Boise! Where should I go before my show eventbrite.com/e/jasmine-elli…
I think we owe it to Alicia Keys to pretend we didn’t hear her voice buffering
I thought Will. I. Am was too short for usher to slide through his legs like that
God bless whoever screen recorded this YouTube video of Ushers performance for me. They be gotten three phone calls and haven’t stopped.
Me buying Beyoncé tickets after buying Usher tickets
i like how the super bowl kinda has something for everybody. the football for the sports folks, a halftime show for the artsy people, movie trailers for the stans, funny commercials for the millennials, and even the uniforms kinda tight for the gays. this rlly is america!
I am so excited for the drama and the blue pills
Get your golden roses ready! ABC is officially launching “The Golden Bachelor” spinoff, “The Golden Bachelorette,” set to debut in the fall. variety.com/2024/tv/news/t…
I actually do like Ushers “OMG” but I also drank a lot of PBR in the 2010’s so I may not be the dissenting voice the Black Delegation needs.
I’ve gone full matching set Midwest see me tonight Cincinnati eventbrite.com/e/jasmine-elli…
I want this level of love and support
I want this level of love and support
I shared my most embarrassing dating story! Watch now The Bar Is In Hell | Dive In The DM's Ep 6 Sneak Preview youtube.com/shorts/Yo7j7Ne… via @YouTube
Sending this to my lil sister who was born in 1994 so she can feel like dust
Sending this to my lil sister who was born in 1994 so she can feel like dust
Elon has lost his wife, his kids, 40 billion dollars, and his space ship crashed. It’s like a genre of country music that doesn’t even exist yet
As a soft, sensitive crybaby, I just had a major turning point- someone apologized for being mean to me and I have no recollection of them being mean to me, that means either they talk shit about me behind my back and forgot or I really didn’t take something personal that’s big
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
ashley ray🍦ice cre.. @theashleyray
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Atsuko Okatsuka @AtsukoComedy
79K Followers 3K Following My @HBO special "The Intruder" out now! See me live on tour👇
i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
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French Canadian Monta.. @PeezyTX
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niles @NILES100
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Amy Miller @amymiller
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Valerie Tosi @valerie_tosi
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what a waste @sustainablekaty
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Mitchell Clemons @tweetingdouche
606 Followers 536 Following Failing stand up comic. I strive to be at my Jerry Maguire best. belows an old video. If you hate my shit, I was hacked. snapchat: studcrackers
Maggie Maye by day, T.. @Maggiemayehaha
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
ashley ray🍦ice cre.. @theashleyray
64K Followers 3K Following tv writer/comedian/host of @tvisaypod. [email protected] reps: brillstein
Atsuko Okatsuka @AtsukoComedy
79K Followers 3K Following My @HBO special "The Intruder" out now! See me live on tour👇
Kath Barbadoro @kathbarbadoro
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i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
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French Canadian Monta.. @PeezyTX
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SCAM GODDESS @DivaLaci
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557 Followers 632 Following The Frasier Crane of professional wrestling fans. Co-host of @ddffpod, and the only writer of the Ruptured Screen newsletter.
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itschughes @itschughes
567 Followers 2K Following Some people call me the space cowboy. Some people call me the gangster of being friends. Co-host of a podcast called Paultom City
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MILKY WAY GHETTO 🌌 @JayJurden
30K Followers 2K Following he/him. comic / actor / writer / X-Men nerd/writer! - bisexual demon / booking - https://t.co/ikhegHrDPH
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338 Followers 318 Following Intimate comedy club featuring local and touring talent and open mic night on East 7th St in Austin, TX
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223K Followers 71 Following SAG-AFTRA is the world’s largest labor union representing performers and broadcasters. Reposts or follows do not equal endorsements.
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28.1M Followers 7K Following #PinkFriday2 THE ALBUM is OUT NOW 🎀 #PinkFriday2FRAGRANCE out now 🎀 #PinkFridayNails out now 💅 #PinkFriday2WORLDTOURGagCity happening NOW 🛸🏙️ LØCi sneakers
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737 Followers 686 Following In constant search of the dopest version of me. If dreams count, I'm the best Global Guts contestant ever.
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492 Followers 1K Following Anxious + Creative Soul 🏳️🌈 I miss Jennifer Nettles being on Twitter.
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196 Followers 209 Following Comedy hosted by @karaklenk & @jaredlogan every Wednesday at 8pm at @barbandini's patio for free! Donations go to the comics [email protected]
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163K Followers 9K Following Grammy Winning, Emmy-Losing Singer-Songwriter/Comic. Martin (The Simpsons) Daphne, Icky Vicky 18+ NSFW. She/Her. Booking @Celebworx Shout outs @cameo.com
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966 Followers 249 Following Everything Austin Comedy. Like us on: http://t.co/yhFOcgziy2
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This is Why we Can't .. @lauramkrisch
31 Followers 819 Following Failure of many things at once, Gritty enthusiast, too obsessed with Halloween for my own good.
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NPR @NPR
8.7M Followers 63K Following NPR is an independent news organization committed to informing the public about the world around us. You can find us every other place you read the news.
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SiriusXM Comedy @SiriusXMComedy
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@DenzelVelasque3 This is basically selling your soul, it's so pointless
as a little Black girl i never understood why chutney didn’t just say she wore a shower cap
It’ll always be this for me, not only for Elle realizing she got her (especially with her little snappy shoulder shimmy confidence walk), but how Chutney realizes she’s caught, and then everyone else - especially the judge’s - OMG
@anylaurie16 What's offensive to me is taking the time to record a video and not bothering to learn "this lady's" name (Heidi Gardner). The laziness boggles my mind.
@ZeroStarReviews Female misogynists are so embarrassing. 😒
cowboy carter pt 1 / cowboy carter pt 2
Need a Black Girl Only place to discuss Love Is Blind I have some things to say
@ericarhodes Sorry that happened to you! When we open in Fort Worth, in March, we’d love to have you. There are green rooms and you won’t have to worry about getting replaced.
@JasmineCEllis And honestly, I would be totally OK with this
i love observing how moms, who are really happy to be moms, treat their children. like wow you lucky duckling, this woman loves you more than air. she’s been waiting for you. you’re everything to her. you’re going to have a great time on earth with her.
Black folks he gone do OMG yall forget who signing the checks now
i like how the super bowl kinda has something for everybody. the football for the sports folks, a halftime show for the artsy people, movie trailers for the stans, funny commercials for the millennials, and even the uniforms kinda tight for the gays. this rlly is america!
what i find to be an interesting phenomenon is that people eat it up when a singer does a soft cover of a belting song but hates when someone belts a softer song…
kelly clarkson covered "My Love Mine All Mine" by mitski
@BillAnd30362495 @jzux God I hope I’m not this whiney when I’m your age
@BillAnd30362495 @jzux Then why do you stalk her account?
@angelmamiistan @BillAnd30362495 @jzux You didn't have to kill him like that 😭
@BillAnd30362495 @jzux Seems like you understand her just fine considering you read and respond to nearly all of her tweets 🧐
we make a lot of jokes about the intimacy of Trader Joe’s cashier interactions, but today me and my cashier talked about the dissolution of his 6-year relationship. he was just bagging my yogurt like “i felt that marrying her would be betraying us both”
@JasmineCEllis lol you liking that song makes me want to say Oh, oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh,Oh my gosh 🤦🏽♂️
He legit laughed at everyone’s obvious frustration 😂
When I saw him in Vegas he performed OMG and most of the Black crowd sat down. He said “I know y’all real usher fans cuz y’all DO NOT like that song” He knows we hate it but he’s cool with it 😂😂
Black people agreeing that we don’t like “OMG” has really restored my faith in Black History Month.
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