Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

My life's greatest ambition is to have a collection of giraffe t-shirts so extraordinary that yours will look like crap by comparison. Joined August 2011

Tweets

121
Followers

25
Following

88
Likes

12

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

6 years ago

@FlightHub My flight to the Philippines last year was cancelled due to COVID and I received a travel credit. That credit expires tomorrow. I need the deadline extended because I can't fly to the Philippines due to travel restrictions. Please help.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

14 years ago

Know a Canadian student who deserves a $20,000 CIBC GIC which could help pay for school? Please RT luckie.st/20K4You #luckieststudent

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

14 years ago

Do you know a Canadian student who needs $20K for school and an incredible package from Dell and Mexx? luckie.st/20K4u #luckieststudent

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Neptune is the Kelly Rowland of the planets. Come on, Neptune, don't act like you didn't already know it.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

The worst part about my new car is the slow, sad realization that it's Friday night and I have nowhere to go. It revs like a BEAST, though!

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

@laurensamsmith: Wanna do Ming's lunch buffet / Kelly's / Timmies? I need more reasons to leave the house.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

I don't get people who buy Pinesol. That stuff tastes like shit.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

If Mantracker isn't listed under your "People Who Inspire You" on Facebook, I'm glad I don't fucking know you.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

@laurensamsmith: Also, I didn't proofread that. Obvs.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

@laurensamsmith: My sleep schedule still fucked. :( I'll be in bed before BB, probably.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Impromptu debate: Whether female masturbation jokes are too hot to be funny. And people don't think Humour Writing 101 is a legit class...

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Some people call me needy, but I'm really just wanty in an aggressivey sort of manner.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

I can't give you exact numbers, but if you start calling cousins "the forbidden fruit" enough times, your Christmases start getting lonely.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Sometimes I reread all the sexts I send in order to improve my form. For good reason, too: Muppets are brought up a ghastly amount of times.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Of course I care about indigenous rights! Have you even SEEN my Jeep Cherokee?

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

My windows are so smudgy that on bright days they set off the smoke detector.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Can we all just agree that music peaked with Build Me Up Buttercup?

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Having hipster parents is stressful. Just once I want them to use the strap on me as punishment for something besides listening to Rihanna.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

Sometimes I go to department stores and swap all the meat thermometers and pregnancy tests. Dinner and reproduction have never been so zany.

Mark Brian @MrMarkBrian

15 years ago

I'm thinking of naming my firstborn child Alfie. Incidentally, I hate kids.

Responsible firearms owner. Not to be confused with Honey BooBoo. My hobby harms no one. Here to help educate the ill- informed.

Pronouns: FN/AR/AK

Gunny PewPew @LAGO4Q2

437 Followers 1K Following Responsible firearms owner. Not to be confused with Honey BooBoo. My hobby harms no one. Here to help educate the ill- informed. Pronouns: FN/AR/AK

I GuESS i loVE you WAS oNE of YOUR ApRil TRicK WHICH I sTupiDly FEEl FoR....

raynalie dispo @raynaliedispo

19 Followers 216 Following I GuESS i loVE you WAS oNE of YOUR ApRil TRicK WHICH I sTupiDly FEEl FoR....

Let's do something different: a new wave of @itravel2000 http://t.co/LIit06Ue #travel #fun #dosomethingdifferent

GenNext: itravel2000 @GenNext_itravel

260 Followers 656 Following Let's do something different: a new wave of @itravel2000 http://t.co/LIit06Ue #travel #fun #dosomethingdifferent

BLUE ANGEL IN HOT PANTS * TWISTED HALO * FIERY ARIES * NC GIRL * TRUMP IS THE ANTI-CHRIST * #NEVERBERNIE * #HILLARYWON * #PRESIDENTPELOSI * #LGBTQ * #RESIST

Kimberly Willis @TwyztedChyck

2K Followers 4K Following BLUE ANGEL IN HOT PANTS * TWISTED HALO * FIERY ARIES * NC GIRL * TRUMP IS THE ANTI-CHRIST * #NEVERBERNIE * #HILLARYWON * #PRESIDENTPELOSI * #LGBTQ * #RESIST

Discovered and designed a vaccine that penetrates the Hypothalamus and creates an appetite for social networking .

Mine is L-shaped . @Nut_Basket

1K Followers 2K Following Discovered and designed a vaccine that penetrates the Hypothalamus and creates an appetite for social networking .

I shan't take up too much of your time since I do need to nip back to Debenhams before it closes and exchange this box of dried fruit.

Margaret Stamen @MargaretStamen

194 Followers 222 Following I shan't take up too much of your time since I do need to nip back to Debenhams before it closes and exchange this box of dried fruit.

Basically, I love to curse.

lucii @lucii5

1K Followers 2K Following Basically, I love to curse.

TS Ashlock @ShowYerWork

4 Followers 271 Following

I will put this as succinctly and as eloquently as possible... GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! ~ CEW III

Theodore Roy @teddywah

2K Followers 2K Following I will put this as succinctly and as eloquently as possible... GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE! ~ CEW III

I don't care about politics, especially yours.
Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.

Shane @shanethevein

16K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.

crazy @cottoncndymandi

440 Followers 487 Following I am a crazy bitch! My boobs smell like cotton candy...because they are magic! Yes I got the magic in me! Ask my future hubby @MattSSpence

I'd say 99% of my tweets are simply brainfarts. Like all farts, they should be shared! The other 1% are from my caring side. So like, fuck you.

Battabing! @guyspencer17

386 Followers 1K Following I'd say 99% of my tweets are simply brainfarts. Like all farts, they should be shared! The other 1% are from my caring side. So like, fuck you.

here to save myself from all the bullshit with your humor

Key West @keywester34

80 Followers 163 Following here to save myself from all the bullshit with your humor

Time traveller. Listener. Music lover. No genre, gender, or class borders.

rpk @robertplankton

402 Followers 879 Following Time traveller. Listener. Music lover. No genre, gender, or class borders.

Fulana de Tal @GroseraGirl

2K Followers 2K Following

photographer, masker 😷

Kali Mura @Kali_Mura

2K Followers 2K Following photographer, masker 😷

Your alt-church spiritual advisor.

Nikki Vann @revnikk

294 Followers 496 Following Your alt-church spiritual advisor.

The Agony and the Apathy

IDontDoReviews @obscureReviewer

4K Followers 4K Following The Agony and the Apathy

I'm between blowjobs.

WundaWoman @WunddaWoman

155 Followers 376 Following I'm between blowjobs.

like, if peter pan & pinocchio had some sort of useless offspring... [ frezz as fuck. ]

Rainbow Brite @Cool_Jesse

8K Followers 4K Following like, if peter pan & pinocchio had some sort of useless offspring... [ frezz as fuck. ]

Dumbest Mensan ever(statistically inaccurate perhaps,but it’s part of my charm so I’m going w/it).Mental health provider.Marijuana rights activist.

(un)graceful(ish) @graceful_mess11

1K Followers 2K Following Dumbest Mensan ever(statistically inaccurate perhaps,but it’s part of my charm so I’m going w/it).Mental health provider.Marijuana rights activist.

Father of two great girls, husband of one fantastic wife, restorer of British sports cars, atheist and secular humanist

Luke Lewis @sooperluke

73 Followers 502 Following Father of two great girls, husband of one fantastic wife, restorer of British sports cars, atheist and secular humanist

Based on the semi-popular human.

Joe C. @inturnaround

2K Followers 2K Following Based on the semi-popular human.

Hang Qiong @HangQiong

79 Followers 376 Following

Affably misanthropic hellspawn who needs a place to put goofy things he says. Proud to be on the side of the people who can spell and use grammar. he/him

Mr. Anthropy @Zwolf666

2K Followers 1K Following Affably misanthropic hellspawn who needs a place to put goofy things he says. Proud to be on the side of the people who can spell and use grammar. he/him

Canada's largest job board for students searching for entry-level jobs, internships, and co-ops to launch their careers.

Jobpostings.ca @jobpostingsca

25K Followers 2K Following Canada's largest job board for students searching for entry-level jobs, internships, and co-ops to launch their careers.

Mission: To provide exceptional leadership and management training to entrepreneurs through real-world business experiences. Service: Painting & Window Cleaning

College Pro @College_Pro

10K Followers 703 Following Mission: To provide exceptional leadership and management training to entrepreneurs through real-world business experiences. Service: Painting & Window Cleaning

The best perks for Canadian students, all in one place. Over $500K in 💰 Giveaways💲 Scholarships 🎁 Deals

Student Life Network @StudentLifeNet

87K Followers 14K Following The best perks for Canadian students, all in one place. Over $500K in 💰 Giveaways💲 Scholarships 🎁 Deals

Discovered and designed a vaccine that penetrates the Hypothalamus and creates an appetite for social networking .

Mine is L-shaped . @Nut_Basket

1K Followers 2K Following Discovered and designed a vaccine that penetrates the Hypothalamus and creates an appetite for social networking .

Spider killer, folder of fitted sheets, Orgasmatron™, and @Paigecicle82 be meh woman.

O_N @Arclight97X

104 Followers 315 Following Spider killer, folder of fitted sheets, Orgasmatron™, and @Paigecicle82 be meh woman.

Tennessean in the UK. Has sausages for legs.

Beth Luxury-Yacht @siouxdonnem

2K Followers 494 Following Tennessean in the UK. Has sausages for legs.

Humor,musician,mental health,kayaking, biking, Retired, cat lover ✡️🌈Kindness matters!
Find me where the skies are blue and friendly. Same handle.

Mikey from Canarsie. ... @mikeym00n

8K Followers 6K Following Humor,musician,mental health,kayaking, biking, Retired, cat lover ✡️🌈Kindness matters! Find me where the skies are blue and friendly. Same handle.

𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓊𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈, 𝒶𝓁𝒾𝒶 𝑜𝒸𝒸𝒶𝓈𝒾𝑜. 𝑒𝓈𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝒶𝒹𝒶𝓈𝓈 𝒸𝓊𝓂 𝒷𝑜𝓃𝑜 𝒶𝓈𝓈.

𝓁𝑜𝓆𝓊𝑒�... @JulesJulietta

9K Followers 892 Following 𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓊𝓈 𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈, 𝒶𝓁𝒾𝒶 𝑜𝒸𝒸𝒶𝓈𝒾𝑜. 𝑒𝓈𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝒶𝒹𝒶𝓈𝓈 𝒸𝓊𝓂 𝒷𝑜𝓃𝑜 𝒶𝓈𝓈.

I don't care about politics, especially yours.
Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.

Shane @shanethevein

16K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls. Born in Hawaii, lives in Texas via Cali, Arizona, and Baltimore.

Poo flinger, rap singer and recording fartist.

Ziggy B. Wigged @ZiggyWigged

1K Followers 711 Following Poo flinger, rap singer and recording fartist.

Curated tweets for your pleasure. I ♥ @farleftcoast. http://t.co/YutxJiYpyl

Luka & Lincoln @thedailymarker

3K Followers 596 Following Curated tweets for your pleasure. I ♥ @farleftcoast. http://t.co/YutxJiYpyl

Basically, I love to curse.

lucii @lucii5

1K Followers 2K Following Basically, I love to curse.

Founder of https://t.co/0hz4wnIEBg and author of 35 novels. https://t.co/ZE5rPi0y8N

Robert Kroese @robkroese

17K Followers 2K Following Founder of https://t.co/0hz4wnIEBg and author of 35 novels. https://t.co/ZE5rPi0y8N

crazy @cottoncndymandi

440 Followers 487 Following I am a crazy bitch! My boobs smell like cotton candy...because they are magic! Yes I got the magic in me! Ask my future hubby @MattSSpence

Gun toting, mayhem loving, vodka swilling, stiletto wearing, sportbike riding girl. Imagine GI Joe + Barbie + high IQ = that’s me. BAMF (vodka friendly)

I'm Vodkalicious @2XSiv4U

1K Followers 721 Following Gun toting, mayhem loving, vodka swilling, stiletto wearing, sportbike riding girl. Imagine GI Joe + Barbie + high IQ = that’s me. BAMF (vodka friendly)

American + Dutch citizen in Amsterdam.
When my two year-old was diagnosed with cancer, I quit politics. Now, I like to look and make cool shit.

Michele @MicheleLewis

2K Followers 349 Following American + Dutch citizen in Amsterdam. When my two year-old was diagnosed with cancer, I quit politics. Now, I like to look and make cool shit.

Official Twitter page for the radio legend Mancow. Live Podcast Monday’s at 7pm Chicago Time

MancowMuller @MancowMuller

59K Followers 141 Following Official Twitter page for the radio legend Mancow. Live Podcast Monday’s at 7pm Chicago Time

Chicago Bulls 6-Time Champion,14-Time NBA All-Star, 4-Time Olympic Gold Medallist,10-Time NBA Scoring Champion. Parody.

Michael Jordan @MikeJeffJordan

3K Followers 189 Following Chicago Bulls 6-Time Champion,14-Time NBA All-Star, 4-Time Olympic Gold Medallist,10-Time NBA Scoring Champion. Parody.

🚨 Leftist. (not actually Nick Cave’s eyebrows) Ask your local Tesla dealer if thermal runaway is right for you. | ☉:♒︎ | ☾:♑︎ | ↑:♉︎ | Top 1% on of.

Nick Cave's Eyebrows @crassTINman

400 Followers 630 Following 🚨 Leftist. (not actually Nick Cave’s eyebrows) Ask your local Tesla dealer if thermal runaway is right for you. | ☉:♒︎ | ☾:♑︎ | ↑:♉︎ | Top 1% on of.

I'd say 99% of my tweets are simply brainfarts. Like all farts, they should be shared! The other 1% are from my caring side. So like, fuck you.

Battabing! @guyspencer17

386 Followers 1K Following I'd say 99% of my tweets are simply brainfarts. Like all farts, they should be shared! The other 1% are from my caring side. So like, fuck you.

Parody. Not affiliated with or connected to any similarly-named individuals or brands.

So-called Podcasting ... @nealveglio

3K Followers 1 Following Parody. Not affiliated with or connected to any similarly-named individuals or brands.

here to save myself from all the bullshit with your humor

Key West @keywester34

80 Followers 163 Following here to save myself from all the bullshit with your humor

The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

Whiskey Robot @RonsRobot

234 Followers 566 Following The jerk store called, they're running out of you.

Writer of comedy.
Omnipresent. Perspicacious. Arthritic.

Perry Stroika @PerryJerisho

1K Followers 904 Following Writer of comedy. Omnipresent. Perspicacious. Arthritic.

BLUE ANGEL IN HOT PANTS * TWISTED HALO * FIERY ARIES * NC GIRL * TRUMP IS THE ANTI-CHRIST * #NEVERBERNIE * #HILLARYWON * #PRESIDENTPELOSI * #LGBTQ * #RESIST

Kimberly Willis @TwyztedChyck

2K Followers 4K Following BLUE ANGEL IN HOT PANTS * TWISTED HALO * FIERY ARIES * NC GIRL * TRUMP IS THE ANTI-CHRIST * #NEVERBERNIE * #HILLARYWON * #PRESIDENTPELOSI * #LGBTQ * #RESIST

Fulana de Tal @GroseraGirl

2K Followers 2K Following

Try my other accounts.

Frankie Balls @FRANKSTALICIOUS

3K Followers 15 Following Try my other accounts.

Baffled meanderer, pilgrim & foolosopher with nothing to say.
With my last breath I would make a poem. Listen to the birds, not the news.

CrankyPappy @CrankyPappy

181K Followers 162K Following Baffled meanderer, pilgrim & foolosopher with nothing to say. With my last breath I would make a poem. Listen to the birds, not the news.

photographer, masker 😷

Kali Mura @Kali_Mura

2K Followers 2K Following photographer, masker 😷

I'd rather overwork than underachieve ☪️☮️✌🏽🗽🇭🇳🇸🇻💚🌬️🏋🏽🌮👔🎶

Thunder G @ThunDaLegend

262 Followers 137 Following I'd rather overwork than underachieve ☪️☮️✌🏽🗽🇭🇳🇸🇻💚🌬️🏋🏽🌮👔🎶

As in the possessive

Derek @yourderek

275 Followers 280 Following As in the possessive

Laughing at my Shadow and releasing my Inner Child. Come join the party!

TippyTaloo @TippyTaloo

26 Followers 54 Following Laughing at my Shadow and releasing my Inner Child. Come join the party!

Meredith @Mere_Death

988 Followers 348 Following

I fell 5 stories once. Residual effects? Just cynicism, sarcastic tendencies, a delusional superiority complex, & an abnormal fear of balconies. Nothing major

Nick Toplass @TitaniumToplass

4K Followers 628 Following I fell 5 stories once. Residual effects? Just cynicism, sarcastic tendencies, a delusional superiority complex, & an abnormal fear of balconies. Nothing major

Your Favorite Rapper's Favorite Comedian / Hard Times contributor / Pitchfork's Most Underappreciated Comedian / My tweets are better than yours and you know it

Johnny Sparkles @DeLaSparkles

2K Followers 592 Following Your Favorite Rapper's Favorite Comedian / Hard Times contributor / Pitchfork's Most Underappreciated Comedian / My tweets are better than yours and you know it

Bleached Roses is an electropop band from Austin, TX.

Bleached Roses @bleachedrosestx

1K Followers 682 Following Bleached Roses is an electropop band from Austin, TX.

bot @bot99rdc

313 Followers 462 Following boom

Time traveller. Listener. Music lover. No genre, gender, or class borders.

rpk @robertplankton

402 Followers 879 Following Time traveller. Listener. Music lover. No genre, gender, or class borders.

psychotherapist and poet. he/him. uninvited on stolen musqueam, squamish & tsleil-waututh land. black lives are sacred. heavy sits the crown.

harbinger dhoom @hic_calix

552 Followers 278 Following psychotherapist and poet. he/him. uninvited on stolen musqueam, squamish & tsleil-waututh land. black lives are sacred. heavy sits the crown.

I am the Mario Mendoza of Twitter (dot com)

Jimmy Shaw @roadkill3x

3K Followers 490 Following I am the Mario Mendoza of Twitter (dot com)

personlig så inihelvete.

private for your pleasure.

lower case.

pea @preawsaurus

5K Followers 460 Following personlig så inihelvete. private for your pleasure. lower case.

I hope you didn't get any paper cuts while I was out getting shot and stabbed.

Pedro @CrackedIllusion

5K Followers 939 Following I hope you didn't get any paper cuts while I was out getting shot and stabbed.

Binned this off now. RIP the Tweetzone.

https://t.co/mOj8hTSRlg

I write a Mews Letter: https://t.co/dTAROwYFpU

Ed Jefferson @edjeff

4K Followers 848 Following Binned this off now. RIP the Tweetzone. https://t.co/mOj8hTSRlg I write a Mews Letter: https://t.co/dTAROwYFpU

Writer of stuff and also things.

Killing Adonis audiobook out now
Rumors of Her Death Sept 2023
Lenore's Last Funeral Oct 2023

Repped by @CindyBirchLit

Josh Donellan @jmdonellan

1K Followers 1K Following Writer of stuff and also things. Killing Adonis audiobook out now Rumors of Her Death Sept 2023 Lenore's Last Funeral Oct 2023 Repped by @CindyBirchLit

Burning down the memory palace!

Johns Liver @BlueLanugo

2K Followers 872 Following Burning down the memory palace!

Your alt-church spiritual advisor.

Nikki Vann @revnikk

294 Followers 496 Following Your alt-church spiritual advisor.

NC-18 - NSFW - Madness, Myth, and Robots. DJ/VJ See also: Σήθ, ψυχή κόσμου, transhuman, die before you die, music updates: @TMA_live @TMAESP @VJESP

Calico tTaco Graves @TheMidnightAce

2K Followers 2K Following NC-18 - NSFW - Madness, Myth, and Robots. DJ/VJ See also: Σήθ, ψυχή κόσμου, transhuman, die before you die, music updates: @TMA_live @TMAESP @VJESP

Eyebrows. Ears. Nose. Chin.

Herbivore @ericbove

21K Followers 21K Following Eyebrows. Ears. Nose. Chin.

Editor in chief, journalist. Star of parallel parking, but is still learning everything else.

Madelene @MadAxes

2K Followers 403 Following Editor in chief, journalist. Star of parallel parking, but is still learning everything else.

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