Nick Toplass @TitaniumToplass
I fell 5 stories once. Residual effects? Just cynicism, sarcastic tendencies, a delusional superiority complex, & an abnormal fear of balconies. Nothing major Vancouver, B.C Joined April 2009-
Tweets6K
-
Followers4K
-
Following642
-
Likes55K
I took a 6 year long break from using Twitter but I think I'm finally ready to come back. What'd I miss?
1
0
7
0
0
There's only two people I've ever fully trusted in my life and both of them were Tom Hanks
Back in my day we had to walk 30 miles each way to school & "walk" meant fight & "miles" were bears & "school" was just a fire we stood in
It's my cat, Mowgli's, birthday but he doesn't seem to be celebrating for some reason
Nick Toplass retweeted
Life is great. Not my life, but other life.
Nick Toplass retweeted
Sorry I yelled "SPOILER ALERT!" when you told us grandma had six months to live :(
Nick Toplass retweeted
Scientists announced today that I am their friend and they like me
Built a birdhouse but I live in a prime location & a young professional was willing to pay rent to wear it as a shelter-helmet. Sorry birds
This is what a World Series Winning throw looks like
1st time watching baseball: guys were playing Hot Potato when a mean guy just hit it with a stick & ran off. Everyone was like "our potato!"
Mathematicians at MIT decided that no number exists for how many times I've dropped my phone on my own face. "It's just so many" cried one.
Business ideas: • Cold Air Balloon Rides. • Hats for Deaf People. • Pro-Dandruff Shampoo. • Babysitting but for Sharks. • Rock Rentals.
Nick Toplass retweeted
*bursts into starbucks* Me: DO YOU GUYS HAVE A POWER OUTLET Barista: yeah over there Me: oh thank god *plugs in a mechanical bull*
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was that time he put Skittles in M&Ms bags & giggled uncontrollably as people were mildly shocked
Well gosh darn, I ain't had me a trophy for ages. Thanks @clichedout for the cup & kind words!
Nick Toplass retweeted
My parrot died today. Its last words were, "Fuck, I think my parrot is about to die."
Me: Do you ever stick balloons over your hands because it's fun? Her: No? Me: YA! Oh. Me not too *keeps hands in pockets for rest of date*
One time I went to toss a Frisbee but my watch got caught on my belt during the wind up & I ended up throwing myself across a field
Nick Toplass retweeted
If a shark is ever attacking me I'm gonna be like where are your parents do they know you act like this
How to make scrambled eggs: 1) Get eggs. 2) Scramble eggs. 3) Watch your back, chicken families are vengeful. 4) Add some cheese maybe?
Ken Jennings @KenJennings
419K Followers 504 Following Your Jeopardy! pal. Author of 100 PLACES TO SEE AFTER YOU DIE (https://t.co/pxwTQ2d7lo) and a bunch of other stuff. OMNIBUS co-founder (https://t.co/aURWrO4dAO).
Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy
31K Followers 2K Following Standup Comic and former guy who uses Twitter
Tragically Tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl
39K Followers 932 Following Observer of people and other stupid things. 🐾 Shitposter extraordinaire
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
27K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
andy lassner @andylassner
397K Followers 2K Following Executive Producer - @JHudShow Previously @ellendegeneres show
Shane @shanethevein
17K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan. Crodie lover. I block trolls.
Tadoa @TadoaesiI
36 Followers 1K Following
CoolGirl @girl_cool61481
23 Followers 2K Following
Meetusey @MeetuseypHy
16 Followers 2K Following
Thairth @Thairthwy8
10 Followers 1K Following
Pumpkin @Pumpkin614011
31 Followers 2K Following
Freeandeasy @Freeandeas68976
46 Followers 3K Following
James Blight @jkblight
90 Followers 416 Following video game / commercial / cartoon / movie trailer voice over artist, voice of The Hulk, crooner, jazz singer, bass player, ring-bearer, geek...
Funkin OG APE AMC/GME... @FunkfaceOGApe
2K Followers 3K Following I'm not focusin on da f'n moon but I have DD’ed enough dat u’ll pass me as I RETIRE in outer space. I’m no f’in financial advisor but I have F'n sense to HoDL!
Tops Titanium @AbbyLiu647
34 Followers 395 Following High quality Titanium tube/bar/sheet/bolt/nut/processing parts
John Cena @JohnCena
14.4M Followers 1.1M Following A forum of thoughts and perspectives designed to ignite conversations and actions leading to growth, and occasional self promotion. #NeverGiveUp #RiseAboveHate
The Goin' Deep Show @thegds
237 Followers 978 Following Fighting for the Powers of Evil Because Good is Dumb. One of the first podcasts on the planet. Est. October 2, 2004
waterbuffalo @waterbu26472313
7 Followers 206 Following
AbbyLiu @AbbyLiu63055291
3 Followers 38 Following Baoji Future Titanium https://t.co/9jWtuWPftl web:https://t.co/7RVPwPFbkc Wechat:JS961013 Whatsapp:➕8618292713888
terri samith @doublegulp16
24 Followers 2K Following
Sophie C @SophieC35111286
0 Followers 41 Following
cilekusa @cilekusa
129 Followers 2K Following
Ask Alexa - Mental He... @mentalhealthy_
887 Followers 4K Following MSW | LCSW | Therapist | Mental Health Awareness & Advocate | Promoting Strength, Hope&Happiness | Stop the Stigma | Be Kind | Support Each Other | she/her/hers
Tim Yan @TimMa60645998
227 Followers 3K Following Professional suppliers of Titanium metal materials Major in MMO/platinum coated titanium anode products for disinfection,water treatment and other industry.
Aadam Suleiman kooshi... @Aadam0654427224
224 Followers 5K Following
[email protected] @caryw1962
83 Followers 4K Following
Erik Mitc @erik_mitch
4 Followers 159 Following
4blindmice @4blindmice1
667 Followers 2K Following Proud union member building trades,Boston,Dad,loving life,no time for negativity.✌💚 live a lot,love a lot.💘💘💘💘
nutdelicious @mytwonuts
10 Followers 109 Following if i havent thoroughly offended you , plz wait for me to hurt your mom . whos next ?
Soft Corner Instrumen... @softcornerinast
213 Followers 2K Following #SoftCornerInstruments is the Leading Manufacturers and exports of Dental surgical and beauty care instruments .
Charlay O @KreiselPeter
258 Followers 4K Following
Denise Gremillion @deegrem
160 Followers 3K Following
scott @scott96552733
155 Followers 364 Following
[email protected]... @CarolineShawn1
1 Followers 72 Following
Annie @Annie12852452
70 Followers 2K Following BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER 😇😇😇👉Studied Bachelor of Science in Medical Technology at Adventist Medical Center and /College
"Bye"sexual, pq eu s�... @FreshPrinceOfZL
97 Followers 191 Following À espera daquele ótimo motivo pra deletar essa merda .
Mr. Kang @kangweipeng
2 Followers 40 Following Titanium tubes, titanium rods, titanium plates, titanium parts.
Victoria Xue @VictoriaXue2580
3 Followers 77 Following
Callie @callie2215
18 Followers 618 Following I love being & doing things with my kiddos & husband! I don't like to take life too seriously. Laughing, having fun & enjoying the journey is what life is about
rob delaney @robdelaney
1.4M Followers 1 Following You can get my book, A Heart That Works, at the link below.
Ken Jennings @KenJennings
419K Followers 504 Following Your Jeopardy! pal. Author of 100 PLACES TO SEE AFTER YOU DIE (https://t.co/pxwTQ2d7lo) and a bunch of other stuff. OMNIBUS co-founder (https://t.co/aURWrO4dAO).
donni saphire @donni
56K Followers 1K Following Not here anymore. Come find me on Bluesky or Mastodon. Still do The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park every 3rd Thursday. It’s a comedy show
Future Vacation Enjoy... @SortaBad
56K Followers 719 Following Mostly inactive (online and sexually)
Arby’s Provocateur @SamGrittner
45K Followers 1K Following Poison for dinner? Again? 📸 IG: @samgrittner
Dan Duvall @DanDuvallComedy
31K Followers 2K Following Standup Comic and former guy who uses Twitter
Tragically Tater🍁 @TrueTorontoGirl
39K Followers 932 Following Observer of people and other stupid things. 🐾 Shitposter extraordinaire
Verifried Drunk™®�... @VerifiedDrunk
27K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
43K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
Megan Amram @meganamram
954K Followers 4K Following it's this weird, sexual, anti-comedy comedy that's 'in' right now. - my mom
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
15K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
44K Followers 4K Following I'm not everyone's cup of teeth. https://t.co/97Pa1xYSHh
andy lassner @andylassner
397K Followers 2K Following Executive Producer - @JHudShow Previously @ellendegeneres show
1Weather @OneLouderApps
4.7M Followers 38K Following 1weather - trusted source of weather for 35M users
Taika Waititi @TaikaWaititi
1.4M Followers 717 Following Bespoke tweets hand-crafted from locally sourced vintage dickhead.
Caitlin Canty @caitlincanty
2K Followers 144 Following
Babette Jones @BabetteJones
3K Followers 518 Following With my eyes, that's how I roll... Comedy, bondage, archery and squirrels...
Natasha Borromeo Real... @SaucyTashy
3K Followers 3K Following 📍Seattle bred 💭Healing in progress ✝️ Faith-full and favored 🤍 Amidst the chaos, choosing love & forgiveness 🤍
Quinn Sutherland @ReelQuinn
23K Followers 2K Following Disgraced cyclist. This is the best day of my life.
Holly Mae Henry @hollymaehenry
23K Followers 158 Following I'm holly. I like my cereal soggy. I feel guilty when I tear leaves off of trees. stream my album if u wanna: https://t.co/OGg2GsutUD
Just a girl @dammit_amy
28K Followers 5K Following I do important legal-ish stuff all day. Freelance smut narrator. Just here for the beer and hot wings.
EJ Gomez @EJGomez
17K Followers 710 Following
Gonzalo Cordova @GonzaloRCordova
3K Followers 2K Following Creator of Women Wearing Shoulder Pads coming to Adult Swim. Writer for Tuca & Bertie, Undone, Super Mutant Magic Academy, other stuff!
JRGin @GinRumMe
20K Followers 10K Following Eat Sleep RockN’Roll. Still from Twitter. Recents: https://t.co/znpZjkqqT3 (Favorites next link).
Carmen Cruz @TheCarmenCruz
3K Followers 3K Following On air at 99.3 CFOX. TV/Radio Personality, Producer & Fiery Latina. Viva Chile!!!Beauty/Music/Futbol Junkie. Opinions expressed are my own and your cool Aunts
KnoWhatI'mSayin'? @kev_dawg_
12K Followers 11K Following One day I’ll write a bio that doesn’t give clues on how old I am. Anyway, I’ve been a big fan of the original Star Wars ever since I saw it at the theaters.
Zack Ward @TotalZackWard
121K Followers 72K Following Child actor turned adult child. And yes, I am Scut Farkus ;) CAMEO #AChristmasStory @ResidentEvil @TitusNation
Teewee @Chloestylo
13K Followers 3K Following You've all been given top clearance to read my tweets. 🇺🇸 .. Patriot .. ❤ MAGA .. 🇺🇸
Adrienne Airhart Helb... @craydrienne
33K Followers 908 Following comedy • linguistics • psychedelics • cannabis. Chronic ex-wife. Former dancer. Extremely married.
Emiliana (Miss Chief) @lovewaterbaby
2K Followers 807 Following It’s been emotional and it's never dull.https://t.co/SYHVDvORTk
Special K @thatgirlCosta
682 Followers 1K Following McGriddle Monster. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
Tim @Playing_Dad
24K Followers 935 Following Very famous writer, director, musician, dancer, actor, star.
Kayligula @kayleighceilidh
4K Followers 2K Following There will come a day when I write a decent bio, but it is not this day.
Bizarre Lazar @BizarreLazar
48K Followers 12K Following Internet Guy | Rubber of elbows | Eater of sandwiches | Starter of slow claps
Dr. Alex Lockwood @AskAstroAlex
2K Followers 122 Following Alliterative atypical astrophysicist. Cecilia in the #PHDMovie. Outreach Scientist at Space Telescope. Launching #JWST and loving life! Opinions are my own.
Scorpius Ryan @scorpiusryan21
2K Followers 694 Following I wish I was a cat, but regrettably I'm an incredibly handsome boy. he/him/his
rob fee @robfee
102K Followers 860 Following WWE Director of Character Development | I love hibachi.
💀scientific maps a... @FilthyMacrame
982 Followers 556 Following https://t.co/trEeCdeFt8 https://t.co/RidnGWqHjb
Funny Tweeter @thefunnytweeter
12K Followers 4K Following If we retweet you, that means your tweet was published in https://t.co/Sjvvd3oshD. To submit a tweet, mention @thefunnytweeter
💕kt 🍉🇵🇸 @medikatiedd
4K Followers 3K Following He’d been wrong, there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and it was a flamethrower. she/her
lawblob @lawblob
34K Followers 2K Following
Jason Biggs @JasonBiggs
381K Followers 906 Following
Katie Dippold @katiedippold
31K Followers 1K Following Enjoys salt and haunted houses. https://t.co/OdKumKW5bG
We Sing Your Tweets @wesingyourtweet
3K Followers 4K Following You tweet them, We Sweet them. Simple as that :) Songs in 140 characters or less.
Chelsea Peretti @chelseaperetti
1.3M Followers 2K Following One of the Greats. Brooklyn Nine Nine. Music on all streaming. Suki in Sing 2. She/her/model https://t.co/HYHFFeNb87
Cool Eric @OBiiieeee
20K Followers 807 Following i told my dad Sonic The Hedgehog was gay and he ripped the oven door offTrends for United States
30,5 B posts
24,5 B posts
95,6 B posts
16,5 B posts
65,7 B posts
50,6 B posts
38 B posts
4.831 posts
6.594 posts
22,9 B posts
6.225 posts
17,6 B posts
12,2 B posts
2.876 posts
30,7 B posts
5.476 posts
10,8 B posts
7.354 posts
2.705 posts
You might like
NoLasteelersbabe
@flsteelersbabe
2K Followers
Babyface Blitz
@djbabyfaceblitz
5K Followers
Hugh Morris
@Mirth_Quake
2K Followers
Glenyrd Skynyrd
@glenyrd
2K Followers
PhilLaysheO
@PhilLaysheO
2K Followers
neo gruetus°
@gruetus
3K Followers
Mr. Sugarpants
@MrSugarpants1
2K Followers