Not Mick @NiknotMick
Between drunk and overwhelmed. favstar.fm/users/NiknotMi… Oakland Joined January 2011-
Tweets724
-
Followers574
-
Following214
-
Likes8K
Just kinda made eye contact with a cross-eyed babe.
Thought my parents were divorced, turns out I've just been wearing my socks inside out all day.
I only own a Third Aid Kit. (super-glue and whiskey)
Today's earthquake reminded me that I'm in California. Seeing a dude drink a beer w/ a pink straw reminded me that I'm in San Francisco.
(it took me 2 months to come up with that boner joke)
I just said "earning potential" and now I have erectile disfunction and 4 ex-wives.
The computer's "option" key doesn't even know what the fuck he's doing there.
How many more cigarettes does Thursday have to smoke 'til it gains "casual" status?
"I hope the blankets covering my windows don't make people think I have cats." - meth lab owners
I wanna do a jello shot off of Bill Cosby.
38 or 39 more long sighs and then it's Monday.
When people catch me reading food nutrition labels, I make sure to tell them that I could have diabetes--just so I don’t lose my man cred.
Not Mick retweeted
Drunkenly carting a smelly trash can to the curb during summer months is my "backpacking through Europe."
I have to watch a dog tomorrow. So I need to read about 18 more Baby-sitters Club books to get ready!
#FF @imsoforserious If my life does flash before my eyes, I hope I'm spared the scenes of me looking for the light switch in the dark.
I hope people on the phone can hear my nods of acknowledgement.
Be sure to put your name on food in the office fridge so I know who to avoid while walking around eating a hand full of pasta.
Sir Michael @Michael1979
214K Followers 1K Following Maker of @SturdyPodcast and How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet. Persecuted for wearing jean shorts to my grandad's funeral https://t.co/C0gsnmxKIS
Kate Wheeler @keetwhi
40 Followers 538 Following
rachael @rachaelmannion
112 Followers 2K Following don't stop imagining, the day that you do is the day that you die.
JustSmile @Asmilerforyou
1 Followers 220 Following
marina mary @marinamary347
17 Followers 297 Following
Homer J. Simpson @HomieJaySimpson
165 Followers 250 Following Homer and his wife Marge have three children: Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. As the family's provider, he works at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.
JOHN MCFARLANE @JMACTICKETS
983 Followers 1K Following Conservative - Independent. #Patriot #AmericaFirst. Color Blind #Eracism in my Lifetime! Business Owner @ JMAC TICKETS. Amateur Cook. #GodBless!
Girl Replica @WordsOf_Emotion
323K Followers 85K Following I buy shit I don’t want to sell it to people that DO want it for more ... so I can buy shit I want.
person @and_stuff01
16 Followers 228 Following
Cafe 919 Kadıköy @919_Cafe
8 Followers 229 Following En uygun fiyatlarla Türk ve İtalyan mutfağını barındıran lezzetli bir mekan. Osmanağa Mah. Nihal Sok. N1/B Kadıköy / İstanbul / Turkey T : 0216 336 60 30.
norwichsinginglesson @norwichsinging1
29 Followers 215 Following Getting Norwich Singing. Private Lessons, Audition Preparation, Stage Confidence Sessions, Singing Groups and Choirs, Corporate Packages.
thamiriz barbosa @ThamirizBarbosa
42 Followers 757 Following
i LOVE mustaches @sotrue77
68 Followers 880 Following
jamillybrendadacosta @jamillybrendad1
29 Followers 401 Following
elcio nascimeto @NascimetoElcio
21 Followers 427 Following Nao mudo por nada nessa vida amo quem me ama especialmente vc Andryelli martins
Daniela Elyzabeth @DanielaElyzabet
17 Followers 441 Following Administradora y profesora de Física-Matematicas
Renee Morales @Morales108Renee
5 Followers 290 Following
LP555M @LP555M
13 Followers 308 Following
irwan zulkurniawan @irwanzulkurniaw
15 Followers 250 Following
Yusuf Sonkur @YusuFSonkur
25 Followers 286 Following
Nicholas Loehr @IamNickTheDick
150 Followers 2K Following ---- Love,Freedom,Arts,Music ----Love is God ---- Y.O.L.O ----
Terry Plumley @FerrariTp
8 Followers 405 Following
Wildberry Whine @wildberrywhine
36 Followers 298 Following Queen of Tarts. Lover of all things Drew. Mischievous minx. More Betty than Veronica. And oh yeah... GO BUCKS!
Karine Bosak @KarineBosak
64 Followers 948 Following
mateo @MateoLokUra
8 Followers 140 Following
matty c @mattyclliver
27 Followers 196 Following radio presenter recently married to an amazing woman lisa
hania wilson @haniawilson
0 Followers 10 Following
Gregory DeVictor @payoffmydebtnow
16 Followers 462 Following Expert on debt settlement, debt consolidation, financial freedom, and how to save money on practically everything. Affiliate marketer and professional writer.
Suzanne O. Allison @allison58_
14 Followers 161 Following
Meelsi @SuVanaema
29 Followers 309 Following
Grey Steele @Grey_Steele
80 Followers 663 Following Adult toys, lingerie and fancy dress parties and online shop.
Barbara McClung @msmckaos
172 Followers 1K Following A true enigma...loving life, family, friends...and NASCAR!!!
Sofie True 🌛 @Sheriesykes
94 Followers 2K Following introvert who secretly wants someone to notice her
kristin kristal zizo @kristinkristalz
7 Followers 235 Following
sol musset primera @solmussetp
469 Followers 2K Following por una venezuela sin exclusiones...votemos por capriles..el chavismo se acabó al morir chavezz
Nefertyty @Nefertyty1
18 Followers 340 Following Учебный центр «Нефертити» проводит обучение по наращиванию ногтей с 2004г. Наша школа – это высококлассные специалисты-практики и богатая история.
ariel de lafe @arieldelafe1
10 Followers 440 Following
Shivam @Subham381
6 Followers 124 Following
MedicinalBliss @karmaloopdc
65 Followers 785 Following Shop at: KARMALOOP.com PLNDR.com BRICKHARBOR.com Buy something. Then use rep code: medicinalbliss You will receive 20% off your order!
Timymy Mania @shoptimmymania
0 Followers 25 Following
Kristy Gee @kristygee
15K Followers 1K Following Sometimes writer. I'm shy! (giggles & runs behind curtain to hide; falls out window to death)
Sir Michael @Michael1979
214K Followers 1K Following Maker of @SturdyPodcast and How to (Almost) Make Friends on the Internet. Persecuted for wearing jean shorts to my grandad's funeral https://t.co/C0gsnmxKIS
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
47K Followers 1K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. @sbellelauren on threads, IG, and tiktok. also https://t.co/oZPcpNvYbG
Shane Gillis @Shanemgillis
789K Followers 817 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves
Tim Pool @Timcast
2.8M Followers 1K Following Host of Timcast IRL And CEO https://t.co/05eFrFNCuW Host of The Culture War Podcast at https://t.co/mtMhgpJnKO
Andrew Schulz 👑HEZ... @andrewschulz
646K Followers 799 Following My New Special LIFE is on Netflix March 4th. INDULGE!
Brendan Schaub @BrendanSchaub
737K Followers 499 Following baseball Dad, truck addict, Diet Coke lover.
Joey CoCo Diaz @madflavor
852K Followers 526 Following Father, Husband, Comedian, Uncle Joey’s Joint, Badmotherfucker from North Bergen NJ! https://t.co/n01ix5X6vR
Tom Segura AKA Mr. La... @tomsegura
940K Followers 1K Following I have 4 specials on Netflix. podcast here: https://t.co/4uUwz2QOkf You can Merch up here: https://t.co/KaSVm44S8A
bert kreischer @bertkreischer
1.1M Followers 4K Following I am the Machine | Free Bert streaming now on @netflix | Permission to Party on sale now | #MakeFriends with @porososvodka | Text me: (323)208-0844
Chris D'Elia @chrisdelia
807K Followers 813 Following Twitter is free. You want good shit, pay for it. https://t.co/AVTBrxfbC4
Colin Moriarty @longislandviper
151K Followers 501 Following The Godfather of PlayStation podcasts (PSN: longislandviper). Owner of @laststandmedia. Writer of six indie games. Northeastern U alum. NY Jets & NY Isles fan.
LC Fisher @CorbFisher
825 Followers 2K Following Olympic, USST 🥇& WY rodeo alum. Daddy to the 2 coolest kiddos in the world . Got a fun lil gig in my hometown & around the world.https://t.co/msQtpz6iSG
Insider Tech Business @insidertechbiz
1.2M Followers 108 Following What you want to know about tech. A section of @thisisinsider. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Visit our homepage for the day's top stories.
Shelby @smelbz
4K Followers 757 Following I write words for money and I love it (the money). All teeth.
Carly @MsCarlissima
7K Followers 563 Following Don't tell me how to rob a bank. I know how to rob a bank.
GSElevator @GSElevator
738K Followers 3 Following Things heard in the Goldman Sachs elevators (Wall Street) do not stay in the elevators.
Colin Jost @ColinJost
263K Followers 653 Following https://t.co/HGLe1tC7vT for tour and link to pre-order my new book right down here👇
Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan
2.6M Followers 3K Following Male Model. “Live from Old Forester: The Bourbon Set” https://t.co/wvEONXI5na https://t.co/39GfjGbHaW
Will Madsen @Halloween_Bag
1K Followers 129 Following Writer, Aspiring Comedian, Recipient of the only 'Lifetime Achievement Award' ever given out by https://t.co/aBcge8Q9lj
Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
1.6M Followers 755 Following 9 years in the NFL. 2 rings. #9years2rings
joe mande @JoeMande
281K Followers 645 Following twitter is trash. facebook’s the devil. i bought 1M followers for like $400. none of this shit matters. antarctica is melting. watch my special on Netflix 😜
eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
80K Followers 2K Following PATREON: https://t.co/dm05RJWHYP / APOCALYPSE SOON Pod: https://t.co/S6IV0RUbna / THE COLLAPSE New Special: https://t.co/Hu7NtE57MA
Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt
3.9M Followers 4K Following Head over to https://t.co/RxSAvjPK2W for tour dates, comics & whatever else I’m working on. I like making stuff. IG, Threads & BlueSky: @pattonoswalt
Casey McCollum @CaseyMcCollum
954 Followers 383 Following
Rat Mom @Ratt_Mom
269 Followers 279 Following
Jill Morris @JillMorris
7K Followers 722 Following Onion contributor. Funny or Die. McSweeney's. Upright Citizens Brigade alum. Angelyne’s campaign manager for CA gov.
Babyface Blitz @djbabyfaceblitz
5K Followers 1K Following DJ + Storyteller | Records | VHS History behind the music 🎶 Let's Talk Records! 💿https://t.co/uFsA207aJ1
Laughing Lesbian @LaughingLesbian
13K Followers 3K Following Going to Dairy Queen and getting a small vanilla cone is like going to a brothel for a hug. #Fortnite #RedDead 💕
Keating Thomas @keatingthomas
15K Followers 263 Following These tweets may not be disseminated without the expressed, written consent of your mom. // I made @FilmSnuff
Kim @KlMBERLY_
5K Followers 344 Following I'm not a doctor but I think there's something wrong with you.
GoodGoodMexicanGrill @goodgoodgrill
623 Followers 529 Following
her porkness 🐽 @MoistPork
13K Followers 593 Following
Matthew Dolkart @matthewdolkart
4K Followers 484 Following If you let me borrow your socks, I'll return them.
Trends for United States
You might like
David
@DavidKlein5
3K Followers
👁 Adam Juskewitch
@juskewitch
8K Followers
Shawn Garrett
@ShawnGarrett
9K Followers
Zak
@FreeDriftwood
1K Followers