Ben Lyons @_BenLyons
technically an influencer. St Louis Joined February 2011-
Tweets340
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Followers312
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Following148
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Likes321
Just kinda set the money bags on your knees. I’d tell you to move the gold-plated racquet holder, but it’s welded to the center console. (by @_BenLyons) pointsincase.com/articles/this-…
If @springsteen doesn’t deny this, it becomes canon link.medium.com/XRYJ37KwWwb
Bruce Springsteen Answers His Password Reset Questions by Ben Lyons ift.tt/6Wwumr8
Inspired by real events (sort of)
[sees evangelist on street corner] me: uh-oh i think he's spotted me the grinch: do you have five minutes to hear how i was saved by the christmas spirit?
In this week's Newsletter, we've got work by Janie Beaufore @TayKayPhillips Katherine Bellantone @_BenLyons & @EugeneMirman! Plus for National Hot Dog Month, Brian Agler talking about his favorite hot-dog-related speech Subscribe and read more: tinyletter.com/humorouswriting
Writing this piece counts as my retirement planning
Writing this piece counts as my retirement planning
life-saving vaccine goldeneye in 1997 🤝 i heard the walmart an hour away has one
DM me for answer key
2019 timeline: "What Kevin Durant's Hat Placement Says About His Chances of Staying with the Warriors (story)" 2020 timeline:
seeing people smoke on TV in the '50s < seeing people touch their faces in videos recorded two weeks ago
THE NEW EPISODE IS OUT! The amazing @MEDarch @_BenLyons @iamRafeWilliams and @ETCinSTL of Dad Van join @MattBesser LIVE from St. Louis! Listen to it here: buff.ly/2pB6fkE
Anderson Cooper: And in a bombshell development this morning, it was revealed that the senator replied to the statement with a Chrissy Teigen clapping GIF. The news has sparked an intense backlash that's prompted many-- [when the first "leaked Slacks" scandal breaks]
I’m as optimistic about the fourth Warriors’ title as I am about the fourth Men In Black.
I’m as optimistic about the fourth Warriors’ title as I am about the fourth Men In Black.
Memorial Day is the Monday that went to school out west and came back with a hemp necklace and now just wants to chill.
If Stairway to Heaven came out now, I would mostly be upset that Spotify recommended a song over five minutes long.
It is with mixed emotions I announce that I’m leaving my wife for Game 7’s. Thank you for respecting our family privacy during this time ❤️
.@YouTube, you can just retitle my Recommended feed to "Your Freudian Id Laid Bare for You to See"
Future Hot Skeleton @KatiebotNunn
388 Followers 427 Following i would do a revolution but only if u guys wanna
its just "bepie" ma'a.. @newBepie
457 Followers 1K Following literally just happy to be here. i'm 6'3 btw and i'm the fastest boy alive!🏃♂️
Robyn Fennig @wi_statebird
3K Followers 1K Following Human, Athlete, @noiseultimate, Lilly’s mom🐶, Team USA 🇺🇸, she/hers #aclclub 💦🥩
Joe @BillyWheeler
568 Followers 860 Following Neature, Sustainable Ag, bees🐝, arborist, ultimate... now featuring trees 🌳 he/him 🏳️🌈
Erin Nelson @erinm_nelson
535 Followers 433 Following Cyclone fanatic, Spongebob enthusiast. John Krasinski tweeted at me 5/13/15
Scears @ScearsHNrcK9
0 Followers 246 Following
HeddaBecher @BK15dwWPDLsVP2N
0 Followers 386 Following
Camila Androlewicz @CAndrolewi83363
80 Followers 5K Following
Mayola Traver @MayolaTrav40437
79 Followers 5K Following
Kylie Wehrli @WehrliKyli54231
35 Followers 5K Following
Shantae Gaton @gaton_gat
64 Followers 5K Following
Dragon @toundought10183
9 Followers 2K Following
My dad sucks @RealErmnMusk
182 Followers 361 Following My dad is some douchey loser who failed up so much that you might have seen him on the Curse finale
Dave/Cyrus!!! | 🆓�.. @_BurntMicrowave
345 Followers 629 Following read pinned byf 📼 OSDD1B, Autistic 📼 @dehuman1zation 🫶 📼 #FREEPALESTINE 🍉 artist & VA :3 📼 visually impaired 📼 DAVE LEE FICTIVE! 📼 it/they/glitch/tech
Edward Gover @edward_gover
354 Followers 1K Following Husband. Father of 3 Boys. Striving for a better world for my Family. 🖕FJB🖕 🇺🇲 Trump 2024 🇺🇲 🎸☠️💀🏈⚾🥁
Nick Gregory @nickjgregory
169 Followers 517 Following
Gracie Beaver-Kairis @beaverkairis
2K Followers 2K Following Writer/Introvert/Oregonian. Haha's in: @realpunknews @mcsweeneys @WeeklyHumorist @PointsInCase @SlackjawHumor, etc. She/her. Insta: graciebk.writes
I'm NoContextRTD, no .. @NoContextRTD
160 Followers 1K Following | Angry Doctor Who Fan | DM Submissons are allowed | Autistic | Donna Noble/Catherine Tate hater | David Tennant hater |
Jordan Mead @LMSdude2016
41 Followers 307 Following I am funny energetic loves motorsports getting active and gaming
Neptune__Stars @NeptuneStars3
0 Followers 276 Following
Clarice @comedywithcarri
2K Followers 1K Following Copywriter and comedy writer. Opinions are mine and my hamster's. (she/her) in: @newyorker @pointsincase @the_belladonnas @weeklyhumorist
Illuministchris @illuministchris
472 Followers 1K Following Wedding Celebrant | Speaker | Emcee | Featured in @Slackjawhumor, @PointsinCase. Author, Best Ceremony Ever (WW Norton)
Qwerty Klemens @KlemensQwerty
0 Followers 35 Following
benjamin biordi @bangelo01
61 Followers 1K Following
Agnes Karlsson @agneskarlsson19
14 Followers 253 Following
nicky shuler @mokimba31
1 Followers 42 Following
Darius @Darius23184161
14 Followers 36 Following
Derek Sword @deksword
10 Followers 155 Following
kurrogane-3459 @linn_3459
0 Followers 11 Following
៹✧࣭ Rafachu. �.. @rhafachu
87 Followers 326 Following ꪶ🍓⃪꫶໋ᨘ݊◍ᜒ᜔੭yoongi uttedꪶ🍓⃪꫶໋ᨘ݊◍ᜒ᜔੭ 𝅄𝆯🐹❁𝆞jin utted𝅄𝆯🐹❁𝆞
Beavlefev @beavlefev
33 Followers 108 Following
Grace Barnes @grace_51111
11 Followers 448 Following She/Her, Synchronized swimmer, UVA, Bi-sexual, Virginia
Tachonky 👻✨️�.. @Tachonkey
21 Followers 472 Following
CindyisLazy @Cindy56913657
47 Followers 1K Following I’m a half thai and american 19 year old girl and I am a big lazy butt also hello from thailand 🇺🇸🇹🇭
Captain Barnacle Bill @loganmo21872687
256 Followers 557 Following
Nicole Erb @nerbingout
1K Followers 3K Following actor, writer @ucbtla @mcsweeneys @The_Belladonnas @SlackjawHumor @pointsincase, long-time Philly Phanatic lover (she/her)
I am not a bot @IHADSEXWITHMOM
153 Followers 730 Following
Lyndsay Wheble @lyndsay_wheble
976 Followers 3K Following Reader, writer, general pretender. Writing in @mironlinebbk @xrRebel etc. Associate Editor @ShortFiction8. MA Creative Writing @Oxford_Brookes. She/her.
❤️🖤💜💙 @IH725official
315 Followers 2K Following My favorite : Ikue Sakakibara and Team Payaman members Contact: [email protected]
JHP Media @MediaJhp
0 Followers 12 Following
footballboy @ze_footballboy
46 Followers 2K Following ⚽Daily football facts most people don't know & a quiz at the weekend...see how much you really know about football 😉
Future Hot Skeleton @KatiebotNunn
388 Followers 427 Following i would do a revolution but only if u guys wanna
Wide Right & Natty Li.. @WideRtNattyLt
38K Followers 808 Following The SB Nation community where humor and the Cyclones have collided for over 13 years. #AHF #RedWedding Join Our Discord: https://t.co/jMFaHCKI2V
Robyn Fennig @wi_statebird
3K Followers 1K Following Human, Athlete, @noiseultimate, Lilly’s mom🐶, Team USA 🇺🇸, she/hers #aclclub 💦🥩
Haley Talbot @haleytalbotcnn
25K Followers 5K Following team @cnn on the hill. Former @nbcnews + @msnbc. Proud @UCBerkeley alumna + Californian.
Slackjaw 🚀 @SlackjawHumor
5K Followers 757 Following @Medium humor. Large laughs. Tweets by our editors: @al_baia @cryingbaseball @hollymenderson @justingawel
Dave Wasserman @Redistrict
642K Followers 1K Following Senior Editor & Elections Analyst of the nonpartisan @CookPolitical Report w/ @AmyEWalter. Nerd for 🗺️ maps, ⛷️ ski slopes & 🎻 trad tunes. Has seen enough.
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
47K Followers 1K Following Writer -- Single Parents, President Show, New Girl, Kroll Show, Workaholics. On Bluesky with the same handle.
Katie Woo @katiejwoo
70K Followers 1K Following Cardinals stories for @TheAthleticMLB | California native | Never met a plate of ballpark nachos I didn't like |
Mark Titus @clubtrillion
257K Followers 635 Following @MostlySports / @MarkTitusShow / @BarstoolYak Zero career turnovers. My account has been hacked twice (and counting).
Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat
1.7M Followers 4K Following Dan Katz. Chicago @barstoolsports. Email - chicagotips@barstoolsports. @PardonMyTake podcast w/ @PFTCommenter.
I Think You Should Le.. @nbaleave
68K Followers 2K Following 'I Think You Should Leave' and the NBA are both very good. Let's put them together. Tweets by @rynprry 🏀
Django Gold @django
19K Followers 1K Following comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below
The New Yorker Humor @newyorkerhumor
40K Followers 827 Following New Yorker humor, cartoons, and comics.
Timothy McSweeney @mcsweeneys
261K Followers 1K Following The official twitter feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books. Publisher of @illustoria and @believermag.
Zach Dunn @zachbdunn
10K Followers 887 Following writer for What We Do In The Shadows + English Teacher + Fallout
prance @bocxtop
276K Followers 1K Following former backup jv quarterback current ?? [email protected]
Points in Case @PointsinCase
11K Followers 9K Following Enlightening and irreverent comedy from seasoned writers and fresh voices. Submit your work | $35 pay, no fee
Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST
20K Followers 3K Following cartoon network’s “comics to watch,” @nbcsnl, just for laughs
Travis Helwig @travishelwig
49K Followers 2K Following tv writer. @hafosafo. co-creator of EDITH! starring Rosamund Pike. fmr head writer for @crookedmedia and @adamruins.
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 976 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr
438K Followers 6K Following I tell the truth like white draws. FORMER: @TheDailyShow CURRENT: Social Recluse. FAMU grad reppin 205. Took me 5 yrs to get a 4yr degree, don't take me serious
thomas violence @thomas_violence
85K Followers 2K Following I'm Mr @boontavista, Mr @twobitmovieclub and Mr BORLFF.
Chris Garcia @_chrisgarcia
9K Followers 2K Following Stand Up Comic • Writer • Host of Scattered Podcast 🇨🇺 #sosCuba #EndAlz
Dan White @atdanwhite
155K Followers 2K Following comedy writer | reps: Framework Entertainment | I perform weekly on @improvisdead
Poorly Aged Things @PoorlyAgedStuff
1.1M Followers 248 Following showcasing poorly-aged things. shill sometimes but no ads. retweets ≠ poorly aged. header: @NipChipCookies icon: @dreamywolfdd
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.7M Followers 2 Following
Law Boy @The_Law_Boy
159K Followers 287 Following America's daintiest lawyer. @fivefourpod and @IfBooksPod
Martin Herlihy @martinmherlihy
112K Followers 596 Following Also in a sketch group with my friends https://t.co/6Gaw4SYfsm
The Perry Bible Fello.. @PBFcomics
108K Followers 1K Following Now offering Limited Edition prints: https://t.co/9gcEjd2v8K Support on Patreon: https://t.co/yMKGyrR8OP by @perryfellow, often with friends
Nate Cohn @Nate_Cohn
471K Followers 1K Following chief political analyst, @nytimes. writing about elections, public opinion and demographics for @UpshotNYT. polling and needling. PNW expat.
Clare Malone @ClareMalone
124K Followers 796 Following You can drag a horticulture but you can't make her think. Staff writer @NewYorker covering media and politics 📝[email protected] 📝
ian karmel @IanKarmel
77K Followers 3K Following Big time major standup comic. Tour dates @ the link below.
Derrick Goold @dgoold
146K Followers 2K Following Lead Cardinals writer @ St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Proud father. Lapsed cartoonist. World Record INF. 5x APSE #1 beat winner. Friendly neighborhood word slinger.
PUMAS @pumasultimate
141 Followers 31 Following Perfect Ultimate Maidens Aging Slowly! Womens Masters Ultimate Team with ladies from IA, NC, MN, MO, NE, SD, IL, IN, WY, CO, and maybe more.
Kirk Haaland @khaal53
6K Followers 1K Following Writing stuff and doing data things for https://t.co/yW39azjxIV and co-founder of https://t.co/ejp47MiBsX. Iowa State apologist and rational geek for evidence.
pixelatedboat aka “.. @pixelatedboat
305K Followers 879 Following Playboy Magazine’s 8th funniest Twitter account of 2015. Read my comics on IG https://t.co/skcDJtp4gE. Mostly posting on bluesky now.
Cait Bladt @caitbladt
878 Followers 3K Following Emmy award winning freelance producer || writer + doc director || frm @nightline, @vicenews, she/her
Alex @WeKnowItsGross
26 Followers 53 Following Not So Sexy - A bi-weekly podcast that makes sex easy to talk about.
Jon Favreau @jonfavs
1.4M Followers 2K Following The other one. @PodSaveAmerica, @CrookedMedia, https://t.co/mKXKFl0EF4, https://t.co/zvWhe0ETFE
In this week's newsletter, we recommended great writing from @_BenLyons, @hellakale, @JesseASparks, & @giucycouture. Plus info on my upcoming workshops & @JamesFolta's upcoming shows and his work in @DCpierson's newsletter! Check it out & subscribe: tinyletter.com/HumorousWritin…
Here are a few very tiny writing tricks of mine. (no bits): I like to give myself a set number of pages to hit a day rather than a number of hours to work. For me it's 10 but 5 is reasonable.
Bruce Springsteen Answers His Password Reset Questions by Ben Lyons ift.tt/6Wwumr8
Top Ten Albums 2022 shwanyboy.blogspot.com/2022/12/top-te…
my love language is cooking elaborate meals screaming at everyone to get out of the kitchen then loudly announcing the food was NOT MY BEST and waiting for compliments
Sometimes, putting aside whatever you're doing and reading a piece like this is worth the derailed train of thought. Great stuff by @_BenLyons pointsincase.com/articles/all-t…
In this week's Newsletter, we've got work by Janie Beaufore @TayKayPhillips Katherine Bellantone @_BenLyons & @EugeneMirman! Plus for National Hot Dog Month, Brian Agler talking about his favorite hot-dog-related speech Subscribe and read more: tinyletter.com/humorouswriting
"It’s been nine long years since I turned over my weapon. Nine years of peaceful days and memories that come barging into my brain at night. My point is, will you be adjusting my old salary for recent inflation?" mcsweeneys.net/articles/ill-c…
@MOVaccineAlerts @_BenLyons have you seen this?? An IT person in Iowa started one of these last week and it’s been very effective.
@gnrosenberg @_BenLyons @klyons814 This was a fun thread.
@_BenLyons This remake is gonna happen now. Jack Black as John Keating?
My Top Ten Albums list for 2020. Threw in an extra needed bonus album for your (& my) troubles. I miss live music very much. I miss John Prine too but feel like I got to know him a lot better this year. I would not have gotten through were it not for these sounds.
"Edward, I gave you scissors for hands, but don't let that define who you are" Ok. BTW what's my last name? "Scissorhands"
Normalize starting an underwater rock band and NOT making the octopus play drums
@DanPriceSeattle One of my favorites from Chris Rock. It's even better when you hear him say it.
the guy in the mlb logo is me. they did not ask permission. the ball hit me and i had to go to the hospital
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