Dad Tells Jokes @dad_tells
Dad joke enthusiast on a mission to make your day a little punnier. Join me for a daily dose of groans and giggles! 🤣 #DadJokes - 🔄 Re-posts appreciated Joined December 2023-
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Yesterday, I went to a DIY place to get manure for my garden but they were out of stock. I wasn't taking shit from anyone that day.
had a date last night. I really enjoyed it. tongiht I'm gonna try a fig
Spring is here! Just saw my first Robin!!!
My wife told me to put tomato sauce on the shopping list.. Now I can’t read any of it.
I saw a piece of toast in a cage at the zoo today It was bread in captivity
What’s an electrician’s favourite movie? Bulb Fiction
Why is it so hard to resist singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight?" It's always just a whim away.
I robbed a chicken this morning All I got was a couple bucks
If your wife has a “bun in the oven”… Does that mean you have doughnuts?
What do you call two pairs of pliers? Multipliers!
I didn't buy Eminem's merch It was sold on a shady website.
Did ya hear about the cross-dressing street racers? They were racing for pink slips.
My son threw a breadstick at his sister while we were out at Olive Garden I told him “if someone sees that, they’ll call the police and you’ll be charged with a salt and buttery!”
Chinese guy in a room with a Statue of the Japanese Prime Minister made from cork So, its a chinese guy and a cork-asian
I got married... I met a really hot girl who was half Japanese and half Philipino. I think I might have ruined our relationship as I kept calling her a jalapeño.
What do you say to your sister when she is crying? Are you having a crisis?
Is it OK that I start drinking as soon as the kids are at school? Or does that make me a bad teacher?
I found out that my former girlfriend posted adult content on Twitter I saw my ex's XXX X account
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@ladbible Not mentioned fire sticks for a couple of hours. U ok hun?
@dad_tells @ladbible Why do you think
@dad_tells @ladbible They want people to click on the post because they're scared
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! #WhiteBoardJokes
Farmers should have no reason to protest ever. They should be the single most pandered to and appeased people by every government on earth. Your government panders to those who produce poison drugs and make weapons of death. Those who grow the food? Screw them.
@dad_tells @HootPhD NGL, this is awesome.
Extremely sad news. The very funny and very lovely Ewen Macintosh, known to many as 'Big Keith' from The Office, has passed away. An absolute original. RIP.
“But you can eat pancakes any day of the year!” No thank you, we shall do the British thing of waiting until the appropriate day, called Pancake Day, upon which we will eat pancakes until sick of pancakes and requiring of no further pancakes for another year.
If the Chiefs win tonight I’ll give $5 to one lucky person who likes this tweet
@dad_tells @SoVeryBritish What do you call a Scouser in a suit? The Accused! 🤣🤣
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