Payne Vanderwoude™ @p_vanderwoude
not enjoying this as much as it may appear Oxford, OH Joined October 2012-
Tweets6K
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Followers180
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Following198
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Likes4K
dividing 75 by 2 to get 37.5....... awful experience. wouldn’t wish it on anyone
animal crossing: new horizons
I stir the garbage in my garbage can every couple hours
“I love police brutality” is such a good take. It whips ass at 90 miles an hour
ok the fact that sometimes when ur pouring water from a glass into something else you have to pour it confidently and deliberately or else the water will slip down the side of the glass, spilling everywhere????? hi metaphor alert
This is actually real! 😱 A smart candle 📲🕯️ A real flame that ignites from an app. 🔥 You can light 10 candles simultaneously! 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️ From anywhere in the world. But you can't extinguish it from the app! 🤦♂️ 🔥🔥🔥 🔥🏚️🔥 🔥🔥🔥
death confirmed in #AnimalCrossing new horizons
New facilities are available to be built on your island in #AnimalCrossing: New Horizons, from a museum showcasing the island’s rich ecosystem, Nook’s Cranny, the Able Sisters’ tailor shop, a campsite, and so much more. #ACNH
In addition to building bridges and inclines in #AnimalCrossing: New Horizons, you’ll be able to pave new pathways and construct your own rivers and cliffs with the Island Designer Construction Permit! You’ll need to have your island fully decked out to receive this app. #ACNH
Chicago Sunday Service - Can’t Tell Me Nothing
@p_vanderwoude @JackBox the only time that I’ve been to jack in the box there was a group of high schoolers sitting at a table with a bottle of svedka in the middle and they would just take turns taking pulls from it as they ate their food
Just ate at @JackBox for the first time, and I gotta say: whatever that was felt like the fast food version of domestic abuse
how to be legit in cincinnati, continued: - lack any ability to drive - cling to fc cincinnati despite knowing nothing about soccer bc all the other sports teams suck - complain about every weather phenomenon - describe any destination further than 15 minutes as “really far”
how to be legit in cincinnati: - refer to p&g as “proctor” - care deeply about where people went to high school - unironically love skyline - refer to gentrification as “revitalization” - rag on the streetcar without proposing any alternative solutions to public transportation
Bernie Sanders will force McDonald's to put Monopoly stickers back on the medium fry
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