philip matarese @philorphilip
cocreator of the HBO show Animals. linktr.ee/philmatarese Joined April 2011-
Tweets15K
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Followers14K
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Following1K
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Likes40K
Chubby Chaser would be a great name for a blues singer
The guy loves killing things
he already exists
Gonna do one of these for booze
this has gotta be one of the wildest Last Name / Scenario match-ups
this has gotta be one of the wildest Last Name / Scenario match-ups
Not a dog in this race but “It wasn’t Meant to be kind.” is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen
Not a dog in this race but “It wasn’t Meant to be kind.” is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen
good jam just dropped open.spotify.com/track/4z2O6WfA…
Very notable that while your classics like "lol" and "lmao" have hung around there's no longer any real use case for "brb" or "g2g". Where are you going to go. We're all here. Everywhere is here
Very notable that while your classics like "lol" and "lmao" have hung around there's no longer any real use case for "brb" or "g2g". Where are you going to go. We're all here. Everywhere is here
i like that when rappers are really, really mad at someone they write them a song
On this day four years ago, @philorphilip tweeted, "'What if we gave every mom an absolute dumptruck ass' -pixar"
Some barista asked me “did you see the Transformers movie where they’re kinda animals?” I said “Oh, no.” and he said “It’s sick.” That’s it. Then he took my order. I loved it. We should all be so free.
5’11” in heels Ok I’m like ten feet on a ladder the fuck are we talking about
not enough Vampire Weekend discourse mentioning they're hallowed a New Jersey band
If you prank me I’ll fucking kill you
idk why i did, and im sorry i did, but; Joe Biden but he's one of those girls whose septum piercings are always crooked
jeremy allen white you’ll never be him
Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo
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5K Followers 2K Following Cartoonist. Filmmaker. Creator of the BEST SELLING Justice Warriors. OUT IN STORES NOW !!! BACK IN STOCK!!! CLICK THE PINNED TWEET!Brian Cox says the Bible is 'one of the worst books ever' “The propaganda goes right the way back ... it starts with the idea that … out of Adam’s rib, this woman was created, and they’ll believe it cause they’re stupid … They need it, but they don’t need to be told lies, they…
This is what Mr. Krabs would have done at Jan. 6
30-40 hotdog vendors stormed Coachella after a fence toppled over
ARTISTS, you can only use ONE art picture to convince people to follow you. Which art piece you using
ARTISTS, you can only use ONE art picture to convince people to follow you. Which art piece you using
Probably.
Jerry Seinfeld says he wouldn’t be able to do many jokes from ‘SEINFELD’ in today’s world. “[One would be] Kramer decides to start a business of having homeless people pull rickshaws because, as he says, ‘They’re outside anyway.’ Do you think I could get that episode on the air…
didn't realize how overdue for a good cry i was until i saw this clip of alfred molina talking about his dad
Let’s all take this opportunity to revisit one of the greatest setups and punchlines ever
Jeff Bridges is returning for "Tron 3" and says he's "really anxious to work with [Jared Leto]." He also says: "I didn’t like the way I looked in ['Tron: Legacy']. I felt like I looked more like Bill Maher than myself. It was kind of bizarre." variety.com/2024/film/news…
All that crying after crashing is giving me the ick
Paramotor Pilot and Youtuber Anthony Vella suddenly falls 85ft out of the sky in horrifying crash
Just thought of a kind of insane outfit idea for guys that have a sort of alternative queer vibe
he tagged everyone 💀
It's what's inside that really counts. #smilingfriends #adultswim Artist: @smashingpencils
matt wood of vein
reddit made me feel better about my butt becoming too strong and fat for my pants from my new workout routine by reminding me i look really awesome naked now. thank you reddit
@philorphilip @BenSeretan Not saying he was there. Saying the hot dog roller during making time or whatever dave was up to at voyeur is +5
This is deeply second tier city behavior
New York is the best city man a whole crowd showed up to watch a guy eat a full container of cheese balls at 3 PM 😭
better than that colleen hoover shit (a thread)
@philorphilip You want to watch me eat hot dogs in a bar? Okay, sure 😜
saw that TS says way more cuss words on the new album and am reminded of the Always Sunny ep where Gail The Snail says "I'm sexually active, mom! get over it!" and her mom says "You're a 33 year old woman! you're supposed to be!"
New teaser for ‘IN A VIOLENT NATURE’, a horror movie shot from the perspective of the killer. In theaters on May 31.